My buddy's breakup

[Halfass]

So one of my male buddies had recently got dumped by his girlfriend. So naturally, I asked him why? And so he replied because of me? So then I asked him why me, what did I do? He then so told me his girlfriend was jealous, you know like… him + me = hangin’ out 24/7 blah blah blah. Thinking it was hilarious so I picked up my cellie and call his (ex) girlfriend and said it wasn’t all me. It was only half of me because we only hung out half of 24/7 a day! Yea yea of course she didn’t listen and got pissed at my Halfass even more so now to the point that she was soooo fluent in English, German, Chinese, French, Vietnamese etc etc all thrown together like she was some professional U.N. interpreter for sure. Le *Sigh*

Seriously, I’m hurting because seeing my buddy is hurting because he loves this (ex) girl who isn't loving him back because of me. So now what? What should I do?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanx!

[Hanzol]

Did the ex bring up this issue to your friend before or was this something that just happened out of the blue?

[Halfass]

Did the ex bring up this issue to your friend before or was this something that just happened out of the blue?

My other buddies told me that she did bring it up in his face but he never told me and so I didn't know about it.

His (ex) girl was very attractive. So.... I didn't see the reason of her being oh so insecure.

[Hanzol]

It sounds like your friend didn't make the effort to address this before, maybe because guys are guys and they think its all right to spend time with a girl friend, so they brush it off. He should have considered what she said and maybe he wasn't able to change. I think it is important for him to make small adjustments at first just to show he's willing to give up some time for his girlfriend while not sacrificing too much in terms of his friendships.

Not knowing about this before didn't help Did you notice anything? Any signs of this prior to? It sounds like you couldn't do much, unless you were hinted at this before.

I think the chances of your friend getting back with his ex really depends on him showing her that he'd change or has changed. There's only so much that you can do. It's really up to them to reconcile this, of course now that you know about this and seeing how you really do want them to get back together shows that you're willing to sacrifice your time with him. Also, I would suggest not assuming everything is ok, especially if his ex is gorgeous and seems confident. You're a close girl friend, so its not surprising that she may get jealous.

After making that phone call, I would definitely be worried about her being comfortable with you. Keep your distance from the gf for a while and let the two of them sort things out and then maybe if they get back together build trust and rapport.

[Jscorpio]

You're too funny, Halfass.. Well I mean, your post.. =)

Anyway, so your buddy's gf is jealous of you, eh?? Have you asked her why she felt this way?? Perhaps, you were.. Well, uhm, never mind..

**Beijos**

[Jscorpio]

Btw, what is jealousy??

[XiaoPauli]

So now what? What should I do?

Given what you written, I don't think any action is required on your part. I can't possibly think why it would be your fault. The blame should be on the girl for trivially being upset over something like you having a strong friendship with the guy. If the girl is upset over something like that, I don't think she would be the type of girl I'd want my own friends to be dating.

[Halfass]

Did you notice anything?

I noticed her eyes on me when all of us were hangin’ out. But hey I just thought she was checking me out. So was I wrong damnit!

Anyway, so your buddy's gf is jealous of you, eh??

Yeah I know every guy/girl will eventually go through this emblematic situation of having a jealio girlfriend/boyfriend at some point in his/her life. Just too funny he’s one of those unfortunate souls. LOL!

For real, I think it's ok to feel jealous, as long as she can control and/or master it in a positive manner etc etc blah blah blah. Moreover, it just goes to show you her (ex) boyfriend has good taste. SWEET!

Have you asked her why she felt this way??

Damn Ginaaaaa! Why gotta asked me why about her why? What’s up with the “why” equation in your question? Hey you're the (ex) girlfriend's friend, ain't you? SCOOP!

Btw, what is jealousy??

Good question, Gina. What is jealousy you asked? Well... to me it's sompin' of a human emotion we instinctively experience at some point or another. It refers to a strong desire for someone else's stature and/or possessions. But in a social setting, it causes someone to be doubtful of their boyfriend/girlfriend and feel threatened by their interaction with certain people. More or less, Jealousy is really just a form of insecurity in a relationship felt by the girlfriend, or the boyfriend, or both the girlfriend&boyfriend, or girlfriend&girlfriend etc etc blah blah blah.

Given what you written, I don't think any action is required on your part. I can't possibly think why it would be your fault. The blame should be on the girl for trivially being upset over something like you having a strong friendship with the guy. If the girl is upset over something like that, I don't think she would be the type of girl I'd want my own friends to be dating.

I don't think it was my fault so I chill so that my buddy can prioritise his love life and/or pays more attention to his Queen. Nah, I don't blame her either because I understand where she's coming from...

[Jscorpio]

G'evening, Halfass!!

Well, first of all, nice to chat with you.. And for the record, my name is not Gina, it's Adrijana.. =)

You wrote “<i>I think it’s ok to feel jealous</i>”.. I respectfully disagree.. Well I mean, feeling jealous is never healthy, dear mate.. Jealousy is also a sign of possessiveness where she is so unstable that she carnt keep her partners for long periods of time.. Thus, her inability to hold on to her partners is usually directly related to her psycho-like behaviour and mannerism.. For example, have you seen Last Friends?? If you have, what do you think of Sousuke?? Really, no one should have to suffer such torture and abuse inflicted by jealous girlfriends/boyfriends, do you not agree??

[Jscorpio]

Hey Halfass, I have another question.. Do you think it's okay to look at other women whilst you're in a long-term relationship??

[Halfass]

Well, first of all, nice to chat with you.. And for the record, my name is not Gina, it's Adrijana.. =)

Ooooh.. Adrijana, what a beautiful name. Oh so proper, oh so British. Fancy some tea? ;-)

I respectfully disagree.. Well I mean, feeling jealous is never healthy, dear mate..

Whatcha talkin’ about Wilma? When did I say it was healthy to feel? Where where? Last I checked, “I said I think it was ok to feel.” Read the difference? So I ask why did you disagree?

Jealousy is also a sign of possessiveness where she is so unstable that she carnt keep her partners for long periods of time.. Thus, her inability to hold on to her partners is usually directly related to her psycho-like behaviour and mannerism..

Indeed. But for the most part, jealousy is a byproduct of one's own issues with self-confidence and self-esteem. Like I said Gina, for those who can't control it, is gonna be detrimental to the relationship. Why? Because it eats away at the very one thing that holds it together w/love and that’s “Trust.”

For example, have you seen Last Friends?? If you have, what do you think of Sousuke?? Really, no one should have to suffer such torture and abuse inflicted by jealous girlfriends/boyfriends, do you not agree??

Yeah, I watched 3 epids of Last Friends for the last 3 weeks and so I’m not going to talk about it anymore. However, I am happily anticipating for epid 4.

Hey Halfass, I have another question.. Do you think it's okay to look at other women whilst you're in a long-term relationship??

Damn Gina! What am I to you, your personal shrink in D-addicts? Furthermore, the name of the game is before I answer your second question, you must answer my first question, OTAY?

I mean fo reallio, what kind of question is that? Is it “okay to look at other women whilst you're in a long-term relationship??” Of course it’s O.K.!

Girl you need to realise just because you’re in a relationship and you’re madly in love and you’re infatuated with “her”, that doesn't mean that every other woman are going to begin looking like Rosie O'Donald, damnit!

The key is to remember the “look, but don’t touch” thingy thingy. Yeap yeap, like mama always says to appreciate the beautiful things in life, regardless of whatever the packaging, a beautiful thing deserves appreciation. Oui!

Nitey nite, Gina... *Besous*

[gnossienneslent]

Looks like I've finally found a thread to let loose a little bit.

Well, Halfass, your friend's a jackass or a dumbass. I know he's your buddy and all, but there's really no denying it.

1. He was totally out of touch with his girl (I mean that in a mental/emotional sense, but being physically out of touch would probably compound that). He's either completely oblivious to how she felt, knew how she felt and didn't take it seriously, or flat didn't care. In any case he's gonna keep having this problem as long as he can't come to terms with it.

2. He's telling you why they split up. It's his problem to solve and whether she feels threatened by you or not, he's got to work it out with her. Of course you are going to try to help him and call her, but she wants him around. You being a girl adds to it, but the real issue is that she has more expectations of his time than he was giving, and he made that decision. If he doesn't want to spend the time with her then the relationship has to end. His priorities don't meet her expectations. Bad match, find another girl. Someone mentioned sacrifice, but it's purely a matter of desire and if he didn't to be with her while he was spending time with you it's a pretty clear statement. Bottom line, pulling you into it probably made things worse for their relationship and didn't make you feel better.

The jealousy issue: maybe she is confident, and it's pissing her off that he wouldn't come to see her instead of hanging out with you.

Now, if she is some kind of deranged, possessive girl then he's still got issues if he wants to stay with her, even if she is hot, because it just means there's going to be nonstop conflict.

So, in answer to your question, I think you have to let him take care of it himself. Cheer your boy on but let him do the fighting.

If I'm wrong, that's not going to come as a shock since this is all derived from a couple of posts on a site dedicated to drama.

♡

[Jscorpio]

@Halfass

Wakeup sleephead!! **Tickle Tickle**

Unfortunately I have to jet over to campus to finish writing my speech to be delivered on this coming Monday.. I promise I will write soon..

Oh, and G'morning to ya!! =)

[zyrene]

hey hey hey look this way.

maybe his girlfriend is not really jealous and was just trying to make excuses for her and your buddy to break up. because from what you said shes much hotter than you so she has no reason to be insecured or something. that was just my opinion.

[Halfass]

Looks like I've finally found a thread to let loose a little bit.

Damn Gina!! Should I be scurred up in hurrr?

Well, Halfass, your friend's a jackass or a dumbass. I know he's your buddy and all, but there's really no denying it.

1. He was totally out of touch with his girl (I mean that in a mental/emotional sense, but being physically out of touch would probably compound that). He's either completely oblivious to how she felt, knew how she felt and didn't take it seriously, or flat didn't care. In any case he's gonna keep having this problem as long as he can't come to terms with it.

2. He's telling you why they split up. It's his problem to solve and whether she feels threatened by you or not, he's got to work it out with her. Of course you are going to try to help him and call her, but she wants him around. You being a girl adds to it, but the real issue is that she has more expectations of his time than he was giving, and he made that decision. If he doesn't want to spend the time with her then the relationship has to end. His priorities don't meet her expectations. Bad match, find another girl. Someone mentioned sacrifice, but it's purely a matter of desire and if he didn't to be with her while he was spending time with you it's a pretty clear statement. Bottom line, pulling you into it probably made things worse for their relationship and didn't make you feel better.

Wooh!! Danny’s a jackass/dumbass? SWEET!

Nah, he’s cool. Loves his (ex) girlfriend and would do anything for her. So I'll email your message for him to answer.

The jealousy issue: maybe she is confident,

Well... there's an old adage that says the single most attractive thing a man/woman can possess is <i>confidence</i>. Perhaps, she is confident. But her actions prove otherwise.

and it's pissing her off that he wouldn't come to see her instead of hanging out with you.

Wait da minute! Life with a girlfriend and no friends would be a sad existence, in my humble opinion. Yeah, I know putting your buddies before your girlfriend is sure to lead to some problems in a relationship etc etc. But surely there's room for both, isn't there? After all, it's more likely your buddies will be there for you when she breaks your heart, right?

Now, if she is some kind of deranged, possessive girl then he's still got issues if he wants to stay with her, even if she is hot, because it just means there's going to be nonstop conflict.

I couldn't agree more. And thanx for taking the time to respond my topic.

[Halfass]

hey hey hey look this way.

Yea Yea, am looking and keeping an open mind.

maybe his girlfriend is not really jealous and was just trying to make excuses for her and your buddy to break up.

Alright, let us assume if it’s not her silly season of jealousy, so then for her to make silly excuses (as you say) in order to just breakup with my buddy seems even sillier, no?

For real, wouldn’t it be better if we learn to respect our girlfriend/boyfriend and honestly communicate instead of expecting them to guess what they’re thinking, this would be a much better dating world?

because from what you said shes much hotter than you so she has no reason to be insecured or something. that was just my opinion.

Indeed she’s hot and she wants to hear it from him. Clearly, the fem psyche is a complex layering of emotion, intelligence, intuition, and reason -- sorta like a potent mixture that even Mr. Sigmund Freud would have a hard time decoding. Luckily, I have a solution book for my buddy: “How to flatter your woman for dummies 101.”

[Halfass]

@Halfass

Wakeup sleephead!! **Tickle Tickle**

Unfortunately I have to jet over to campus to finish writing my speech to be delivered on this coming Monday.. I promise I will write soon..

Oh, and G'morning to ya!! =)

Where you at, Ginaaaaaa???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

C'mon, come out come out and play. Oui? ;-)

How was your day?

[gnossienneslent]

Damn Gina!! Should I be scurred up in hurrr?

Scurry if you want. You just seemed like a girl that could handle anything I threw at her without resorting to the indignant princess sugarplum fairy act that seems to be ubiquitous on this site.

Nah, he’s cool. Loves his (ex) girlfriend and would do anything for her.

Well, men in love are quite often indistinguishable from dumassses, but I did warn you that I was probably wrong.

Wait da minute! Life with a girlfriend and no friends would be a sad existence, in my humble opinion. But surely there's room for both, isn't there?

I'm not saying there isn't, but she doesn't seem to be satisfied with what she's getting.

After all, it's more likely your buddies will be there for you when she breaks your heart, right?

Makes it easier to keep him crawling back if he's got nowhere to turn. I guess I have to give your buddy credit for having some loyalty to his friends, but I think if she's that hung up on you then he can find another girl that's a little less prissy.

I hear the caffeine monster calling me. I gotta go hunt it down.

♡

[Jscorpio]

Where you at, Ginaaaaaa???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

C'mon, come out come out and play. Oui? ;-)

How was your day?

I'm here, Halfass.. Where are you now??

My day sucked!! I'm tired and hungry.. It's 8ish here in Manhattan.. I should go grab a bite to eat, huh??

[Halfass]

Psst Gina! I could just offer you my half of the sandwich that I ordered not too long ago. It's after 8 and I'm trying to watch the carbs.

[Jscorpio]

Stop teasing me!! Well I mean, sure, Carbs are the least of my concerns right about now.. What kind of sandwich is it?? Teehee..

[Halfass]

Dude it's da chicken steak sub loaded with everything unhealthy that you could think of like the green peepers, hot peppers, mounds of fried onions and cheese. And to top it off a couple cans of ice cold Coke. SWEET!

[Jscorpio]

Mmm.. sounds delightfully decadent.. LOL!!

[Halfass]

So how was da big juicy steak sandwich Gina? Good?

[Jscorpio]

Mmm.. YUMMY!! Well I mean, it should be a crime for a steak sub to taste this good..

[Halfass]

Damn right it is! Psst Gina! Rumour has it they sprinkle a lil' sompin' sompin' on top for that extra added high.

[Jscorpio]

Is that right??

[Halfass]

Nah, that's rumour.

[Jscorpio]

Uncorroborated evidence, Halfy!! Teehee..

[Halfass]

Damn Ginaaa!

Conjecture!

[Jscorpio]

Hearsay.. But if it pleases the court, I'd like to further investigate this alleged chicken steak sub as to the origin of the alleged substance..

[Halfass]

Objection!

Counselor Jscorpio is badgering da sandwich by eating da sandwich fo reallio!

[lilswtangel]

somehow this thread has deviated away from its original topic......

[Halfass]

somehow this thread has deviated away from its original topic......

My bad. Roses for the lovely lady. ;-)

[Jscorpio]

Objection!

Counselor Jscorpio is badgering da sandwich by eating da sandwich fo reallio!

LOL!! You're crazy, Halfy..

[Halfass]

Well.... it takes crazy to know crazy, no?

[Jscorpio]

I blame it on the artificial intoxicant.. =P

[Halfass]

Damn Gina! It's da <i>alleged</i> artificial intoxicant, remember?

[Jscorpio]

Whatever.. Well I mean, It's the sub's fault.. One more late night snack and I could get addicted.. Teehee..

[Halfass]

Yeah, not to just da sandwich. ;-)

[Jscorpio]

Yeah, not to just da sandwich. ;-)

Uhm.. What does that mean??

[Halfass]

What Gina? What does what mean? SCOOP!

[Jscorpio]

What Gina? What does what mean? SCOOP!

What you said.. You said, 'not to just the sandwich I would be addicted to'..

[Halfass]

Damn Gina! Did I fo reallio?

[Jscorpio]

Yes, you did..

[Halfass]

Oh. Otay then I did!

[Jscorpio]

**Sigh**

Okay.. What else would I be addicted to??

[Halfass]

I dunno, Ginaaaaaaaa! Hey maybe it's that one piece of leftover chicken crumb dangling from your bottom lip. Mmhmm.... as hungry as I am I was tempted to wait til' it fell so I could eat it myself. SWEET!

[Jscorpio]

Oops..

**Wiping my lips**

Is it gone??

[Halfass]

Nope! It's still there like it's embedded deep into the bottom lip. You know it's like a Janet Jackson mole. I could help you with it but on one condition. ;-)

[Jscorpio]

And that condition would be what??

[Halfass]

That the crumb belongs to Halfass. Deal? ;-)

[Jscorpio]

Okay.. It's a deal.. LOL!!

[Halfass]

*Gently wiping your soft lip with Kleenex Ultra Soft*

Yep, all gone now Gina. Though I can't blame da crumb for hanging as long as it could. If it were me resting on your bottom lip I wouldn't be in too much of a hurry to leave, either. That is, judging from the evidence presented to the court.

[Jscorpio]

And that evidence would be??

[Halfass]

That your lips are always moist and wet, Your Honour.

[Jscorpio]

Is that right??

[gnossienneslent]

You know that MSN exists for this balderdash...

[Halfass]

Ooh yeah... that's right Gina. ;-)

[Halfass]

You know that MSN exists for this balderdash...

Damn Gina!!

[Jscorpio]

Halfass,

Do you think your buddy, Danny, is going to stay friends with his ex?? Just curious..

[Halfass]

For real who on earth would want to stay friends with their ex? Do you?

[Jscorpio]

I do..

why can't ex-lovers remain friends?? Why is it all or nothing??

[Halfass]

I do..

why can't ex-lovers remain friends?? Why is it all or nothing??

Yeah, maybe it would make things much easier in the dating world, but for real Gina, relationships rarely see mutual breakups you know like one person is usually the dumper, whilst the other muses on the breakup and pain for weeks, even months, etc etc.

Indeed I agree it's never easy to break up with someone you've shared good times with and even if they were bad times, they were still times. But to me wouldn't it be easier for the person who got dumped to move on with his/her life?

[Jscorpio]

You're just bitter and you refuse to accept the fact that it would be easier for your buddy to stay friends with her.. It's silly!!

[Halfass]

You're just bitter

Say what Gina? Run that by me again?

and you refuse to accept the fact that it would be easier for your buddy to stay friends with her.. It's silly!!

Yeah perhaps, in your perfect little world, the ideal would be for exes to succeed at being friends, but in one where bitterness, jealousy, passion, and human nature exceed reasoning and rational thought, it's impossible in my humble opinion!

[Jscorpio]

Say what Gina? Run that by me again?

You are B.I.T.T.E.R.!!

Yeah perhaps, in your perfect little world, the ideal would be for exes to succeed at being friends, but in one where bitterness, jealousy, passion, and human nature exceed reasoning and rational thought, it's impossible in my humble opinion!

Well Halfass, your humble opinion sucked!!

In my "perfect little world" there exist the dumper and dumpee together were the best of friends before, both broke up on the same terms in a perfectly mutual breakup, both have no qualms about seeing new people, and have both instilled a total honesty policy.. YES they can indeed stay as friends!!

[lincorp.com]

Wow you two really had a catfight going on today...this morning there was only one page to this thread, now theres five and most of it is filled with the two of you going back and forth...you two are just ruthless

To halfass and more importantly all the guys out there...this is exactly what happens when you try to argue with a girl...you will lose and lose badly...especially if they are ticked off and if you are unfortunate enough to have this happen during the wrong time of the month...RUN AWAY as fast as you can

[zyrene]

yah! last night theres only 1 page. amazing!

go scrpio or should i say gina.

[Jscorpio]

@lincorp.com

Uhm.. mate, can you provide empirical evidence to support your assertion without resorting to sexist attacks?

this is exactly what happens when you try to argue with a girl... especially if they are ticked off and if you are unfortunate enough to have this happen during the wrong time of the month...

[Jscorpio]

go scrpio or should i say gina.

Stop calling Gina!!

[Halfass]

Damn Ginaaaaaaa! You are the "empirical evidence" fo reallio!

[zyrene]

ohhh... sorry jscorpio or uhmm ahhh yah! jscorpio sorry.

[Jscorpio]

Damn Ginaaaaaaa! You are the "empirical evidence" fo reallio!

Eventually when you’re actually have something intellectually to contribute to the topic instead of just to act stupid, perhaps, I’ll try to catch it and comment..

[Jscorpio]

ohhh... sorry jscorpio or uhmm ahhh yah! jscorpio sorry.

Thanks, mate!! Teehee..