Attention span of girls

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zippyflu
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Attention span of girls

Post by zippyflu » Oct 10th, '06, 17:21

OK, how long does it take for a girl to be interested in a guy?? and be disinterested... lets say after hanging out with other friends....does me coming off as a "guy who likes to have fun" type makes girls interest time shorter?? or am i just not responding fast enough???

kotaeshiranaihito
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Re: Attention span of girls

Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Oct 10th, '06, 17:29

zippyflu wrote:OK, how long does it take for a girl to be interested in a guy?? and be disinterested... lets say after hanging out with other friends....does me coming off as a "guy who likes to have fun" type makes girls interest time shorter?? or am i just not responding fast enough???
What are you talking about? Can you give a better detailed explanation? What is your definition of "guy who likes to have fun"? Is it farting, screaming, getting drunk and streaking or something?

nikochanr3
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Post by nikochanr3 » Oct 10th, '06, 17:32

Yeah, not to be mean but i think you need to phrase that first sentence better. :goggle:
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AngelicLayer
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Post by AngelicLayer » Oct 10th, '06, 17:33

to be interested in a guy takes some seconds after you had noticed him! To ask his name takes 5 minutes and to get to know everything you´ve noticed , can sometimes take your whole life! As a girl and with my own experience..I would say that the " guy who likes to have fun " can make a girl ( me and my chicks as good as I now!) interested in him, but it depends on how good and how long he can act as the funny type! Because sometimes you get bored with it! I dunno if I understood your questions I just wrote something! Sorry!

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zippyflu
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Post by zippyflu » Oct 10th, '06, 20:25

yea sorrie let me repharse, it seems like when i first meet a girl through friends or whatnot, we have a good time. actually heres an example.. one time, a few of my friends came to visit me at work..and after work we all went to AC to hang out and stuff.. the next night.. supposedly, she came to my workplace (cuz she knew i was suppose to be at work) but i wasnt there.. i was working somewhere else.. I knew she came by becuase the other guy that worked there told me a girl came by....and i figured it was her.. dats one story... another story is this.. me and my ex gf's friends where hanging out... all of a sudden.. she found me on xanga, and myspace.. we talked a few times leaving comments and stuff... but it kinda stopped.. i was hoping it would continue.. but it didnt.. soo you see... dats y im asking how long is the attention span of a girl.. and the part "guy who likes to have fun" in lamer terms i mean "player" but im not.. i get misunderstood because i like to have fun...

mimmi
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Post by mimmi » Oct 10th, '06, 20:41

sorry zippyflu, I'll come back next time to answer your question seriously....can't give an answer this time; not a good time....my mind is too fast a head of me, so the words won't make any sense if I answer it now.....sorry....

kotaeshiranaihito
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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Oct 10th, '06, 20:51

zippyflu wrote:yea sorrie let me repharse, it seems like when i first meet a girl through friends or whatnot, we have a good time. actually heres an example.. one time, a few of my friends came to visit me at work..and after work we all went to AC to hang out and stuff.. the next night.. supposedly, she came to my workplace (cuz she knew i was suppose to be at work) but i wasnt there.. i was working somewhere else.. I knew she came by becuase the other guy that worked there told me a girl came by....and i figured it was her.. dats one story... another story is this.. me and my ex gf's friends where hanging out... all of a sudden.. she found me on xanga, and myspace.. we talked a few times leaving comments and stuff... but it kinda stopped.. i was hoping it would continue.. but it didnt.. soo you see... dats y im asking how long is the attention span of a girl.. and the part "guy who likes to have fun" in lamer terms i mean "player" but im not.. i get misunderstood because i like to have fun...
The first situation is still too vague.

In the second one did you IM her often? If so that's the reason. The more you want to talk to them the less they want to talk to you (at least at first). Like if you IM her every day you're going to see that little by little your conversations will become shorter until she finally starts giving you one word answers if not ignoring you completely. If you IM her like once a week you'll see she'll be more interested in you and if you have some kind of event lined up invite her to it-personal experiences.

mimmi
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Post by mimmi » Oct 16th, '06, 21:49

well, girl #1whom came to your work place; did you get in touch with her later on? if not, then she'll think you're not interested in her....maybe she likes you, and wants to feel you out that's why she came to look for you, but if no response from you, then she'll stop (not the aggressive type)....girl #2 on IM....what ever you talked to her about is not holding her curiousity or interest about/in you....like Kota said; invite her out to any events....all girls are different in their interests in guys....good luck and keep on looking for that right one :-)....you like to have fun....don't just push on her what you want to do, ask her what she likes to do too....when taking her out, ask her if she's having fun or is she feeling tired and wants to go home or wants to do anything else (what she likes)....show interest in her interests and well being too....if you're not interesting enough, girls get bored so easily....that's my two cents....again; good luck :-)....

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Cub
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Post by Cub » Oct 17th, '06, 09:19

Attention span of... OOH! Shiny thing!!!

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sweetsamurai
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lol

Post by sweetsamurai » Oct 17th, '06, 09:44

Cub wrote:Attention span of... OOH! Shiny thing!!!
Rofl. There are different types of girls - we are not all the same. :)

I just go with the flow - don't look for a girl - it will just happen - if you meet someone out of the blue and click - you will have fun - but if you work for it and hunt for it - it will be short-lived. Good luck! :thumright: :D

nikochanr3
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Post by nikochanr3 » Oct 17th, '06, 14:16

Play it by ear. i wouldnt worry early on about paying too little attention, cause girls who want a LOT of attention early on i think would let you know. if they are constantly in your face, pay more attention. if not, pay attention when you want to. :salut: all girls are different, although looking needy is never good.
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darkchrno
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Post by darkchrno » Oct 27th, '06, 19:16

Just like sex=/ most(not all) girls' interest span are short :-( girls around me just keep on changing boyfriends very frequent :O this is how the society these days work :| if a guy is handsome the interest of a girl toward him will change by the time she finds a hotter guy :crazy:

and the answer to the TS question is> girls are unpredictable=)

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anglvue
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Post by anglvue » Nov 5th, '06, 04:04

i agree with darkchrno...girls are unpredictable!
you never know what we will do. you never really know if a girl likes you or not because there are those that come on strong and then there are those that keep the distance but are always thinking about you. to really know if a girl likes you, you either ask her best friend or ask her yourself.
bi kissed me in the spring,
brian in the fall,
But minwoo only looked at me
And never kissed me at all
bi's kiss was lost in jest,
brian's lost in play
But the kiss in minwoo's eyes
Haunts me night and day

AboutDrama
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Post by AboutDrama » Nov 7th, '06, 01:26

Hi zippyflu,

Interesting question. mimmi hits the right point.
Though the post is one year ago, here are my opinions based on experiences: Sometimes girl who is interested with you will try to get to know you or try to talk to you. But if you don't really response girl gets message and knows you'r not interested with you. So girl will stop talking to you. For the second case, most likely you didn't hit the right topics and the gal felt "frequency" not connected and hence, loose interested. I agree with anglvue, gals are unpredictable. Sometime a quiet guy will get some gals' attention, vice versa some guys who talk a lot may get other gals' attention. It's all depends on preference and feel connected (means "same frequency wave/ thoughts").

AboutDrama
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Post by AboutDrama » Nov 7th, '06, 01:26

darkchrno,

May be you haven't found the right girl yet ...

darkchrno
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Post by darkchrno » Nov 7th, '06, 15:04

AboutDrama wrote:darkchrno,

May be you haven't found the right girl yet ...
i meant my all friends are like that 8) yes, even the boys :lol

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Yunase
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Re: Attention span of girls

Post by Yunase » Nov 7th, '06, 23:07

zippyflu wrote:OK, how long does it take for a girl to be interested in a guy?? and be disinterested... lets say after hanging out with other friends....does me coming off as a "guy who likes to have fun" type makes girls interest time shorter?? or am i just not responding fast enough???
No offense, but I think that she was simply flirting "softly" with you. Meaning that she saw you as a potential toy to cut off her bore, like an innocent little puppy, cute and touching, that entertained her during her free time. Your problem is that you didn't built her interest high enough and made her attracted to you when you had a chance. She put you under the status of a nice guy and eventually forgot you. There's nothing dramatic, just remember it next time.
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zippyflu
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Post by zippyflu » Nov 13th, '06, 07:25

ouch... nicely said.

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Yunase
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Post by Yunase » Nov 15th, '06, 20:26

When she acted like she was interested to you (see you at work, chat, etc...), she was in fact testing you directly. Her main aim was to target your reaction and you did well by not showing her what every women didn't wanted to see : a guy who would have confess his love to her at the first sight (sigh :( ).

This explains you why she tried to see you at work , why she did some stuff in order to get your attention : she was chasing you. You were the prize, she was the contestant. You were the George Clooney in the car, she was the fan waiting under the rain to see you.

However, you never really spoke to her, or had the opportunity to build some rapport. By rapport, I mean trust and comfort, to convey your values and personnality by discussing, fluffing, telling her exciting stories, be funny, entertaining, surprise her in your answer. (eg : "have you ever been in love ?", "hey, are you telling me that you're in love me ? Sorry I'm not free until 2023, guess you'll have to wait.") It makes her feel comfortable with you and want to see you again.

By constantly ignoring her, she eventually got bored. You weren't playing with her. At a moment, she probably told herself : "What's the point chasing someone who's not challenging ? There are other men around !". Which she did.
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AboutDrama
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Post by AboutDrama » Nov 15th, '06, 23:47

Probably she is interested in challenging guy. But there are many other possibilities. For example she may be sense that the guy is NOT into her, probably though the way she interpreted from how the guy reacted or though the content of the conversation, (she maybe misinterpreted the facts) and she just backs off. In my opinion, not every girl wants a challenging guy. Some girls just want guys of probably "less" challenging.

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Yunase
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Post by Yunase » Nov 17th, '06, 14:34

You're right, girls are really complex and sometimes even more "unlogical". :)

You reminded me an experience I had last week when I asked my (girl)friends questions about their ideal boyfriend for fun. The answers they gave me shared a lot of similarities : the guy had to be tall, good-looking, nice, sexy, confident... Which translated correctly meant that if you were a small, ugly, jerky, average looking and needy guy, you were politely "dismissed". Those were plausible answers coming from girls who were really beautiful, enough to have been able to make perfect models for magazines's cover. In fact, those were answers you could heard a thousand times from any women.

The second after my little survey, yet, when I saw their boyfriends, I had to admit that some of them violated every single "rule" that had been written previously. There weren't anything special about them. Some were small and ugly, some looked stupid and fat. "Why the hell would they go out with them" I asked myself at first ? One will think that money is a possible explanation. Maybe those guys were rich perverts who manipulated them. Others will ask themselves why would the girls say one thing and then do the exact opposite ? The answer was quite simple after you talk a little bit with their boyfriends : they were really interesting persons and had strong personnalities. Although their physics weren't outstanding, they were attractive because they knew how to make you see them beyond their aspects. The strong inner confidence they had wasn't built on a day, it came from rejection, deception, and many other painful feelings they could have experience before...
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cocomurata
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Post by cocomurata » Nov 17th, '06, 22:32

Yunase wrote:The strong inner confidence they had wasn't built on a day, it came from rejection, deception, and many other painful feelings they could have experience before...
Don't be too quick to judge. By saying that those guys endured timeless beating of their self-esteems, you're essentially saying that they were losers to begin with. A guy can't be interesting from the start?

You make your friends sound as though they are all-derserving, but how do I know they aren't barbie dolls who only know how to paint their fingernails?

You do have a point, though. Ironically enough, I see ugly guys hooking up with pretty women, but never the other way around.

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cookie-n-cream
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Post by cookie-n-cream » Nov 19th, '06, 11:07

girls are really complicated.. -__-" girls just like to grab your attention and hope you will like her back. Girls likes getting compliments and flirts from guys, sometimes. Probably you didnt give her that so she got bored. MAYBE like that. Or maybe She was probably just a little bit interested in you that she wanted to give it a go. And when i mean give it a go i mean doing some flirting or maybe grabbing your attention with the talks and all. Well, you just havent met the 'right' girl yet. It isnt you that is making them less interested, its them getting bored of the fun and looking for a nother guy to have fun with. OR MAYBE they think you weren't the guy for them...

You just stay as yourself and find someone who is ineterested in you and you are interested in her too. And have something interesting to talk about that can go on forever even when there are dead conversations sometimes. Ta;l about Anything random.. talk about cheese if you have to..

If you like to have fun, then go spend some fun time with her. Get to know her and she will get to know you too. And if this goes on, you both will become closer and can be really good friends, or maybe further. I dunno. =P

well, i hope i helped..

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Yunase
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Post by Yunase » Nov 19th, '06, 14:48

cocomurata wrote:
Yunase wrote:The strong inner confidence they had wasn't built on a day, it came from rejection, deception, and many other painful feelings they could have experience before...
Don't be too quick to judge. By saying that those guys endured timeless beating of their self-esteems, you're essentially saying that they were losers to begin with. A guy can't be interesting from the start?

You make your friends sound as though they are all-derserving, but how do I know they aren't barbie dolls who only know how to paint their fingernails?

You do have a point, though. Ironically enough, I see ugly guys hooking up with pretty women, but never the other way around.
Those guys aren't losers at all, they are just people who have a very valuable experience. They confirmed an opinion I already had : if you want to be able to attract girls, you have to be prepared to get rejected first. Put it in more simple words, you'll have to learn through your failure. I'm sorry to disappoint some people but I seriously doubt that everyone had a good experience with women generally speaking. Being a good guy is not enough. Being hot is also not enough. Being experienced is the only good start.

In movies, you always see the good guy go out with the girl he had dreamed after begging her like a dog. In real life, you do the same thing and she tells you that you're sweet, that girls will find you attractive, that she likes you, and go to f*** with someone else (sometimes with a friend you know she hit on 5 min before).That's it. And you feel empty, unable to understand this kind of situation. At this point, some people then try to understand it and change. Others will simply cry out and curse them as "bitches". Some will realize that women are also human beings and stop idolizing them as they were goddess while others will buy them dinners or call them 24/24. That's when those guys become successful in their life in general while the rest will keep their routine and refuse to admit that sometimes, the problem is not to make women change, but you to change in the way they perceive you.

My friends are not "deserving", they are just "selective". Being beautiful is sometimes more inconvenient than being just "good-looking". Simply ask one of your hot friend and she will explain you why. I said in my previous post that when I saw their boyfriends, some surprised me. Just imagine a second Jessica Alba going out with dwarf coming out from snow white. And for the barbie doll thing, no they aren't because they are not blonde. (Sorry for the blondes). :)
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