homestay guy in our house commit suicide-crazy

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joewong
Posts: 37
Joined: Dec 7th, '08, 04:46

homestay guy in our house commit suicide-crazy

Post by joewong » Jan 12th, '09, 04:58

he was introduced to us by my uncle's friend of a friend. and my moms loves extra income and we had a extra room in our house. so we agreed and it was close to his school too
the guy's from HK and he came in nov.i think hes only been in canada since sept. well yesterday i saw a ghost cop car close to our house. i tried to get my key to open the door , but the door was open and i yelled as i got inside hey mom the door is open ya now. i just got home from work. well my mom told me cops are downstaris in our house. i asked my mom what happened ,but she wouldn;t give me a straight answer. just ah ya cops are downstairs with homestay guy.well my that was all i got. uh why didn;t she just give me a straight answer
i thought the guy probably was OD on drinking or maybe was in trouble with selling drugs or punched someone....etc


so when i finished eating i went downstairs and asked the coroner what happened . well the cop or coroner told me how i knew the guy, and i told him he was a homestay guy and how i barely even now him. the coroner told me the guy committed suicide in our house(in his bedroom) by hanging himself. no wonder the day before he didn;t even open the door or even answer when my mom bought him food.if we knew i would have stopped him or did something. but i mean you never suspect a guy would even commit suicide. i mean i thought he didn;t open his door b/c he was out at a friends house, listening to music with his earphones on, or just sleeping. i believe the door was locked or he blocked the door.
i'm not even sure why he did it.

he was a young 18 i believe , very quiet guy, never spoke to any of us. either said yes or no. even when you said hello to him he never said anything back. smoked like every hour even during the middle of the night. always looked down when walking and never made eye contact. looked exactly like the undertaker from wwf if any of you guys now. (the way he walks and eyes)
he even punched the wall in our house for some odd reason. we never confronted him about that, but we saw punch and damaged marks. he always just stayed in his room and never seemed to leave his room except for school. even when you wanted to talk to him, he wouldn;t talk to you.

the room he lived in is like close to mine , but there a door seperating it. i don;t even go into the washroom that is close to his room , i go upstairs now. its just spooky, creepy and scary.

i'm just glad the guy didn;t burn our house down, or kill any of us. who nows. i talked to the coroner who came, and told em about what i knew about the guy. and the coroner said he probably has a mental illness. who would have knew this would have happened. i mean its crazy. aren't most overseas students happy to be studying aboard. i mean you get to learn a new culture, new food, its kind of like travelling.

oh ya is this a cultural thing too. my parents told me not to tell anyone about this, not even my closest friends about it. even the neighbour asked my folks about what happened , and my dad just told him that nothing happened.
i mean whats the big deal , just tell em what really happened. i mean why hide this and that. it happened and it happened. its not like its our fault. even the cop told me it wasn;t our fault and we couldn;t do anything about it.
is it true if someone now a house had someone die in it the price would go down in value or something . i doubt that though

yes crazyyy and scary too.

Sny
Posts: 45
Joined: Feb 2nd, '06, 04:44
Location: TX, USA

Post by Sny » Jan 12th, '09, 05:41

Oh goshhh... this story definitely makes me change my mind about renting my other bedroom to anybody.. aggghh...
I think the value of the house won't go down since it's a suicide, nothing to do with a crime. But, I don't know..
I think your parents try to keep it a secret, since they don't like anybody to create a rumor about this. You know, small thing can lead to a bigger (different) story once people start gossiping.

aquala
Posts: 17
Joined: Feb 4th, '07, 07:16
Location: Canada eh!

Post by aquala » Jan 12th, '09, 06:33

I guess it depends on the person and how ready they are to adapt to a new environment. Not everyone would be happy studying abroad, especially when you're away from the familiarity of friends, family, and your day to day culture. Some are great at adjusting and accept new experiences readily, others take more time, and some just find it too overwhelming and give up. Mind you, he might have had great pressure from home to succeed with school/work, and as the coroner mentioned, he was probably mentally ill and needed help but just didn't know it. It's a sad story overall.

ethidda
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Post by ethidda » Jan 12th, '09, 09:20

I don't mean to rain on your self-pity parade and all, but don't you think you're being a bit callous? A person--somebody's beloved child who was carefully sent abroad and living away from family for the first time, by all accounts--just died when he was young and had a full life ahead of him, and all you could notice was your house? About how the value of it would go down? I think that unlike you, your parents do feel shame and embarrassment that somebody who has been living with you has committed suicide, and is why they would not like for you to tell anybody. With homestay students, the homestay parents are supposed to be the substitute parents. (At least, that's how it was every time I've participated in homestay programs.)

I'm not saying it's your fault. Almost everybody who's suicidal is clinically depressed. However, there should have been signs. You mentioned he was a person of few words. Have you ever seen him with any close friends? Pictures of people he cares about? He's lived with your family for two months! He walked in the same corridors, ate meals with you, and slept under the same roof... and yet you openly admit to barely even knowing him. I've had house guests (and yes, my family hosts students sometimes, too, but usually short-term and unpaid) for 3 days and become friends with them.

In the end, though, some people could not have been helped anyway. I know somebody who has friends and a loving family and yet has attempted suicide many many times. You should not blame yourself for somebody else's choices, but I think a little more consideration and respect for a life lost would've been appreciated.

P.S. If his family forced him to study abroad, then he wouldn't have been happy.

bbjin
Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 14th, '09, 18:51

Post by bbjin » Jan 14th, '09, 19:44

I agree. If he had been forced to study abroad, or maybe his whole life he was molded into doing what his parents wanted him to be, then I could understand somewhat. It may have also been that adjusting to a new environment had caused him to become mentally disordered, thus leading to his conclusion. Like at my college, most students that needed counseling were mostly those living far away from home or at the school dorms.

As for letting the neighbors know about the event, I think it's unnecessary. What could they do if they knew? Speak ill of his death? Boast about how their family is not like that? Gossip and spread rumours to make the homestead family and the victim into something they're not? I would keep silent to prying eyes wanting a story for their own selfish reasons, like entertaining themselves during meals with a story entailing a brokenhearted boy who met death by his own hands.

Retro
Posts: 7
Joined: Nov 16th, '08, 20:17

Post by Retro » Jan 15th, '09, 00:51

Show some bloody respect.
Someone commits suicide in your house and the
first thing you do is go blabbing about it on the internet....

And it seems we've also got some budding psychologists here...

People make me sick

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