Interracial dating... your views?

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Rupugus
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Post by Rupugus » Jan 24th, '06, 14:33

Rakkie wrote:Just read the whole thread. As expected in a english-speaking forum dedicated to asian dramas the vast majority of people seem to be for interracial dating. I don't think that d-addicts is representative of the general population at large unfortunately.

A lot of people seem to be confusing cultural gaps with racial differences. Sure, there is usually a fair amount of overlap and it is interesting too, but maybe a separate thread should be dedicated to it.
agreed, this is especially true in America, but racial difference does not necessarily imply a culture gap.
Rakkie wrote:Here are some reasons why it might be okay to be against (at least some forms of) interracial dating:

1* interracial couples who use their relationship to make them feel morally superior to others. like people who will go out of their way to let you know how much better it is dating someone of a different race.

2* purely practical reasons against interracial dating. say you are a dark-skinned nomad living in the sahara desert. it may not be practical for you to marry a white girl if she was going to get sunburnt each day due to the extreme heat there. yeah, lame example, but i'm sure someone can come up with a better one where racial differences have a practical purpose.

3* people who date interracially to improve their own social standing. some girls i met in China would go out with white guys simply because it impressed their friends.

4* you might not be physically attracted to other races. since you don't really have conscious control over what you are physically attracted to or not, this is not the same as racism (although some people might consider you shallow). as long as you don't force others to adopt these values, i think this is a valid reason not to date interracially.

For the record, I do date interracially, i just don't think it is as clear cut as most people here seem too.
see, that's where I disagree, I do think it's that clear cut. To me, there are no logical reasons to be AGAINST interracial dating, all the examples you gave were extenuating circumstances, and examples of why that individual personally would not date inter racially.

1. The same could be said for mono racial couples who go out of their way to show that they are Superior, this is a question of arrogance, not race.

2. in this particular example, assuming it's impossible to relocate to a more suitable climate for both of them, it's the climate, not he skin color that decides this. Dark skin GENERALLY means adaptability to hot environments, generally. but these days there are dark people who were raised in cold environments and pale people who were raised in warmer ones. human adaptability to climate does not change your skin color as fast as evolution would and the light skinned person may be just as use to the heat as the dark nomad. But back to my original point, even if they both decided against that relationship, Neither of them need to be AGAINST multiracial dating.

3. while you may be against to people dating purely to impress your friends, or against that particular couple, that is no reason to be AGAINST to interracial dating. besides, while I don't particularly agree with doing that either, what gives you the right to decide what's the right or wrong reason to date/marry someone? What about people who marry for citizenship? or money? are they wrong too?

4. perfectly logical. this may make you shallow, or it may stop you from interracial dating, but it does not mean you're AGAINST interracial dating. and in this case, people are often surprised at who they end up being attracted to despite the so called "standards" that they once had. Ex... If I was only attracted to girls with long hair, I may still fall for a girl with short hair, because you can't choose whom you fall in love with.

well, at least that's my opinion, I'm sure I've expressed it Ad nauseam.
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wingsky
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Post by wingsky » Jan 24th, '06, 18:57

I am half english & hk chinese... i have dated a few white girls in my life but only one chinese girl

I want to date more chinese girls :lol but its a bit more difficult because all my chinese friends are like, back in hk, while im stuck in uk haha so i dont know many chinese in here where i'm at work and stuff.

if most of my friends are english does that make me a banana? hope not!! :cry: :lol
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Post by GhstDreamer » Jan 25th, '06, 22:16

wingsky wrote:
if most of my friends are english does that make me a banana? hope not!! :cry: :lol
Yes that does make you a banana :P

Don't worry - all my friends are caucasians too (they're all either Italian or Irish) - I don't have a single Asian friend (only some Asian acquintances I sometimes call them friends out of laziness but they're not) so I could be classified as a banana as well... :lol
Last edited by GhstDreamer on Jan 25th, '06, 22:20, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by wingsky » Jan 25th, '06, 22:18

haha so we both bananas.. lets split :lol :lol :lol
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Post by Sev » Feb 8th, '06, 08:18

Anyone who says interracial dating isn't an issue and is something that should be done wholeheartedly is a blubbering romantic, fetishist, idealis or has never dated someone interracially and fantasizes to.

Sorry, but true.

I'm not against interracial dating at all. It's not a bad thing - but it's also not a GOOD thing either. It simply is what it is. Dating. Interracial dating is simply another aspect of dating, as same sex dating would be.

Now, can it work out? Of course it can. Can it cause problems? Of course it can. The prevalent argument of people saying interracial dating shouldn't even be an issue seems to be the fact that culture is not necessarily tied into race. They have a point - that can be true, but it is also moronic to assume that this isn't the case in a crippling minority of the cases. You walk up to an Asian person and ask them what they eat at home and what language they are spoken to in. How they were raised up as. Culture is almost always a racial marker.

I'm a Korean-American. I immigrated to this country with my family when I was three, and now I'm naturalized and consider myself first and foremost American. I've dated interracially, and all the girls were all different and the dating experience was different because of culture. My first and favorite crush was an Egyptian girl, and then I dated a few white girls, and from then on I dated two Asians.

I don't know what you would consider dating, since my first girlfriend was in the fourth grade, but we hung out together and did puppy love things. We'd go out to pizza places and bike around together. Back then I couldn't really sense much of a difference. Then the white girls - very very different. Going over each other's house we would eat different food, be treated differently at the dinner table, be asked different questions.. Two of those families were ignorantly racist. One would always order Chinese whenever I came over, and the father of the second would keep talking about the latest Jackie Chan flick he saw. The third I was a college freshman, and even though the experience was more or less kosher, the father would discuss Asian-American writers and celebrities with me in what he thought was being culturally sensitive or polite.

I almost dated one Asian girl who was adopted, and Korean by ethnicity, but even though she was raised Italian-American and never saw any Asians until college the dating experience was still more like dating an Asian girl. She was very VERY Italian - her last name was Castalucci. I don't exactly know how to describe it, but it was definately easier. I believe race affects who we are no matter what kind of society we live in or where we are raised. It is always a marker. I've met Asian girls who've deliberated castrated themselves from other Asian kids and exclusively dated white guys and hung out with white kids, but they were still running away and their race was still a motivating impact in their lives - because their whole life was spent separating themselves from it. It will be there no matter what, and no matter what, a little bit of that legacy will be in it.

I dated a Japanese girl who was stereotypically Japanese. It was short and didn't last long. She went along with everything I said, and had no opinion or backbone. The relationship didn't last long. I can't stand girls who aren't independent.

The second Asian girl was the last person I dated. She was also a Korean immigrant who grew up around white kids and became saturated in the culture. We connected on alot of levels, and we were products of the same upbringing, but long story short it didn't work out. Well they say your first love can never be your last love, and it's the one that always hurts the most. I've been single for about three years now.

I always thought of myself as very Americanized, but I never realized what an imapct my parents' culture made on me even though I didn't agree with almost everything they taught me. And it will be with me forever.

So if you say interracial dating is a-okay with no problems or twists or complications, you must've been raised by robots, because culture is almost always an issue. Especially if you're an Asian guy. You see alot of Asian girls with guys of other races because the families generally don't care - the girl does not carry on the family name, or the family's culture. Asian males carry on the family name, the culture AND they are the paragon representation of that family - especially if they're the only male. In Asian culture, judging families hinges completely on the children, because children are the result of how well parents can create and raise a family, and males especially because they carry on the traditions and the culture of the family. My friend Lisa is half-Japanese from her father's side, and speaks fluent Japanese. My neighbor has a Chinese husband, and all their kids speak fluent Chinese. The rest of the half-Asian kids I know with Asian mothers do not understand why their mothers can't act like their friends' mothers and only know rudimentary phrases in the language of their mother.

This post might give people the misguided notion that I am against interracial dating. I'm not. But I'm saying interracial dating definately IS a big factor in the dating experience. I've experienced this personally and within my family - my cousin Debra is half-Korean through my aunt, and her parents got divorced because they would argue and fight over the stupidest things, like whether they should eat Korean food or American food in the house. Or how they should raise their kids.

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LightningEmperor
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Post by LightningEmperor » Feb 8th, '06, 08:31

in the future, we're all going to be of mixed blood. So I think people who have an inter racial relationship are getting a head start.
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Post by milleu87 » Feb 8th, '06, 08:34

i'm a product of interacial marriage. when i was a kid i didn't notice a different between me and the other kid and mainly because i go to a school where 90% chinese and 10% malay. and so the chinese accept me as a chinese and the malay accept me as a malay too although i was closer to my chinese friend. my family practise more chinese tradition although we are not buddha or christian. when i went to boarding where almost 100% malay, some of them makes jokes about chinese and i know they doesn't meant me but sometimes i feel hurt by that jokes because that is partly what i am. my parents still have a very conservative view of interacial dating. they don't approve me dating a white guy and of course being asian they prefer asian. i don't see any problem with interracial dating but there's a chance that such thing will not work out.

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Post by megawarriors » Feb 8th, '06, 08:46

No problem with interracial dating, dating asian girl now :) I am european.
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Post by Sev » Feb 8th, '06, 08:47

LightningEmperor wrote:in the future, we're all going to be of mixed blood. So I think people who have an inter racial relationship are getting a head start.
See, I don't believe that. The idea of race being eliminated from society in favor of species, I can kind of see on a yielding day in the very very far future, but...

If you can see growing populations of 1.3 billion Chinese people and 1 billion Indians all becoming mixed with the rest of the world, I'd like to ask for the number of the dating service you're thinking about.

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Rupugus
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Post by Rupugus » Feb 9th, '06, 09:22

Sev wrote:Anyone who says interracial dating isn't an issue and is something that should be done wholeheartedly is a blubbering romantic, fetishist, idealis or has never dated someone interracially and fantasizes to.
Blubbering romantic, Guilty.:wub:
Fetishist? Maybe .:whistling:
Idealist. Most definately. :thumright:
but as previously stated due to my circumstances I'm kind of forced to date interracially, so the last bit isn't true, but now I'm just being facetious.

In my own personal experience, racial and cultural differences have not been a big issue, if even an issue at all. but I'm very much an exception to the rule, Because I was technically raised hispanic, but I've been told I don't Look, sound or act Hispanic (whatever that's supposed to look, sound and act like). But then again, I think that most people don't fit thier stereotypes either actually. Or even to a lesser extent, not everyone is defined by their "culture". Most people have individual likes and dislikes that contradict their own culture. I had a point somewhere in all of that.. oh yeah.

When dating, one should look at the individual, not the color. If someone can't even look past silly differences like what their date eats at home, what language their parents speak, or what movies they like, then I pitty them really. They're missing out on alot.

I believe race affects who we are no matter what kind of society we live in or where we are raised. It is always a marker.
see, i disagree completely about the race thing. I'm not saying "Race and culture play NO part in human personality!" I'm syaing that we can make choices to move past them. you don't have to be a stereotype, you don't have to be picky about everything that does not fit your culture. People can chose to be who they want to be regardless of where they are raised and what color they are. Just be true to yourslef and fall in love with whomever you want. I'm not saying everyone choses to, but it's a posibility. I'm a living example.
I've met Asian girls who've deliberated castrated themselves from other Asian kids and exclusively dated white guys and hung out with white kids, but they were still running away and their race was still a motivating impact in their lives - because their whole life was spent separating themselves from it. It will be there no matter what, and no matter what, a little bit of that legacy will be in it.
deliberately avoiding your own people is silly, especially for just that one reason, this seems to me like a personal problem for the girl(s) you are talking about. but just to play devil's advocate, Is there a specific number of people of your race you're supposed to be around to be yourself? How many white friends can a blakc guy have before he's running away from his culture? If there is a number, I'd like to know it, I might need to make a few more friends. -_^

bah, I'm bad at arguing my point anyway, so here it is, re-stated as simply as I can verbalize it with my limited skills.

Don't pick your dates or friends by race. pick them because you like/love/are attracted to them.

that's it. That's not necesarily how things DO work, but it's how I think they should work. but then again, I'm an Idealist. I believe that There should be no more issues in interracial dating than in monoracial dating, heck, we should get rid of the labels once and for all.

now someone might say "you're just an idealist" or "that's not how things work in the real world". but the way I figure it, if that is the way the world works, then i've got it right. if it isn't the way the world works, the way for me to change the world is to belive in it myself. hurray for a world that's colorblind.
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Post by allredndizzy » Feb 9th, '06, 12:00

i don't see anything wrong with interracial dating.. as long as the people involved--the guy & d girl..not their friends/relatives--- are happy with each other...
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Post by Mythrel » Feb 9th, '06, 17:34

Well said Rupugus, I totally agree with you.



I think we worry to much about these ''cultural differences'' which I cannot say isn't an issue, but it is only if you make it. If you are really not willing to make compromises for cultural differences then you should not get involved with any relationship period, because you have to be willing to compromise for all relationships to work. You don't have to agree with everything they do just as you wouldn't expect them to understand your point of view all the time. You have to work through those differences and reach an agreement. Every relationship is going to have its hardships. Every relationship is going to have those silly arguements. There are always going to be issues plaguing every relationship. These cultural differences are not so big if you are willing to learn. I think we could benefit greatly with interracial relationships. If you sit down at listen to what someone from another race has to say you will quickly realize they are not so much different from yourself. You can become less ignorant that way and it seems to be what holds interracial relationships back. Ignorance will always exist sadly.
Last edited by Mythrel on Feb 9th, '06, 18:35, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by mainemanx » Feb 9th, '06, 17:50

Why do you care about MY opinion of YOU date. Nobody should really give a damn who YOU date. All this assumes you're not overly sensitive to political cartoons.

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Post by Sev » Feb 10th, '06, 04:18

Rupugus wrote:
Sev wrote:Anyone who says interracial dating isn't an issue and is something that should be done wholeheartedly is a blubbering romantic, fetishist, idealis or has never dated someone interracially and fantasizes to.
Blubbering romantic, Guilty.:wub:
Fetishist? Maybe .:whistling:
Idealist. Most definately. :thumright:
but as previously stated due to my circumstances I'm kind of forced to date interracially, so the last bit isn't true, but now I'm just being facetious.

In my own personal experience, racial and cultural differences have not been a big issue, if even an issue at all. but I'm very much an exception to the rule, Because I was technically raised hispanic, but I've been told I don't Look, sound or act Hispanic (whatever that's supposed to look, sound and act like). But then again, I think that most people don't fit thier stereotypes either actually. Or even to a lesser extent, not everyone is defined by their "culture". Most people have individual likes and dislikes that contradict their own culture. I had a point somewhere in all of that.. oh yeah.
What did you try to prove in this except regurgitating something I said?

My English is perfect. I dress like an average American college student. I don't listen to any Korean music, watch Korean TV or keep up with Korean news. Of course most people don't fit their stereotypes. My favorites foods are brick oven thin crust pizza, steaks and Mediterranean food. I think you skipped the portion of my post where I mentioned I'm very Americanized and don't agree with many parts of my parents' culture, but in the end, I am still a product of my upbringing.

You were technically raised Hispanic. What language did you speak growing up in your home? What food did you eat? How did your parents raise you? You think that has absolutely no impact in your life? Noone on this thread or the world can say no to those things.
When dating, one should look at the individual, not the color. If someone can't even look past silly differences like what their date eats at home, what language their parents speak, or what movies they like, then I pitty them really. They're missing out on alot.
When did I even suggest this? I'm saying those things are factors in race almost always being linked to culture no matter how the person turns out.

I believe race affects who we are no matter what kind of society we live in or where we are raised. It is always a marker.
see, i disagree completely about the race thing. I'm not saying "Race and culture play NO part in human personality!" I'm syaing that we can make choices to move past them. you don't have to be a stereotype, you don't have to be picky about everything that does not fit your culture. People can chose to be who they want to be regardless of where they are raised and what color they are. Just be true to yourslef and fall in love with whomever you want. I'm not saying everyone choses to, but it's a posibility. I'm a living example.
That's a total lie. First of all stereotypes wouldn't exist unless they had a portion of truth in them in the first place.

Take Harold and Kumar for example. John Cho plays the quiet, timid Korean guy who works as an investment banker, graduated from an Ivy League school and is a math wiz. Kal Penn plays an Indian guy who's parents are all highly successful in the medical field, and who always wanted to be a doctor but was too afraid to admit it to himself in fear of being stereotyped. It would be foolish to reject stereotypes, but at the same time those things do not define who we are. I enjoy martial arts and loves studying about them and take what I learn on a spiritual level, and it's indeed a stereotype and a major part of me, but it doesn't define who I am.

If you claim to be a living example of you somehow "transcending" the label of race, you must've grown up in some fairy tale world, because apparently you've never had an event that's put things into perspective for you. You've never been racially slighted? Noone's ever called you a spic? Race is always a huge part of who you are. I don't give a crap where you are. If you have any access to media you're always bombarded by it.
I've met Asian girls who've deliberated castrated themselves from other Asian kids and exclusively dated white guys and hung out with white kids, but they were still running away and their race was still a motivating impact in their lives - because their whole life was spent separating themselves from it. It will be there no matter what, and no matter what, a little bit of that legacy will be in it.
deliberately avoiding your own people is silly, especially for just that one reason, this seems to me like a personal problem for the girl(s) you are talking about. but just to play devil's advocate, Is there a specific number of people of your race you're supposed to be around to be yourself? How many white friends can a blakc guy have before he's running away from his culture? If there is a number, I'd like to know it, I might need to make a few more friends. -_^
That isn't playing Devil's Advocate. That's called opening up a new subject of discussion and trying very unsuccessfully to link it to the original point.

My point: I have met girls who deliberately do anything they can to get away from Asian culture of any kind. They love art from all parts of the world EXCEPT Asia. They see all Asian men, no matter how big or jacked, as effeminate and unmanly. They see all Asians as shallow and loud.

Your point: How many friends does someone need to have of his own race to not be considered a member of that race?

Uhh.. How do you draw that as a correlation to my own point as playing Devil's Advocate?

If you're trying to suggest I consider people who associate with mostly with people outside of their race as cultural pariahs, that was pretty dumb of you. And a bad cheapshot. In high school most of my friends were Chinese and Indian, simply because I didn't get along with the Koreans in my high school. Now in college I have a big mix of friends, mostly cause it's art school and it's easy to find something to talk about. At my church all my friends are Korean.
Don't pick your dates or friends by race. pick them because you like/love/are attracted to them.
And where did I say otherwise? Quote it for me. You keep finding arguments in my post that don't even exist.

I'm saying race is always a factor in interracial dating, contrary to your opinion, and it does make a difference in the relationship. I didn't say people should go around dating and associating friendships by race, because you apparently think we're all the same color and culture and upbringing and this in no way affects how people interact with each other. You completely misunderstood me by assuming the way relationships turn out because of racial differences are bad, when the only thing I've asserted is that they simply turn out dating. Hence my original point to interracial dating simply being that - dating. It's not a good thing. It's not a bad thing. It's simply a thing.
that's it. That's not necesarily how things DO work, but it's how I think they should work. but then again, I'm an Idealist. I believe that There should be no more issues in interracial dating than in monoracial dating, heck, we should get rid of the labels once and for all.
What is it with you and thinking being different from each other is something that's to be shunned and eliminated? The only way to get rid of such labels was if we were the same.
now someone might say "you're just an idealist" or "that's not how things work in the real world". but the way I figure it, if that is the way the world works, then i've got it right. if it isn't the way the world works, the way for me to change the world is to belive in it myself. hurray for a world that's colorblind.
This is why idealists and romantics annoy me. No offense. But you don't realize what would happen if things turn out the way you think they should turn out to be in what seems like a perfect world.

A world that's colorblind still means it's a world that's black adn white.

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Post by babygiirl » Feb 10th, '06, 04:38

Sev ... I would have quote ur post and just add "ditto" but I think one post of your is long enough for the threat :roll .

Your point was what I used to be ... yah, been there done that :crazy: . Maybe a lot of those that have reply that race or culture background is not a factor in relationship ... either have no (or very little if any) inter-racial relationship to actually say something like that and believe in it because that's naive thinking. Just like saying religious doesn't play a large role in relationship ... if you're from different religious, racial, culture background, I suggest don't date! Avoid all those work UNLESS absolutely necessary (i.e. pregnancy?!?)

I've seen too many relationships broke up due to : cultural, racial, social, religious issues and too few relationships derive from those differences that actually work.

-bbg

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Post by Rupugus » Feb 10th, '06, 08:05

hmmm, tone does not translate well to text, but my previous post was mostly a passive dump of opinions, a reaction as opposed to an argument like the posts before it were... for once I really was just ranting pointlessly.... Mostly because opinions, even if they carry a point are fairly impossible to argue against, or something like that... anyway, I'm just adding this "disclaimer" because I sensed some agression in the tone of Sev's reply.
Sev wrote:
Rupugus wrote:
Sev wrote:Anyone who says interracial dating isn't an issue and is something that should be done wholeheartedly is a blubbering romantic, fetishist, idealis or has never dated someone interracially and fantasizes to.
Blubbering romantic, Guilty.:wub:
Fetishist? Maybe .:whistling:
Idealist. Most definately. :thumright:
but as previously stated due to my circumstances I'm kind of forced to date interracially, so the last bit isn't true, but now I'm just being facetious.

In my own personal experience, racial and cultural differences have not been a big issue, if even an issue at all. but I'm very much an exception to the rule, Because I was technically raised hispanic, but I've been told I don't Look, sound or act Hispanic (whatever that's supposed to look, sound and act like). But then again, I think that most people don't fit thier stereotypes either actually. Or even to a lesser extent, not everyone is defined by their "culture". Most people have individual likes and dislikes that contradict their own culture. I had a point somewhere in all of that.. oh yeah.
What did you try to prove in this except regurgitating something I said?
Wasn't really arguing against you, wasn't trying to prove you wrong, just expresing an opinion and some experiences.

My English is perfect. I dress like an average American college student. I don't listen to any Korean music, watch Korean TV or keep up with Korean news. Of course most people don't fit their stereotypes. My favorites foods are brick oven thin crust pizza, steaks and Mediterranean food. I think you skipped the portion of my post where I mentioned I'm very Americanized and don't agree with many parts of my parents' culture, but in the end, I am still a product of my upbringing.
I didn't skip that part at all, but I think you're not taking into account your own free will. *I* believe that you don't need to listen to the environment you gre up in and you can work to overcome anything you don't like from the mind control that parents give their children. 'sjust the way I think, no offence intended.
You were technically raised Hispanic. What language did you
speak growing up in your home? What food did you eat? How did your parents raise you? You think that has absolutely no impact in your life? Noone on this thread or the world can say no to those things.
well, to answer your questions, Spanish, Rice and beans, Catholic unfortunately, no as much as you'd think. but as far as me personally, I'm not catholic anymore, I'm pretty tired of hispanic food, And I rarely speak spanish because those around me don't either. I'm just the way I am because it's the way I want to be.
When dating, one should look at the individual, not the color. If someone can't even look past silly differences like what their date eats at home, what language their parents speak, or what movies they like, then I pitty them really. They're missing out on alot.
When did I even suggest this? I'm saying those things are factors in race almost always being linked to culture no matter how the person turns out.
you didn't, and if you look closely, never said you did. i was just stating an opinion of mine.

I believe race affects who we are no matter what kind of society we live in or where we are raised. It is always a marker.
see, i disagree completely about the race thing. I'm not saying "Race and culture play NO part in human personality!" I'm syaing that we can make choices to move past them. you don't have to be a stereotype, you don't have to be picky about everything that does not fit your culture. People can chose to be who they want to be regardless of where they are raised and what color they are. Just be true to yourslef and fall in love with whomever you want. I'm not saying everyone choses to, but it's a posibility. I'm a living example.
That's a total lie. First of all stereotypes wouldn't exist unless they had a portion of truth in them in the first place.
perhaps I'm misunderstanding you here, What is a lie? It's very true that I disagree with what you said and that text is my opinion and how I disagree.
Take Harold and Kumar for example. John Cho plays the quiet, timid Korean guy who works as an investment banker, graduated from an Ivy League school and is a math wiz. Kal Penn plays an Indian guy who's parents are all highly successful in the medical field, and who always wanted to be a doctor but was too afraid to admit it to himself in fear of being stereotyped. It would be foolish to reject stereotypes, but at the same time those things do not define who we are. I enjoy martial arts and loves studying about them and take what I learn on a spiritual level, and it's indeed a stereotype and a major part of me, but it doesn't define who I am.
why is it foolish to reject stereotypes? Maybe I don't know all of the stereotypes for blacks or hispanics, but as far as the ones I do know about, I don't fit into any of either racial stereotype. and it's cool that you enjoy martial arts and such, but do you really think you enjoy them BECAUSE of the stereotype or because you're asian? I know you said it doesn't define who you are, but does it factor in at all? Or rather, Should it factor in at all?
If you claim to be a living example of you somehow "transcending" the label of race, you must've grown up in some fairy tale world, because apparently you've never had an event that's put things into perspective for you. You've never been racially slighted? Noone's ever called you a spic? Race is always a huge part of who you are. I don't give a crap where you are. If you have any access to media you're always bombarded by it.
I don't think I ever used the word "transending", it seems to have an "I'm above it all and everyone relating to it" connotation to it. if you're curious yes, I have been racially slighted, but only since I've left the hispanic environment I lived in, and even then, Never for being hispanic. because I have no accent and because of my dark skin, No, I have never been called a spic. A n****r, yes, a spic, no. Race, in my opinion has no bearing on WHO you are, just what you look like. Also, what the media bombards me with is somehting else I can chose to ignore, after all, we're also constantly being bombarded with violence and sex, but that doesn't mean it has to affect you negatively.

I've met Asian girls who've deliberated castrated themselves from other Asian kids and exclusively dated white guys and hung out with white kids, but they were still running away and their race was still a motivating impact in their lives - because their whole life was spent separating themselves from it. It will be there no matter what, and no matter what, a little bit of that legacy will be in it.
deliberately avoiding your own people is silly, especially for just that one reason, this seems to me like a personal problem for the girl(s) you are talking about. but just to play devil's advocate, Is there a specific number of people of your race you're supposed to be around to be yourself? How many white friends can a blakc guy have before he's running away from his culture? If there is a number, I'd like to know it, I might need to make a few more friends. -_^
That isn't playing Devil's Advocate. That's called opening up a new subject of discussion and trying very unsuccessfully to link it to the original point.

My point: I have met girls who deliberately do anything they can to get away from Asian culture of any kind. They love art from all parts of the world EXCEPT Asia. They see all Asian men, no matter how big or jacked, as effeminate and unmanly. They see all Asians as shallow and loud.

Your point: How many friends does someone need to have of his own race to not be considered a member of that race?

Uhh.. How do you draw that as a correlation to my own point as playing Devil's Advocate?
my apologies, perhaps I used the term incorrectly. What I meant by "devil's advocate" was "I'm just going to argue against this just for the sake of my own entertainment."

That was not my point, it was just for the sake of my own entertainment, it was just a thought that popped into my head as I read your posts. I thought the winky anime face convayed that, but I guess I was wrong, My apologies.
If you're trying to suggest I consider people who associate with mostly with people outside of their race as cultural pariahs, that was pretty dumb of you. And a bad cheapshot. In high school most of my friends were Chinese and Indian, simply because I didn't get along with the Koreans in my high school. Now in college I have a big mix of friends, mostly cause it's art school and it's easy to find something to talk about. At my church all my friends are Korean.
Well, I'm not trying to suggest that, but regardless I apologize for any offence that might have been misinterpreted by my words. What I stated was mearly my opinion on the girls in your example.
Don't pick your dates or friends by race. pick them because you like/love/are attracted to them.
And where did I say otherwise? Quote it for me. You keep finding arguments in my post that don't even exist.
I Didn't even suggest you said otherwise! I was just stating my point (About the ENTIRE thread, "Intterracial dating... your views?" ) with that statement. I thought i was clear, but as previously mentioned, I see that tone does not translate.
I'm saying race is always a factor in interracial dating, contrary to your opinion, and it does make a difference in the relationship. I didn't say people should go around dating and associating friendships by race, because you apparently think we're all the same color and culture and upbringing and this in no way affects how people interact with each other. You completely misunderstood me by assuming the way relationships turn out because of racial differences are bad, when the only thing I've asserted is that they simply turn out dating. Hence my original point to interracial dating simply being that - dating. It's not a good thing. It's not a bad thing. It's simply a thing.
and I'm sayig I disagree. it doesn't make a difference. I didn't say you said that either, and while I do not think we're all the same color, I do believe that we are the same race. The Human race. and I'm saying that while upgringing is a part of who you are, it doesn't have to be a part of it, nor does it have to affect the way you interract with other and I'm saying that your power of choice can change you into whatever you want to be, regardless of where you came from. but that's an opinion of mine. and I never disagreed with that point of yours, heck I didn't even quote it in my post.
that's it. That's not necesarily how things DO work, but it's how I think they should work. but then again, I'm an Idealist. I believe that There should be no more issues in interracial dating than in monoracial dating, heck, we should get rid of the labels once and for all.
What is it with you and thinking being different from each other is something that's to be shunned and eliminated? The only way to get rid of such labels was if we were the same.
not that I don't love the taste of words, but could you please stop putting them in my mouth? (that was a joke too, chillax)
I never said being different is something bad. heck, Differences is what I'm trying to encourage. "be yourself, because you are yourself, not because yoou're from X or look like you're from x" is what I try to convey.

I said labels like those should be removed, which I thought agreed with your point. Taking away the "Interracial" or the "monoracial" from the dating part, What do you get? Just as you said, "it's just dating". That fragment was meant to agree with your post, not argue against it.
now someone might say "you're just an idealist" or "that's not how things work in the real world". but the way I figure it, if that is the way the world works, then i've got it right. if it isn't the way the world works, the way for me to change the world is to belive in it myself. hurray for a world that's colorblind.
This is why idealists and romantics annoy me. No offense. But you don't realize what would happen if things turn out the way you think they should turn out to be in what seems like a perfect world.

A world that's colorblind still means it's a world that's black adn white.
well, that's just an expression, but black and white are colors too. -_^

just replying and trying to quell some of the tension I sensed from the post. no disrespect or anything intended.
Mythrel wrote:Well said Rupugus, I totally agree with you.

I think we worry to much about these ''cultural differences'' which I cannot say isn't an issue, but it is only if you make it. If you are really not willing to make compromises for cultural differences then you should not get involved with any relationship period, because you have to be willing to compromise for all relationships to work. You don't have to agree with everything they do just as you wouldn't expect them to understand your point of view all the time. You have to work through those differences and reach an agreement. Every relationship is going to have its hardships. Every relationship is going to have those silly arguements. There are always going to be issues plaguing every relationship. These cultural differences are not so big if you are willing to learn. I think we could benefit greatly with interracial relationships. If you sit down at listen to what someone from another race has to say you will quickly realize they are not so much different from yourself. You can become less ignorant that way and it seems to be what holds interracial relationships back. Ignorance will always exist sadly.
thank you! see? someone understands me. and those same cultural differences are a wonderfull thing! Theyshould be embraced, because they are an opportunity for personal growth not an "issue" to be dealt with in a relationship.

Edit: Spoiler tags added out of consideration for scrolling and length.
Last edited by Rupugus on Feb 11th, '06, 05:24, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by dEvIlDuDe » Feb 10th, '06, 20:21

nebody here actually read their long posts?? I don't well I juz glance at it...

It be better if they can keep a good point in 2-5 sentence then that be tight... Me got nothin so dont ask me... All I can say is I don't mind seein interracial daters, couples whatever you may call it...

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Post by albertoavena » Feb 10th, '06, 21:59

I actually did read all that long post and agree with everything. I really don't see the big deal with interracial dating. I mean, if anyone actually reads the bible here, it says that god made one race, which is the human race. I'm sick of seeing ignorance and stereotyping everywhere. In the media, in the streets. it's just a big joke to them. Everyone should just stop and see the person for who they are. We should still learn about each others culture as much as we can because culture is a beautiful thing.

Although we cannot stop ignorance, if everything works together, we can help by improving society and informing people about it and hopefully they will change they're way of thinking..
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Post by dEvIlDuDe » Feb 11th, '06, 02:00

^^^Very well put point...in a non-long post heh..you can be the next president!

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Post by bakan3ko » Feb 11th, '06, 02:19

Question. So far I heard stuff about hybrid vigor, love, idealism, and being fair. I mean that is all good and whatnot, and I'm sure you are all self respecting people. But, can anyone explain to me how that stuff above applies to actuality? So far, I've seen 9 out of 10 couples being a white guy with a minority girl. I mean there is more to it than just that and i know im simplifying it to death but you gotta wonder if this idealism is actually worth anything unless you are on the right side of the street. :scratch:

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Post by Mythrel » Feb 11th, '06, 05:46

Actuality? How are those examples of relationships not fact? Why would the examples of white mixing with other races not be a vaild example? Maybe I don't get the context of your question.
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Post by bakan3ko » Feb 11th, '06, 06:11

oh nvm. this is too tragic of a tale to tell or expound.

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Post by Mythrel » Feb 11th, '06, 14:09

Why won't you explain what you mean? The reason I wanted you to was because from your question and statement it makes it seem like you find a problem with it being white people as examples, but I don't think thats what you were really trying to say, or was it? If it what you ment than of course there are other mixes, if a tree falls in the forrest, does it still make a sound? (ok I know that was a lame saying, but just because something isn't said doesn't mean it isn't happening.) I have a feeling I took your original question and statement out of context and just wanted you to expand on it some more so I can get a better understanding of what you wanted answered.
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Post by babypanda99ss » Feb 14th, '06, 06:35

I'm jealous of mixed kids.. some are too good looking..
I wouldn't mind marrying someone of a different race.. just so my kids could be gorgeous.. haha but I think culture-wise I would prefer to marry someone my race.. just so we can speak chinglish =)

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Post by asian_grl » Feb 14th, '06, 06:55

If the couple is interracial, no one should disregard the relationship based on that fact. Race is immaterial as long as there are true feelings involved. Parents should get over the old fashioned ideal of marrying within the race.. especially asian parents.

Some ppl, like me, aren't racist, but are physically attracted to certain races. hmm.. that sounded a bit off topic... can't quite explain..

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Post by halalsushi » Feb 16th, '06, 04:24

I would marry a woman from a different ethnicity. However, I would prefer that she speak Japanese (or be willing to learn some) so my heritage could be preserved for future generations.

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Post by albertoavena » Feb 16th, '06, 06:32

I kind of feel the same way. Or, it could be the other way around. I would marry someone of different ethnicity and I may be the one who would have to learn her language and culture.
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Post by slowpepper » Feb 16th, '06, 07:05

see. these kind of topic always make people think and think thorougly.
i, however, am not a thinker and would like to be simple. :D

IT'S A TOTAL COOLIES! To be able to open towards a whole new side of the world is a great adventure. It's always great to be experiencing new things, new languages, live in a different world, eat new food (if you hadn't already ^^) and many other things which I can't think of right now. O_O.

Besides, it's just DATING for now. Nothing about marriage yet. I still will say COOLIES for marriage anyways. =]

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Post by marvelous » Feb 17th, '06, 08:16

I'm all for interracial dating. Dating yes... Marriage no...

You know people will always be split so people who are interracial dating are creating another race.

You guys are blind. There's racism everywhere. It's not going to change ever. People will always act same no matter what year this is. It's in our nature to hate anything different. You guys should really watch that movie "CRASH". You'll get a glimpse of people are really feeling deep inside.

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Post by Chidori-Chan » Feb 17th, '06, 08:29

i'm in an interracial marriage ^^ trying for kids now ^^ AHhhhhhhhhhh i want super kawaii ones...
just thinking of one boy is enough for me.... a super cutie like YUKI fr Fruits basket. ^^ haha

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Post by Néa Vanille » Feb 17th, '06, 08:34

Funny video on the topic: http://www.dumpalink.com/media/11396529 ... Less_Chick


'Asian guys got veeery SMALL.... confidence.' :lol

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Post by Rupugus » Feb 17th, '06, 09:26

marvelous wrote:I'm all for interracial dating. Dating yes... Marriage no...

You know people will always be split so people who are interracial dating are creating another race.

You guys are blind. There's racism everywhere. It's not going to change ever. People will always act same no matter what year this is. It's in our nature to hate anything different. You guys should really watch that movie "CRASH". You'll get a glimpse of people are really feeling deep inside.
asside from how racist the first statement is, and how insulting I find this post, I really don't feel like writing yet another million pages on this issue, someone else take this, please...

but anyway, netflix says there's at least 3 movies called "crash", 2 of them could easily fit the theme, so do you Mean Crash (1996) cor Crash(2005)? I never turn down a movie recomendation.
Néa Vanille wrote:Funny video on the topic: http://www.dumpalink.com/media/11396529 ... Less_Chick


'Asian guys got veeery SMALL.... confidence.' Laugh
"Dude I'm not being racist or anything."
"uh. yes you are"
LOL this thing is hilarious. if only it really worked like that... but if you ask me, the problem is exactly as one of the guys said "The reason the white guys are getting all of our girls is because it's firday night and we're in here playing DDR"
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Post by albertoavena » Feb 17th, '06, 17:20

Edit:oops, I didn't get it until I watched the video :lol
Last edited by albertoavena on Feb 18th, '06, 04:43, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by aNToK » Feb 17th, '06, 19:08

marvelous wrote:I'm all for interracial dating. Dating yes... Marriage no...

You know people will always be split so people who are interracial dating are creating another race.

You guys are blind. There's racism everywhere. It's not going to change ever. People will always act same no matter what year this is. It's in our nature to hate anything different. You guys should really watch that movie "CRASH". You'll get a glimpse of people are really feeling deep inside.
Dating yes, marriage no? So other races are good enough to f***, but not good enough to marry? Not racist my ass. You are either a racist who wants to play with "forbidden fruit" or someone who actually likes other races but is too much of a p***y to deal with any criticism that might come your way. A racist and a coward. That's you sparky.

And no, not everyone is blind. There were racist assholes since there have been different races, and there will be racist assholes whenever judgement day gets around to arriving. You sound exactly like the KKK with their new "God made different races, and they're beautiful, and it's a sin to f*** up God's plan by mixing them" crap. There are also just as many people (I'd venture a whole lot more) who don't have a problem with race or anyone else's choice of a mate with regards to race. Who would you side with, the Klan or a progressive society? (And I use the Klan as an example as they're the most visible example on the White side that I'm most familiar with. There's plenty of bigots of all colors.) So what????

A seperatist or a wuss, which one are you? Probably both.

If we're creating new races by mixing, then be sure that that new race is a marathon and it will be around for a long, long while. Get used to it.

And getting "how people really feel" from a movie? Try interacting with real people to see how they really feel. If you're a trustworthy person, you will be trusted with their thoughts and feelings. If your mind is closed, their true thoughts will be closed to you as well.

Idiot.
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Post by luith » Feb 17th, '06, 19:27

I am a product of interracial marriage, so of course I see nothing wrong with it.
Most people are saying that they are worried most about what the in-laws think when getting married to someone of a different race? Sounds like Romeo and Juliet to me.
My grandparents from both sides (Japanese and Romanian) are fine with the combination, although I heard that at first my Japanese grandparents were a little shocked :D Neither side could speak their first-language, so everyone resorted to communicating in english. I think it's sweet.
Has anyone seen Olivia? I think she is so beautiful :wub:

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Post by Jinusean » Feb 17th, '06, 19:34

I'm a Korean-American who grew up in the Cultural melting pot of Los Angeles, California and rather than being in an exclusive korean clique of friends I made friends with all people regardless of race. I had a chance to talk to many different non-asian guys on the topic of dating asian girls and their answers were disgusting, I wanted to punch their face out. They'd make comments like, "Man I like asian girls." When I ask them why? Almost all of them responded along the lines of " I want to see how tight it is. Damn, I really want to try one." Some of them form some sort of perverted smile on their face when replying.

Bottom line, I'll bless any relationship founded on love regardless of race but you asian girls need to be more careful because there are so many non-asian guys who are much more desperate in wanting to try -you-, an asian girl, out for fcking's sake.

Good thing most korean girls are exclusive to koreans only.

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Post by pokute » Feb 17th, '06, 19:35

While I agree 100% with aNToK, I find this entire thread alarming. It reminds me of the chapter in Dog Years, by Gunter Grass, where the children put on the special glasses that allow them to see their parents the way they were during the Nazi regime... there's a kind of morbid fascination in seeing what a load of f***ed up racists there are on D-Addicts, but I don't really need to have an entire thread devoted to exposing it. It makes me think about it when I go to Chinatown, Little Tokyo, and Koreatown... I wonder, since out of the relatively enlightened group at D-A there are so many racist nutjobs, there must be a regular army of half-wits wandering around the C,J,K-towns, basking in the ethnic homogeneity while I'm just looking for a good place to eat, right? Scary.

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Post by jianwa » Feb 17th, '06, 19:44

I prefer dating Asians only. I like culture to be a bit similar instead of being totally different.

Preference order

1) Chinese
1a) Mandarin Chinese
1b) Cantonese Chinese
1c) ABC or other Chinese (A bit mixed might be ok)

2) Japanese
3) Korean

I just find asians to be hotter than others. Also its a bit easier to find a match, when your kid is having some health issues and all relatives from both side of gene can't help save the childs life.

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Post by Mythrel » Feb 17th, '06, 20:16

marvelous wrote:I'm all for interracial dating. Dating yes... Marriage no...

You know people will always be split so people who are interracial dating are creating another race.

You guys are blind. There's racism everywhere. It's not going to change ever. People will always act same no matter what year this is. It's in our nature to hate anything different. You guys should really watch that movie "CRASH". You'll get a glimpse of people are really feeling deep inside.
So Hollywood is where we should all go and learn about TRUE life, riiiight. Oh I see its because we are blind!! So by us opening our minds to the possiblity of falling in love with someone who doesn't share the same skin colour than us and we are the blind ones. Are your eyes even open? Racism is everywhere because there are people like yourself who share ignorance towards others. Its not in our nature to reject reality, maybe yours. Humans do have two basic instints. Mating and eating, and no I don't see skin colour in there. That is something you make a judgement of and make an opinion on. I know this is your opinion and we are all intitled to them just expect some of them to bite you on the butt. Racism will always exist, but thats ok because public opinion is changing constantly. One thing we are capable of, is changing. There are now people of all races and backgrounds on TV these days and so even the couch potato generation has an acceptance of other cultures because they can make judgements for themselves. The world is becoming less ignorant and I can accept racism existing, once you accept that you can move on. We are no longer stuck in a world where everything is taught from your father who was taught by his father who was.. well you get the idea. We can actually open our eyes ourselves and make our own opinions. Its sad you are unwilling to experience something unique.



Hi Rupugus :cheers:, its the 2005 movie and it was pretty good. Except I don't think he understood the point of that movie :lol its kind of ironic actually :X Oh a good movie I seen is 'Hustle and Flow' and 'Kiss Kiss Bang Bang' while we are on movie recommendations XD oh and 'Munich' was a good movie just gritty-gory, but done realisticly(there were no bond's doing headshots from 100m out while flipping, sipping on a soda, calling a friend....ect). Its really interesting to see what happened (I haven't actually done research on the movie yet so I can't say for sure if it was all real (you know how hollywood is XD)), but it all seemed plausable.
Last edited by Mythrel on Feb 17th, '06, 21:14, edited 2 times in total.
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Post by SunStar » Feb 17th, '06, 20:31

hm... i don't think it's a bad thing at all... but i would prefer dating someone who is asian like me... because my family will be more accepting of it...

i don't mind what nationality he is... at least i like him and he likes me back...
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Post by ironicwave » Feb 17th, '06, 20:32

lol, that looks like a shopping list... :whistling:

my mother met my african-american stepfather when i was 8 years old...
i'd never been confronted with racism nor necessarily with a lot of different cultures at this point, accepting him as a member of the family was never a problem for me...
i did of course notice our family getting "those looks" when we'd go out to a restaurant to eat, but i didn't really understand what that was all about...
it's impossible for me to judge people based on their ethnicity, i just wasn't raised that way and my stepdad entering my life and the two half-sisters that eventually came along are a blessing to me...
it's hard enough to find someone who suits you well in a relationship without adding minus points for not being of the "correct race"...
of course i understand if people prefer certain types, but i doubt they would kick a perfectly adorable, well-suiting person to the curb for this reason alone...
if they did undermine their own happiness in this way though, that would be very sad...

it's certainly true that unless all parties involved (in-laws and the like) are openminded, interracial relationships can encounter a few more bumps along the road than others, but if it's love, isn't it worth it?

i see interracial relationships as enriching and wouldn't mind learning another language in the process... i understand the need people have for preserving their heritage, as long as both backgrounds are cherished though, where's the problem in that?

so anyone inclined towards an interracial relationship... even if it can be hard, i think you're blessed...
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Post by HyungKe » Feb 17th, '06, 20:47

marvelous wrote:I'm all for interracial dating. Dating yes... Marriage no...
You sir, are a dick. A racist dick even. Pardon my French but that just pisses me of.
I would sooo like to hear your logic behind that statement, so please amuse me.
marvelous wrote:You know people will always be split so people who are interracial dating are creating another race.
What the f*** are you talking about? How are people "split" just because they don't share the same skin colour?
You seem to have read a bit to much Nazi propaganda..
marvelous wrote:You guys are blind. There's racism everywhere. It's not going to change ever. People will always act same no matter what year this is. It's in our nature to hate anything different. You guys should really watch that movie "CRASH". You'll get a glimpse of people are really feeling deep inside.
Yes we're blind because we acctually belive the world is changing? I mean Germany was full of Nazi's in the '30-'40's, now that didn't change either, eh?
Please define "different", or perhaps you use Himmler's defenition?
God, I wonder if those are really you're words or if you just copied some KKK propaganda. I mean are you really so dumb/ignorant that you really belive that crap?

And yeah, how great a Hollywood movie confirmed your view on reality. Well congrats :salut:

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Re: Interracial dating... your views?

Post by himenajima » Feb 17th, '06, 20:54

TIticamara wrote:
para~white wrote:I was just wondering what you think about interracial dating?

Like an Australian male with a muslim female? :wub:
lol now thats an idea. id love an Australian male :wub:
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Post by pokute » Feb 17th, '06, 21:10

Jinusean wrote:Bottom line, I'll bless any relationship founded on love regardless of race but you asian girls need to be more careful because there are so many non-asian guys who are much more desperate in wanting to try -you-, an asian girl, out for fcking's sake.
An example of the "I'd date one but wouldn't marry one" from the other side of the fence. But I have seen this sort of thing turn out okay, actually... I know a guy who thought like this, and was so pleased with the result of the experience that he married the woman! They are one of the funniest and most honest couples that I know, and have been married for 12 years. Initially they had very little in common, so it was kind of a surprise to everybody, but now they share all of each other's interests enthusiastically. A wonderful example of how an inflexible mind can change!

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Post by whisperss_57 » Feb 17th, '06, 21:25

Néa Vanille wrote:Funny video on the topic: http://www.dumpalink.com/media/11396529 ... Less_Chick


'Asian guys got veeery SMALL.... confidence.' :lol
OMG I LOVED THIS XD its soo funny! and actually true XD poor asian guys.. includign my brother HAHAHAHA :mrgreen:
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Post by Lindus » Feb 17th, '06, 23:55

bugsie wrote:interracial dating is not an issue unless you are a racist.
aNToK wrote:I think interracial dating often produces very gorgeous kids.
speaking of kids, i haven't seen a black & yellow combination. and i wonder what they look like.
Well, you have Crystal Kay.. She's half Korean and half African-american I seem to recall.

With hopes people have a swell time,
/Lindus
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Post by Lindus » Feb 17th, '06, 23:56

CraZyaH wrote:well I'm not sure about other countries and races,but as an Arab,it's hard to even think about dating a non-Arab,let alone the colour,even tho Arabs don't care much about colours because we don't have a specific colour (expect for black arabs,they are not real arabs but considered as arabs but when it comes to marriage they are treated as non arabs),so it's like impossible for an arabian girl to date an asian or someone from any other race,that's just unacceptable in our sociaty..
however,we do have a few men who have had some asian,white,black wives..and I guess that's only a bit easy for guys,not girls..

anyway I'm with interracial dating,I just don't think it would be something I could do any day...
This is just pure hogwash. It is a matter of going against your expected behaviour in your present cultural environment. It all starts with do you dare to do something you really want instead of what you are expected to do by your peers, parents etc.

With hopes people have a fine time,
/Lindus
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Post by Lindus » Feb 17th, '06, 23:59

sook wrote:i don't have anything against interracial dating - but i do see the possible difficulties that may arise from say..interracial marriage.
i'm chinese and if i were to date a white guy - he probably won't share the same cultural values as me. we don't have the same traditions. so in that sense, it's just culturally easier to date a guy who understands why i celebrate cny or eat mooncake or stuff like that.
Ah, but if he doesn't want to learn about cny and mooncakes (yummy) then he's not the person you should be with to begin with. Your statement unfortunately reeks of stereotypes and a predisposition among too many that people are set in stone and never ever want to learn about new things or eat new things. This is, luckily for us all, not true and I am 1000% sure you'll be able to find someone who likes to know about all your cultulral quirks and would gladly share a multiyoke mooncake with you.

With hopes they all have a fun time,
/Lindus
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Post by Lindus » Feb 18th, '06, 00:09

Néa Vanille wrote:Another thing I had to say is that I really like the crowd here at d-addicts. So many positive comments about interracial dating isn't at all that usual..

I've been to asianfanatics and to soompi and I saw lots of 'AZNS W/ AZNS!!!' 'we asians rule keep our race pure!!!' 'i only date azn cuz my parents wud kick ma azz' comments, so many in fact that I'm now seriously turned off to those communities..

d-addicts, though.. seems to be a lot more tolerant place. There is even a threat about same-sex love, I'm really impressed by d-addicts' high-standards.

:wub:
Well, it also seems like most of us can spell much better :mrgreen: :lol

With hopes a fabulous time is had,
/Lindus
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Post by 2triky » Feb 18th, '06, 00:14

i'm all for interracial hookups

here's a pic of brian peppers...half human/ half alien



[img]http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y269/2 ... ebrity.jpg[/img]
[img]http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y269/2 ... rs2045.jpg[/img]
[img]http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y269/2triky/bp33.jpg[/img]

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Post by pokute » Feb 18th, '06, 00:20

Uh... anyway...

aNToK, you've never seen any black/yellow people?! Jamaica had a large immigrant Chinese population and there's tons of black/yellow people from Jamaica - there was a girl in my high school that was a total knockout, and my friend Lee is pretty darn good-looking, enough so that he married a beautiful Irish girl with red hair and brilliant green eyes!!

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Post by 2triky » Feb 18th, '06, 00:21

pokute wrote:Uh... anyway...!
chill...

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Post by Lindus » Feb 18th, '06, 00:36

expo1970 wrote:wow, I didn't expect everyone to hate my comment so much (i was actually expecting someone else to then be able to gather up their courage to say their point of view against interracial relations, but i guess with the reaction people had to my post, that's impossible)
Hey, you're on d-addicts, a site with people who likes multiple cultural soaps and dramas, what did you expect? :roll
expo1970 wrote:however, I will defend my post. I will reiterate my point first: there are rational reasons for being against interracial relations.
Nope, in my book there are no "rational" reasons against interracial relationships, only irrational reasons based on prejudice.
expo1970 wrote:The "pure race" idea doesn't really hold in my mind but I guess you can make that argument. But, there is a similar argument that I do agree with. Consider a child who has to grow up in a world that still doesn't fully accept halfs. This is a very difficult thing to have to deal with. You may be picked on as a child and eventually develop a complex. Now, not all halfs does this happen to, obviously. But as a parent, would you want to have to risk your child suffering through this pain his entire life because of his parents' selfishness? Then again, this is only valid point if you assume your interracial relationship leads to having children, but in an ideal relation, that's where you're headed right?
Ok, if the "world" doesn't still accept "halfs" that as far as I am concerned says something about that society. It is then filled with a bunch of bigoted, prejudiced ignorants. However, I sincerely hope there are also people in this "world" who are willing to try to understand the other side of the issue, and maybe even realize that their old ignorant ways are plainly morally wrong.
When it comes to the child it is then imperative that it sees its parents always always always stand up and tell these idiots that they are wrong. That they are ignorant and that they should learn about how to accept other people. It has nothing to do with selfishness, it has to do with enlightenment. If the parents realize that they do not want to be ignorant, they do not want to be conformists but they want to be able to love the person they love it is in no way shape or form egotistical.
expo1970 wrote:Well, against, going along with the same assumption about having children, consider growing up without having a country that you can call home. Being half, you must forever be torn between two countries neither of which may be willing to accept you. Recently, there was an article in TIME that said that there are record numbers of Asian Americans today. Asian Americans must suffer the fact that they don't look American (so they do not fit in in America) and they cannot speak the language of their ancestors so they can definitely not be accepted there. It is a very VERY lonely feeling not having a country to belong to. Identity crisis is a big buzz word these days.
What's so great with identifying ONE place as home? I personally as a displaced person does not feel at home neither where I am right now nor where I am from. I don't think I ever did. On the other hand I am a person who is open to new challenges, flexible when it comes to issues and love to try new things, be it food, activities or languages. "Wherever I lay my hat, that's my home" :) If someone is so hung up on wanting to identify with only ONE place I personally think this person is missing out on so much more.
expo1970 wrote:I have many friends who say that they can never have a serious relation (meaning marry) with someone who is not the same nationality as them. They are not against all interracial marriage, but they personally would not marry someone of a different race. Their reasoning is that it's just not realistically possible. Differences in cultures and living habits, no matter how much love there may be, cannot be overcome if they are too extreme. I have Japanese friends that say they could not live a day without eating rice at least in one meal. This means that their significant other must live with having rice being cooked every day (and considering the fact that rice can't be made in small amounts this could develop into a serious problem). This is just a very simple simple example. Food in general is a very difficult border.
Wait, are we talking nationality or race here? I have met people who think they only would want to marry Chinese but when learning/meeting people from other parts of the world they realize how wrong they were in their initial outset. To just say that it's ok for others but not for them is limiting to themselves. Who knows, maybe their "soul-mate" just happens to be from Europe and not in Japan och Viet-Nahm? And just because of this they won't marry them. When it comes to food it is imperative that both parties are willing to partake in the other cultures food. I can see that if someone is hung up on only eating rice and NEVER potatoes it could be a problem, but, as has been said before, with a small rice cooker this is no longer any problem at all. Wash rice, cook rice and *ping* it is available to eat :)

expo1970 wrote:I can give many many more reasons for why an individual may be against interracial relations but the simple explanation is this: why have borders between nations, why have countries at all? In English, a phrase that I really like is "good fences make good neighbors." Well, if you expand that in a humorous way, you can say, "don't marry your neighbor." It's a little ridiculous but kind of captures what i mean.... not really but it's funny.
This is one of my questions too. Why have borders at all... If it were up to me there wouldn't be any. However there is this thing about universal health-care, taxes and who decides what will be done when and where which is usually what the governments are supposed to (unless they are corrupted by special interests as all too often happens).
expo1970 wrote:Having different countries and different nationalities stay away from each other is sometimes the best way to maintain good relations. People can of course compromise and overcome differences, but that means both sides need to give up something. You can easily argue that the thing you're giving up is much MUCH more significant that what you gain.
So what you're saying is it is more important to act in a selfish manner than compromise with your neighbour as giving up ANYTHING is much MUCH more troublesome than act in a civilized and tolerant manner? With this statement I think you have made many people look at you with scorn.
expo1970 wrote:note: i mostly argued against interracial marriages because if your interracial relation is serious, you're expecting to get married eventually. if not, then that's not a serious relation and i would argue it doesn't matter who you date with if its not serious.
Wait, so interracial relationships are ok if you are serious and will get married? But, but, wasn't this selfish (see your own comments above) and especially so if you spawn...

With hopes people are all tolerant and never ignorant,
/Lindus
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Post by Romance » Feb 18th, '06, 00:39

some stupid racists in this thread i would like to knock down and take a piss on
Anyway, saw that "movie" posted above.
Why white girls dont (these stupid generalizations) go for asians or dream about them like many whities do with japanaese girls - is because their are misunderstood, ask any mainstream whitie and they wont think higly. It isnt because they are labeled yellow altough they got the same tan as most whities, or their penises are shorter altough statistics shows that they got the same avarage (when it anyway is so invidual), neither isnt because of their body hair. Its just the way that they are represented.

I will put this really short.

If kimura takuya would been half american, and succeeded acting in usa, he would get millions of billions of white fangirls.

thats it.

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Post by Néa Vanille » Feb 18th, '06, 00:44

To be honest, I can see why many people have same-race preferences. Having grown up in an almost exclusively white country and only having had white friends, white is just what my friends are used to and the first reaction to something totally different is either a fascination of said difference or outright rejection. If I hadn't gotten interested in Asian culture through video games at a very young age, I probably wouldn't be dating mostly Asian guys these days. As for Americans, I would imagine that, since most people grow up with parents of the same race, this will be what they will initially think of as 'normal' and as what is expected of them to pursue. I seem to recall many Americans telling me they had crushes on kids of other races in kindergarten but they started preferring their own race after getting older and getting more aware of 'cultural norms'.

Of course it's quite sad. These people are missing out on how wonderful it is to learn another language and culture!

*huggles Japanese boyfriend*

Edit: as a 'white girl' who dates Asian, I didn't mean to offend anyone by posting this video. I don't believe in any of the stereotypes discussed in it. I just thought it was sort of cute and funny. Plus, Phil Wong is a real cutie. By the way, from what my friends tell me - hairy arms is generally NOT thought of as attractive. :mrgreen:

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Post by Rupugus » Feb 18th, '06, 00:52

albertoavena wrote:DDR? So your saying people who play should get a life? I play DDR...I'm not white though..
nope, what I said is that while you're at home playing DR you're not out meeting new people. I play ddr as well, and am also not white, or asian.
Mythrel wrote: Hi Rupugus :cheers:, its the 2005 movie and it was pretty good. Except I don't think he understood the point of that movie :lol its kind of ironic actually :X Oh a good movie I seen is 'Hustle and Flow' and 'Kiss Kiss Bang Bang' while we are on movie recommendations XD oh and 'Munich' was a good movie just gritty-gory, but done realisticly(there were no bond's doing headshots from 100m out while flipping, sipping on a soda, calling a friend....ect). Its really interesting to see what happened (I haven't actually done research on the movie yet so I can't say for sure if it was all real (you know how hollywood is XD)), but it all seemed plausable.
You just populated my netflix list, thanks a bunch! I usually just use it for licenced anime that is hard to download. So I can stay all legal or something.
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Post by Lindus » Feb 18th, '06, 00:54

expo1970 wrote:okay.... maybe my english isn't very good so people keep missing the big point i'm trying to make.
Well, your grammatical constructs does leave much to be wished for at times... :)

expo1970 wrote:i KNOW there are successful interracial marriages. i have many friends who are halfs. i have lots of friends who are envious of these halfs because they are so attractive (then again, there are ugly ones, just like regular people).
So... you have friends who are "halfs" (horrible way of calling them btw) that you because of this would never consider as a possible mate due to this I assume. And when it comes to attractiveness, it is all in the minds eye. A woman can be fugly to someone while she is beautiful to someone else. I personally don't like Zhang Ziyi as she is far too conniving looking for my taste, but criteria of beauty is most of the time a personal trait.
expo1970 wrote:what i'm trying to say is, DO YOU WANT TO TAKE THAT RISK WITH YOUR CHILD? do you want to chance your child developing problems having no place to call home or people who are unwilling to accept them?
This I answer with a resounding YES!!! If some people refuse to accept my offspring just because they're not "pure" (whatever that means in this instance) they're not people I want the offspring to know anyway. Well, unless they would be coerced into using the gray mush between their ears and start to look at alternative views and not just one. And to me it is more important that the family unit is stable and the home environment is somewhat stable so the offspring doesn't feel insecure as a secure person will ignore whatever adversity it might experience, and if it has support from home, other friends or relatives, then whatever the rest of society says or does has no relevance or impact.
expo1970 wrote:this isn't a good reason to avoid interracial marriages? in an ideal world YES, this is a terrible reason to avoid interracial marriages. if you're an idealist you would think we have a responsibility to change the world. but do you want to make your child suffer in order to change the world? if you were actually put in that position could you REALLY do it?
A child need not suffer. It seems like your selfesteem has got some sort of complex where it is imperative to be one/conform with the world around you and it is unconceivable that if someone is being different or in some way breaks off from the common norm can be healthy. Very odd view I must say. And to answer your question, YES! I would make my child "suffer" to change the world. If it by its example can make others realize how wrong they have been I will make it "suffer" by being different. It is up to you as a parent to be a rolemodel and support it in all ways possible so it will not "suffer" in the end.
expo1970 wrote:i went to an international school where everyone was either a half or full but lived in a foreign country too long they could not attend regular schools. many of them are happy. but mostly, they can only be happy amongst themselves, people who have the same experience of being half or not having a home.
Well, it seems like your school sucked! Even though you spent so much time with other people of different races and interracials it still didn't dawn on you that there is nothing wrong with interracial relationships. Either that or you were truant when they taught morals and ethics.
expo1970 wrote:AGAIN, i reiterate. halfs can be happy. but do you want to take that risk with your own child? do you want to take the risk that your child will always feel like they have no place where they belong?
"Halfs" can be happy... Sounds like you're talking about cattle :) Anyway, see my comments about to answer this preposterously stupid statement.
expo1970 wrote:finally, i'm not pushing my views upon anyone. i'd just like people to understand that there are many people who think like me and we're not hurting anyone by having these opinions. i'm just not an idealist when it comes to risking my child's future. i'd be willing to sacrifice my life for causes but not others. also, if you have the will and strength to MAKE it work, YOU CAN. i just don't think i'm that strong of a person. just please don't scorn people who aren't strong like me.
Well, you're entitled to your opinion as well as we are to ours. However, I hope for your sake you will realize that being tolerant and not only look at race or nationality as primary preferences when it comes to finding a mate for life will lead to a much more successful relationship.

With hopes a most pleasant time is had by all,
/Lindus
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Post by Lindus » Feb 18th, '06, 00:59

Néa Vanille wrote:I somewhat agree that being mixed can be alienating, but, like many things, it's a two-way street. You are just as likely to embrace both cultures with your full heart and be eternally grateful that, unlike other children you know, you get to CHOOSE which country, which identity you want to identify yourself. You have the chance to grow up as a culturally well-rounded person, you have access to different mindsets from the very start and can choose the one that fits you best. All intelligent children can only profit from this.
OR you don't have to choose at all. You can be both american, swedish, japanese or chinese if you want to. And you'll find fun things with all cultures as they all have fine and great things connected to them.
Néa Vanille wrote:Also, in America today, where so many people are mixed or otherwise non-white, there will always be sites like d-addicts where people of the same descent (I think most people here are Asian-Americans) can celebrate their own origins together without alienating them from their new American self.
Well, I am "pure white" but I love this community as it is full of new things to experience and learn from.
Néa Vanille wrote:It can be most fulfilling as well.
It sure can :)

Néa Vanille wrote:Not to mention the fact that Asian women who have white blood are a lot more likely to become models/porn stars/you name it, because the mixed look is very much the ideal in Asia these days. This is why all the people we see in dramas have double eyelids and high noses. Likewise, the Asian look is considered very attractive in Europe and America alike. You can only do your kid a favour by giving it a look that will appeal to other people.
Right, by some strange reason especially double eyelids and highnoses are very much popular among asians. Not to mention none black hair. I read somewhere that when a filmdirector were looking for extras for a period piece he had to outfit most of the women with wigs as their hair was not the "traditional" black straight hair :)

With hopes multiculturalism will rule,
/Lindus
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Post by bakan3ko » Feb 18th, '06, 01:13

:-(

can i just add this. i know people here are good kindly people, but you dont represent the larger population. and, i applaud you for it.

what i wanted to say is that "people will believe what they want to believe". and, this applies to both sides. also, i think you guys are confusing different topics and using rationales for one topic in another... sorta hard to follow arguments. HA!

that said. i didnt explain myself in any which way at all. :scratch:

and, if you got that quote/reference; you are extremely cool in my book (2 pages of doodles). :cheers:

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Post by Néa Vanille » Feb 18th, '06, 01:19

Well, it's to be expected that we on D-A are the super-cool front of the population. :lol After all, most people I know refuse to watch shows in foreign languages. They apparently can't read. :mrgreen:

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Post by callmesue » Feb 18th, '06, 03:33

I just skimmed through this topic but I wanted to add my 2 cents.

I understand that you don't exactly have to be a racist to be against interracial dating/marriage, but I don't understand any of the valid arguments presented to justify your reasons.

I think the whole point about a half child being lonley and lost in this world because of their identification has other alternatives. For example, some children wouldn't feel lost if they grew up in one of their homeland (and their apperance isn't a problem) and spoke the language. Of course that's not how it always works out but that doesn't mean the child ALWAYS 100% feels lost because they just don't belong ANYWHERE in this world. I know racism exists and I know discrimination exists but most of the half kids I know do not suffer but rather enjoy the fact that they are exposed to more than one culture.

And the point about two cultures being too different? That can also have an alternative too. I'm Korean but I grew up in America and even though I was born in Korea and spent a lot of years there, I'm what you call...uh.."white washed" (that's what my brother calls me anyway) so I can live without eating rice. Actually, I hate Korean food and if I had the choice, I wouldn't eat it at all. I can't speak Korean fluently (sad considering it's my first language) and I'm no longer exposed to any of the Korean culture except for these dramas. The only thing that seperates me from a white girl is my appearance, meaning I wouldn't have any difficulties with the cultural area of our relationship. And again, I know this is only one scenario but if we (me & my significant other) were to be culturally different, I think I would enjoy the fact that I'm experiencing more than one culture.

I find it kind of sad that you would give up because you can't cope with the difficulties. If you're willing to give up the person you love, I think that just means that your love isn't strong enough...or maybe it's not love at all. When you're in love it means you can overcome the obstacles, no matter what those are.

And the last time I checked, being in love wasn't being self-centered.

Also I wanted to add..
well I'm not sure about other countries and races,but as an Arab,it's hard to even think about dating a non-Arab,let alone the colour, so it's like impossible for an arabian girl to date an asian or someone from any other race,that's just unacceptable in our sociaty..
Sorry if this comes across to whoever wrote this as rude, but instead of thinking what your parents or your society thinks, why not think for yourself? Get your own perspectives on things and your own views. If I agreed with any of my parent's views, not only would I be against interracial dating, I would also be a racist and homophobic. When I was in 5th grade, my mom told me that Chinese, Japanese, and (white) Americans were the only races that were "acceptable" for me to marry. I grew up thinking that those three races were superior than all the others...and that's not right. No matter what my parents or the society says.

This is just my opinion, attack if you wish. :)

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Post by penpen23 » Feb 18th, '06, 04:33

Thought I'd throw my two cents in on this. I'm white, and live in Texas. I believe it's safe to say that I live in an environment extremely hostile to mixed people (Especially black/white). By that same coin, I have a cousin who has three children by a black man. I see black and white couples in stores, with their mulatto children. I don't see anything wrong with that. No one sets them on fire, or burns down their houses, or tar and feather them. Some of the older, more bigoted people might shun them to a lesser degree, but for the most part, people don't care.

In many societies, mixed children are extremely popular in the media (Japan). Crystal Kay and Sawajiri Erika, just to name two out of many. Having a reactionary attitude towards a mixed relationship ("Oh, what if our kids are lonely or don't feel they belong somewhere or what if people shun them") perpetuates that exact same reaction and response. Any parent who did their job would ensure that a child did not lack a sense of connection, or belonging, and being shunned by people because of your racial heritage, at least in modern industrial society, is by and large a thing of the past.

Racial purity arguments, especially among the asian populations, are a joke. The amount of inbreeding and integration and racial shifting that has occured throughout Asia over the past 3000 years is astronomical. The rest of the world is the same way. None of us are 'purebred' anything. And besides, a 'racial purity' argument is equitable with racism. An excellent example would be Nazi Germany. If modern society is not willing to challenge these preconcieved notions, and change, then how will we advance?

The most important thing to consider in any relationship, whether it be mixed races, same race, same sex, different sex, whatever, is this: Do you love them? Robert Heinlein defined love as "When the happiness of another is essential to your own." And isn't that what life is all about, really? You can't take your money with you, you can't prove that heaven is there, and you can't really change anyone's mind but your own. So what is there to live for, but happiness? Isn't that the end goal behind all of the things we do? Why do we try to live a good life, and get into heaven? Because it would be a happy place, as opposed to hell (insert your own religious beliefs here). Why do we like to prosper in business, and have a comfortable living? Because we want to be happy. EVERYTHING we do, whether you realize it or not, is directly related to Happiness as the ultimate goal. Love is happiness. Loving your children, and your wife, and your fellow man. Why should it matter what color their skin is, or who their parents were. Judge that person for WHO they are, not WHAT they are. That is the only thing you can do, as a decent human being. Anything else is not only ignorant, it shows the depth of your own character: shallow.

So do yourself a favor, and sit back and think about why you believe what you do. Try and look at it from the other side. And instead of being repulsed or turned away or trying to think of why this is wrong, try to understand. Try to think how it is RIGHT.

Try to see the Love, and the Happiness, in everything and everyone. It will make you a better person.

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Post by senakun » Feb 18th, '06, 04:37

No, I don't mind dating Ito Misaki-chan :wub:


*sigh...* not at all...... :heart:


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Post by bakan3ko » Feb 18th, '06, 04:47

wait. hold up a minute. let's not bring Nazi germany into the picture. that wasnt just racial purity; it was racial domination and eradication. I dont think anyone against interracial relationships/marriage is for that. and, i dont really think they are for racial purity either. i think they are for something else that they cannot properly expound for some reason.

comparing other people here with other opinions to Nazi germany is just wrong i think. :crazy:

ps. itoh mizaki isnt that great! HA! :w00t:

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Post by Néa Vanille » Feb 18th, '06, 05:06

Itoh really isn't that hot. She's way too skinny. Tall and skinny isn't a good combination, it looks a bit boyish. Petite is better. All the other women in Densha Otoko were hotter than Itoh, Satou Eriko and Horikita Maki for example. Iwasa Mayuko (the girl who tricked guitar otoko) and Sonim (the Korean hostess) from the Special were mad-hot as well, in my humble opinion. :wub:

I think many just like Itoh Misaki because she's some sort of otaku-darling now. :-)

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Post by marvelous » Feb 18th, '06, 08:44

aNToK

Dating yes, marriage no? So other races are good enough to f***, but not good enough to marry? Not racist my ass. You are either a racist who wants to play with "forbidden fruit" or someone who actually likes other races but is too much of a p***y to deal with any criticism that might come your way. A racist and a coward. That's you sparky.

And no, not everyone is blind. There were racist assholes since there have been different races, and there will be racist assholes whenever judgement day gets around to arriving. You sound exactly like the KKK with their new "God made different races, and they're beautiful, and it's a sin to f*** up God's plan by mixing them" crap. There are also just as many people (I'd venture a whole lot more) who don't have a problem with race or anyone else's choice of a mate with regards to race. Who would you side with, the Klan or a progressive society? (And I use the Klan as an example as they're the most visible example on the White side that I'm most familiar with. There's plenty of bigots of all colors.) So what????


That's just my preference. Mess around when you are young but when you get older you tend to stick to your own. I don't know exactly how old you are but I have been there and done that. I'm not trying to offend anybody but that's just how I feel. If you want to date and marry that's your preference and I could care less. I have dated other races before and personally I can't really relate to lot of them. It maybe because of culture differences but seriously I would really have to love them to live rest of my life with. With my own I know what to expect and have much better chemistry.

If you seriously think we live in this wonderful world where race isn't an issue you are wrong. I used to think like you when I was younger. But after all the hate I got from this world I have my doubts. I'm a minority in this country. Whether you like it or not, I will never excel as much as a white person would. I can never win a presidential election and I can't jump into a real high end paying job like white people. I can make low to medium salary or I can go into business for my own. That is all I can do far as this America goes.

If race wasn't an issue why is that there hasn't been any other president than white president? I would really like to see a spanish, asian, or black president. Why is it that when I watch American Idol they always pick the cute white girl or guy? Please tell me since you are so smart.

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Post by Néa Vanille » Feb 18th, '06, 09:01

It's ridiculous to ask for a non-white president when 70% of America is white. The president is supposed to resemble the majority and follow the interests of said majority, right? That's like saying South Africa should have a white president or Germany should have a Turkish president.

White Americans, like ALL other people in the world, have same-race preferences. I think no one here is saying that same-race preferences (in dating as well as social circles, work relations etc) are *not* the norm. I think what most people are trying to say is merely that you don't have to conform to what is culturally expected of you in order to become happy and that love CAN, in fact, be colourblind and very beneficial. We're moving into a time and age in which mixing is becoming a part of our vastly progressing society and in which being totally against it is kind of backwards.

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Post by marvelous » Feb 18th, '06, 09:17

Race in present time is still an issue whether you like it or not.

Did anybody get assimilated here? Can you tell me that wasn't race related?

I like this country as much as the next guy because of opportunities/freedom but I had to live a nightmare for 8 years because of these older white generations who run this country. When in fact I was trying to fit into American society.

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Post by aNToK » Feb 18th, '06, 09:39

marvelous wrote:
That's just my preference. Mess around when you are young but when you get older you tend to stick to your own. I don't know exactly how old you are but I have been there and done that. I'm not trying to offend anybody but that's just how I feel. If you want to date and marry that's your preference and I could care less. I have dated other races before and personally I can't really relate to lot of them. It maybe because of culture differences but seriously I would really have to love them to live rest of my life with. With my own I know what to expect and have much better chemistry.

If you seriously think we live in this wonderful world where race isn't an issue you are wrong. I used to think like you when I was younger. But after all the hate I got from this world I have my doubts. I'm a minority in this country. Whether you like it or not, I will never excel as much as a white person would. I can never win a presidential election and I can't jump into a real high end paying job like white people. I can make low to medium salary or I can go into business for my own. That is all I can do far as this America goes.

If race wasn't an issue why is that there hasn't been any other president than white president? I would really like to see a spanish, asian, or black president. Why is it that when I watch American Idol they always pick the cute white girl or guy? Please tell me since you are so smart.
OK Sparky, One thing to know is that I'm not one that you wish to play the experience card on (or lack thereof). For the record, I'm in my 30's. I've lived in Japan, California, Montana, Louisiana, Colorado, and have spent significant time all over America. I found myself at a KKK meeting in Mississippi and almost got killed for standing up and calling bullshit on all their racist attitudes to their faces (and a few hoods). I was kicking back drinking beers with my multiracial friends at the top of a building across from City Hall in Shreveport, LA watching David Duke campaign for Congress. I've been shot at for being in the wrong neighborhood with my Black girlfriend, and gotten in fights with a several Mexicans and Latinos because they didn't like their "sister" dating a gringo. I saw my Korean girlfriend get slapped and practically disowned by her stepfather for dating a white guy. (And he was Mexican, go figure....) A good number of my lady's family was massacred in Nanking by the Japanese years ago.
Let it be known to you and anyone else who wishes to question me about my experiences that I'm well aware of the depths of human depravity and intolerance when it comes to race. I'm not a freaking blind idiot, and I know what the hell I'm talking about.

On the flip side, only one of the relationships I mentioned previously ended over issues of race or culture. I've had so many wonderful experiences with the family and friends of other girls I've dated over the years that those extremely bad ones are totally overshadowed. (and for the record, I don't have an extreme case of "Yellow Fever", exccept in my taste in dramas..) I've loved a lot (probably too many) of women over the years, and been deeply in love 4 times in my life. Engaged twice (one white, one El Salvadorean), and married my lovely lady 9 years ago yesterday ( Chinese, if you haven't guessed).

So frankly, who gives a **** about there not being a minority President yet? (and what exactly does that have to do with interracial dating, anyway..) Blacks used to be slaves in this country, and lately two of the highest and most respected positions in US Government have been filled by Blacks, as well as Congress, etc. etc. It's simply a matter of time. And why? Because enough people had enough of the bullshit and had the balls and perserverance to instigate change. I still find you to be lacking in the egg department, if you know what I mean.

As far as American Idol's little rap, 2 of the last 3 winners have been black. Reuben what's-his-name and the black girl with the reeeaaaally annoying voice. So kiss my minority-loving ass on that one and do your homework before you open your piehole, K?
You're proving me smarter that you better than I ever could....

As far as that "I can never go as far as a White guy can in America" crap? You're absolutely right. With your lack of self-confidence, little understanding of who you are and what you're capable of, you may as well go flip burgers at McDonald's and **** and moan about the white man keeping you down. I'm sure you'll find plenty of losers to help you support your belief.

With regards to your comments about people playing around when they're younger and sticking with their own kind, I and thousands upon thousands of happy interracial couples are proof that you're wrong. Can't understand different cultures? I'm not surprised. Your mind is closed up so tight that you could put a piece of coal between your ears and have a diamond in about 2 weeks. You figure that one out.

One thing you were right about though. You would really have to love them to live the rest of your life with them. But to be honest, shouldn't that be true even if she were the same race as you? I'd truly hope so.
I am not obsessed. I am just very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very focussed...

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Post by senakun » Feb 18th, '06, 09:44

Néa Vanille wrote:I think many just like Itoh Misaki because she's some sort of otaku-darling now. :-)
Well, I do not know about everyone else but as for me, I like her because she reminds me of.. of........ mukashi no Nakayama Miho~~~~~~ :wub: Néa Vanille, all the women you have mentioned I have seen (sonim is sooo cute), but, unfortunately, such choices are not available to me. :lol (hmmm... and neither is Misaki-chan it appears :glare:)

Sena


An unexpected brush with beauty makes a man feel happy, and carefree, and foolish.
--Steven Saylor
Last edited by senakun on Feb 18th, '06, 09:55, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by aNToK » Feb 18th, '06, 09:47

@Pokute: I've had several Black/Asian friends over the years. My old next-door neighbors were Black and Thai. The older boy and girl were extremely attractive. The younger one.... had a great personality...

@marvelouse: Nobody said race wasn't an issue. Date who the hell you want, just keep your mouth shut about other people's choices. In my mind, you haven't been or done **** up to now. If you allow yourself to give up just because you've encountered some hostility in your time, then you deserve your spatula.

And what the hell was that assimilation comment about? Is there some secret Borg collective around here that I don't know about or something?????
I am not obsessed. I am just very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very focussed...

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Post by marvelous » Feb 18th, '06, 09:56

Blacks are minorities in this country but they have been more recognized by the whites than any other minority in this country.

Far as blacks in the government. That is full of crap. Only whites are allowed to run this country. Sure blacks have government jobs or what not but whites make all the decisions.

You still haven't answered my question. Tell me why I had to live a nightmare for the last 8 years of my life? I was violated and was done things to me that is not right. Tell me why that is? If it wasn't about race. Does white people go through the same thing? Did you??

My mind was all open before all this happened to me. People make me change. You make me change.

@@@Maybe you should shut your mouth about how people should be. I have my preferences just like you. I just put in my 2 cents just like you bud..
Last edited by marvelous on Feb 18th, '06, 10:13, edited 3 times in total.

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Post by Kembang » Feb 18th, '06, 10:04

Well I'm quite a mixture..
So far I know I'm mostly Indonesian&Dutch and next to that a bit English,German,French,Jewish,Hindu and Chinese..(but in the end I'm exactly 50% caucasian,50%asian)
How do I look like? A bit similiar to Kristin Kreuk(Lana Lang from Smallvile),My eyecolor is brown with green around it,I got brunette hair,my skin is very light brown and I have a 'half asian' face =P..(next to my cacausian friends I look asian and next to my asian friends I look caucasian I guess XD)

So yeah I don't have any problem with it at all?
(I mean when it comes to dating..I don't really have any choice do I?)

Okay it can be possible that I'm more attracted to caucasian,asian and caucasian/asian mixed guys,I don't know but it's not that I can't be attracted to any other races(for example,imo Pharrel Williams from N*E*R*D*/The Nepthunes is quite hot XD and he's not caucasian or asian at all)..

Ohwell here in the Netherlands there are a lot mixed people,my exboyfriend was a mix of Indonesian,Chinese and a bit Japanese(<-or ohwell he was only told about the Japanese part like i'm only told about the french,english,hindu,chinese,german and jewish part)..
But he considered himself Indonesian..

I just consider myself Dutch-Indonesian(okay and also a bit English,German,French,Jewish,Hindu and Chinese,if not that would be kinda sad for those relatives,wouldn't it?)..there are many Dutch-Indonesian people here..we call them 'Indo's'
so yeah I consider myself as an 'Indo' I guess =P..

Imo mixing races is a bit like mixing paint btw,you get like all new colors..all new races..
That's really fun to see imo..

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Post by Rupugus » Feb 18th, '06, 10:17

marvelous wrote:Blacks are minorities in this country but they have been more recognized by the whites than any other minority in this country.

Far as blacks in the government. That is full of crap. Only whites are allowed to run this country. Sure blacks have government jobs or what not but whites make all the decisions.

You still haven't answered my question. Tell me why I had to live a nightmare for the last 8 years of my life? I was violated and was done things to me that is not right. Tell me why that is? If it wasn't about race. Does white people go through the same thing? Did you??

My mind was all open before all this happened to me. People make me change. You make me change.

@@@Antok you shut your mouth about how people should be. I have my preferences just like you. Don't tell me how to be alright. I just put in my 2 cents just like you bud..
Funny, I seem to remember quite a few non-whites in high positions... Where was that again? I guess you're right, cabinet members are just another government job that make no real desicions..

Why did you have to go thorugh the stuff in your life? simple, some people suck and are prejudice. Was it about race? yeah, this time. but people are noutorious for doing things to other people because of religion, race, or even just regional or family differences. heck you could get violated and beat up by your own family if you're unlucky enough. Could a white guy go through the same thing? heck yeah, just go to the right place and look at the wrong people a way they don't like. but are you really going to make a generalizaion about the entire world just because of the actions of a few ignorant people? are you really going to let some (extremely) bad luck change you into hating people back?if so, well then...
"YOU LOSE. YOU GET NOTHING. GOOD DAY SIR!"

we live in a world where people are at least trying to be more open minded, change their prejudices and become more educated. as long as you don't let people change you, you're helping change the world.
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Post by aNToK » Feb 18th, '06, 10:25

@marvelous: Yeah, Condoleeza Rice, Colin Powell, and the hundreds of other elected officials make no decisions. They're just puppets for "The Man". Right. Whatever. Blacks have also been in this country in greater numbers a longer time than most other minorities, and went through more crap as a people here than any of the others. Ever heard of slavery? White/Black marriages in many states weren't even officially recognized until the '60's. (Special mention to the Japanese for the internment camps during WWII. One of the top 5 things America should be and is ashamed of....) The rise in various minorities' representation in government is growing year by year shows that change is occuring. We will see a minority President someday (likely in the next 10-12 years, methinks. And yeah, that's just a guess on my part)

I haven't answered your question because I have no clue what the hell you're talking about. You might give me a freaking clue what was done to you and by whom, though the answer probably lies either in your attitude, or the fact that you ran into a whole bunch of racist assholes. To be fair it's probably the latter. If you wish me to address that issue, I'd have to know what the hell happened. If you wish to discuss it and would rather not do so in an open forum, pm me or e-mail me and I'd be more than willing to listen. Let me know. That long post had only a few examples of things I've been through on account of race, etc.

And sure, people can make you change if you let them. I doubt that I make you change any at all, at least in a seperatist or closed-minded direction. If so, that would be pretty sad. If anything, finding a group of people with positive experiences could encourage you that whatever you've experienced isn't all that's out there and that not every White person is out to keep you down, seperate, or whatever.

And for the record, I'm not telling you or anyone how to be or what preferences you should have. Only that you post your ideas and preferences as your own opinions rather than stating them as facts.

Won't be shutting my mouth anytime soon, and I don't tell people how they should be. You can and should have preferences that are unique to you. Just don't step on anyone else's beliefs as you wouldn't wish yours stepped on. Never know what someone will take offense to. And trying to keep an open mind is rarely a bad thing....

Hmm... I take back the shutting my mouth part. It's almost 2:30am and this little aNToK's getting sleepy. I'll check in tomorrow.

g'night!
I am not obsessed. I am just very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very focussed...

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