the rules: according to men

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zyrene
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Joined: Mar 31st, '08, 11:38

the rules: according to men

Post by zyrene » Jun 8th, '08, 04:10

Note: this was just emailed to me by a friend

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.

We always hear ' the rules' From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon, or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or GOLF.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.


Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don't mind that it's like camping.
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XrayZ
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Location: Inglan

Post by XrayZ » Jun 8th, '08, 04:58

Ouch! I cringed to find myself agreeing with some of these.... mainly #1 and #1.....

Although it's not always a strict gender divide, since Sunday sport shows are as much a reason why i got rid of my TV as reality shows and the news.

Plus in spite of being British i detest football.

Tho i am Brit enough to point out that it's called football, and that even-more-boring American game is something else entirely... how about we call it "rugby for poofters in pads"?

ooijanice
Posts: 94
Joined: May 9th, '04, 12:16

Post by ooijanice » Jun 8th, '08, 06:03

Huh! really funny ........ :D
But NOT all men are like that, likewise not all ladies are that unreasonable too.
There are some who is really considerate and understanding.
When you are in a relationship its like a two-way street.
I stronlgy believe in that otherwise it wont last at last.
When you are in a relationship and if you truly love your other half you will compromise and accept the facts or break-up. Just my 2 cents.

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Karate-ka
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Joined: Sep 19th, '07, 15:18
Location: Netherlands, in a town called Brunssum

Post by Karate-ka » Jun 8th, '08, 06:22

exactly i cant realy relate to that.
Pretty white t-shirt and pair of jeans, thats all real man need ya know(No they need a job and a Diploma)
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Ootori Kyouya
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Joined: May 28th, '08, 19:01

Post by Ootori Kyouya » Jun 8th, '08, 16:18

My goodness...the reasoning for that list is ludicrous. Here is my counter to that stupid moronic list.

Men are not mind-readers = that's just a lame excuse saying you haven't been paying attention.

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. = SUCK IT UP. What are you, a girl?

Sunday sports It's like the full moon, or the changing of the tides. Let it be. = That only applies to Football fans, not all men. Since when is it known that all men like Football?

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. = Who in the right mind actually think this at all? Also, men shop too. Shopping does NOT necessary have to mean clothes. Even if it was clothes, it still applies to men. Otherwise, men would be walking around naked.

Crying is blackmail = how superficial of someone to spin around someone's tears into as a sign of greed.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it! = If you don't know what she wants without her telling you, then you don't know her at all. Simple as that.

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. = this applies only to objective questions, not subjective.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. = Ever heard of the word, venting, guys? We do that all the time and yet you think this does not apply to girls.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. = if you want to be an insensitive jackass, be my guest.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. = Hey fool, women ask this because they need a boost of confidence from their spouse. If you don't get that, then it amazes me how she even fell for you in the first place.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. = If you made a mistake, fess up to it. That's what a real man does. We don't make excuses. PERIOD.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. = We're capable of multi-tasking. Unless you think it's too hard for you....

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. = Ignorance. That's all I'm going to say about that.

Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. = Stop holding onto your stupid pride. All it does is lead to more problems.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. = Your lack of taste in modern art and color shows that you are a simpleton.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. = Will power should control when our scratches should be made. You don't scratch your ass when your girlfriend is about to say something important. There is a time and place for scratching.

If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. = Nice way for you to fight for your relationship when it's about to go down in flames.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. = One of a traits of a JERK

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really. = So I'm guessing it's appropriate to wear sweatpants to a Wedding? Guys have sports. Women have their fashion. We each have our own preferences. Deal with it.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or GOLF = You might as well have a blowup doll as your girlfriend since that never talks.

You have enough clothes. = Clothes wear out or go out of style. Women wants to keep up at all cost.

You have too many shoes. = Same applies to what was written above about clothes.

I am in shape. Round IS a shape! = Just a softer way of saying FAT. Go to the GYM.

What a pathetic list. Someone contact me when there is a legit list that can not be fought in all directions.

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blamvitaburst
Posts: 31
Joined: Oct 20th, '06, 19:21
Location: USA

Post by blamvitaburst » Jun 14th, '08, 05:24

Haha. I like Ootori Kyouya's flaming of this list.

I've read this list, and others like it, before and it always amuses me how these lists basically paint women as annoying, whining, bothersome pests and make men's issues and needs of ultimate importance. No one wants to be with someone who doesn't seem to appreciate them, sets self centered rules, and treats the other person's very existence as an annoyance if it oversteps any of these silly rules. :P I mean, I could totally make a Woman's Rules list, but I'm pretty sure that no man alive would follow it just for the privilege of my hoohaw. Maybe it would give some of the more man-hating women out there a good laugh, but that's all it would do. haha :P
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Puppet Princess
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Location: Hawaii

Post by Puppet Princess » Jun 14th, '08, 05:43

The only thing I can say is.... Christopher Columbus WAS lost. lol

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loveless_soul
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Joined: Nov 30th, '06, 04:24
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Post by loveless_soul » Jun 14th, '08, 06:22

I've seen this list on myspace and other sties before. It's amusing & fun so girls, don't take it too seriously.
Everyone has flaws so just deal with it. Life goes on.
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Being here for almost a decade, it is sad for me to see the torrent section goes.
I guess sometimes good things must come to an end :(
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mimmi
Posts: 573
Joined: Mar 19th, '05, 22:03
Location: wisconsin

Post by mimmi » Jun 15th, '08, 09:35

lol this is just plain funny....sounds like men really don't have a real relationship in their lives
:lol ....but then again, what's new to some men heh ?:P....

XrayZ
Posts: 92
Joined: Jun 6th, '08, 10:05
Location: Inglan

Post by XrayZ » Jun 16th, '08, 14:33

Forgive me but i'm going to voice a serious opinion....

This list, and other like it, is fairly obviously pure BS in most aspects, but it seems to contain a little bit of truth because the idea of "typical men" and "typical women" is so programmed into us by wherever the hell we come from (slightly different versions, basic same idea).

I think we all know enough non-typicals to recognize that gender stereotypes (like national or racial stereotypes) are more created than actual...

Personally i enjoy playing the english eccentric when dealing with people from outside the UK, but i don't really believe it to any great extent. It's basically an excuse to play a stereoype (or archetype) that's more fun than "Ug! Me is MAN!"

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