The cute girl in your class that you can never talk to...lol

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First Class Wota
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The cute girl in your class that you can never talk to...lol

Post by First Class Wota » May 7th, '08, 22:02

I figured if anyone knows about relationships its the people who shut themselves in their room and watch Japanese Dramas on their computer :glare: (Don't worry I do it too).

There is this girl in my class, she is around the same age as me and she is from China. She speaks fluent chinese and pretty good english (not amazing, but you can converse). I really think she is the cutest thing ever... but I can't get myself to talk to her, and she is sort of the quiet type but that might not be her true personality it may just be because the class blows hard so she could be holding back, but anyway my point is... how do you talk to a girl you like for the first time??? The only idea I have is that since im learning japanese right now, i could ask her about some of the Kanji I don't know, since Kanji are the Chinese letters used in Japanese and she would definitely know them. Any other ideas???

In before insults, trust me I already know how lame I am... :cry: :-( :cry:

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G'boy
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Post by G'boy » May 7th, '08, 22:20

Gf or bf, don't watch drama, live the drama. It's quite simple really, just go up to her nicely and ask to have lunch with you. Ask what's her interests are, make her laugh. Be playful. Ask her if you can borrow her erasure, books, etc, so that you have an excuse to meet with her after class. Be creative, sweetie. Good luck. Mwah! :-)

lmaonade
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Post by lmaonade » May 7th, '08, 22:21

the actual topic doesn't matter
just go and ask her how her day's going or something
the important thing is that you talk to her
just start a convo
and if the 1st 1 doesn't work, who cares
try again

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slowmoe
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Re: The cute girl in your class that you can never talk to..

Post by slowmoe » May 7th, '08, 23:11

First Class Wota wrote:In before insults, trust me I already know how lame I am... :cry: :-( :cry:
no insults....your not lame....i have the same problem...quiet ones are the opposite....yea i told my crush one the net one night....lol..... goodluck to you.....

nankasento
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Post by nankasento » May 8th, '08, 01:35

You should talk to her like you would talk to any of the other students in your class (that you like and have conversations with on a regular basis) because she's the quiet type (according to your observation) she probably does pay attention to her surrounding, or rather, she's very conscious about it, which means she probably has seen you talk to others in your class. If you suddenly walk up to her and talk in a way that's out of the ordinary or inconsistent in the way she has seen you talk to other classmates alarms might go of.

Quiet types are often targets for bullies and / or pranks, I'm not saying your a bully or someone who plays pranks on others, that I don't know of and is not what I mean with this, make it come across "normal", aka your normal speech and attitude.

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zyrene
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Post by zyrene » May 8th, '08, 06:06

just go up to her, talk to her normally,-----> believe me this things arent that easy when you really like the person... sorry dude i dont have any advice...

g-em
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Post by g-em » May 15th, '08, 09:11

if i were you.. id say hi <her>! and smile.. haha.. G'boy is right.. just make a friendly approach.. don't act like your gonna ask her to be you girlfriend already.. start by making her your friend.. As you said that she's the quite type.. I'm sure that she's always or maybe most of the time "alone" at school.. so you better be one of her first friends in school.. the one who'll be with her when no one seems to be..

First Class Wota
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Post by First Class Wota » May 15th, '08, 23:08

Thanks to everyone who replied! They were all helpful in their own way :D

Also, as for progress I've said Hi a few times and she has the cutest habit of giving a big smile if she catches you looking at her... So, I guess I've made a little? Well, I seriously plan on starting conversation etc, etc, in the very near future, so I'll see how it plays out. Again, Thanks.

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zyrene
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Post by zyrene » May 16th, '08, 05:23

First Class Wota wrote:Thanks to everyone who replied! They were all helpful in their own way :D

Also, as for progress I've said Hi a few times and she has the cutest habit of giving a big smile if she catches you looking at her... So, I guess I've made a little? Well, I seriously plan on starting conversation etc, etc, in the very near future, so I'll see how it plays out. Again, Thanks.
gud luck dude...
just be carefull not to stumble into the friends zone. coz once your in there theres no coming back... :D :salut:

First Class Wota
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Post by First Class Wota » May 16th, '08, 05:42

zyrene wrote:
First Class Wota wrote:Thanks to everyone who replied! They were all helpful in their own way :D

Also, as for progress I've said Hi a few times and she has the cutest habit of giving a big smile if she catches you looking at her... So, I guess I've made a little? Well, I seriously plan on starting conversation etc, etc, in the very near future, so I'll see how it plays out. Again, Thanks.
gud luck dude...
just be carefull not to stumble into the friends zone. coz once your in there theres no coming back... :D :salut:
If I have learned anything from dramas... that's one of them :D haha

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slowmoe
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Post by slowmoe » May 16th, '08, 05:48

zyrene wrote:gud luck dude...
just be carefull not to stumble into the friends zone. coz once your in there theres no coming back... :D :salut:
yup....couldnt have said it better myself.... If you want her....don't ever act like her friend....

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G'boy
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Post by G'boy » May 16th, '08, 20:56

zyrene wrote:just be carefull not to stumble into the friends zone.
Dear Cupid bf,

have a small problem. You see Cupid bf, I have a girl friend that I like tremendously. The problem is that there is a space between the words "girl" and "friend." That's right Mr. Cupid, I'd like to date this girl.

I mean really Cupid bf, I really really feel as if we have so much in common. We do everything together -- from rollerblading and cycling, to sharing our bentos at shool. We even spend quiet summer nights looking up at the pretty stars and talking about everything.

Sigh. She has a lot of fun with me and that we have a lot in common. So why does she refers to me as her "friend?" Cupid bf, I really really want to ask her out, but I'm afraid that if she refuses, the friendship will suffer and eventually gone gone and gone.

Mr. Cupid, I really like this girl so now I ask you, do I take the chance and ask her out? And if she says, "I just want to be friends," how do I convince her to fall in love with me, as I have fallen for her?

Hopelessly in love.

Mwah!

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zyrene
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Post by zyrene » May 17th, '08, 06:00

hahaha.... i think you should take your chance and see where you are standing now.... if she says, "I just want to be friends,". then sorry my friend... hahaha :lol

g-em
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Post by g-em » May 18th, '08, 10:01

bro, make her miss you.. and when you see each other again, and she says that she missed you then go ask her out.. :cheers: but if she doesn't miss you, :-( then find more ways to make her.. :w00t:

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oneWISH
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Post by oneWISH » May 19th, '08, 05:47

Ask her something about the class like help with hw, or talking about a recent test or something... Just to get you started. Then you can be more familiar w/ each other, good luck xP
Watching:
One Fine Day 16/16
Terms of Endearment 35/60

Chris_Paul
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idk if you still need help

Post by Chris_Paul » May 26th, '08, 02:41

basically you need a way to approach her. dont say hi or hows your day. be different( this is the key to get a girls attention). say hey let me ask you a question. do you think its cheating if someone in a relationship is keeping pictures of his/her ex? and then just go on with a conversation..and then say is there anyway we could continue this conversation some other time...this way your not demanding for a number/email..makes her comfortable answering. good luck.

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meredith
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Post by meredith » May 26th, '08, 03:27

helloo... well, i'm new here. my friend recommend me this site.. so, help me.

i love this guy. and this guy obviously love me. but then, i found out that he actuaally had a fiance (family set-up). he already said to me that he did not like her and the girl alos couldn't get along with him. but in order to save his family's company, they need to be TOGETHER. could you help me? i dont know what to do... cause i'm so in love with him...

Paris_Hangover
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Post by Paris_Hangover » May 26th, '08, 03:55

I would also ask her is online cheating just as bad as sexual cheating?

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emykina
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Post by emykina » May 26th, '08, 03:57

try to watch hana yori dango then.. hehe..both season 1 & 2..

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M_Verdant
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Post by M_Verdant » May 26th, '08, 06:05

Okay, I TOTALLY disagree with some of the guys on this thread.

In my personal experience, it's a much better idea to approach a girl you like as a friend first. While you're hanging out with her AS FRIENDS, if you start to feel a mutual connection you can initiate "girlfriend" manuevers. xD

I only realized this recently; in the past two years, there have been girls in my class who I have liked/found cute and I would always approach them not as friends, but as shy, nervous "potential boyfriends". I would be so nervous around them that I couldn't be my true self. So I realized it's a much better idea to become friends with a girl you like first, and that way you can see if the connection is mutual, AND if it doesn't work out, then you still have made a great friend! =)

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spiral_flare
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Post by spiral_flare » May 26th, '08, 21:48

M_Verdant wrote:Okay, I TOTALLY disagree with some of the guys on this thread.

In my personal experience, it's a much better idea to approach a girl you like as a friend first. While you're hanging out with her AS FRIENDS, if you start to feel a mutual connection you can initiate "girlfriend" manuevers. xD

I only realized this recently; in the past two years, there have been girls in my class who I have liked/found cute and I would always approach them not as friends, but as shy, nervous "potential boyfriends". I would be so nervous around them that I couldn't be my true self. So I realized it's a much better idea to become friends with a girl you like first, and that way you can see if the connection is mutual, AND if it doesn't work out, then you still have made a great friend! =)
Agreed.

Girls are different. I personally don't like it when guys ask me out or are "interested in me" when they know nothing about me (happened just last night actually...not trying to brag at all), but the point I'm trying to make is that not all girls are like that.

And dramas are dramas, most of them aren't even realistic, that's why we watch them, to escape reality because they make us feel good.....well, that's why I watch them, because I know I'll never find anyone who loves me in the way guys love girls in dramas. *sighs*

But anyway, I disagree with whoever said "be different". No, it's best if you be yourself. If you feel like the only thing you want to say is "hi" then say it. Don't be afraid. And she SMILED at you. That's a start, right? It's better than being a loser (like me) and "accidentally" dropping your pencil next to the person you want to get to know (though it works for me...lol).

Good luck to you. :lol

Biker555
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Post by Biker555 » May 27th, '08, 00:46

M_Verdant wrote:In my personal experience, it's a much better idea to approach a girl you like as a friend first. While you're hanging out with her AS FRIENDS, if you start to feel a mutual connection you can initiate "girlfriend" manuevers. x
I agree with this statement.

First Class Wota
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Post by First Class Wota » May 27th, '08, 01:09

spiral_flare wrote:
M_Verdant wrote:Okay, I TOTALLY disagree with some of the guys on this thread.

In my personal experience, it's a much better idea to approach a girl you like as a friend first. While you're hanging out with her AS FRIENDS, if you start to feel a mutual connection you can initiate "girlfriend" manuevers. xD

I only realized this recently; in the past two years, there have been girls in my class who I have liked/found cute and I would always approach them not as friends, but as shy, nervous "potential boyfriends". I would be so nervous around them that I couldn't be my true self. So I realized it's a much better idea to become friends with a girl you like first, and that way you can see if the connection is mutual, AND if it doesn't work out, then you still have made a great friend! =)
Agreed.

Girls are different. I personally don't like it when guys ask me out or are "interested in me" when they know nothing about me (happened just last night actually...not trying to brag at all), but the point I'm trying to make is that not all girls are like that.

And dramas are dramas, most of them aren't even realistic, that's why we watch them, to escape reality because they make us feel good.....well, that's why I watch them, because I know I'll never find anyone who loves me in the way guys love girls in dramas. *sighs*

But anyway, I disagree with whoever said "be different". No, it's best if you be yourself. If you feel like the only thing you want to say is "hi" then say it. Don't be afraid. And she SMILED at you. That's a start, right? It's better than being a loser (like me) and "accidentally" dropping your pencil next to the person you want to get to know (though it works for me...lol).

Good luck to you. :lol
10/10

finally, a girl's input! Thank you.

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Ootori Kyouya
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Post by Ootori Kyouya » May 28th, '08, 19:13

M_Verdant wrote:Okay, I TOTALLY disagree with some of the guys on this thread.

In my personal experience, it's a much better idea to approach a girl you like as a friend first. While you're hanging out with her AS FRIENDS, if you start to feel a mutual connection you can initiate "girlfriend" manuevers. xD

I only realized this recently; in the past two years, there have been girls in my class who I have liked/found cute and I would always approach them not as friends, but as shy, nervous "potential boyfriends". I would be so nervous around them that I couldn't be my true self. So I realized it's a much better idea to become friends with a girl you like first, and that way you can see if the connection is mutual, AND if it doesn't work out, then you still have made a great friend! =)
That suggestion is very dangerous and I'll tell you why.

When a girl (whom you like) says that they should be friends instead, it kills the guy's confidence. It is a slap on the face. It's an indirect rejection. By spending too much time on friend-like activities, the girl will see the guy in a different perspective. Instead of a potential boyfriend, the girl may see the guy as a big-brother or a dependable friend whom you can have a shoulder to cry on.

Granted that this only one way at looking at it. The whole point is to find the fine line between being friends and being a possible couple. You can't get too friendly because it will push you more towards the friends zone (which guys loathe by the way). Balance is the key. The hard part is that balance varies in girls. Numerous factors comes into play (personality, habits, etc.). Go with what you think is the best case scenario for that certain girl.

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zyrene
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Post by zyrene » May 29th, '08, 01:57

Ootori Kyouya wrote:
When a girl (whom you like) says that they should be friends instead, it kills the guy's confidence. It is a slap on the face. It's an indirect rejection. By spending too much time on friend-like activities, the girl will see the guy in a different perspective. Instead of a potential boyfriend, the girl may see the guy as a big-brother or a dependable friend whom you can have a shoulder to cry on.

Granted that this only one way at looking at it. The whole point is to find the fine line between being friends and being a possible couple. You can't get too friendly because it will push you more towards the friends zone (which guys loathe by the way). Balance is the key. The hard part is that balance varies in girls. Numerous factors comes into play (personality, habits, etc.). Go with what you think is the best case scenario for that certain girl.
i agree the so called friend zone is like a black hole... scaryy.. oonce in no out.. :lol :D

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