Well, this all started the day before Yesturday.
I just got a car yesturday! (1993 Honda Prelude SI) Its Red and is manual transmission! Haha Finally after Two years of saving I got a car!
. So now I don't need to ride the bus no more!
. Today was pretty cool because I drove to college which took me only 20mins! Beats getting there in 2 hours from the bus
. Later on that day I drove to work. As I walked in, I saw Aya-san working with one of "her fan boys" as her partner. After getting my task, I was assigned to a guy I went to college with (don't really know him that well) and our station was directly across from AYA! So now we both can directly see each other. While I'm helping my college buddy Aya would look at me then give me tasks to do.
Which was weird since usually the partner im working with gives tasks to do, Not other people from other stations. Anyway, I went ahead and did them. A supervisor came and told me I need to help someone get this big furniture on a flat bed for him. I nodded my ahead and agreed, right before I walked off, Aya suddenly called my name. As I looked to my right, she was very close to me and was staring me in the eyes. She told me "I should be careful since its a big item and I should call someone else to help me lift it." But as I stared in her eyes, I knew it wasn't just an order. I could see her concern for me on her face. I said "Sure, Okay." and walked off. By the time I got to the big furniture, haha I lifted it by my self and put it on the flat bed. It wasnt THAT heavy even though it was big. At least Aya wasn't looking when I did this ;). So later on I went back to my college buddy and started assisting for him again. I noticed that the supervisor started to send her "fan boy" out on tasks to do, while she was there by her self. So a thought occured in my head "Maybe I should go there and Help her!" But as I approached her to help, The fan boy immediate ran back and came infront of me like a brick wall and said "Thanks man for trying to help her, But don't worry bro. I got it". I said, "Okay" and marched back to my station in defeat. Later on during the night, the same thing happen again and Aya was left by her self. This time I was definately going to try and help her! As I approached, my supervisor came and said "Hey, The guy on the station over here next to you is going to need help since I'm taking his partner away for a second. Can you watch both stations?". I replied "Okidoky!" and walked back to my stations. Now I'm helping my college buddy and this guy on our left, while Aya was left alone on her right. But meh, I never tried to help her again after that. It got really busy and I was working as fast as I could to get things by. Suddenly, this cute japanese girl got in my line. She was definately looking at me and showing some interest all the while Aya was watching this. I did everything possibly correct with my body language and the facial expressions on my face. This girl looked totally interested in me. Soon as it was her turn, She walked to the table right infront of me. As soon as I open my mouth I realized something. I LOST IT! I lost my game, I was not able to say anything except work related things. I asked her questions like if she wanted it to look like this? If she needed help to her car and If she needed a cart for this. She replied "No" and smiled. Then she left and walked away. I felt miserable I couldn't beileve it I LOST MY GAME! I felt like falling on my knees and screaming towards the moonlit sky "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Later on during the night, things finally slowed down and it was time to close. Before I left to go to my department, Aya stopped me and ask if I could retrieve something for her. After I came back with the thing she wanted me to get, I handed it to her and said "here you go" and smiled. She looked at me and said "Thanks" and smiled back. Then I left.
While I was working in my department, I was thinking about Aya. Is she really the right one for me? I obviously can feel her emotions out that she likes me or is at least attracted to me. But I haven't really talked to her for that much. I don't know much about her and she doesn't know anything about me. Even though she is beautiful, I don't really feel an attraction towards her. I know she is the cutest girl at work and is asian, but I don't really want to push it towards an intimate level. Maybe I should stop right now in my tracks.
For the rest of the night Aya ignored me and talked with everyone else, which was pretty cool to me. Then she left an hour before I did, her shift was earlier than mines. After work I walked to my car and saw my college buddys car. We pretty much talked about auto detailing and making your car look "nice and shiny"
. I then drove home. On my way home my english teacher from college called me telling me my Final Paper was wrong and I need to come in 7am tommorrow to fix it. As I looked at the time, It was currently Midnight. I thought to my self "Oh great, another night with almost no sleep. How could things possibly get worse?"
I drove to school half an hour late, haha 7:30. My english teacher told me that in my Final Paper I didn't "highlight" in my hardcopied sources each exact word and phrase I used in my paper. I thought to my self "Why you....." 2 and a half hours passed and I fixed everything. I went to my classes and got my paper back. I got a B! woo hoo. Maybe she just doesn't like World War 2 and the 101st Airborne (Topic for my final paper) Haha!. Later on during the day I drove to work. When I got in, Aya wasn't working today. I thought to my self, "Bummer" But my emotions were saying "ALLLRIGHT!! WOOHOO!!" During work I saw the 2nd cutest girl at work, she was saying Hi to me. I came to talk to her but... I couldn't say anything. Except How your doing? Thats it... So she found me boring and walked away. I felt like hammering a fist into a wall and crying. I thought to my self " After all these months of understanding these women, I can't say a word.. I can't think of anything... I can't do anything.." I couldn't beileive it. I lost my game, I could not do what made me feel so proud. I felt like such a loser again. Back to my status as a whimpering loser. Later on the sun began to set and I was outside stocking things, then I saw this 28 year old beautiful japanese girl wearing tight clothes coming to me unexpectedly, she said "Here you go" and handed me an item she picked earlier. I stared gently back at her eyes and said "Thanks" and gave her a half smile. She then looked at me so seductively and walked away. At this moment I felt like I was "on fire" again. I had my game back! My co-workers saw what happen and started patting me on the back and pushing me back and forth. It was like I was on the winning team of a football game. But then tragedy struck, this time a group of girls (were cute) came up to me asking me for help. I couldn't say anything... I lost my game for sure. I just couldn't do it.
Maybe I wasn't ment to be a Gentlemen. I thought I could do it, but I now am a Loser who can't even talk to the opposite sex. Maybe this was ment to be. I slowly walked away and stopped what I was doing to take an "Unofficial Break" haha. I knew that I couldn't understand the women no more. Maybe I'm just suppose to let love take its course. I don't understand or know what to do anymore. As I walked passed the benches to go back to work after realizing that maybe I should let love take its course instead of forcing it.
SUDDENLY! I saw a familiar figure sitting on the bench. She was reading a book and everything around her seem to glow and my heart felt like butter. The same feeling I felt on the bus returned. I then walked to take a closer look it was BASU-HERMES!!!! I almost jumped for joy! As I walked towards her, I could feel everything returning. While I was walking by her, I suddenly stopped and looked over my shoulder and said "Hey, that looks like an interesting book. What is it about?" She started to explain it was a Love story about how a man is undecisive about his feelings for a woman and their struggles they go through." I replied "Thats facinating, that reminds me of a story about my friend who was exactly in that situation!" I began to sit next to her and face a little bit away form her. I told her the story and she was like "OMG!" I smirked and gave a half smile, I thought to my self "Gigiddy Giggidy... Alriiight... MY GAME IS BACK!" But as I tried to work my game on her, it was unaffective. She found it interesting for sure of the stories I was telling, but I didn't get her FULL attention. So I then abandoned my game and started to talk with my feelings. We started to talk about astrology and the stars. We were talking about the stupidest things we did and the craziest things. Then I told her about the bus story. I was honest about that. I told her how I felt on the bus and everything. She was shocked at first and then gave a warm smile towards me. Everything was what I hoped and dream for! She was perfect! She was beautiful as ever! She was very intelligent and funny. She didn't look like those girls who tries to dress up like a skank but more as a girl of complexity. She dressed kind of like hermes in densha otoko. As we talked I learned how old she is, "18"
. But mentally I thought how perfect she was! But in my heart, I knew she wasn't the one. I couldn't explain why but she just wasn't the one. She felt the same way too. She said exactly the same thing I did, mentally were perfect for each other and it seemed like everything was perfect! But in our hearts for some reason we felt that we werent the one for each other. I then said, "Well, I have to get back to work" and she said "ok" we said it wa a pleasure meeting each other and will see each other around. I told her "Hey you may never know, fate might bring us to meet each other again". I winked and then walked away while hearing her chuckle in the background. As I walked away, everyone was staring at me though I couldn't figure out why. One of my co-workers came up and said "DUDE! I just saw what happened. Is that your girl friend man? Dang....... She is Hot!!!! Your so lucky dude! She doesn't even look like those girls who try to dress up hot and wear skimpy clothes." I then looked down and laugh a bit and I said, "Shes just a friend" and I walked away.
After all that I couldn't beileve it, the girl I thought to be the one... was actually more of a friend than the girl of my dreams. She was stunning as ever, but just wasn't the one. One day I'll find her. She is out there waiting for me, The girl of my dreams.