I feel I have no life

[notp3rfect]

ok , so im in high school and have done nothing with my life.
every day, i end up going home right after school.
I don't stay after to hang out w/ ppl.
is something wrong with me??
i end up watching dramas online and yeah...
I dont think im ugly, but still.
is something wrong with me??
does any1 else have this "problem"?
please don't like post negative things...

[Kaitoz]

Me too, kinda. Actually there are plenty of people like that But it's good that you've realized that - it means you want to change your way of life. You know, I have this problem of communicating with people about other things than cute actors and cool jpop songs. =/ Most people aren't interested in things like that. Moreover, I'm 21 I'm supposed to be past this stage of falling for idols. But still, I still feel like a kid so I think it's not a bad thing.

People do need a hobby, that's fine, it makes you happy and all, but you have to restrict yourself. It's hard, cuz it's like an addiction (d-addicts is such a appropriate name... )

What I could suggest you is to reduce the time of watching jdramas. To do that you need to spend more time outside. I mean, as long as there's no computer around you, you aren't going to watch anything, so go window-shopping, hang out with classmates, find a job or maybe another hobby, which would be just as time-consuming, but would help you feel better - go to a fitness, do some sport, learn how to cook, stuff like that.
Good luck~

[cel]

Hi notp3rfect
There is nothing wrong with you. You do enjoy being home right?
There are a lot of people like you besides you're still in
high school just wait when you get to college.

[notp3rfect]

thanks! i feel better knowing that im not alone
well, i guess life is about how you live it...
but sometimes i just feel so BORED
i kinda feel awkward around ppl, like do they like you? do you look weird? or something like that...
like, what's the meaning of life? what are we supposed to live for? i know i sound like an idiot
tips on how to socialize better?

[melonyhappy]

I blame the internet. Back in the day without ADSL, I actually did stuff
You're in high school - get involved with extra curricular activities... Join a club you're half interested in.

[akiko-chico]

I don't think you should worry about high school being boring, all I remember in the high school days was doing loads of homework ... but I enjoyed it only to see my friends everyday, since now everyone is living their own lives so we hardly see each other anymore Don't worry your still young! You have plenty of time

[nankasento]

thanks! i feel better knowing that im not alone
well, i guess life is about how you live it...
but sometimes i just feel so BORED
i kinda feel awkward around ppl, like do they like you? do you look weird? or something like that...
like, what's the meaning of life? what are we supposed to live for? i know i sound like an idiot
tips on how to socialize better?

There is no meaning of life, you just have to live it and die at the end.
For yourself, not for your parents or anyone else, just you.
The only way to really become more proficient in socializing is by doing it, so I suggest to go out and socialize.

Actually to really learn anything well failure is needed but don't get discouraged just learn from the mistakes.

Be glad you are in high school, it's a perfect place to find out and learn this stuff.Just wait until your done with school and have to work, if you haven't nailed it by then you'll get really bored and the repercussions are much worse then when you're in high school.

[lovenathanscott]

I totally get what you're talking about:)
I'm like REALLY often at home too! I sit here, turn on the computer and do nothing special, just watch some dramas, listen to music or whatever. I know i shouldn't stay online for too long but it's addicitve hahah
You have so many possibilities with the internet, chatting with friends etc..
Of course, i still do things with friends but well..
I think we should just try to limitate the amount of hours spent on the internet?XD
But don't think you're alone!!:)
We're probably not the only ones

It was a good idea to start this thread, though!

[7hckc]

Do you have interests, career goals, or hobbies?

I think staying at home is OK, but it depends on which part of the world you're in. If you're in a western culture (Canada/USA and Europe) it might spell trouble later on in your career. Western culture is more open, and people tend to socialize a lot more. (i.e beer after work, chat over coffee, talk over golf). So if you're not really comfortable with people, its really hard for you to move up at work.

This is not to say you won't get anywhere with your career, but it puts you at a disadvantage. The best way to develop the people skill is to get out there, be active and meet people. Also, you'll begin to learn a lot of what goes in happen through connections - knowing a lot of people will help you later on in life.

[ethidda]

Well, high school is boring unless you're going to a super difficult/elite high school or you're REALLY lazy/stupid/have other circumstances.

I think a lot more people than you think are like you, going home and chilling, watching tv/drama or listening to music or reading books. The thing is that the people you are more likely to notice/pay attention to are people who go out and do stuff, who work, volunteer, or simply hang out with a lot of people. Compared to those people, yeah, you probably are doing "nothing", but they're usually over-achievers.

Still, I think it's better to go out and do stuff. The problem with staying home and watching drama is this:

You know, I have this problem of communicating with people about other things than cute actors and cool jpop songs. =/ Most people aren't interested in things like that.

The thing is that because you spend all day watching drama, you're not going to have anything else to talk about. So it's natural to feel awkward talking to people who don't share you interests (I still feel awkward talking to people... about rock music, for example.)

My solution is to get all my good friends watching drama. I also watch some British and American tv series and I used to watch a lot of movies in high school (about once a week or every other week with my friends, and we'd do dinner beforehand too). That way, you are out hanging out with people and socializing and you'd have more to talk about with people, and it makes conversation much less awkward.

And picking up a new job/hobby is always good, too. Though, hobbies aren't always that helpful for getting to know people. (I got into fishkeeping... and became a recluse and oddball for quite a while, just thinking about buying bigger tanks and staring at my fish.)[/quote]

[kenu]

Nothing wrong with staying at home and watching drama.

But if that's the only thing you do, it may be good to get out and do other stuff like meet people by playing sport, taking up hobbies, learning to master a musical instrument, learning to master conversation and persuasive talking, learn Japanese or Korean, there's heaps of stuff.

Most importantly at your stage, study and do well at school. That much can not be understated. Getting into a good college and having a pick of what you want to do is much better than having to settle for something you aren't interested. Doing well in school and college gives you choice and opens up many more opportunities otherwise.

If you can do well at school, you can get scholarships and get paid to study, while most people have to pay to further their education.

If you know other languages well by the time you graduate from High school, you can even study abroad and have experiences many of your peers will never get.

[kisses_hugs_27]

there is nothing wrong with you.. you are just doing things that makes you happy.. and that is the most important thing..

we have our own personalities.. we have our own stuffs to do..

i am not saying that you must continue doing that forever.. it is still better to have friends.. try to entertain the world..

you are still young, just enjoy life!

ciao ^^,

[7hckc]

What concerns me is that people are still saying it's OK to stay home and watch drama when most of us agree it's probably not the best thing to do,

It's important to stay active in life. At the end of the day, what sets you apart are the life experiences that you've accumulated.

I was one told by my mentor, "everything around you in imaginary. Your purpose in life to define what everything around you means and the last thing you want is to lie on your death bed not knowing much about this world."

Although you're in high school, I'm just worried that you might regret not doing certain things in life.

I think the other important point is to provide some guidance as to how to get out of that shell. Start maybe a TV drama club at school, get a few of your friends so you guys can meet at school to talk about series. That's a good place to start and get out there. Build off of interest - passion will always guide you to success.

[XrayZ]

notp3rfect, this may sound kinda weird but it's a good sign you're worried!

It means that you at least think about or notice what's going on in your life, where a lot of people just seem to drift along without ever questioning how they live.

Personally I find people very difficult to deal with, and I'm also extremely insecure about stuff like my popularity & appearance (I definitely look weird, I definitely have a talent for annoying people!), and as a result I do a lot of "human avoidance" in my life.

I admit I've not got any "light at the end of the tunnel" type words but maybe some small (very small!) hints & tips which have helped me, cause seriously I got problems (mental illness, money trouble, no future to speak of, plus a good friend of mine hung himself last month) and if I didn't take some steps things would be on the down instead of barely braking even.

Anyway, three very small things I do to improve my relationship with the world:

First up, try to pick out a single thing you're not so happy with, and work on it. When my daughter was about 6 I gave up shouting, which improved her life a fair bit and mine even more. A couple years ago, I promised my cat B-Boy I'd take better care of him, and I managed that. Right now I'm completely failing to improve my visiting of friends... well, almost, I went out last week! It was fun, too. Just to a friend's house, but I rarely do and progress is progress, innit?

Secondly, ask someone close to give you a reality check/progress report from time to time. I have very few friends (and I don't socialize online), but all it takes is one maybe two people you can ask "Have I been a bit weird lately?" or "Did they all think I was a nutter?" or "Honestly, am I a total loser?"

And yes, it's gotta be someone you can trust to be harsh if you ask questions like that last one! It's hard to keep a sense of humour sometimes when they answer with brutal honesty, but it's always helped me out in bad times.

Third and final piece of "wise old man" bs....

Spend five or ten minutes a day looking at your own face in a mirror. I used to hate the way I looked, but I don't anymore. I've watched myself lose my hair and go grey (really early, dammit, I'm 34!), I've seen myself hung over and coming down and sleep deprived and upset and crying, seen myself way overweight and too thin for comfort (by my standards). Still, because I'm very used my battered old face, I feel happier with my appearance now than I did when I was 16 or 18.

This stuff might sound silly but for me, it's done at least as much good as the medication I've been prescriibed down the years.

Also, if my perspective seems a bit distant in terms of age and gender, this is a discussion I've experienced before as a youth my own self and as a parent (weekend parent, I'm divorced). My daughter's 12, and quite like me in mostly good ways, but we talk about our issues (which are kinda similar to your issues) and help each other out.

It's hard carrying around a combination of intelligence, idiosyncratic interests and social awkwardness, but nonetheless the world needs people like that!

Peace.

[notp3rfect]

hmm... i see. but the thing is i don't really have an interest in anything... i mean, i guess i'm just boring to begin w/?
im a twin, so i have my sis constantly reminding me what my faults are...
i guess it really is the internet that keeps me at home
and i'm doing good in school, so that's not a problem... i guess it's just really boring?

[nankasento]

but the thing is i don't really have an interest in anything... i mean, i guess i'm just boring to begin w/?

This is what you should work on, the fact you classify yourself as boring and find you have no interest in anything. If you look at it from another perspective you might see yourself a whole lot different. Because if you have no interest in anything then you also have no interest in drama and no interest in the Internet, actually you'd have no interest in life at all so why are you?
Working on self improvement is a ****, takes many years and is very difficult, most people aren't even able to achieve it alone and need others to help them, but once you get the hang of it your quality of life will improve a lot.

and i'm doing good in school, so that's not a problem... i guess it's just really boring?

Like someone else said above, you're probably not doing what you really want to learn, you really need to search inside yourself to find out what it is you really want to do.

[deric600rr]

I have no life because of D-ADDICTS. I am addicted to WUXIA drama series, I must have completed over 10 through out this winter.
All I do is come home from work every day and watch my episodes. My life wasnt like this before, i mean i use to go out and do all kinds of stuff with friends. But this isnt so bad after all, it is my choice to run a boring type of life.
Maybe my life will be back to normal if i run out of drama's ?????

[Medousa]

I have no life because of D-ADDICTS. I am addicted to WUXIA drama series, I must have completed over 10 through out this winter.
All I do is come home from work every day and watch my episodes. My life wasnt like this before, i mean i use to go out and do all kinds of stuff with friends. But this isnt so bad after all, it is my choice to run a boring type of life.
Maybe my life will be back to normal if i run out of drama's ?????

Come onnn now u cant blame anyone for that, it is your choise!!!
and... get real... drama's will never end
since u dont enjoy going out with friends anymore why dont u invite them over to watch dramas together? That maybe be a good start to begin socialize with them again. Eventually u might start doing other things besides only watching dramas.

All things are ok when u do in moderation imo

[Cyclopz0rs]

im 16 years old and its summer,
but instead of going out,
mostly all i do is stay home playing street fighter iv,
i dont even have time for dramas haha

[merou1]

were very social, find a group activity or club you can join after school, if its not for you dont force yourself into it, I know sometimes you feel like there is no meaning in what you might do and get bored out of your mind, but find something you really enjoy and go into depth with it, try to perfect it as if you lived 1000 years, its not easy, its like practicing uhhh for a sports, its hard but man you feel a great rush after, and appreciation, we sometimes strive for easy ways of satisfaction, and want instant rewards for what we do, but I find that setting longterm goals provide great satisfaction in life, sure you might feel great after playing and win that game on your xbox, not saying you do that, but just an example, but after that is done, you feel uhhh like youve done nothing, hahaha, maybe im just going off again, later! and dont forget to smile, positive attitude dude, just keep your head up high

[Cyclopz0rs]

were very social, find a group activity or club you can join after school, if its not for you dont force yourself into it, I know sometimes you feel like there is no meaning in what you might do and get bored out of your mind, but find something you really enjoy and go into depth with it, try to perfect it as if you lived 1000 years, its not easy, its like practicing uhhh for a sports, its hard but man you feel a great rush after, and appreciation, we sometimes strive for easy ways of satisfaction, and want instant rewards for what we do, but I find that setting longterm goals provide great satisfaction in life, sure you might feel great after playing and win that game on your xbox, not saying you do that, but just an example, but after that is done, you feel uhhh like youve done nothing, hahaha, maybe im just going off again, later! and dont forget to smile, positive attitude dude, just keep your head up high

this is off topic but...
KIMURA KAELA

[nankasento]

hmm... i see. but the thing is i don't really have an interest in anything... i mean, i guess i'm just boring to begin w/?
im a twin, so i have my sis constantly reminding me what my faults are...
i guess it really is the internet that keeps me at home
and i'm doing good in school, so that's not a problem... i guess it's just really boring?

Again with the boring, you are born as a clean sheet of white paper, the only way it got boring is because you didn't do anything with it, go crazy with color and make it not boring.
It's great you have a twin sister pointing out all your flaws, now you don't have to find them out yourself, they are presented on a plate, work on them, although I have to mention that you should think twice about those faults, pointing out those "faults" could be an ulterior motive from your twin sister side, I'm saying, "could", because there's no way knowing for sure from just that line, but it could be she's pointing out yours to hide hers.

If you aren't interested in a hobby at least pick up a sport, martial art or other healthy activities to get yourself away from the computer and the drama and stay healthy, at least you'll be able to be boring longer.

And my last advice, I think you should watch some boxxy rants, you might find a kindred spirit in her.

[dabogy]

Learn to appreciate what you have right now

First, don't spend lots of your time in one event (like watching)

2nd, find things to do - if you don't like it - look again

lastly, look for a partner (Friend/Best Friend)

[Tetsuz]

I doubt that there's a problem there's nothing much to do o.o I hang out with friends after school play some bball sometimes but yeh there's nothing much to do

[stun]

I am a 28 year old guy. So here is what I have learned through my personal experience.
It is okay to love watching drama or whatever hobby you may have. Nothing wrong with it.

However, you definitely need to learn how to communicate properly with other people.
Why? There are a couple of reasons:
(1) as you grow older and after you graduate and look for a job, communication skill does matter.
(2) in your job, you need to be able to effectively communicate to get the job done without making other people mad at you.
You are going to be doing that your entire life.

In short, you are not alone in this world and need to learn how to "connect" with other people effectively.
So I would definitely argue when people define "having a life" as going out and being "normal".

Nobody is "normal". But you do need to learn to fit in because you cannot get anywhere in your life without learning to connect with others.



People are cruel sometimes. But as long as you are happy with yourself, they cannot hurt you.

My advice is, no matter how other people think of you (or) treat you......
(1) be real (basically don't try to impress)
(2) be humble
(3) be honest
(4) be nice to others
(5) be hardworking

If you live your life like that, you *will* make REAL friends that you can rely on, and you will be happy.