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Why Asian Women Don't Date Asian Men

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MarkD
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Location: Syracuse, NY

According to the CDC

Post by MarkD » Mar 31st, '10, 19:21

Under 50% of all marriages in the US end in divorce. The percentage is higher for those who have already divorced once. The percentage of first marriages ending in divorce is in the 40 to 50 percent range.

Be very skeptical of statistics from interested parties.

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PocketKiriyama
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Post by PocketKiriyama » Mar 31st, '10, 20:45

HongKongChick wrote:
Fantastical wrote:
HongKongChick wrote:oh, it's illegal too in china/hong kong. but it's not marriage, mistress. while having a family in hong kong. ah... hate stupid men
What?
Are the women completely innocent?
Does no woman cheat on their husband or is it that they never get caught or is it supposedly too embarrassing to admit that a wife cheated on his husband.
oh you are completely right..... in the US of A or other western countries.

i was talking about hong kong/china. yes, women cheating on their husbands occur, but still far less than men cheating on their wives. i dont know about other cultures, but in Asia, we still have "some" traditional values when it comes to marriages.

divorce rate in hong kong, as of 2009, 33%. and most divorces were filed by women. hint hint, cheating men!!! HAHAHA :D

The divorce rate in America for first marriage, vs second or third marriage
50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.”
More reasons why I don't want to marry.

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Cherek
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Post by Cherek » Apr 1st, '10, 14:06

PocketKiriyama wrote:
More reasons why I don't want to marry.
Its teh interwebz i tell ya! meeting/finding people is so much easier than before, so maybe most people have a small will to save their relationship and find new ones at the 1st sight of discomfort? discuss! :P

MarkD
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The motto of the British SAS: "Who dares, wins"

Post by MarkD » Apr 1st, '10, 14:08

I was insanely reckless, getting married shortly before getting out of the Marines, with no job lined up (this was pre-internet days, and I was in Japan) and very little money in the bank. My wife was hardly fluent in English, me less in Japanese, but I knew she was the one for me. There was no way I was leaving that girl. Fast forward 34 years and three kids, and she's still the one.

It wasn't all easy and fun. It took work and a little extra patience and understanding on both sides due to cultural differences in addition to all the ups and downs of a regular marriage. I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.

I have an uncle who used to be an Executive at Kodak and his travels took him to Japan a number of times. He told me "your wife is an exceptional girl." I already knew that.

There is an old saying in Japan that women from Hiroshima make the best wives. I can't disagree, but I've nothing to compare. She's the only one I have or want.

You'll know if you're ready to marry someone. Was I afraid it wouldn't work out? Of course, I'm not an idiot. My biggest fear was that I wouldn't be able to provide for her. Fortunately, we've done OK economically, and went back to Japan several times to visit her parents while they were alive.

Choose wisely. Or as my mother-in-law said, marry with your eyes wide open. Then shut one eye.

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PocketKiriyama
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Re: The motto of the British SAS: "Who dares, wins&quo

Post by PocketKiriyama » Apr 1st, '10, 14:13

MarkD wrote:I was insanely reckless, getting married shortly before getting out of the Marines, with no job lined up (this was pre-internet days, and I was in Japan) and very little money in the bank. My wife was hardly fluent in English, me less in Japanese, but I knew she was the one for me. There was no way I was leaving that girl. Fast forward 34 years and three kids, and she's still the one.

It wasn't all easy and fun. It took work and a little extra patience and understanding on both sides due to cultural differences in addition to all the ups and downs of a regular marriage. I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.

I have an uncle who used to be an Executive at Kodak and his travels took him to Japan a number of times. He told me "your wife is an exceptional girl." I already knew that.

There is an old saying in Japan that women from Hiroshima make the best wives. I can't disagree, but I've nothing to compare. She's the only one I have or want.

You'll know if you're ready to marry someone. Was I afraid it wouldn't work out? Of course, I'm not an idiot. My biggest fear was that I wouldn't be able to provide for her. Fortunately, we've done OK economically, and went back to Japan several times to visit her parents while they were alive.

Choose wisely. Or as my mother-in-law said, marry with your eyes wide open. Then shut one eye.
Very inspirational story. But I still have no plans on getting married anytime soon although my mom is a bit pushy these days as I'm getting close to my thirties. I just haven't meet a lot of good women out there. One more reasons why I'm going to start traveling the world when I turn 30, just to broaden my mind and heart.

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PocketKiriyama
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Post by PocketKiriyama » Apr 1st, '10, 14:16

Cherek wrote:
PocketKiriyama wrote:
More reasons why I don't want to marry.
Its teh interwebz i tell ya! meeting/finding people is so much easier than before, so maybe most people have a small will to save their relationship and find new ones at the 1st sight of discomfort? discuss! :P
I don't really take internet seriously unless of course I meet her in person as I'm a very good judge of character once I meet someone face to face. Then again I've never put any real effort in any kind of internet relationship that I had before. Either she's not interesting to me or I'm not interesting to her or both.

HongKongChick
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Post by HongKongChick » Apr 1st, '10, 15:40

meeting someone on the internet is soooooo easy. having feelings for the person is also very easy, but finding true love isnt very easy. it will take some time, lots of dates meeting in person to find out if that person is as good in person as online. which is so rare.

i have dated a few guys i met on the net, none worked out, then i quit doing it. waste of time. hahaa.. :D

some people are lucky to find their mates and know they are the one. some people take much longer to do so. take your time.

if you dont feel she/he is the one, then just take your time. age doesnt determine whether or not you should get married. for a guy, it's much easier coz yall dont have to give birth before a certain age, women do.

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PocketKiriyama
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Post by PocketKiriyama » Apr 1st, '10, 16:07

HongKongChick wrote:meeting someone on the internet is soooooo easy. having feelings for the person is also very easy, but finding true love isnt very easy. it will take some time, lots of dates meeting in person to find out if that person is as good in person as online. which is so rare.

i have dated a few guys i met on the net, none worked out, then i quit doing it. waste of time. hahaa.. :D

some people are lucky to find their mates and know they are the one. some people take much longer to do so. take your time.

if you dont feel she/he is the one, then just take your time. age doesnt determine whether or not you should get married. for a guy, it's much easier coz yall dont have to give birth before a certain age, women do.
Well there are some women who prefer not to have kids. I don't really mind if my special someone wants kids or not. I'm really good with kids though as I have 2 nephews who my younger sister drop at our house almost every day. I work 3rd shift so I get a share of taking care of them. I don't know what the fuss is about kids are hard to look after. I personally think its very easy to tame these little monsters.

HongKongChick
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Post by HongKongChick » Apr 2nd, '10, 16:38

PocketKiriyama wrote:
Well there are some women who prefer not to have kids. I don't really mind if my special someone wants kids or not. I'm really good with kids though as I have 2 nephews who my younger sister drop at our house almost every day. I work 3rd shift so I get a share of taking care of them. I don't know what the fuss is about kids are hard to look after. I personally think its very easy to tame these little monsters.
coz at the end of the day, they go home with their mom. :lol

so do you discipline them as well? or just simply take care of them? there is a difference.

i personally think that kids are pretty tough to take care of, for the fact that i have to carry them for 9 months if not more, then comes labor, then comes the diaper change every few hours, then comes the feeding every 4 hours. plus all that money that goes with raising a child is ridiculous. once i have a child, i am stuck. i cant go anywhere, cant go watch a movie without worrying about my kid being with the babysitter, cant go out every weekend, cant take the kid to a restaurant without worrying if he/she will have a crying fest. cant really work and go to school full time (day care is a bitach)

right now, i am in No hurry to have a child even though i am at that age... but maybe in the future. i am perfectly ok with not having my own child. i will probably adopt when i want a child.

i dont think it's super hard to raise a child, but i will not have my freedom. :P

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Cherek
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Post by Cherek » Apr 2nd, '10, 18:42

HongKongChick wrote:
coz at the end of the day, they go home with their mom. :lol

so do you discipline them as well? or just simply take care of them? there is a difference.

i personally think that kids are pretty tough to take care of, for the fact that i have to carry them for 9 months if not more, then comes labor, then comes the diaper change every few hours, then comes the feeding every 4 hours. plus all that money that goes with raising a child is ridiculous. once i have a child, i am stuck. i cant go anywhere, cant go watch a movie without worrying about my kid being with the babysitter, cant go out every weekend, cant take the kid to a restaurant without worrying if he/she will have a crying fest. cant really work and go to school full time (day care is a bitach)

right now, i am in No hurry to have a child even though i am at that age... but maybe in the future. i am perfectly ok with not having my own child. i will probably adopt when i want a child.

i dont think it's super hard to raise a child, but i will not have my freedom. :P
I partially disagree. If the dad is still around mothers should share the load and if yer lucky you can even ask the grandparents on a few occasions. Ofcourse you will never have back your old rhythm but I strongly believe you can still make time for yourself (that is if you are not one of those paranoid moms who wants a status report each hour cause i know a few from my surroundings)

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PocketKiriyama
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Post by PocketKiriyama » Apr 2nd, '10, 19:37

HongKongChick wrote:
coz at the end of the day, they go home with their mom. :lol

so do you discipline them as well? or just simply take care of them? there is a difference.

i personally think that kids are pretty tough to take care of, for the fact that i have to carry them for 9 months if not more, then comes labor, then comes the diaper change every few hours, then comes the feeding every 4 hours. plus all that money that goes with raising a child is ridiculous. once i have a child, i am stuck. i cant go anywhere, cant go watch a movie without worrying about my kid being with the babysitter, cant go out every weekend, cant take the kid to a restaurant without worrying if he/she will have a crying fest. cant really work and go to school full time (day care is a bitach)

right now, i am in No hurry to have a child even though i am at that age... but maybe in the future. i am perfectly ok with not having my own child. i will probably adopt when i want a child.

i dont think it's super hard to raise a child, but i will not have my freedom. :P
Yes I take care of them and discipline them also. Kids are very simple minded so it shouldn't be a problem to teach them. I made some pasta one time and fed it to them but they won't eat the veggies so in a nice tone of voice I just have to tell them that if they eat everything on the plate right now I will make them pasta again next time which actually works. You are right about having to carry them 9 months and the first 6 months after they're born is probably the hardest time as the baby usually cries a lot. Even for no reason.
Cherek wrote:
I partially disagree. If the dad is still around mothers should share the load and if yer lucky you can even ask the grandparents on a few occasions. Ofcourse you will never have back your old rhythm but I strongly believe you can still make time for yourself (that is if you are not one of those paranoid moms who wants a status report each hour cause i know a few from my surroundings)
Me and my dad takes turn taking care of them. My dad have a lot of free time so he's usually the one who ends up watching them.

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PocketKiriyama
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Post by PocketKiriyama » Apr 2nd, '10, 20:29

My life is too goddamn busy....looks like I'm off to another road trip this weekend.

HongKongChick
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Post by HongKongChick » Apr 3rd, '10, 01:32

Cherek wrote:
I partially disagree. If the dad is still around mothers should share the load and if yer lucky you can even ask the grandparents on a few occasions. Ofcourse you will never have back your old rhythm but I strongly believe you can still make time for yourself (that is if you are not one of those paranoid moms who wants a status report each hour cause i know a few from my surroundings)
i intend to have the "dad" around of course. but trust me, not alot of guys are "willing" to help out as much as a mother would. i guess guys will NEVER understand what is it like to be a mother since they dont have to carry the baby for 9 months and have to go thru the pain giving birth. and alot of women end up depressed because at the beginning of motherhood can be stressful and tiring. i just dont think i have that energy to deal with all that if the dad isnt helpful. haha...

i do agree that we can balance our lives. just that i have seen MANY women/couple that have kids that tend to not have a life other than being a parent. it's not their choice, it's their responsibility. and my parents arent in the US, i have absolutely no family here, so it's kinda hard to rely on family for the caring of my kids when i have none.

i just dont have the desire at all at this point in life. maybe later

BukHooKee
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Post by BukHooKee » Apr 3rd, '10, 01:57

The dude/dudette who wrote this is a genius and I wouldn't mind meeting them in person. Gives new meaning to the term, "white washed". Well I guess America is a crack pot, I mean melting pot.

quote:

"Those (Asian couples) that choose to remain with each other are stamped as 'Asian and foreign', while on an unspoken but quite apparent level - only Asian women are afforded the opportunity to mingle and integrate into white social circles and white families.


The psychological pressure on the Asian woman to conform becomes immensely powerful, given the life-long indoctrination she is given by a mainstream American media that is completely devoid of images of Asian faces and depictions of viable Asian-American couples/families. This will gradually and inevitably destroy the kindred bond the Asian female shares with the Asian male from a young age, and the damage is thorough and complete.


In other words, the internalized racism that Asian-American children learn from the American Media destroys their ethnic self-esteem - and this in turn erodes the ability of the Asian-American boy and girl to love each other as adults."

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PocketKiriyama
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Post by PocketKiriyama » Apr 3rd, '10, 01:58

HongKongChick wrote: i intend to have the "dad" around of course. but trust me, not alot of guys are "willing" to help out as much as a mother would. i guess guys will NEVER understand what is it like to be a mother since they dont have to carry the baby for 9 months and have to go thru the pain giving birth. and alot of women end up depressed because at the beginning of motherhood can be stressful and tiring. i just dont think i have that energy to deal with all that if the dad isnt helpful. haha...

i do agree that we can balance our lives. just that i have seen MANY women/couple that have kids that tend to not have a life other than being a parent. it's not their choice, it's their responsibility. and my parents arent in the US, i have absolutely no family here, so it's kinda hard to rely on family for the caring of my kids when i have none.

i just dont have the desire at all at this point in life. maybe later
I'll be very happy to help my special someone raise the little midgets. After all, I'm the father It's only right theat as parents we share the burden and joy of raising our own flesh and blood.

BukHooKee
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Post by BukHooKee » Apr 3rd, '10, 01:58

Forgot to say, Honger chick, you post too much. Shouldn't you be working on your cars or something. Prelude for life!

temporaryinsanit
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Post by temporaryinsanit » Apr 3rd, '10, 02:27

You know I would have no idea because where I live (NYC), there is such an array of people. I see Asian couples and mixed couples all the time. Me personally I have nothing against Asian guys just never had the chance to actually get to know a Asian guy to the point of being together. However I do find the fact that Asian girls date other races more true, my only reason for thinking this is because most of the time when I see a Asian-white,black,south Asian, etc couple, it's mostly an Asian girl and someone else. I rarely see an Asian guy with a girl from another race. They might be from different nationalities but even that's a maybe. I'm guessing this is because of the things taught by society since young. Plus the fact that people tend to stay in their comfort zones. I guess all both sides have to do is gain some courage and ask that girl/guy out or stop being misled by articles like "why Asian women don't date Asian men" (society)! :unsure:

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PocketKiriyama
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Post by PocketKiriyama » Apr 3rd, '10, 17:56

temporaryinsanit wrote:You know I would have no idea because where I live (NYC), there is such an array of people. I see Asian couples and mixed couples all the time. Me personally I have nothing against Asian guys just never had the chance to actually get to know a Asian guy to the point of being together. However I do find the fact that Asian girls date other races more true, my only reason for thinking this is because most of the time when I see a Asian-white,black,south Asian, etc couple, it's mostly an Asian girl and someone else. I rarely see an Asian guy with a girl from another race. They might be from different nationalities but even that's a maybe. I'm guessing this is because of the things taught by society since young. Plus the fact that people tend to stay in their comfort zones. I guess all both sides have to do is gain some courage and ask that girl/guy out or stop being misled by articles like "why Asian women don't date Asian men" (society)! :unsure:
Not really an article to mislead but to encourage a discussion and debates, I do agree with you.

HongKongChick
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Post by HongKongChick » Apr 5th, '10, 17:07

BukHooKee wrote:Forgot to say, Honger chick, you post too much. Shouldn't you be working on your cars or something. Prelude for life!
ha ha.. funny

i dont post too much. i dont think i post enough! WHAHAHA :lol

i was working on the car this weekend, alright? about to drop a motor in :whistling:

HongKongChick
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Post by HongKongChick » Apr 5th, '10, 17:09

temporaryinsanit wrote:You know I would have no idea because where I live (NYC), there is such an array of people. I see Asian couples and mixed couples all the time. Me personally I have nothing against Asian guys just never had the chance to actually get to know a Asian guy to the point of being together. However I do find the fact that Asian girls date other races more true, my only reason for thinking this is because most of the time when I see a Asian-white,black,south Asian, etc couple, it's mostly an Asian girl and someone else. I rarely see an Asian guy with a girl from another race. They might be from different nationalities but even that's a maybe. I'm guessing this is because of the things taught by society since young. Plus the fact that people tend to stay in their comfort zones. I guess all both sides have to do is gain some courage and ask that girl/guy out or stop being misled by articles like "why Asian women don't date Asian men" (society)! :unsure:
and.... the grass is greener on the other side? :lol

but it's really true, i dont see alot of Asian guys with other races as much as Asian girls. i am guilty of being one of those girls.

but when it comes down to it. it's really all about the connection between two humans. and i guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder

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PocketKiriyama
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Post by PocketKiriyama » Apr 5th, '10, 23:36

HongKongChick wrote:
BukHooKee wrote:Forgot to say, Honger chick, you post too much. Shouldn't you be working on your cars or something. Prelude for life!
ha ha.. funny

i dont post too much. i dont think i post enough! WHAHAHA :lol

i was working on the car this weekend, alright? about to drop a motor in :whistling:
Nice! I on the other hand was out of town over the weekend. I sure travel a lot. I went to a casino for fun and won a little bit of money...then again I barely ever lose.

HongKongChick
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Post by HongKongChick » Apr 6th, '10, 17:00

PocketKiriyama wrote:
Nice! I on the other hand was out of town over the weekend. I sure travel a lot. I went to a casino for fun and won a little bit of money...then again I barely ever lose.
oh, never lose? how do u manage that? i'll be lucky if i break even! :-)

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PocketKiriyama
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Post by PocketKiriyama » Apr 6th, '10, 17:33

HongKongChick wrote:
PocketKiriyama wrote:
Nice! I on the other hand was out of town over the weekend. I sure travel a lot. I went to a casino for fun and won a little bit of money...then again I barely ever lose.
oh, never lose? how do u manage that? i'll be lucky if i break even! :-)
I just play small. Then pick up all the habits and percentage on the game. Since I play small even if I lose, I lose a little bit at a time enabling me plenty of time to catch on a lot of things in the game. Even if I'm 99% sure I'm going to win the game at hand I still don't bet big because that 1% of me losing can happen.

HongKongChick
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Post by HongKongChick » Apr 6th, '10, 17:38

last time i was in vegas. i won big on some machine, lost it at the wheel of fortune machine... hahah.... but i broke even though.

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PocketKiriyama
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Post by PocketKiriyama » Apr 6th, '10, 17:50

HongKongChick wrote:last time i was in vegas. i won big on some machine, lost it at the wheel of fortune machine... hahah.... but i broke even though.
Yeah its a rule I go by. I go in with only 20 dollars. If I lose 20 then I call it quits and try again another day.

HongKongChick
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Post by HongKongChick » Apr 6th, '10, 18:50

my rule for vegas is that never play the same type of machine twice in one day. and when i am up, i quit. and the most i would spend on one machine is a 100.

never fails. i would break my own rule, at the wheel of fortune machine, and i lost the money i won in other machines.

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PocketKiriyama
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Post by PocketKiriyama » Apr 7th, '10, 17:23

HongKongChick wrote:my rule for vegas is that never play the same type of machine twice in one day. and when i am up, i quit. and the most i would spend on one machine is a 100.

never fails. i would break my own rule, at the wheel of fortune machine, and i lost the money i won in other machines.
I have a lot of temptations but gambling isn't one of them.

I think i should start a thread for car talk instead of raiding this thread.

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