My Love Situation...

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ik0n
Posts: 116
Joined: Dec 4th, '08, 06:05

My Love Situation...

Post by ik0n » Dec 11th, '08, 15:38

Hey everyone, get at this... and tell me what do you think of it.

I was going out with this girl for over an year and half and we broke up in August 2008. Here's my story and tell me what would you do if you were in my place.

Okay so we met back in 07 and I already had a crush on her at first-sight. She used to come to the basketball center where I play and the more she came there the more I started talking with her, we would spend days and nights talking for hours. Months later we both hooked up ... 2 months while going through our relationship she told me that she was originally after my best friend and she wanted to get to him through me but after got to know me she fell love with me. That crushed me because she even said that she wasn't sure about our relationship for 2 months, but you see it was the other way around for me... I loved her from the beginning. And she even told my best friend how she felt about him and without thinking the fact " Don't ever back stab your best friends " him too he put feelings on her while she was with me for over an year and half. So after all those months passed we broke up due to many problems such as arguments, jealousy etc etc. A week after I broke up with her, she and my best friend hooked up and they are couples now ... me and my so called best friend that I known for over 5 years and even everyone know that how close we are don't even talk no more.

What a story huh, what would you do in my situation? :(

Lemonadeee
Posts: 1
Joined: Dec 11th, '08, 18:03

Post by Lemonadeee » Dec 11th, '08, 18:17

If I were you, I would rather find ways to turn my life back to normal. It's not easy to get over this situation in a day, but "time will heal everything." Just give yourself sometimes. Most people might have experienced this similar situation like you, but if they can get over it, you can too.If you look at this situation from another perspective, you will see that this is just a lesson that will make you a stronger individual both in love and in life. :thumright:


Sorry to say, but your so called "gf" and "best friend" do not deserved you. At the very beginning, she already had the intention to use you as a way to get to know your friend. Just after you guys broke up, your friend and her become a couple? :scratch: That's way to fast for them. If you and your friend no longer keep in contact with each other, then just let it be. You have done nothing wrong, so there isn't anything for you to feel sad about. Just move on with your life. There are many girls out there for you. A great guy like you will find a girl that will love you as much as you love her.

GOOD LUCK! :cheers:

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ik0n
Posts: 116
Joined: Dec 4th, '08, 06:05

Post by ik0n » Dec 11th, '08, 21:53

Lemonadeee wrote:If I were you, I would rather find ways to turn my life back to normal. It's not easy to get over this situation in a day, but "time will heal everything." Just give yourself sometimes. Most people might have experienced this similar situation like you, but if they can get over it, you can too.If you look at this situation from another perspective, you will see that this is just a lesson that will make you a stronger individual both in love and in life. :thumright:


Sorry to say, but your so called "gf" and "best friend" do not deserved you. At the very beginning, she already had the intention to use you as a way to get to know your friend. Just after you guys broke up, your friend and her become a couple? :scratch: That's way to fast for them. If you and your friend no longer keep in contact with each other, then just let it be. You have done nothing wrong, so there isn't anything for you to feel sad about. Just move on with your life. There are many girls out there for you. A great guy like you will find a girl that will love you as much as you love her.

GOOD LUCK! :cheers:
Hey, that was a really nice advice from you. Yes your right, there are many girls out there that I'm sure I will find one day and will treat her better than ever. Plus I'm young, guess I still have a long-way to go. Still thank you for your support and advice, I'll make sure to follow em. :)

tinkerbellz
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Joined: Dec 11th, '08, 07:55
Location: Singapore

Post by tinkerbellz » Dec 12th, '08, 02:43

hey cheer up... u desrve someone better. like Lemonadeee said, ur 'gf' and 'bestfriend' does not deserve you.

carry on with your life as per normal.. show them that you are capable even without them.
r u still schling? if so work hard in your studies and things that you excel for. fret not, you will meet someone better along in your life as you are still young.

all the best in your life =P

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ik0n
Posts: 116
Joined: Dec 4th, '08, 06:05

Post by ik0n » Dec 12th, '08, 03:34

Hey, yeah.

I'm doing alright right now, just keeping up with things I do and yes they don't deserve me at all. :) Also, I'll be just waiting till I find the right one again. After all, good things come when you least expect it right . xD

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Ootori Kyouya
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Joined: May 28th, '08, 19:01

Post by Ootori Kyouya » Dec 13th, '08, 18:04

*Sigh*...I wish people here can offer you some better advice to you because that's not going to help you. Those are not advices...it's more of a shallow words of encouragement.

Here are some tips you should think over...

1. There is no such thing as Love in first sight - In this era, looks are very deceiving. Women may look all nice and sweet, but they can have an alternative motive. It could be for money, popularity, or in your case, go after your ex-best friend. I'm not saying it applies to all women, but there are quite a few that seek a relationship for other purposes than love.

2. Don't let your guard down - Prepare for the worst. It may not happen but you need a contingency plan to minimize the damage. I don't know how many months you talked to her before you dated her, but you should have been more careful. I'm not saying you should be a cynic...I'm saying don't be so naive and believe everything in face value.

3. Background check - Research is important. You should have asked around people who may have known about her. As I said earlier, everything in surface is not what it seems. You could have talked to people around the basketball center or maybe her friends after you just started dating her. The reason for this is to make sure you get assurance for your instinct. It is to confirm that it will not lead to a devastating heartbreak.

4. Learn from this experience - Now, when I mean learn from it, I don't mean you should assume all girls will leave you for a friend of yours. What I am saying is that you may have been careless, reckless, or in this case, naive. In order to not get hurt again, try to find what you think you did wrong and right. The blame mostly rests on her...but that doesn't mean you don't have flaws of your own.

Lastly, don't throw the word 'Love' around so easily.....you can easily mistake it for infatuation. I know I have...

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JenniferB
Posts: 11
Joined: Aug 18th, '08, 12:22
Location: Denver, Colorado

Post by JenniferB » Dec 17th, '08, 16:48

Now you can't really do anything anymore, that best would have been not to be jealous and to respect the honesty of your ex-girlfriend.
If she wanted your best friend and she wanted him and they are together now you should be happy for them - they might be meant for each other ...
You will find a girl that loves you right from the beginning as you did and how you deserve it!

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KupidKilla
Posts: 24
Joined: Sep 30th, '05, 05:56
Location: Home of the In & Out Burger... best in the WORLD

Post by KupidKilla » Dec 19th, '08, 18:15

Heres honestly what I think... she burned you and your so-called friend burned you. Yeah you can be all forgiving and whatever and its true... to a certain extent.

You are better than them and if I were you I would show it. Train hard and turn into something that they won't soon forget. Start playing ball with ppl way taller and way more experienced than you (if people call fouls on your court for every little bump then move to a different one haha)... train yourself so the next time your on the court with your "bro" you swat his shot like he was a third grader and check his ass to the ground. As for the girl, start going to the gym if you aren't all ready, run alittle, get buffed out and cut up so the next time shes at the court with her "man" you can take off your hoody so her and all her skanky pals will be like DAMNNN.

Granted this is sort of revenge but its not like your slashing the fools tires. Honestly its to give yourself confidence aslo. Your prolly a really great guy right now and have alot of things going on so of course you can move on. But it doesn't hurt to better yourself alittle and show it off a bit.

nankasento
Posts: 127
Joined: Mar 5th, '08, 22:48

Post by nankasento » Dec 29th, '08, 16:21

Ootori Kyouya wrote:*Sigh*...I wish people here can offer you some better advice to you because that's not going to help you. Those are not advices...it's more of a shallow words of encouragement.

Here are some tips you should think over...

1. There is no such thing as Love in first sight - In this era, looks are very deceiving. Women may look all nice and sweet, but they can have an alternative motive. It could be for money, popularity, or in your case, go after your ex-best friend. I'm not saying it applies to all women, but there are quite a few that seek a relationship for other purposes than love.

2. Don't let your guard down - Prepare for the worst. It may not happen but you need a contingency plan to minimize the damage. I don't know how many months you talked to her before you dated her, but you should have been more careful. I'm not saying you should be a cynic...I'm saying don't be so naive and believe everything in face value.

3. Background check - Research is important. You should have asked around people who may have known about her. As I said earlier, everything in surface is not what it seems. You could have talked to people around the basketball center or maybe her friends after you just started dating her. The reason for this is to make sure you get assurance for your instinct. It is to confirm that it will not lead to a devastating heartbreak.

4. Learn from this experience - Now, when I mean learn from it, I don't mean you should assume all girls will leave you for a friend of yours. What I am saying is that you may have been careless, reckless, or in this case, naive. In order to not get hurt again, try to find what you think you did wrong and right. The blame mostly rests on her...but that doesn't mean you don't have flaws of your own.

Lastly, don't throw the word 'Love' around so easily.....you can easily mistake it for infatuation. I know I have...
I think the only sensible reply has been this one but instead of infatuation I'd call it plain LUST, which of course is nothing wrong with.

I'd also apply this on your friends, it seems you mix friends and acquaintances, I can count my friends on one hand, I know for 100% sure they'd go through fire for me and I for them, has happened in the past, you'll only get to know your real friends when in trouble, the rest just runs away or never shows up. Acquaintances however even using my toes to count comes nowhere close, they are handy but of no major importance.

Nothing in life is for free, there's always costs, whether you have to pay in money, time or services they are all costs. Of course your free to pay for whatever and however, I suggest to spend it wisely, here someone offered you 4 tips at the cost of time, my tip is make use of them, don't bother with revenge, it's a waste of time.

11vie
Posts: 1
Joined: Jul 7th, '09, 10:53

Post by 11vie » Jul 7th, '09, 11:07

wonderful! thanks for the info..


assurance vie

dabogy
Posts: 103
Joined: May 4th, '09, 09:09

let go

Post by dabogy » Jul 14th, '09, 07:48

Love is letting go,

If you really love this girl, let her go

Move on and talk to your best friend It is really hard to keep your anger
Learn to forgive and forget... =)

ethidda
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Post by ethidda » Jul 14th, '09, 08:34

I say, don't be bitter about it. If you both tried hard to make it work, and it still didn't, then it wasn't going to work as a long term anyway. Besides, her relationship with your best friend does not really have a higher chance or working either. So when things calm down a bit, try to remain friends with your best friend.

As the girl who broke up with a guy because I crushed on his best friend (though I never told my ex, and I never dated the best friend), I have some advice to avoid this in the future:

(a) Get your best friend a girl of his own if he doesn't have one. For a girl to have her once-crush roaming around single AND hanging out with him often is quite distracting and makes the mind wander.

(b) I know that he's your best friend, but don't compliment him so much in front of your girl (especially if she's already crushing on him). She'll just think of how much better your best friend is compared to you, since you're talking so well of him. (That does not mean you should talk badly behind his back, either.)

(c) The girl's with you, and she will probably stay with you until the relationship becomes sour. Then, she'll move onto the next guy she's interested in, who is the best friend in some unfortunate cases. However, the key is to make the relationship work in the first place, or it doesn't matter who she gets with after she breaks up with you.

dabogy
Posts: 103
Joined: May 4th, '09, 09:09

Post by dabogy » Jul 15th, '09, 01:08

I like this line.. Make her remembers you! lolx


"The girl's with you, and she will probably stay with you until the relationship becomes sour. Then, she'll move onto the next guy she's interested in, who is the best friend in some unfortunate cases. However, the key is to make the relationship work in the first place, or it doesn't matter who she gets with after she breaks up with you.:

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