What do you think?

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tmc
Posts: 1
Joined: Dec 9th, '08, 04:49

What do you think?

Post by tmc » Dec 9th, '08, 04:53

A girlfriend (Tracy) tells her boyfriend (Mike) about her old friend (Cat) on how Cat hasn't treated her right many times. There have been occasions where Cat asked Tracy for her help at events and borrowing some of Tracy's clothing. Also, there have been some situations where it involves school and prospective outlook since they are so-called "best friends" and help each other out.

Tracy tells Mike about how Cat would forget about Tracy when Tracy helped out at Cat's non-profit organization event where it involved modeling, sponsors, and borrowing Tracy's dress. Cat was ordering Tracy around even though Tracy was not part of the organization and Cat had other members of the organization there. Tracy did not feel that Cat was being a "friend" from that event. Another time Cat asked to borrow a dress from Tracy, but did not state the reason so Tracy assumed that Cat was going to wear it to an event. Instead, Tracy found out that Cat lend the dress to another of Cat's friend whom Tracy did not know. The problem was that the dress did not fit Cat's friend who was bigger than the dress so it stretched a little and Tracy complained to her boyfriend about it. The thing with prospective outlook is that Cat and Tracy are considered "best friends," and they supposedly tell each other about things that should help their future. Anyways, Cat knew something about how to get into medical school with a "fast track" program where you were guaranteed a spot if you kept up with the minimum requirements, and Cat knew that Tracy was pursuing that general path, but Tracy was never told anything about it. Tracy soon found out that Cat was involved with it and got upset that Cat did not share the information on the program. This was complained to Mike. There's also been other similar small instance where this happens and Tracy complains to Mike.

Mike in turn does not like Cat because of all of this and does not want to like her. They got in a fight several times about Tracy hanging out with Cat. Two years after it still happens. Mike does not want Tracy around Cat, but Tracy insists that the friendship will not be broken and Tracy will not give up the friendship because of Mike since she knew Cat longer than Mike. Mike hates the situation and still despises Cat. Tracy tried to make Mike like Cat which made Mike dislike Cat even more. Tracy and Mike still argue today about Tracy and Cat being friends.

Mike is fine with Tracy's other friends guys and girls; just not Cat. Another condition to put into effect; Mike has some friends that Tracy doesn't want Mike to be around because they are his ex-girlfriend's cousins whom he knew before he got with that girl.

Should Tracy keep her friendship? Should Mike put up with Cat being around? Should Mike just drop the issue all together? So what do you think about the situation?

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Ootori Kyouya
Posts: 17
Joined: May 28th, '08, 19:01

Post by Ootori Kyouya » Dec 9th, '08, 06:50

Ah, now this is an interesting scenario. Usually, girls hate the fact that their boyfriends are hanging out with other girls and vice versa.

The problem seems to be tolerance.

Neither of them have it. Plain and simple. As for Tracy, I don't know what she defines as 'friends'...but being together for a long time doesn't cut it. I recently evaluated my friendship with some people and realized that they are not as good as friends as I thought.

As for Mike, he should know better. Associating anyone that relates to his ex-girlfriend leaves an unwanted trail.

However, the main problem is still tolerance. We all have our own hobbies, friends and individuality. Unless you are married, you're not together as one. As far as I see it, you are two separate people who have different taste and interest. Respect each others decision. Otherwise, you'll try to strip their freedom. Then, it will go all downhill as both Mike and Tracy will be mudslinging at each others throats with regretful comments and actions.

Tolerate or obliterate. You decide...

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yulia
Posts: 18
Joined: Nov 26th, '08, 16:43
Location: turkey

Post by yulia » Dec 9th, '08, 13:24

that is so confused but i think Mike have to just drop the issue all together :P
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love forever :cheers:

cesothao
Posts: 31
Joined: May 8th, '07, 01:14
Location: WI

Post by cesothao » Dec 9th, '08, 20:10

Tracy seems annoying! She complains on how bad Cat is and still trying to make Mike like her... It's okay if she still hangs out with Cat but to make her bf like her as a friend is just wack. Mike doesn't want her to hang out with Cat because he knows well that they aren't as great of a "best friend" as they considered to be, if they were, Cat wouldn't have treated Tracy the way she did especially knowing how to get into medical school but keeping it on the down-low.

As for Mike, he knew his ex-girlfriends' cousin before he got with her.. so I really don't see a problem here. They proved to be real friends, Mike and his friends' won't just break up b/c he broke up with their cousin, right? Tracy is just jealous and I do understand her too but if you can't trust him then you shouldn't be with him in the first place.

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Forkboy
Posts: 9
Joined: Feb 13th, '08, 21:34
Location: British Columbia

Post by Forkboy » Dec 10th, '08, 04:02

If I was Mike, I would just be the understanding boyfriend. As long as Cat isn't attacking him personally then I would listen to the issues and offer support. Things will work themselves out. Through experience I've seen that individuals are seldom influenced, for better or for worse, in friendships by outside sources.

As for Mike having friends from before an earlier relationship? It was BEFORE so there is no issue. If it brought him into contact with his ex on a regular basis, then maybe things need to be discussed.

Hope everything turns out for the best! :)

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