He called me by another name

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evvie_669
Posts: 5
Joined: Nov 1st, '08, 09:18

He called me by another name

Post by evvie_669 » Nov 1st, '08, 09:25

So I'm friends with benefits with this one guy, Jake we'll call him.

Now we were at the club together and honestly, I don't care if he dances with another girl, or even makes out with another girl. However I ended up at the end of the night going back to his place however he kept calling me "Jen" which is extremely far from my real name.

I was shocked but I just ignored it because he was drunk. I layed in bed with him and he fell asleep but I just wasn't tired and didn't really want to be there so I ended up getting up and heading back to my own place. Did I have that right, and do I have the right to propose my argument or should I just drop it because we're only "friends"? Also he told me he hadn't had a real relationship in like 3 years, I figured that was a lie but kind of believed him due to his, eh, lack of experience, but after this, I don't know what to think anymore.
Should I just ditch period???

tunix_2008
Posts: 138
Joined: Mar 28th, '08, 15:24

Post by tunix_2008 » Nov 1st, '08, 10:12

By all means DITCH him!!!!! B-tch at him too while you're at it!!!

The most important thing you have to have before getting into a relationship with anyone, be it friendship or some skewed romantic liaison is SELF RESPECT. Knowing your NAME and having the rest of the WORLD know it is the first indication of that.

You shouldn't even be talking let alone sleeping with someone who doesn't even know your name! Nobody should be so desperate to be with someone that they would tolerate remaining nameless as the bed he is sleeping on.

If you never talk to him again, it'll be no loss for you. Choose someone who respects you enough to know your name whether he is sober or blind stinking drunk.

Better yet -- don't go jumping into bed with anyone who's not even committed enough to remember your name. It's like sleeping with a wrong number.

Kaitoz
Posts: 46
Joined: Jan 2nd, '08, 17:27
Location: Sofia, Bulgaria

Post by Kaitoz » Nov 1st, '08, 10:38

If your relationship isn't deep (it sounds like it's not) then you really have nothing to lose if you ditch him quickly *shrug* Though I'm curious who's that Jen and I'd try to talk to him or maybe act annoyed and tell him "By the way, my name isn't Jen." and see what kind of explanation he's gonna tell.

evvie_669
Posts: 5
Joined: Nov 1st, '08, 09:18

Post by evvie_669 » Nov 1st, '08, 13:49

Thanks for the advice! You guys are so right. I'm going to find out who this Jen is just for the sake of curiousity, be a bit of a b-tch, then just walk away. I'll post how it goes!

milochel
Posts: 17
Joined: Aug 27th, '08, 15:02

Post by milochel » Nov 5th, '08, 07:26

I would've smacked him with my heel and said "Jen your head!"

After all, if his reason for calling you that is because he was drunk, he wouldn't even remember you doing it..

Keep us updated on the Jen-hunt!

evvie_669
Posts: 5
Joined: Nov 1st, '08, 09:18

Post by evvie_669 » Nov 5th, '08, 14:15

Sooo he called me the next morning and was like 'why did you leave?" so i bitched him out and he ended up showing at my door with flowers and such and asked for my forgiveness and such. And I don't know, I semi forgave him to the point I still hang out with him. Mainly cause he's the only person I know in this city right now, but I told him I'm never staying over at his place again or any of that and I'm sticking to it.

milochel
Posts: 17
Joined: Aug 27th, '08, 15:02

Post by milochel » Nov 6th, '08, 04:46

you go gurl!! :) *salutes* that's the way...!

evvie_669
Posts: 5
Joined: Nov 1st, '08, 09:18

Post by evvie_669 » Nov 6th, '08, 04:56

Lol thanks! I just hung out with him tonight, and well he still kept trying to hold my hand and kiss me but I wasn't having any of it and he was all like "how come you don't like me anymore?" so I told him it's not that I don't it's that I can't trust him anymore and I only want to be friends and that I sure don't go kissing my other friends. He tried to act all okay with it but I could tell he was mad and I doubt I'll ever really see him again. Then again maybe he'll get over himself and we can be purely friends but who knows, he is a guy after all and their ego runs pretty deep lol. I just really need to meet more people -_- lol.

Thanks for all your support though guyz!

ILoveKoyuki
Posts: 70
Joined: Aug 12th, '06, 23:50

Post by ILoveKoyuki » Nov 6th, '08, 05:01

lol ur kidding right??? :lol
friends with benefits??? :D
wow i dont get this at all, i never understood things like dat, isnt "friends wit benefits" like a whenever u want it booty call agreement??? :scratch:
dont do that to urself find sumone who likes and respects you (and perferably only u) enough to know ur name lol
i dont mean ta be a jerk but it seems like your causing a problem for urself
but its your deal

but if ur not in a commited relationship why would it bother you if he was 'drunk' and calling you another name :scratch:

milochel
Posts: 17
Joined: Aug 27th, '08, 15:02

Post by milochel » Nov 6th, '08, 05:05

agrees with IloveKoyuki, don't stir things up with this guy. If he's not worth your time, jz boot him.. you can get other friends out there..

ILoveKoyuki
Posts: 70
Joined: Aug 12th, '06, 23:50

Post by ILoveKoyuki » Nov 6th, '08, 05:16

yeah all im sayin is have some self respect and common sense
its pretty obvious 'friends with benefits' will never work out bcuz people become attached to one another
so dont waste ur time on a person who wont invest in a meaningful relationship bcuz no matter how u say its jus for fun or i dont want a serious relationship people want sumone they can rely on ta be there for them and that kind of superfical relationship will only end up hurting u

and by ur post about tha aftermath he jus seems like he jus wants a toss-up and nothing serious so he probably wont care how much he hurts u as long as u say its alright and forgive him


but again i kno nuthing of the real situation, these are jus assumption based on observations in life

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azntina
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Joined: Jul 20th, '05, 12:19
Location: USA

Post by azntina » Nov 16th, '08, 18:07

I'd say slap him so he'll remember the mistake and wont do it again.
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ILoveKoyuki
Posts: 70
Joined: Aug 12th, '06, 23:50

Post by ILoveKoyuki » Nov 17th, '08, 23:50

i dont think violence against the person is goin ta make him a better person or benefit u in anyway :roll

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ReiKen
Posts: 13
Joined: Aug 24th, '07, 18:43
Location: Ontario

Post by ReiKen » Nov 18th, '08, 00:16

Don't make the same mistake twice - that is having a "friends with benefits" relationship. Have more confidence in yourself and find someone real.

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Yessy89
Posts: 55
Joined: Sep 12th, '08, 00:29
Location: Laredo, TX

Post by Yessy89 » Nov 18th, '08, 00:34

1. Leave him

2. It's not that you don't have the right to b-tch at him..but you guys are 'only friends' and there is nothing serious going on. I mean if he were really with you then by all means GO ON A RAMPAGE....but that's not the case and he has a right to remember other girls....and you guys made a deal..."benefits"....unless you really like him...then that's another case.

But for sure leave him! :)
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