japan switching to ENGLISH by 2025

sukida · Post by **sukida** » Apr 1st, '06, 10:14

incredible news.

all of the major japanese newspapers are actually printing today's
edition in both languages.

--sukida

April 1, 2006 (Tokyo) -- Japan to Speak Mostly English by 2025

In a surprise move, the Japanese government today announced a new date
for completing the island nation's long-anticipated switch to English.
As of January 3, 2025 -- only 19 years from now -- Japanese will no
longer be spoken in most places.

The plan, initiated by General Douglas MacArthur in 1950 as his last
act before leaving Japan, has surfaced only occasionally in the years
since. It had originally called for a transition by 2050, which would
have allowed a more leisurely one hundred years.

The last time it garnered public attention was in 1986, when a brief
wave of nationalism led to an ill-fated referendum that ironically
resulted in a slew of new English words. Remembering that, Japan's
globally-minded Prime Minister intends to speed up, and no longer
halt, the conversion to English.

"We realized the gradual way would end up a complete disaster like the
metric system in the US," he said before introducing his 10-point
"Ounce of Prevention" strategy.

To underscore the importance of the new date, the conference was held
by Prime Minister Kimura Takuya, Press Secretary Matsu Takako, and
Minister of Education Nakama Yukie.

On the other side of the Pacific, reactions were positive. Microsoft
hailed the move, but would not comment on its plan to standardize the
world on Microsoft English (tm). Linguist Noam Chomsky said, "English
speakers hear J-Pop like, `blah blah blah CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET blah
blah blah I WANNA ROCKS!' but now we can take the blah out".

In a symbolic move, Matsu and Nakama, both known for magic skills,
made the Japanese press kits disappear and English ones appear in
their place. Takuya thanked the audience by saying "3 9".

Schoolchildren in the land of the rising sailor uniform will still be
taught four separate writing systems (we are not making this up). "To
build moral fiber, zo!", said Nakama.

- Jodanyo News Service

Tokatu · Post by **Tokatu** » Apr 1st, '06, 10:16

April April

Reuben · Post by **Reuben** » Apr 1st, '06, 10:19

Nice try

airskape · Post by **airskape** » Apr 1st, '06, 10:30

probably the worst april fools joke ive heard this year lol

mms · Post by **mms** » Apr 1st, '06, 10:34

aikidoaasa · Post by **aikidoaasa** » Apr 1st, '06, 10:50

Blah!
That was not even fun! Cause I for one forgot that it was first of april...

gunjourui · Post by **gunjourui** » Apr 1st, '06, 10:57

LOL nice try

oberon · Post by **oberon** » Apr 1st, '06, 14:15

bwhahaha Prime Minister Kimura Takuya, Press Secretary Matsu Takako, and
Minister of Education Nakama Yukie.

LOL april fool

FaustVIII · Post by **FaustVIII** » Apr 1st, '06, 14:28

Nice one

......but the moment I saw the title, I didn't even believe it for a second. Some Japanese people can't even pronounce the retter, i mean, the letter "L"

.

beldaran · Post by **beldaran** » Apr 1st, '06, 14:28

sukida wrote:\
To underscore the importance of the new date, the conference was held
by Prime Minister Kimura Takuya, Press Secretary Matsu Takako, and
Minister of Education Nakama Yukie.

cute... very cute...

Shindou · Post by **Shindou** » Apr 1st, '06, 14:31

sukida wrote: To underscore the importance of the new date, the conference was held
by Prime Minister Kimura Takuya, Press Secretary Matsu Takako, and
Minister of Education Nakama Yukie.

LOL, very nice

TIticamara · Post by **TIticamara** » Apr 1st, '06, 14:34

Damn I didn;t notice all those names until I read the comments. How dumb of me!

neme_chan · Post by **neme_chan** » Apr 1st, '06, 14:36

pretty good idea

rofl

has anyone been to tokyo tosho? ;)

shichif · Post by **shichif** » Apr 1st, '06, 16:31

OMG. I can't belive it. I kept thinking "Hey this can't be real! How can the Minister have the same name as Nakama Yukie!" and I forgot that it was April 1st. -_-

missxmoody · Post by **missxmoody** » Apr 1st, '06, 16:38

i totally forgot today is april fool's day and was going .. "OMG? is this for real? japanese have the worst english!"

hatanaka · Post by **hatanaka** » Apr 1st, '06, 20:53

Jodanyo News Service

That's cute! jodan=joke

When I first read the title of the thread, I thought: "Dang! Why am I learning Japanese now??" Ha Ha! Good one!!!

Sakado · Post by **Sakado** » Apr 1st, '06, 21:00

nice one! It scared me for a while, i thought i was learning japanese for nothing

Nakama Yukie as Minister of Education, nahh, i'd rather have her as my PE teacher

nalika · Post by **nalika** » Apr 1st, '06, 21:16

good one...lol

Daisukimaru · Post by **Daisukimaru** » Apr 1st, '06, 21:20

as of most people i was like WTF why should i learn japaneses then

and i believed it -.-

Romance · Post by **Romance** » Apr 1st, '06, 21:27

haha while i read this i prepared a f*** YOU answer, but i got owned, hahaha!!!

goygakgoy · Post by **goygakgoy** » Apr 2nd, '06, 02:31

Dude...I don't know why, but I keep falling for all these april fool's jokes. I've been only checking this forum, Japanese section, for a few days now and it's just breaking my heart..haha.

Kae · Post by **Kae** » Apr 2nd, '06, 02:44

Oh it's a joke! Gosh and I am not Japanese, but ready to defend another's native language with a "What the hell...?". Actually thought about my country's which has lots! Haha, good one.

Li-Mei · Post by **Li-Mei** » Apr 2nd, '06, 02:47

I saw the date in the beginning of the article and I knew something was up. Haha. Very funny and interesting article!

albertoavena · Post by **albertoavena** » Apr 2nd, '06, 03:08

Thank god it was an April Fools Joke!! As I was reading it, I believed it and was about to cry

Nice April fools Joke!

Yeah, I also thought, "Why the heck am I learning Japanese?"

Schala · Post by **Schala** » Apr 2nd, '06, 04:35

TIticamara wrote:Damn I didn;t notice all those names until I read the comments. How dumb of me!

Lol. Me either. I skimmed it. And then I was like..this is NUTS. And then I saw the April Fools comments. Hahaha. I keep forgetting today is April 1st.

Post by **jholic** » Apr 2nd, '06, 07:11

pretty funny one. you definitely caught my eye with the topic title, but once i saw the first few lines, i knew it couldn't be true. have you read some of the english statements on their t-shirts? it would take them until 2225 before you have japanese speaking MOSTLY english!

~shinigami~ · Post by **~shinigami~** » Apr 2nd, '06, 07:23

Just posting to tell you that you got me good.

sejabin · Post by **sejabin** » Apr 2nd, '06, 17:28

OMG. I didn't even realize it was a joke.
I was like..

sze_sze · Post by **sze_sze** » Apr 2nd, '06, 17:37

I didn't fall for this..... how could I have?

haha

fluid · Post by **fluid** » Apr 2nd, '06, 23:57

I was hoping this would be true than I don't have to worry about learning japanese when I go to Japan someday

Nice April fool's joke but how could someone believe this lol...i guess most d-addict members are quite gullible here

arekesu · Post by **arekesu** » Apr 3rd, '06, 00:17

I totally believed this

Nice one

Twilight Ronin · Post by **Twilight Ronin** » Apr 3rd, '06, 06:53

Lol

Funny though how the article didn't mention Empress Kou... *whistles*

Kimika · Post by **Kimika** » Apr 4th, '06, 00:30

hahaha, nice one! I totally got fooled although it's after April Fool's xD. Freaked out thinking "I'm learning this language for no reason!!"

until I saw the actors' names. =P

abcd99 · Post by **abcd99** » Apr 4th, '06, 00:33

Sometimes people just takes April fools way too far.

topnotch97 · Post by **topnotch97** » Apr 4th, '06, 00:36

hilarious! ahahaha
i remember one site that got "shut down" by MPAA, with that poster and all and "we have filed your IP address. then i found out it was an April Fool's Joke. ahahahaha

6502inside · Post by **6502inside** » Apr 4th, '06, 04:26

I don't care if they're switching, I'm going to keep studying Japanese anyways. English is boring and I'm tired of it.

追伸、このトピックは冗談とわかりましたよ。(^^)

Twilight Ronin · Post by **Twilight Ronin** » Apr 4th, '06, 05:17

lol, they're, of course, not... it's the best written April joke I've seen this year.

AjiKan · Post by **AjiKan** » Apr 4th, '06, 05:33

Great Job, you totally got me >< Until i read the last line. Thank god i can understand enough Japanese.

Ahhh.. so scary ><

moonlit · Post by **moonlit** » Apr 4th, '06, 15:55

Oh my gosh, I totally forgot about checking the date. I actually got worried that this would really happen! The article is really well-written though, it sounds really professional!

faithfulpanda · Post by **faithfulpanda** » Apr 4th, '06, 16:15

bahahha,t hat's awesome, good thing I...

oh wait. no. i definately believed it for all of 2 seconds.

sukida · Post by **sukida** » Apr 9th, '06, 21:54

it is gratifying that so many people commented on my little prank and
that all of those fooled had a great sense of humor about it. thanks! you surprised *me*.

it's fun every time a victim confesses. have *you* confessed yet?

i also posted to http://jtv-forum.clubbed.org/index.php?showtopic=3431
(more good natured victims, i think including a fansubber) and
http://forums.tokyotosho.com/index.php/topic,298.0.html (most people
didn't get the joke ever! i responded with more hints).

i hope it was as fun for many of you, even the ones who weren't fooled
for a second, as it was for me.

jayph · Post by **jayph** » Apr 9th, '06, 22:49

dei uiruu purobarii supikking raiku disu! ( they will probably speaking like this

)

jalapeno · Post by **jalapeno** » Apr 10th, '06, 23:01

geez. i almost belived this article if it weren't for matsu takako's name! hahaha! but yeah. i think nihongo is such a beautiful language and it's one of the things that makes japan, japan... if you get my drift.

Junfan21 · Post by **Junfan21** » Aug 11th, '06, 20:41

I feel so bad for believing this... Oh well, nice one!

doink-chan · Post by **doink-chan** » Aug 12th, '06, 04:43

*laughs at the doinks on TokyoTosho thread* Seriously, did most of these people not read the Wikipedia links about Matsu Takako, Kimura Takuya and Nakama Yukie?

Good April Fools' joke though, hopefully next year's joke will be even more elaborate (doinkies is awful at April Fools' jokes T.T).

FruitChaat · Post by **FruitChaat** » Aug 15th, '06, 13:05

haha i was readin g this and i was like wtf this doesnt make any sense then i saw kimutakus name and i was just like uhhh wat is this, then i saw the date it was posted and it all clicked =D

imaretard · Post by **imaretard** » Oct 8th, '06, 03:06

aahh

dragonball(all of them)
fuits basket
gundam wing,g,x,and seed
naruto
magical knight rayearth
sunny pig
flame of recca
hajime no ippo
slam dunk
comic party
jubei-chan ninja girl
NANA
sorccerer hunter
yakitate japan
gunslinger girl
detective conan

Starlightkitty7 · Post by **Starlightkitty7** » Oct 9th, '06, 14:18

oh! lol actually...I got fooled for a second. ^^''

AngelicLayer · Post by **AngelicLayer** » Oct 10th, '06, 18:42

It sux! Only one country on this planet where japanese is spoken only all over the world! Changin to English is gonna be true only with a dumb prime minister! Japan wont give up its culture and its language I think!!! Because I think, a hamburger cannot replace sushi, and a cowboys cannot replace a samurai! Washingto cannot replace Tokyo, and the palm also cannot replace sakura!!!!

Néa Vanille · Post by **Néa Vanille** » Oct 11th, '06, 11:11

AngelicLayer wrote:It sux! Only one country on this planet where japanese is spoken only all over the world! Changin to English is gonna be true only with a dumb prime minister! Japan wont give up its culture and its language I think!!! Because I think, a hamburger cannot replace sushi, and a cowboys cannot replace a samurai! Washingto cannot replace Tokyo, and the palm also cannot replace sakura!!!!

lol.

20centuryboy · Post by **20centuryboy** » Oct 11th, '06, 12:47

AngelicLayer wrote: Because I think, a hamburger cannot replace sushi,

I'd say, " a hamburger can't replace a hambaagu"

fairytwix · Post by **fairytwix** » Oct 11th, '06, 12:53

AngelicLayer wrote:It sux! Only one country on this planet where japanese is spoken only all over the world! Changin to English is gonna be true only with a dumb prime minister! Japan wont give up its culture and its language I think!!! Because I think, a hamburger cannot replace sushi, and a cowboys cannot replace a samurai! Washingto cannot replace Tokyo, and the palm also cannot replace sakura!!!!

i specifically logged on for this..all i can say is.. LOL! LOL! LOL!!! hahaha...soreeh angeliclayer no offense but...u dint really think this was tru right?? lol..~ im sure u dint..hahah..but ur reaction was juz sooo funeeeeh...hahaha..imagine if it was true..lol... ~

sukida · Post by **sukida** » Oct 22nd, '06, 02:09

more than one person at tokyo toshokan (check out the link on the previous page or so) called it cultural rape, or similar.

pwner4once · Post by **pwner4once** » Oct 22nd, '06, 02:22

loll.... i just read this thread and thought it was real. I thought there would be no more waiting for dramas by 2050

goygakgoy · Post by **goygakgoy** » Oct 22nd, '06, 02:39

I read this a long time ago....I still got fooled...hehe.

infimum · Post by **infimum** » Mar 31st, '07, 23:21

bump

TRaven · Post by **TRaven** » Apr 1st, '07, 04:53

ok, i'm back from cleaning myself after soiling myself. what a horrible prank! haha I didnt even notice the names and stuff, haha

bluemoo21 · Post by **bluemoo21** » Apr 4th, '07, 07:51

AngelicLayer wrote:It sux! Only one country on this planet where japanese is spoken only all over the world! Changin to English is gonna be true only with a dumb prime minister! Japan wont give up its culture and its language I think!!! Because I think, a hamburger cannot replace sushi, and a cowboys cannot replace a samurai! Washingto cannot replace Tokyo, and the palm also cannot replace sakura!!!!

soo true though

cutepiekiss · Post by **cutepiekiss** » Apr 4th, '07, 08:20

hahahahaha..I got fooled................although, today is not 1st April

rayasunshine · Post by **rayasunshine** » Apr 4th, '07, 08:43

lol.. Its 3 days late and i totally fell for this for about a minute.. i was just sitting here in front of my computer with my mouth open... before I noticed the names. funny

vina.loves.sushi · Post by **vina.loves.sushi** » Apr 4th, '07, 08:53

oh man, i can't believe i fell for this joke...hahaha! so funny!

Felguard · Post by **Felguard** » Apr 4th, '07, 09:11

I believed it up until "Japanese will no longer be spoken in most places." That gave the whole thing away.

Pandemonium · Post by **Pandemonium** » Apr 5th, '07, 00:41

... wasn't this from last year?

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japan switching to ENGLISH by 2025

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