"I want a korean boyfriend"

Anhyong haseyo. Post Korean related stuff here.
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Néa Vanille
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Post by Néa Vanille » May 11th, '07, 04:57

nophankh wrote:OH to the girl that is gonna shack up with her Korean Bf, Don't do it.
One last time, his parents invited me to temporarily stay in their guest room. They are the most unconservative Koreans I ever met and they apparently don't consider it improper to help me start out my life in Korea and not slutty for me to accept it. It's not like we will share a room or anything. Now people, kindly stop trying to lecture me, especially if you have not read my posts very thoroughly (as I have written everything I just wrote before - in this thread, I always end up repeating myself half a dozen times for some reason. People might find my posts annoying and I don't force anyone to read them, but please, if you want to argue with me or lecture me, then you should read them).

Sorry if that came out rude, my patience on the isuee just sort of ran out. Don't feel personally attacked, please.

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Post by Pekana » May 11th, '07, 22:28

jinster wrote:Of course I do have a (short) list of what I look for in girls:

- The ability to cook (or the willingness to learn from my mom!).
- Buy me a shirt every now and then, my wardrobe becomes stale without a girl around.
- Be very huggable! Nothing turns me off faster than a person who responds to a hug coldly.

Hmm, that's about it. Oh yeah, cuteness is always a bonus, but if you can't be cute and mature it'll only end in heartbreak.
You're really not that picky. Or perhaps I've just had the luck to meet very picky people until now? :scratch: I don't think you should have trouble finding a girlfriend if those really are all of your criteria. The absence of a nicotine addiction, love triangles and cancer should be a plus in real life, though you can never know. :lol

On a more serious note, Néa Vanille, personally I have to say that I admire the amount of tact and patience you have been displaying throughout this thread.
I'm sure that if I would be in your situation, and some people who don't know me and don't even know the culture they're talking about (Admitting that one doesn't even know any Koreans and then still passing judgment?) would be dishing out advice, I would've blown a fuse long ago.
I wish you the best of luck for your life in Korea and for your relationship as well.

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Post by KAAdonkaDUNK » May 11th, '07, 23:23

Wow this thread is pretty funny.
But that halfkoreanyuja seemed like she was losing her apples. Girl seemed really rude. She doesnt need to be spending time with her husband, she needs to look around and see this world goes beyond her little opinions.
To the girl who was INVITED to stay with her boyfriend KUDOS to you. I personally think there's nothing wrong with staying with your boyfriend, but then again I'm from California, not the most conservative place in the world. but I digress
I think Korean boys are pretty adorable to. Hey I wouldn't mind dating one. With me it's not really about What they are but who they are. And if these dramas thought you anything, you should know love is pretty strong if the guy really did love you that much maybe the family wouldn't be able to stand in front of that. Loving someone means you cant live without them right..so if the guy breaks it off because off his family. That love probably wasnt strong enough to withhold anything. Maybe i'm getting too much into a fantasy world.
Altough I'm not Korean...I'm a mixed child myself. My grandma is a pretty conservative lady she didnt approve of my mom and dad but they married anyways and she eventually came around. I guess everyone will eventually come around.

P.S. haha jinster's silly.
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Post by doasan » May 11th, '07, 23:30

Isn't there ones which could said "I want a japanese boyfriend" ? :wub: :wub:
:O ah!! yesterday I was coming back home from the university and I saw a Korean (shh It was a korean for me xDD he looked like that...and he was so pretty!)

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Post by dejectionx » May 12th, '07, 04:54

Néa Vanille wrote:
kotaeshiranaihito wrote:
CallaLillieszz wrote:why does everyone think that korean guys are the hottest guys on earth..... honestly there are good looking one like the stars and sadly looking like our normal people...... typically i think they are ok..... i prefer the tawainese guys.....kakakak
It's not everyone, it's just the people on d-addicts because they don't really know anything about korea (most of them) or japan. The same thing allegedly happened in Japan with japanese girls being fascinated by caucasian men. From what I heard their basis was the western movies/shows that we send them (and never watch ourselves of course lol).
I live in Korea and I happen to think the reason why Koreans are the most desired Asian males is simply because they tend to be the tallest well-known Asian. I'm not claiming that they are the tallest Asians, period; however, they ARE significantly taller than the majority of people I saw in Japan and Taiwan, and according to official statistics, they are a good deal taller than the average Vietnamese and Thai as well. Given the many different people in China, I'm sure that a few groups of them will be taller than Koreans, but the thing is that they are not well-known among Westernised Asian drama fans.

Korean men, unlike Japanese or South East Asian men (I think.. though admittedly, I don't know much about South East Asia. Correct me if I'm wrong), also have to complete a mandatory military service lasting for over 2 years. During that time, their bodies achieve a level of fitness that is hard to find in any other Asian country I have visited and many stay fit well after their military service.

I actually met 2 German girls in Seoul who have completed half a year of Chinese language study in Beijing and have travelled extensively through China and Japan. They looked at me starry-eyed and said, "Korea is incredible. The country has Asian men with broad backs and shoulders!!"
Taiwanese guys can be quite tall. But my mom told me that a lot of the males from China are quite tall, too. I lived on residence this year and my University consists of 40% Asians. The taller males and females tended to be international students or those born from China or Taiwan. Four of my house mates were international students (three from China) and they weren't that short than the average height of Asians. I guess it really depends on where you were raised in.

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Post by jinster » May 16th, '07, 12:14

KAAdonkaDUNK wrote: P.S. haha jinster's silly.
I was gonna write something really witty and mature here but I saw your username and couldn't stop giggling to myself. Maybe you're right. :salut:

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Post by charming_khalela » May 17th, '07, 07:04

I find this thread really interesting.. I'd like to say I also want a korean boyfriend but too bad I'm already married :D so I just want a korean friend who will teach me the language coz I find it interesting.. and to Néa Vanille I hope you enjoy your stay in korea.. goodluck to you

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Post by mittens » May 17th, '07, 12:39

I had been reading the posts here and this seems to be an interesting topic. Well, I have to say that not all Koreans have the same personality and perspective. I'm currently working as an English tutor for Koreans and I have to say that there are a few who seem to be a little strict and bad but, many are very friendly and accomodating.

And about the KOrean boyfriend thing... uhm.. We have this mutual feeling going on between us- a korean guy and me.. hehe.. but, its quite sad though since he's going back to Korea already and I'll miss him.. he's a real gentle man, very kind and caring.. i'll miss him.. :-(

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Post by marvelous » May 19th, '07, 06:04

Damn Néa Vanille you still talking about your boyfriend?

I'm going to tell you like it is for Korean guys. I might be stereotyping but the usual stereotypes applies to most Asians as well. We don't like girls who are way obsessed with their looks. Girls who only care about money! Girls who are darker than us... Girls who are loud and too outgoing... We usually look for girls who we can bring home.

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Post by Néa Vanille » May 26th, '07, 05:52

marvelous wrote:Damn Néa Vanille you still talking about your boyfriend?
Yeah. Trust me, I'm very sick of it as well and would very gladly stop talking about it. I would very much appreciate it if people stopped contesting it and henceforth either kept personal comments to themselves or directed them at my PM box. And about that list, it seems very true to me. Look, we're agreeing for once! :-)

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Post by kobe23 » May 26th, '07, 14:58

I want a Korean boyfriend too :wink:

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Post by xiah1fan » May 26th, '07, 15:09

kobe23 wrote:I want a Korean boyfriend too :wink:
Hmm :scratch: ..Are u gay? Just asking.. :whistling: beacuse my friend who is sitting next to me want to know ...He dident wanted to use his acount to ask u...! :P

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Post by kobe23 » May 27th, '07, 13:20

xiah1fan wrote:
kobe23 wrote:I want a Korean boyfriend too :wink:
Hmm :scratch: ..Are u gay? Just asking.. :whistling: beacuse my friend who is sitting next to me want to know ...He dident wanted to use his acount to ask u...! :P
LOL! Just because I want a Korean boyfriend doesn't mean I'm gay! Erm...well ok, that DID sound a bit gay - Not that there's anything wrong with that :unsure: But yeah....I want a Korean boy (male) friend, so he can introduce me to Korean girls :D

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Post by nophankh » May 28th, '07, 05:42

Néa Vanille wrote:
nophankh wrote:OH to the girl that is gonna shack up with her Korean Bf, Don't do it.
One last time, his parents invited me to temporarily stay in their guest room. They are the most unconservative Koreans I ever met and they apparently don't consider it improper to help me start out my life in Korea and not slutty for me to accept it. It's not like we will share a room or anything. Now people, kindly stop trying to lecture me, especially if you have not read my posts very thoroughly (as I have written everything I just wrote before - in this thread, I always end up repeating myself half a dozen times for some reason. People might find my posts annoying and I don't force anyone to read them, but please, if you want to argue with me or lecture me, then you should read them).

Sorry if that came out rude, my patience on the isuee just sort of ran out. Don't feel personally attacked, please.
Oh, you're the girl. Firstly, no, I never read any of your posting. I don't know your story, I think my comment was not specifically addressing you. I think I was more so generalizing to girls that decide to shack up with their Korean bfs and knowing that their families are very conservative. From what you just said, it sounds fine to me.

I think you should just ignore lecturing comments from people because as the thread grows, it becomes less specific and more generalize. I personally don't keep up with this topic, most of us jump into the conservation without knowing the facts. NO one is gonna start at page 1 and read through till the last page and then add their comments. I usually address the most recent comments.

Don't feel as though you're being attacked because it's not really about you. Like I said earlier, as the thread grows, people are arguing about the topic and not specifically addressing anyone. I didn't know you were the girl until you quoted me. If you want it to some, just talk about something else.

Personally, I don't really care. Do what you want. It's your life.
I keep reading that you're going to Korea, sounds cool. have fun

End --

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Post by yieebo » May 28th, '07, 06:00

why?

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Post by yieebo » May 28th, '07, 06:01

:idea:
Last edited by yieebo on Jun 1st, '07, 20:06, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by DMPA » May 28th, '07, 06:48

wow...there is actually a topic for wanting a korean boyfriend...i'm amazed. From my experience with a korean friend of mine is that they're super nice, goofy, and good friends, never let u down and just very plain and warm human beings...and u know what, i'm sure there is some that are a comlete opposite from my friend, but there's bad people all over the world. So if you want a Korean boyfriend, then you know what, totally respect ur wants (and to some, needs). and people are gunna say many things from THEIR experiences so the vest way to see if u REALLY want a Korean boyfriend is to get ur ass out there and actually DATE one, if you like it, good, if not, well then i guess it's just not ur luck, go for someone else, but what ever u do, NEVER GIVE UP UR DREAMS! geez, i could say it over and over again, but sadly it never sticks to me lol. well, i put my 2 cents to it, hope i didn't offend/made angry/unhappy anyone, if i did offend you then i'm sorry
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Post by karin-chan » May 29th, '07, 16:30

hmmm... there are Korean students in my university and not aLL of them are handsome and hot than expected [as in not the Looks of the korean actor yr deepLy inLove with]

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Post by shyme » Jun 26th, '07, 05:13

Hey there everyone.
New member here from the Philippines. Korean dramas are a big hit here and I got addicted to it. I'd love to have a Korean BF. We have lots of Koreans here but I don't really get to know them. Can somebody teach me how to approach a korean guy. How to make them your friend and what they are actually thinking if a girl comes up to them?

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Post by kimmy12 » Jun 28th, '07, 11:16

i want to have a korean bf too..but after i read this topic.it made me realised..they only marry of their own race.lol..it was just like in Kdrama..it tell you the truth.

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Re: It's alright ladies..

Post by punjaban85 » Jul 1st, '07, 19:03

jinster wrote:
Pekana wrote:Offering yourself as a sacrifice to the Korean boyfriend thirsting masses? :lol
I don't feel like I'm Korean enough though. I can barely speak and understand the language, I don't smoke and I don't get involved in bizzare love triangles nor does anyone in my family have cancer.

I'm not too picky about the race of the girl, and my parents allowed my older brother to marry a half-Japanese/half Chinese girl so they seem cool for anything.

Of course I do have a (short) list of what I look for in girls:

- The ability to cook (or the willingness to learn from my mom!).
- Buy me a shirt every now and then, my wardrobe becomes stale without a girl around.
- Be very huggable! Nothing turns me off faster than a person who responds to a hug coldly.

Hmm, that's about it. Oh yeah, cuteness is always a bonus, but if you can't be cute and mature it'll only end in heartbreak.


hahaha you're answer is soo funny.. am just reading all the comments and seriously LMAO..lol...
i want a K boyfriend too..lol..But only if he's hyun bin :roll :wub:

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Post by littlemafia » Jul 3rd, '07, 11:35

i think many want korean bf becoz they addict to korean drama+stuff mb.. :lol
every1 hv their dream...
just in case u hv friendship with korean friend n wanna make relationship..
make sure d boy really want u.. d boy will try harder to convince their parents.. in case their parents against d outsider future wife..

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Post by Néa Vanille » Jul 3rd, '07, 12:13

Found some interesting statistics:

http://www.asian-nation.org/interracial2.shtml

Out of 1.5 and 2nd generation Korean males, only 63.2% marry Korean. 63.2% is still a high number, but it's not significantly higher than that of Asian American males of other ethnicities. In fact, the study shows that Korean-American males are in fact more likely to outmarry than Chinese, Indian and Vietnamese men.

It would be kind of screwed up if Korean men weren't opening up, what with almost 50% of Korean-American women marrying white guys. :P

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Post by O-Range » Jul 3rd, '07, 13:00

I'm black and I really love asian things, people and cultures, even languages :wub: (dramas rocks!!!!), and I think that the blacks and asians make beautiful children, take for example Amerie she is really beautiful half black and half korean. Well I think one of the best in the world is mixing, because people can relate to each other. As for if I want a korean BF...mmm... it depends, but where not in a drama here lol. If it a yes I want a guy like LEE DONG WOOK (*sigh*, is married!!! Wooot!). LOLZZZ. :lol

I want to look like her!!!!
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Post by cjgohan2003 » Jul 6th, '07, 12:55

Holy crap, what a long thread :lol

Although i have a question for nea; no offense, but it feels like with all these statistics, it seems like you're trying to justify your relationship as "normal".

It sounds like i'm trying to be mean, but i what i'm trying to say is that, why do you need to have all these reasons and statistics? I'm sure you're with your bf because you like him, so it shouldn't even matter what everyone else thinks :-)

On the subject on interracial relationships, I saw a google ad on the bottom of this forum saying "marry a usa man, live your dream life in the us sell your soul for a couple of dollars! filipinas get in free blah blah blah". Urgh, who ever created that low budget ad should be shot. I don't care how poor you are, no amount of money should compromise what you believe in :glare:

Don't even get me started with filipinas' interracial relationship issues :lol

Enough ranting. :P

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Post by AshanishiLynn » Jul 6th, '07, 13:01

How come everyone wants a korean bf lol??

Is it because of the dramas??

No offense because I like korean guys too
but I know there aint no guys like that in real life

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Post by meep » Jul 6th, '07, 23:47

Just a little FYI, the Korean men you ladies are looking for use Korean as a primary language.

It would help to learn hangul.

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Post by itonobara » Jul 7th, '07, 08:20

groink wrote:Or how about this t-shirt idea: On the front, it'll say "I watch Korean dramas, and from it subscribe to the idea that, against any other form of logic, all Korean men are beautiful and basically the cat's pajamas. Therefore, a Korean man is the ideal one for me." And then on the back: "Aza Aza Fighting!"

I mean, if you're going to send a message out to the world, you might as well let it all out!

--- groink
LMAO - i want that t-shirt!

lol

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Post by itonobara » Jul 7th, '07, 09:44

there have been a lot of interesting points brought up....I think it would be hard to come to hard fast conclusions, ya?

Like the language/culture issue. :-) I'm eruo-american (i.e., white mutt :D :-) ) and a few years ago I got really into Japanese-korean dramas, culture, language, etc. At first, my parents (who are rather conservitive by american standards) were pretty confusued. they wern't quite sure what to make of it :blink . But after a few months of hearing my talk about my new fascination, I was in the mall with my mom, and she was like - "Hey, look at that cute guy - I wonder if he's japanese or chinese?" :O lol, now my mom is ALWAY scouting for cute asian guys- in the mall, at church, through friends, etc - even though I tell her that just because the culture intrests me, that doesn't mean I will only date asian guys. Truth is, my mom just wants to see me MARRIED. As long as I don't have premarital sex, she doesn't care what the race of the boyfriend is :sweat:


On the other hand, my little 6 year old sister recently asked me if I was going to marry a Japanese guy (I was watching a drama at the time, which sparked the conversation>) When I said it was a possibility, she quiet seriously said she didn't want me too! :goggle:

I was like, "Six is a little young to be racist! :sweat: " But when I asked her further, it turned out that - because her experiance was with my watching dramas, and the dramas are in japanese - she was afraid the guy would only speak japanese! LOL. When I assured her I would teach any future husband english, if neccesarry, she was quite fine with they idea :thumright:

.....a few days later, she annouced that she "liked lee jun ki" :sweat:

I guess, my pooint is - like others have been saying, it's going to be different based on who the individuals are. With my family, language and religion are important - race and nationality really aren't.


One more thing - some people said that if the guy REALLY liked the girl, he would stick up for the relationship. I agree. My younger brother, who was 20 at the time, started dating a 27 year old divorced women with 3 kids ( the oldest was 10!). He lived in another state, so we hadn't met her, but - My parents hated the idea at first. They thought he was too young, and taking on 3 kids, and a divorced wife, etc - they just didn't like it. Then my brother proposed. Within a month, my dad went to california to meet her and her kids, bringing stuffed bears for the three girls. Why? Well, I remember him telling my mom "If Billy goes through with it and marries her, these will be our grandkids....do we really want to be alienated from them? We raised him, maybe we should give his choice a chance."

My brother has now been married for over a year, and added a fourth little girl to the family. My mother adores his wife Suzy and her children - in fact, she will verbally blast ANYONE - including Suzy - who refers to the girls as anything but her grandkids. LOL. They may be an unorthadox couple, but are very happy, and now my family has all but forgotten they didn't like the idea at first. .....sometimes, you'd think THEY came up with the idea! maybe not all family will adapt and accept a foreign/older/whatever spouse, but they smart ones will realiaze that family is more important than social prejudices.

.

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Post by itonobara » Jul 7th, '07, 19:43

nophankh wrote:
I think you should just ignore lecturing comments from people because as the thread grows, it becomes less specific and more generalize. I personally don't keep up with this topic, most of us jump into the conservation without knowing the facts. NO one is gonna start at page 1 and read through till the last page and then add their comments. I usually address the most recent comments.



End --
lol - I just had to say....

I did. ^^ I started at the 1st post and ended here ^^ lol

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Post by eegybur » Jul 8th, '07, 04:31

I'm not sure if this forum topic is even active anymore but:

Ok, so I read up to page 10 before giving up and skipping to page 22.
This thread is pretty amusing; people are seriously arguing over a girl's t-shirt idea.
Statistics are thrown around, personal experiences are shared, the occasional racist rants appear.

I'm Chinese American myself, so I suppose I'm exempt from the Asian fetish bias?
Funny, now that the Korean Wave has hit (and is almost over?Not very up to date about these things...), almost-everything-Korean is popular. And even Korean boyfriends have become a trendy "product"?
Lmao, I remember when I was younger (and when my family actually controlled my love life), my Uncle told me:
"Don't marry Korean men. they beat their wives if their wife isn't submissive enough. If you boy, I wouldn't mind you marrying Korean girl. But you are a girl, so marrying Korean is bad."
And I was like: "um............ok?"
This is probably kinda naive of me, but when I first meet somebody, I don't go: "Are you Korean?Chinese? Japanese? Irish? Greek?German?Indian?Mongolian?
Anyways
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure interracial marriages between Koreans and other ethnicities have been happening before the Korean wave. I just find it amusing that after this so called Korean wave, this kind of topics are commonly found.

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Post by dan12 » Jul 9th, '07, 22:50

my girlfriend whos been to taiwan says that the guys there are mostly wimpy, skinny, and very feminine?
iono if its true though

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Post by sunnydelightxP » Jul 13th, '07, 14:22

kmvaddicts wrote:Love reading this topic because eventhough it appears that the it's a little extreme, but it's true. Koreans rarely marry outside their race and they have a very traditionalist view on marriage.

Korean guys are like a very expensive piece of art. You fancy it, you dream about it, you drool at it, you wanted so bad to reach out and touch it, own it, be a slave to it, but it's not within your reach. You can afford it sometimes but you can't have it. :)

My roomate in college is European (Swedish) and she went out with this gorgeous Korean hunk. They dated for about 2 years and we all truly believe that they are a match made in heaven. In the end, this Korean guy broke it off not because he does't love her anymore, but because she does not fit into his traditional Korean family. My Swedish roomie felt so betrayed and I have always wanted to meet the guy again and give him a slap on the face!

Kang...wherever you are, if I ever see you again..... :cussing:
:lol oh my ... 2 years and broke it off already because of traditional background ? woww . :cussing:

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Post by vancouver927 » Jul 13th, '07, 22:59

eegybur wrote:I'm not sure if this forum topic is even active anymore but:

Ok, so I read up to page 10 before giving up and skipping to page 22.
This thread is pretty amusing; people are seriously arguing over a girl's t-shirt idea.
Statistics are thrown around, personal experiences are shared, the occasional racist rants appear.

I'm Chinese American myself, so I suppose I'm exempt from the Asian fetish bias?
Funny, now that the Korean Wave has hit (and is almost over?Not very up to date about these things...), almost-everything-Korean is popular. And even Korean boyfriends have become a trendy "product"?
Lmao, I remember when I was younger (and when my family actually controlled my love life), my Uncle told me:
"Don't marry Korean men. they beat their wives if their wife isn't submissive enough. If you boy, I wouldn't mind you marrying Korean girl. But you are a girl, so marrying Korean is bad."
And I was like: "um............ok?"
This is probably kinda naive of me, but when I first meet somebody, I don't go: "Are you Korean?Chinese? Japanese? Irish? Greek?German?Indian?Mongolian?
Anyways
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure interracial marriages between Koreans and other ethnicities have been happening before the Korean wave. I just find it amusing that after this so called Korean wave, this kind of topics are commonly found.

No offence to your uncle, but I absolutely hate those stereotypes. Having said that, I'm sure older Korean men have stereotypes about other cultures as well. Heck, I know it.

I would say interracial marriages are more common amongst Korean men born outside of Korea (especially adoptees), but most still probably marry either a Korean or Korean ethnic born in N.A.

You know I have to admit, I've sort of fallen into the "Korean wave" myself, even though I'm Korean, LOL. Before I used to have my hair very short, didn't give a **** about my clothing, and the only korean thing I paid attention to is how well the national soccer team did during their matches (this has been a constant since I was young). I was also more attracted to white women than asian women and wasn't overly concerned if I didn't eat korean food for days. I never used to watch korean movies or television.

Now I watch korean television, watch korean movies (rarely watch north american television), have my hair much longer, half my warddrobe is filled with clothes from korea, eat korean food the majority of the time, pay a lot more attention to my fashion (my mom worked in fashion for years but i guess it took a while for her to finally get to me, haha), am much more attracted to asian/korean women than white women. I went to Europe for 15 days last year and if I had gone 2 more days without eating Korean food I probably would have stabbed myself, lol. Before when I travelled to Korea, I felt it was some sort of duty I had to fulfill. Nowadays, travelling to Korea is something I totally look forward to, I have a much more open mind about how things work, I relax, I enjoy it and I don't feel obligated to do anything. I'm just there to enjoy myself and learn. And it's fun! It's a great place to go!

I wouldn't say this is attributed to watching Korean dramas, but probably more of a reflection of growing up, maturing and accepting who I am. And I feel happier...even though I still need subtitles to watch korean shows, LOL. *i'm a sad case i know...*

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vancouver927
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Location: Vancouver, Canada

Post by vancouver927 » Jul 13th, '07, 23:19

sunnydelightxP wrote:
kmvaddicts wrote:Love reading this topic because eventhough it appears that the it's a little extreme, but it's true. Koreans rarely marry outside their race and they have a very traditionalist view on marriage.

Korean guys are like a very expensive piece of art. You fancy it, you dream about it, you drool at it, you wanted so bad to reach out and touch it, own it, be a slave to it, but it's not within your reach. You can afford it sometimes but you can't have it. :)

My roomate in college is European (Swedish) and she went out with this gorgeous Korean hunk. They dated for about 2 years and we all truly believe that they are a match made in heaven. In the end, this Korean guy broke it off not because he does't love her anymore, but because she does not fit into his traditional Korean family. My Swedish roomie felt so betrayed and I have always wanted to meet the guy again and give him a slap on the face!

Kang...wherever you are, if I ever see you again..... :cussing:
:lol oh my ... 2 years and broke it off already because of traditional background ? woww . :cussing:

The thing I have noticed having travelled to Korea a few times is that society changes at a rapid pace. Compared to North America, the change that society goes through is at light speed. And North America is not necessarily the slowest place on earth I might add.

This also includes the concept of marriage. 20 years ago, around the time of the Seoul Olympics, divorce would have been a complete taboo. My mother got divorced about a year before and it was really hard for her.

Now people are getting divorced left, right and center. It's very common these days. And although it's not necessarily the most proudest moment of an individual, divorce is much more readily accepted in society. However it's still hard for a korean divorcee (female) to hook up with a never married Korean male. But I mean, I can't go on this topic forever.

The man doesn't neccesarily expect the women to do all the house chores anymore. Neither does the man expect the woman to stay at home and take care of the kids. My auntie in Seoul runs a daycare and it's freaking full....so there goes that theory of women staying at homes solely for the kids. That has completely been thrown out the window. It's not really feasible in this day and age anymore. And people accept that.
Sure you might have the occasional wifebeater, but that exists in any society. Hell it's still a plague in America or any Western country.

One of my cousins got recently married and she grew up with her sister and a single mom. She just married a guy with a 'stable" traditional family and that didn't seem to bother the parents when he asked for their consent. So society is changing and not every family is traditional. My mom spends every winter in Korea (she hates rainy Vancouver in the winter) and always mentions how fast people's attitudes are changing (some core values will never change though..we are our distinct culture after all)

Korea and Japan are probably the two most homogenous countries in the entire world. So in time, we will probably see a more worldly approach to relationships and marriage. You're already starting to see it with a lot of people from the countryside having to marry people from other countries (no girl wants to marry a farmer these days) and a more open attitude to bi-racial korean kids (although this still needs A LOT OF WORK). Change doesn't happen overnight.

kezsh
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Location: earth

Post by kezsh » Jul 15th, '07, 10:18

I have one right now and I am just so happy to have him... I don't care what other thinks.. He's just the most adorable guy I know...

2beautiful2lie
Posts: 3
Joined: Jul 6th, '07, 00:27

Post by 2beautiful2lie » Jul 16th, '07, 06:16

i want...

korean bbq and soju!

enough already! ^_^

Dharma
Posts: 1
Joined: Jul 27th, '07, 18:23

Joining in....

Post by Dharma » Jul 27th, '07, 18:38

Don't know if post is still go going, But I thought I would join the club.
I wouldn't say my last boyfriend but the last guy I dated was from Korean, Now I am spoilted for any other race, lol, joke.
but I had a thing for asian guys before hand. :wub:
I am planning a trip to korea and not sure if "I want a korean boyfriend" t-shirt would actually get me one?? heheh
well a girl can try!!!
I wonder if korean guys aren't "being allowed" to marry white woman, how does it stand for Black single female parents. lol
It didn't get in the way for my "EX". lol (dating)
You will have a race issue for everyone incuding black on blacks relationships,
I don't really know if it is more so for Koreans, or asian people.
I just hope that my heart doesn't get broken too often on the way to find my husband!! :D
:scratchchin:

bassv2
Posts: 1
Joined: Mar 7th, '06, 04:14

Post by bassv2 » Aug 21st, '07, 09:18

if you really cared for your korean boyfriend living from Korea,
tink about the **** he would get form Korean Society and his friends from marrying a white chick
Think about the **** your kids would get form Korean Society.

I dono about Korea but I think both parents have to be Korean Nationals in order for the child to be a Korean National.


Oh yeh,
Jus to let u know, the Koreans, generilization, "hate" the SE asians more than the white dudes.
If your Chinese or Jap, Tough luck.
WWII, Korean War. Go figure.

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Néa Vanille
Fansubber
Fansubber
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Location: Seoul, South Korea (whooooza!)

Post by Néa Vanille » Aug 21st, '07, 09:26

bassv2 wrote: I dono about Korea but I think both parents have to be Korean Nationals in order for the child to be a Korean National.
Nope.

Children born to a Korean and a person of another country hold dual citizenship until they come of age. Then they must choose one and give up the other. They can certainly legally be Korean nationals if they so desire.
My blog about my life in Korea:

www.neavanille.com

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pricheoza
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Location: Moscow

Post by pricheoza » Aug 26th, '07, 10:21

Néa Vanille, hi.
I read a lot of your posts!
I think u are a great person and i wish u good luck with your boyfreand in Korea. Hope every thin will be all right ^__^

*sorry, for my english :unsure:

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cebusnacker
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Joined: Nov 4th, '06, 02:54
Location: Canada

Post by cebusnacker » Aug 27th, '07, 09:17

korean06 wrote:
__yukari wrote:oh my goodness, no you don't want a Korean boyfriend! Unless you're Korean yourself. lol. I had a Korean boyfriend and he ended up breaking up with me because his family wouldn't let him MARRY a non-Korean. what the heck! We dated for a month! Who was thinking about getting married? Crazy!
koreans are very very conserative people....... You will find your "dream guy" so dont worry about it
is that rght are all koreans conservative? :blink
Image
Ruining my eyes with:mrgreen:: Hana Kimi e, Sore wa Totsuzen Arashi no you ni, Why Why Love, First Kiss, Time of Dog and Wolf<<OMG my fave drama!! :wub:

nophankh
Posts: 223
Joined: Jan 9th, '07, 08:11
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Post by nophankh » Aug 29th, '07, 08:33

cebusnacker wrote:
korean06 wrote:
__yukari wrote:oh my goodness, no you don't want a Korean boyfriend! Unless you're Korean yourself. lol. I had a Korean boyfriend and he ended up breaking up with me because his family wouldn't let him MARRY a non-Korean. what the heck! We dated for a month! Who was thinking about getting married? Crazy!
koreans are very very conserative people....... You will find your "dream guy" so dont worry about it
is that rght are all koreans conservative? :blink
Lets not generalized. I don't think that Koreans are that conservative. If you look at some of their films, it's very sexually graphic.

They're changing at a fastt rate. Granted homosexuality is a big taboo over in Korea, but I see some progress.

I don't think that America is conservative, but Europeans sure do.

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manasa_dong
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Post by manasa_dong » Sep 1st, '07, 02:45

I hope this hasn't died yet... but, it's such an interesting topic, I had to comment.
I am Korean American myself. And I admit, I skipped from like, page 10 to 22 and don't really remember seeing any Korean comments... but if there were some, sorry ;;

It's just, this topic made Koreans look a little horrible... and that's not true.

A lot of Korean women date and marry non-Korean men. And Korea guys, though it used to be more rare, are increasingly dating non-Korean women. Modern Koreans aren't really all that conservative anymore, and to say that all are, is certainly ridiculous. Korean families (primarily where BOTH parents are Korean) have a higher chance of disapproving of marrying outside of Korea blood, but that doesn't mean a guy won't marry a non-Korean. Korean males will go against their families wishes if they truly want to marry their non-Korean girl. Hell, even Korean girls are disapproved of because of status, etc.

I think, the major thing is mind set. A LOT of non-Asian people think Asian people simply aren't attractive (as in, attractive in a relationship mindset). They may say, "Yea, I think she/he's cute, but I'd rather date XXX." White people generally prefer white people, blacks generally prefer blacks, and asians prefer asians, etc. It's just a mind set, you're more comfortable and attracted (usually, not always) to those you're surrounded by, look like, and are raised being told "That person is ok.". It's not racism, nor is it prejudice, it's simply preference. I prefer other Asians to non-Asians, but that doesn't mean I totally discount non-Asians either.

And, take a look from the Korean guy's perspective. I dated a white girl, and her father hated me and told her I was a phase. "Date a nice white boy." It's not only Koreans, other races look down on intercultural relationships too. Asians just make it more vocal (lol, ever heard Koreans talk? We're loud people ;;). Her father would never tell me to my face he didn't like me, and I thought that was really low. I thought of it realistically. Her parents didn't approve, neither did mine, and really, we didn't have a lot in common and our worlds were totally different. I live in America and live both the American life and the Korean life, but she couldn't even grasp a little portion of how my Korean community worked. I realized it wasn't going to work out. I had to be realistic. We weren't going to work out because she didn't want to try and really UNDERSTAND my culture. I was giving a lot, and she wasn't giving anything. I'm not blaming her, she was a good person and tried her best, it's just that she didn't understand that in order to understand me, she'd have to throw away her biases and prejudices and understand my culture. She always said "Ew." or "WTF. You eat THAT?" or "What the hell are they doing?" I mean, dating someone culturally ignorant is really a turnoff. To be curious is one thing, to be looking down on one's culture is another.

A korean guy, yea, some just date a blonde girl for a trophy girlfriend, but it's also true that we play the bad guy role because we're being realistic. You don't want a girl who can't/won't understand you, who is probably richer (as a lot of Korean families start off poor) and can provide everything for herself (it really hurts a guy to think he's useless or not good enough for her), or because you realize you did it out of curiosity, and the biggest one. That she feels he's just a novelty. We're insecure too and to us, white people just date Korean men and leave them for white guys. It's the same story, on the other side. We're just as cautious and scared.

It might seem selfish and all, but it's mindset and cultural values/upbringing and self worth. You don't want someone to bring you down, or vice versa, someone who isolates you or becomes isolated, or someone whose just toying with you. I hope that gave a little insight into Koreans... it doesn't apply to all, but it's just a Korean guy's opinion.

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4everU
Posts: 359
Joined: Aug 24th, '07, 07:32
Location: USA

Post by 4everU » Sep 1st, '07, 12:58

warlock110 wrote:i didn't wanna say this, but this thread annoy the hell out of me. so i'm gonna say it anyways and i'm gonna be very straight, so it might offend alot of people.

have u ever think the reason is.... let say alot simpler than the "family tradtion problem"? have u ever thought maybe, just maybe you wasn't good enough? speaking from a guy perpsective, if a guy think u're worthy to pursue or that he really really like u. u gonna have to put about 20 families in front of him to make him stop going after u. this may sound hash but it's the truth. i think people are just blaming on something else to save their selfesteem. Myself i'm not great or good, i would even say underaverage, but atleast i see things through and through, making up excuse for your fault isn't gonna fix anything, get up and fix your own problem, it's not gonna go away by itself.

PS: i have a feeling i'm gonna get flame so bad for this haha.
oh, honey don't worry about it, it's true, but Koreans are not the only ones like that, moslty every race in the world has that type of tradition were the parents want their kids to marry their own kind.....and wut u said is true, if the guy really likes or loves u he would not break up with u, just think of it as a guy thing, even though he's korean, he's still a guy! LOL so don't worry no ones mad, u have the right to say wut u want.....^_____^

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4everU
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Location: USA

Post by 4everU » Sep 1st, '07, 13:03

manasa_dong wrote:I hope this hasn't died yet... but, it's such an interesting topic, I had to comment.
I am Korean American myself. And I admit, I skipped from like, page 10 to 22 and don't really remember seeing any Korean comments... but if there were some, sorry ;;

It's just, this topic made Koreans look a little horrible... and that's not true.

A lot of Korean women date and marry non-Korean men. And Korea guys, though it used to be more rare, are increasingly dating non-Korean women. Modern Koreans aren't really all that conservative anymore, and to say that all are, is certainly ridiculous. Korean families (primarily where BOTH parents are Korean) have a higher chance of disapproving of marrying outside of Korea blood, but that doesn't mean a guy won't marry a non-Korean. Korean males will go against their families wishes if they truly want to marry their non-Korean girl. Hell, even Korean girls are disapproved of because of status, etc.

I think, the major thing is mind set. A LOT of non-Asian people think Asian people simply aren't attractive (as in, attractive in a relationship mindset). They may say, "Yea, I think she/he's cute, but I'd rather date XXX." White people generally prefer white people, blacks generally prefer blacks, and asians prefer asians, etc. It's just a mind set, you're more comfortable and attracted (usually, not always) to those you're surrounded by, look like, and are raised being told "That person is ok.". It's not racism, nor is it prejudice, it's simply preference. I prefer other Asians to non-Asians, but that doesn't mean I totally discount non-Asians either.

And, take a look from the Korean guy's perspective. I dated a white girl, and her father hated me and told her I was a phase. "Date a nice white boy." It's not only Koreans, other races look down on intercultural relationships too. Asians just make it more vocal (lol, ever heard Koreans talk? We're loud people ;;). Her father would never tell me to my face he didn't like me, and I thought that was really low. I thought of it realistically. Her parents didn't approve, neither did mine, and really, we didn't have a lot in common and our worlds were totally different. I live in America and live both the American life and the Korean life, but she couldn't even grasp a little portion of how my Korean community worked. I realized it wasn't going to work out. I had to be realistic. We weren't going to work out because she didn't want to try and really UNDERSTAND my culture. I was giving a lot, and she wasn't giving anything. I'm not blaming her, she was a good person and tried her best, it's just that she didn't understand that in order to understand me, she'd have to throw away her biases and prejudices and understand my culture. She always said "Ew." or "WTF. You eat THAT?" or "What the hell are they doing?" I mean, dating someone culturally ignorant is really a turnoff. To be curious is one thing, to be looking down on one's culture is another.

A korean guy, yea, some just date a blonde girl for a trophy girlfriend, but it's also true that we play the bad guy role because we're being realistic. You don't want a girl who can't/won't understand you, who is probably richer (as a lot of Korean families start off poor) and can provide everything for herself (it really hurts a guy to think he's useless or not good enough for her), or because you realize you did it out of curiosity, and the biggest one. That she feels he's just a novelty. We're insecure too and to us, white people just date Korean men and leave them for white guys. It's the same story, on the other side. We're just as cautious and scared.

It might seem selfish and all, but it's mindset and cultural values/upbringing and self worth. You don't want someone to bring you down, or vice versa, someone who isolates you or becomes isolated, or someone whose just toying with you. I hope that gave a little insight into Koreans... it doesn't apply to all, but it's just a Korean guy's opinion.
hey ur absolutely right, it's all a preference, being with ur own kind usually u can get along better and understand each other, and it's just about what u really want ! ^____^

Soo Tom Chan-Kuk
Posts: 1
Joined: Sep 1st, '07, 23:06

The mixed British Korean

Post by Soo Tom Chan-Kuk » Sep 1st, '07, 23:21

Hey there everyone,

I'm a British Korean living in Norfolk, UK. Despite being part Korean I am also part British which I believe changes your attitude to marriage and both cultures. In Britain, people marry all sorts of different races and are perfectly happy. I'd agree with many people in this thread, the issue of divorce is becoming much more fluid. It's easier to divorce and (certainly in Britain) it's not so much of a taboo anymore.

I myself am a boyfriend to a girl who I wish to take back with me to Korea. I very much am in love with the culture, the country, the people and the ethics. As I was born in England, is it possible to essentially become 'Korean' once again if you settle and obtain a Korean passport? This I am not sure...

I feel very left out of a culture I could have been involved in having never been there but only watched it on television.
Sad
I can speak, read and write the language as well as English (of course).

If you have any questions, I would love to answer them!
Tom Chan Kuk

narushinyak
Posts: 17
Joined: May 15th, '06, 04:04
Location: Seoul, Korea

AHH

Post by narushinyak » Sep 8th, '07, 05:53

I am a male Korean.. and in my view, I think white girls wouldn't like to (or try not to) have a K-boyfriend (or Japanese) if they had a choice. White people and their thoughts of superiority..-_-;.. I have this white girl.. that I really like.. and whenever I am with her, I can't get rid of the feeling that white people think that they are better than us even though she constantly tells me otherwise XD. Plus, I keep thinking that I shouldn't be with a non-korean girl. Whenever I see Néa Vanille post, it reminds me of her.. cuz she kind of looks similar and thinks likewise lol

Anyways, to make it clear..Korean people (especially guys) usually have or supposed to have a big distance from foreigners. Constantly learning our history and all those dramas about olden times which is supposedly most popular in korea right now..just makes people think that we shouldn't be marrying foreigners. That's just our culture.. unlike North America, Europe etc.. we never kept any foreigners.. ancestors gave up their lives to keep our land for ourselves and we are supposed to feel proud of that.

I don't know how that got into this but anyhow..Yea.. just know that K-guys are supposedly after K-girls.. but then again I'm not..since i'm in love with a white girl >.< Ohh and there is nothing much special about us.. except we care so much about education and the fact that we watch dramas like you girls which makes us think that we are supposed to do that.. and we do.. lol No comment about the looks..

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Yul
Posts: 74
Joined: Apr 21st, '06, 06:50

Re: AHH

Post by Yul » Sep 8th, '07, 06:08

narushinyak wrote:I am a male Korean.. and in my view, I think white girls wouldn't like to (or try not to) have a K-boyfriend (or Japanese) if they had a choice. White people and their thoughts of superiority..-_-;.. I have this white girl.. that I really like.. and whenever I am with her, I can't get rid of the feeling that white people think that they are better than us even though she constantly tells me otherwise XD. Plus, I keep thinking that I shouldn't be with a non-korean girl. Whenever I see Néa Vanille post, it reminds me of her.. cuz she kind of looks similar and thinks likewise lol

Anyways, to make it clear..Korean people (especially guys) usually have or supposed to have a big distance from foreigners. Constantly learning our history and all those dramas about olden times which is supposedly most popular in korea right now..just makes people think that we shouldn't be marrying foreigners. That's just our culture.. unlike North America, Europe etc.. we never kept any foreigners.. ancestors gave up their lives to keep our land for ourselves and we are supposed to feel proud of that.

I don't know how that got into this but anyhow..Yea.. just know that K-guys are supposedly after K-girls.. but then again I'm not..since i'm in love with a white girl >.< Ohh and there is nothing much special about us.. except we care so much about education and the fact that we watch dramas like you girls which makes us think that we are supposed to do that.. and we do.. lol No comment about the looks..
Hey man if you love her so much.....go for it till the end even if that means breaking all the rules & the value......but make sure it's worth it & think ahead of time how UR life will be.....I mean how UR family, friends, socity will react about UR choice, where U will live the rest of UR life........do U garantee that U will be in love forever, or it's just a kick of adrenaline......I know many stories where after a simple fight, female tend to pack & went to their country where the rules of their country will prevent you from even see UR children ( this is if U decide to have children ).

In my own opinion, K-girlz are so adorable & cute.......if U open UR eyez big enough U will find the one.

Anyway this is UR life & don't let anyone decide for you......I know U want opinion & that's why U post her....but still it's better to get opinion from someone know U & her better than us.

Wish U all the best.....Keep us updated :thumright:

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adyhottie
Posts: 59
Joined: Jun 26th, '06, 17:31

Post by adyhottie » Sep 8th, '07, 06:18

im from the philippines, as we all know there are a lot of Koreans here studying English,
the other night, i went out with my friends for a drink.
and it turns out that my friend(guy) knew a bunch of korean hot guys from his
boxing work out that he introduced me to these korean guys..
They were so nice that they offered to pay for drinks and food..
and when they were introduced to me, they said "Kumusta ka?" in Filipino language which
means "How are you?" they shook my hand. I replied back saying "Anneyong haseyo!"
and they were both shocked to hear me say that.. they didnt expected me
to say hello in Korean (hangul), thanks to my female korean friends for teaching me and
also to my addiction to Korean dramas.. hehe..and i was in heaven when they said i was pretty..hahaha.
they're really nice guys.

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munkymp3
Posts: 11
Joined: May 30th, '06, 23:15

Post by munkymp3 » Sep 8th, '07, 06:28

Jeez ... I don't even know why race/ethnicity should even matter.
We're all humans. It's not like we're animals without values and morals.

:glare:
AVATAR: Hye Mi @ Dream High; created by karbeyaz @ LiveJournal.com

narushinyak
Posts: 17
Joined: May 15th, '06, 04:04
Location: Seoul, Korea

Re: :(

Post by narushinyak » Sep 8th, '07, 06:59

Yul wrote:
narushinyak wrote:I am a male Korean.. and in my view, I think white girls wouldn't like to (or try not to) have a K-boyfriend (or Japanese) if they had a choice. White people and their thoughts of superiority..-_-;.. I have this white girl.. that I really like.. and whenever I am with her, I can't get rid of the feeling that white people think that they are better than us even though she constantly tells me otherwise XD. Plus, I keep thinking that I shouldn't be with a non-korean girl. Whenever I see Néa Vanille post, it reminds me of her.. cuz she kind of looks similar and thinks likewise lol

Anyways, to make it clear..Korean people (especially guys) usually have or supposed to have a big distance from foreigners. Constantly learning our history and all those dramas about olden times which is supposedly most popular in korea right now..just makes people think that we shouldn't be marrying foreigners. That's just our culture.. unlike North America, Europe etc.. we never kept any foreigners.. ancestors gave up their lives to keep our land for ourselves and we are supposed to feel proud of that.

I don't know how that got into this but anyhow..Yea.. just know that K-guys are supposedly after K-girls.. but then again I'm not..since i'm in love with a white girl >.< Ohh and there is nothing much special about us.. except we care so much about education and the fact that we watch dramas like you girls which makes us think that we are supposed to do that.. and we do.. lol No comment about the looks..
Hey man if you love her so much.....go for it till the end even if that means breaking all the rules & the value......but make sure it's worth it & think ahead of time how UR life will be.....I mean how UR family, friends, socity will react about UR choice, where U will live the rest of UR life........do U garantee that U will be in love forever, or it's just a kick of adrenaline......I know many stories where after a simple fight, female tend to pack & went to their country where the rules of their country will prevent you from even see UR children ( this is if U decide to have children ).

In my own opinion, K-girlz are so adorable & cute.......if U open UR eyez big enough U will find the one.

Anyway this is UR life & don't let anyone decide for you......I know U want opinion & that's why U post her....but still it's better to get opinion from someone know U & her better than us.

Wish U all the best.....Keep us updated :thumright:
Well..I'm really depressed right now. I can't really talk to people who are close to me.. because I feel as if i'm betraying my close friend for a girl.
It's really complicated and is a long story but i'll make it short.. and wow.. I didn't realize untill now that those dramas really influenced me alot..keke

Yeah..I met the girl and my friend in Canada three years ago..and somehow me and my friend ended up being her two closest friends.
We both fell in love with her except he and she started gf/bf thing and I couldn't tell anyone about how I feel even her, so I became her friend..
Two years past.. she had to move to US and.. my friend went back to korea two years ago to earn money to move to US to be with her.
During last two months.. she came to Canada to visit twice..and I sort of ended up telling her how I feel..
Now she's back in US and my friend just moved to US.. they are together and she's not talking to any of us saying that she needs to be alone for awhile.

I watched too many dramas.. I figured I shouldn't betray my friend and I should never tell her or him how I feel and suffer myself just like in the dramas haha
These days, I find myself drinking and smoking like crazy as if that's what I'm supposed to do.. and I stopped trying to contact her as if I wait, she would eventually come to me and surprise me.. lol
False hope in my opinion.. it's been the longest two weeks. haha

I realized now, if there are any white girls out there who's actually interested in a K-guy, if you show interest in our culture and all..(food, music w/e you want)
all that stupid stuff about inferiority disappears and we come to appreciate you. We also end up trying to have a relationship like in the dramas..
like how we date/give presents/propose or pay everything for the girl thinking that girls are not supposed to be working..(they should just be happy XD)

Anyways, that's my story.. "a korean male". Just thought maybe I would share it since I couldn't talk to any of my friends.. >.<

mega_fanatic
Posts: 15
Joined: Aug 23rd, '07, 22:10

Post by mega_fanatic » Sep 8th, '07, 17:10

munkymp3 wrote:Jeez ... I don't even know why race/ethnicity should even matter.
We're all humans. It's not like we're animals without values and morals.

:glare:
amen sister. :salut:

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Post by mittens » Sep 17th, '07, 16:36

I have one right now. Actually, I didn't plan to have one it just happened.. And even if there are some people who would like to disagree about us being together, We Don't give a damn about them.. Korean or not, we are just 2 people falling in love with each other. I'm really lucky to have someone like him.. I'm Filipino.. He is Korean.. Our families have met and we're just so happy to be with each other... :wub:A piece of advice to everyone - racism and ethnicity maybe a wall to some but there's always another road.. sometimes it does matter but most of the time- when both of you are hitted then just grasp and enjoy the butterflies!

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Post by marvelous » Sep 22nd, '07, 12:51

munkymp3 wrote:Jeez ... I don't even know why race/ethnicity should even matter.
We're all humans. It's not like we're animals without values and morals.

:glare:
If life was that simple it wouldn't but it does.

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Post by marvelous » Sep 22nd, '07, 12:55

manasa_dong wrote:I hope this hasn't died yet... but, it's such an interesting topic, I had to comment.
I am Korean American myself. And I admit, I skipped from like, page 10 to 22 and don't really remember seeing any Korean comments... but if there were some, sorry ;;

It's just, this topic made Koreans look a little horrible... and that's not true.

A lot of Korean women date and marry non-Korean men. And Korea guys, though it used to be more rare, are increasingly dating non-Korean women. Modern Koreans aren't really all that conservative anymore, and to say that all are, is certainly ridiculous. Korean families (primarily where BOTH parents are Korean) have a higher chance of disapproving of marrying outside of Korea blood, but that doesn't mean a guy won't marry a non-Korean. Korean males will go against their families wishes if they truly want to marry their non-Korean girl. Hell, even Korean girls are disapproved of because of status, etc.

I think, the major thing is mind set. A LOT of non-Asian people think Asian people simply aren't attractive (as in, attractive in a relationship mindset). They may say, "Yea, I think she/he's cute, but I'd rather date XXX." White people generally prefer white people, blacks generally prefer blacks, and asians prefer asians, etc. It's just a mind set, you're more comfortable and attracted (usually, not always) to those you're surrounded by, look like, and are raised being told "That person is ok.". It's not racism, nor is it prejudice, it's simply preference. I prefer other Asians to non-Asians, but that doesn't mean I totally discount non-Asians either.

And, take a look from the Korean guy's perspective. I dated a white girl, and her father hated me and told her I was a phase. "Date a nice white boy." It's not only Koreans, other races look down on intercultural relationships too. Asians just make it more vocal (lol, ever heard Koreans talk? We're loud people ;;). Her father would never tell me to my face he didn't like me, and I thought that was really low. I thought of it realistically. Her parents didn't approve, neither did mine, and really, we didn't have a lot in common and our worlds were totally different. I live in America and live both the American life and the Korean life, but she couldn't even grasp a little portion of how my Korean community worked. I realized it wasn't going to work out. I had to be realistic. We weren't going to work out because she didn't want to try and really UNDERSTAND my culture. I was giving a lot, and she wasn't giving anything. I'm not blaming her, she was a good person and tried her best, it's just that she didn't understand that in order to understand me, she'd have to throw away her biases and prejudices and understand my culture. She always said "Ew." or "WTF. You eat THAT?" or "What the hell are they doing?" I mean, dating someone culturally ignorant is really a turnoff. To be curious is one thing, to be looking down on one's culture is another.

A korean guy, yea, some just date a blonde girl for a trophy girlfriend, but it's also true that we play the bad guy role because we're being realistic. You don't want a girl who can't/won't understand you, who is probably richer (as a lot of Korean families start off poor) and can provide everything for herself (it really hurts a guy to think he's useless or not good enough for her), or because you realize you did it out of curiosity, and the biggest one. That she feels he's just a novelty. We're insecure too and to us, white people just date Korean men and leave them for white guys. It's the same story, on the other side. We're just as cautious and scared.

It might seem selfish and all, but it's mindset and cultural values/upbringing and self worth. You don't want someone to bring you down, or vice versa, someone who isolates you or becomes isolated, or someone whose just toying with you. I hope that gave a little insight into Koreans... it doesn't apply to all, but it's just a Korean guy's opinion.
excellent post. :salut:

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Re: AHH

Post by marvelous » Sep 22nd, '07, 13:42

narushinyak wrote:I am a male Korean.. and in my view, I think white girls wouldn't like to (or try not to) have a K-boyfriend (or Japanese) if they had a choice. White people and their thoughts of superiority..-_-;.. I have this white girl.. that I really like.. and whenever I am with her, I can't get rid of the feeling that white people think that they are better than us even though she constantly tells me otherwise XD. Plus, I keep thinking that I shouldn't be with a non-korean girl. Whenever I see Néa Vanille post, it reminds me of her.. cuz she kind of looks similar and thinks likewise lol

Anyways, to make it clear..Korean people (especially guys) usually have or supposed to have a big distance from foreigners. Constantly learning our history and all those dramas about olden times which is supposedly most popular in korea right now..just makes people think that we shouldn't be marrying foreigners. That's just our culture.. unlike North America, Europe etc.. we never kept any foreigners.. ancestors gave up their lives to keep our land for ourselves and we are supposed to feel proud of that.

I don't know how that got into this but anyhow..Yea.. just know that K-guys are supposedly after K-girls.. but then again I'm not..since i'm in love with a white girl >.< Ohh and there is nothing much special about us.. except we care so much about education and the fact that we watch dramas like you girls which makes us think that we are supposed to do that.. and we do.. lol No comment about the looks..
Yeah lot of whites do feel that. They think they are somehow better and superior with their political clout when they aren't even anything special. Just their white skin. I've met some stupid Caucasian girls who don't even consider me human. They look at you like their pets. :crazy:

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Post by akitsuki » Sep 22nd, '07, 14:55

I am a French woman (I cannot say 'girl' anymore, too old... lol) and I find all this just too sad...

I understand very well how you seem, K-boys, to feel about white girls who want... let's say... an Asian BF for the novelty, etc. I've been interested since very young in asian culture, I confess that I don't know really many things but I am really curious about other civilizations than mine...

Em... sorry, I didn't tell, I'm white myself... but I always have been much interested in dating non white people, at a time, when I was young, I even almost hate white guys...

I fell in love with Japan culture when I was about 18, but at that time I didn't know much about it... It made me (later) learn a bit of japanese at college, I love learning foreign languages, it is a part of learning of another culture for me... One of my best friends was a korean boy adopted and raised by French parents, but at that time I didn't know much about Korea and was most of all in fond of Japan things...

I used to watch asian movies, but I discovered dramas last year and begin with japanese dramas, that helped me to see how 'real' (before that I only watched animes) japanese people live, etc... so interesting ! And how funny some can be !

And I found my first Korean drama, I think it was "Full house", and I really loved the sense of humour of asian people... wish I could learn Hangul and Chinese too...

Sometimes, I happen to think that I am an asian girl born with a white skin... too bad, but that's life...

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Post by ForYou » Sep 25th, '07, 22:20

Hello,

I couldn’t help but glance at this post being Korean myself. I’ve somehow managed to stumble upon D-Addicts and further to this post.

First off, I appreciate the fact that many people from different countries and ethnic groups are wiling to date us Koreans.

Some people may have mentioned this before, but I must say, if you’re planning on dating Koreans just because of the sole purpose of achieving an ‘ideal’ relationship such as those you’ve seen in dramas and movies, you’re going to be sadly disappointed. I know this may sound harsh and rather rude, but stop trying to replicate a relationship you’ve seen in a drama/movie. In most cases it’s not going to be identical and thus you’re just going to be seeking a fabricated, fictitious relationship which is a mere fixation of your imagination, bound by a restriction. LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE! So stop trying to live in a life of fantasy and wake up! (By no means am I telling you not to have dreams) -.-;

Not all Koreans are nice and charming as you’ve seen in many Korean/Asian productions. After-all, every country/ethnic group has its fair amount jerks/assholes/you name it. But if you’ve truly come to appreciate the many aspects of the Korean culture/heritage and truly aspire for a relationship, then go for it! I’ll be cheering for you all the way.

There also seems to be many misconceptions that all Koreans’ are conservative, which certainly is not the case. Although there is quite a proportion of us that are, people change as time progresses. I don’t know if this is just me because I’ve lived in Canada since I was little, but I wouldn’t mind dating other girls that aren’t Korean (I say this although I rejected many girls including Asians and have never date anyone as of yet, which I totally regret… T_T). However, many of my Korean friends which recently came to study in Canada are willing to date other girls that aren’t Korean as well. A few even find Europeans and other ethnics to be more attractive.

In some previous threads many people have said that some Korean family members/parents and friends are opposed to relationships that are not within their ethnic groups which causes many relationships to break up. If the two people were ‘truly’ in love and their parents were opposed to their relationship, I would assume they wouldn’t let this fact alone hinder them. They’d object their family traditions and fight back regardless. If the two didn’t, wouldn’t that just show how minimal their love for each other really was?

Anyways, as I’ve mentioned before, I’d don’t really know much about love because I’ve never been in a relationship as of yet. However, I assume it’s not something you can just pick up from a drama/movie or read from books as each individual case is different which makes it so perfect and complete. So don’t be bound by these restrictions such as family traditions (being conservative) and live your own life! ^-^

Sorry for my long rant, just thought I’d state my thoughts/opinions.

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Post by akitsuki » Sep 26th, '07, 12:34

>>For you : I totally agree with you, in France we have this kind of dramas too...:roll For me, it's just for the fun of watching asian ones and dream a little, but I perfectly know that's far from the true life... ;-)

I forgot to mention that I don't want a korean (or other) boyfriend because I am a married woman and my husband is part asian ! :mrgreen:

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Re: AHH

Post by Kirachi » Sep 26th, '07, 14:15

marvelous wrote:
narushinyak wrote:I am a male Korean.. and in my view, I think white girls wouldn't like to (or try not to) have a K-boyfriend (or Japanese) if they had a choice. White people and their thoughts of superiority..-_-;.. I have this white girl.. that I really like.. and whenever I am with her, I can't get rid of the feeling that white people think that they are better than us even though she constantly tells me otherwise XD. Plus, I keep thinking that I shouldn't be with a non-korean girl. Whenever I see Néa Vanille post, it reminds me of her.. cuz she kind of looks similar and thinks likewise lol

Anyways, to make it clear..Korean people (especially guys) usually have or supposed to have a big distance from foreigners. Constantly learning our history and all those dramas about olden times which is supposedly most popular in korea right now..just makes people think that we shouldn't be marrying foreigners. That's just our culture.. unlike North America, Europe etc.. we never kept any foreigners.. ancestors gave up their lives to keep our land for ourselves and we are supposed to feel proud of that.

I don't know how that got into this but anyhow..Yea.. just know that K-guys are supposedly after K-girls.. but then again I'm not..since i'm in love with a white girl >.< Ohh and there is nothing much special about us.. except we care so much about education and the fact that we watch dramas like you girls which makes us think that we are supposed to do that.. and we do.. lol No comment about the looks..
Yeah lot of whites do feel that. They think they are somehow better and superior with their political clout when they aren't even anything special. Just their white skin. I've met some stupid Caucasian girls who don't even consider me human. They look at you like their pets. :crazy:
Wow marvelous, that's kinda racist!
I treat every person i meet the same, if they are white, black or purple it wouldn't matter to me.
Yes, there are some very stupid people out there who look down on someone because of their race, it's horrid right? you've had it done to you right?
So, why on earth are you doing the same thing?
If you don't like it, don't do it to others!
Pot calling the kettle black!

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wow... i'm speechless

Post by lone_z » Sep 26th, '07, 14:50

i am a long time lurker. i have always read everyone else's comments and laughed or agreed with people. this is the first time i had the urge to say something. i am a korean-american living in seoul. i have lived here for 4 years now. i am really surprised at the preconceptions many have of koreans (and any other race/gender portrayed in these dramas). not everyone is misguided, but i wonder if some of you realize that these actors are protraying images in their roles. i don't want to burst anyone's bubble, but korean men are not that great. they/we are just like anyone else in the world. don't get me wrong... i love the fact that korean men are becoming more popular. :D take care to not put anyone on a pedestal.

and as for arranged marriages and marriages outside of our ethnicity... it's true some of our parents are wary of other races. mostly because they are afraid of communication problems between families. our parents are very old fashioned and are afraid of change. that's typical of older generations. however, if we do care and love the other person enough, our parents will see the light. sooner or later.

whew... that's a long post for me. well, i'm coming home to america soon so i'm leaving the motherland. for those staying, enjoy your time! see you stateside! :thumleft: cheers!

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So if im not a korean girl i couldnt get married w a korean

Post by Angye » Oct 7th, '07, 19:07

__yukari wrote:oh my goodness, no you don't want a Korean boyfriend! Unless you're Korean yourself. lol. I had a Korean boyfriend and he ended up breaking up with me because his family wouldn't let him MARRY a non-Korean. what the heck! We dated for a month! Who was thinking about getting married? Crazy!



:unsure: :unsure: oh my goshhhhhhhhh i love korean , i think they are so cute, kind, gentl, lovely , adorable.........i want a korean boyfrienddddddddddddddddddddd :cry:

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Post by cheyika » Oct 18th, '07, 16:46

lol ^^
this thread is kinda cute XD

ive had a lot of korean guy friends and yep, it is in their culture to marry koreans too
because it would be a disgrace to the family especially to the conservative ones and they are into spreading their breed.

cute, nice, lovable, funnyImage
but i think all guys still have their similarities for the fact that we were all created by God
it's just the same for me, anyways
maybe were just drooled by korean dramas XD
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Post by uhhhhhoooo » Oct 18th, '07, 17:12

if you want an Korean boyfriend just go to school at Cornell university. they come from everywhere. just walk around college town and you see a pack of them.

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Post by Yukumushio » Oct 22nd, '07, 23:12

Is it really commonly viewed that K-Boyfriends are nice and kind and stuff? I thought that was for all good bf's...

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Post by ktrekkie » Oct 27th, '07, 07:54

OMG

i've been lurking this thread all night.... and i'm heart-broken...

my boyfriend is full korean...the oldest male...and i'm guyanese/white...the farthest thing from korean or anything asian..

he hasn't introduced me to his parents yet.i think he told them about me... but im not sure...i know that they are strict ..not just with who their kids date..but in general...and well...i guess i didn't really know korean families were THAT strict about this kinda stuff...but then again he's known to be the rebellious one in the family (and his older sister apparently)..and he did introduce me to his other sister...and she had NO problem with me..and he's really white washed..he was born in seoul and moved here to canada when he was VERY young...

i guess its just a shock for me cause ive grown up in such an interracial family...and i live in toronto..EVERYTHING here is interracial...it's just so..unheard of to be pressured to stick with your own race...and...it's just so sad...cause i love him so much..and i KNOW he loves me alot too...i just hate thinking that us getting serious is going to possibly be a problem with his parents...and maybe i gotta ..watch out..and keep my feelings from getting hurt...ugh ...i know if anything happens though..he'll fight for us :)

but, i'm scared :(

but who knows what'll happen, i guess..maybe i shouldn't worry

okay, i'll stop rambling now lol

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Post by Angye » Oct 27th, '07, 14:25

oh my gosh, i hope everything is getting better there..wow its hard also complicated, even this century we still strugles with those kind of prejudice....i would be so scared too specially if he is the man who i love...i know families are very important, over all they have to support us, i know korean families are expert on that

something that i really love about korean, well asian in general ...they are loyal and faithfullllll and we dont see that much here

But in your case if your boyfriend grew up in canada , he should be an open mind, of course he loves you , he will fight for your relationship, a it doesnt mean that he would be a rebel, rebellious...thats love and hard situations are part of this

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Welll....

Post by han_mei » Sep 22nd, '08, 02:40

It's been a while since anyone posted, but I want to add my say [and it might be a long one].

eegybur - I did read all the posts until now XD haha

Anyway, speaking of bizzare racial combinations, I am half chinese half kurdish [middle eastern]. I look mostly chinese, (Ironically, my mom and friends said I looked korean :o) But since my parents divorced when I was young, and my dad was bat**** insane, I was raised by my mom [who is chinese].

Because of that, I view myself as chinese, eat chinese food, understand most of chinese culture, and the only family I know aside from my main family all live in Malaysia [my family imigrated from Taiwan during WWII apparently to Malaysia though, so my mom said we *are* 100% chinese ^^;;]

Also ironically, when I asked my mom about me dating korean men, she said the same thing someone else's family said: they're abusive and so on and so forth. I thought that was funny in a weird way.

My point is that because I was basically raised chinese, [I speak some mandarin, a few phrases in malay, hokkien and cantonese] I view asian characteristics as being the most attractive to me. I have never had a boyfriend before though [not even a first kiss :(], so I can't say my own personal experiences with korean, or even asian, men for that matter.

But I can understand why families would want you to stick to your own nationality, or close to it. My mom basically agreed; it's simply easier to have similar cultures, languages, and values. There's less disagreements and misunderstandings. I don't think race should matter in terms of love and relationship, but with some people, growing up in strong nationality based homes [like asian cultures, that basically view everything as being part of who they are - my own experience there X)], it can affect what they want in a partner - looks, personality, clothing, whatever.

Again, I don't want misunderstandings on what I mean - I'm only trying to point out what I've learned in my life.

On a side note, people tend to look down on bi-racial kids even here. The other day, I was with my mom in a canto bbq place, and the lady bascially asked her in canto that I don't look full chinese, so what else am I? My mom got pissed and just refused to answer her.

I've also had people ask me if the reason I'm smart is because I'm asian. :cussing: Yeah, I tore that girl a new one three ways. I don't care how many times you try to expain that was only ignorance - some people need to learn to be SMART enough to realize what their questions sound like.

Haha - sorry for the rant.

Hopefully this is somewhat relavent to the thread.

[on a sidenote, thats me in my icon]

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Post by infundibuliform » Sep 23rd, '08, 00:39

I was at Universal Studios this summer and for the entire time I was waiting in line for Jurassic Park, not one but TWO cute Korean boys were in front of me speaking in Korean. and I think they were actually from Korea too, because one was messing with the stretching wire thing to keep the lines in place, at the wire got out of its pole, but I picked it up for before he did and he apologized. Wonderfully accented English. I was like, "Say it again! Say it again!!!" hahaha

I have a friend who is Chinese, she speaks Cantonese (when my friends found out, we asked how to say the most random things. like one asked how to say "I am a Chinese person" and she is. not. Chinese. haha), and we were talking about what our mothers tell us about guys. And she was saying her mother kinda cornered her and said, "You like Chinese boys, riiiiiiight?" It was funny how she said it, but fear the mother! haha

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Post by Yessy89 » Sep 23rd, '08, 00:53

Oh wow! I want a korean b/f!!! Like that guy from Coffee Prince or My Girl, not the 'cousin' but the other one! :D

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Re: heyah

Post by Hamowangsta » Sep 23rd, '08, 01:17

wel just a compliment...Korean people are blived tuh b da cool luking Asians...

danx :D
cheers
Kirachi wrote:
marvelous wrote:
narushinyak wrote:I am a male Korean.. and in my view, I think white girls wouldn't like to (or try not to) have a K-boyfriend (or Japanese) if they had a choice. White people and their thoughts of superiority..-_-;.. I have this white girl.. that I really like.. and whenever I am with her, I can't get rid of the feeling that white people think that they are better than us even though she constantly tells me otherwise XD. Plus, I keep thinking that I shouldn't be with a non-korean girl. Whenever I see Néa Vanille post, it reminds me of her.. cuz she kind of looks similar and thinks likewise lol

Anyways, to make it clear..Korean people (especially guys) usually have or supposed to have a big distance from foreigners. Constantly learning our history and all those dramas about olden times which is supposedly most popular in korea right now..just makes people think that we shouldn't be marrying foreigners. That's just our culture.. unlike North America, Europe etc.. we never kept any foreigners.. ancestors gave up their lives to keep our land for ourselves and we are supposed to feel proud of that.

I don't know how that got into this but anyhow..Yea.. just know that K-guys are supposedly after K-girls.. but then again I'm not..since i'm in love with a white girl >.< Ohh and there is nothing much special about us.. except we care so much about education and the fact that we watch dramas like you girls which makes us think that we are supposed to do that.. and we do.. lol No comment about the looks..
Yeah lot of whites do feel that. They think they are somehow better and superior with their political clout when they aren't even anything special. Just their white skin. I've met some stupid Caucasian girls who don't even consider me human. They look at you like their pets. :crazy:
Wow marvelous, that's kinda racist!
I treat every person i meet the same, if they are white, black or purple it wouldn't matter to me.
Yes, there are some very stupid people out there who look down on someone because of their race, it's horrid right? you've had it done to you right?
So, why on earth are you doing the same thing?
If you don't like it, don't do it to others!
Pot calling the kettle black!

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Post by JC » Sep 23rd, '08, 01:27

*LMAO* @ this topic.
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Post by FoolyDooly » Sep 23rd, '08, 11:44

Korean boyfriend? D: give up? XD I'm saying it as M/South Korean/19. :P
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Post by selma » Sep 24th, '08, 18:36

I want a Korean boyfriend like Gong Yoo or Lee dong wook

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