Do u feel financially depressed when it comes to the idea gf

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gf costs too much money

yes
18
45%
no
22
55%
 
Total votes: 40

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pwner4once
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Do u feel financially depressed when it comes to the idea gf

Post by pwner4once » Aug 28th, '06, 03:34

just like the subject says, I am wonder who on d-addicts have a problem with having gf because of money. For me, I tend to back away from girls that's really close to me because i will start thinking of all the stuff i need to buy to satisfy one. It's not that i am poor yet maybe i am just cheap.

for the guys, do u think it's necessary to buy them stuff on ocassionals or is it alrite to not buy anything

for the girls, would u guys perfer to get gifts often... like a monthly basis?

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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Aug 28th, '06, 03:46

As I said before money is a very important thing a girl looks for in a guy (no matter what they say), but there is a big difference between having money and actually spending it on them. All you need to do is have money to satisfy them on an unconcious level. Think of their DNA as a security guard to their conscious, once the guard sees you qualify with certain aspects (money being one of them) he'll let you through to the girl. Once you're there, you honestly don't have to spend much on her.

An occasional surprise gift is okay (it doesn't even have to be expensive), but make sure you don't spoil her, otherwhise you're going to become nothing more than her bank and she'll never respect you.

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Post by hakuharu » Aug 28th, '06, 04:50

Well, I at first I thought kotaeshiranaihito's answer sounds just too macho and cynic... But than I can't really object because I think he's basically correct... ( :cussing: how I hate to admit this!)
All you need to do is have money to satisfy them on an unconcious level.
<-- caught me offguard and made me somewhat mad, but you are right. t sounds ancient... Because most girls unconciously think about "later": "Can he feed me in bad times?" "Does he want to support a family, be it 2 or 3 or 6, with or without me."
I mean, honestly, I wouldn't take a man for life who's only sitting on my couch never doing nothing, letting me do all the work :glare:
Same with gifts, you need to show respect, you need to show you care.
An occasional surprise gift is okay
yup, it is. bunch of flowers she's not expecting, chocolate, diet coke you bring her from the fridge, cooking supper when she comes home really exhausted... without her having to ask you for this and not only after a fight (it's so lame when you only get gifts after a fight). Show's you are interested enough to notice her state or thinking of her when she's not with you. Doesn't have to be expensive. :)
If you always end up with girls who only go for expensive gifts, you're probably doing something wrong. Starting with picking the wrong girl :whistling:
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Post by Fieryshadow » Aug 28th, '06, 04:58

i think they do... im poor as hell and i stay away from having a gf. ><

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Post by Morgaine » Aug 28th, '06, 05:16

Speaking from a chick's point of view, no, I don't need/want a guy to buy me gifts, expensive or otherwise. I'm an engineer - why the heck would I need a guy's money?

Yeah, I do like little gifts - g guy who surprises me with something as small as a single flower is enough. I prefer guys who take the extra step and call me randomly or make an extra trip to see me rather than someone who buys me something. It's the thought, to me, and not the gift.

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Post by Eileithyia » Aug 28th, '06, 18:14

i don't buy any gfs too many gifts. if i buy something, i would be cheap. i just buy them soemthing when they didn't expected it

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Post by angeizahoy » Aug 28th, '06, 18:36

thats quite funny actually. my boyfriend and i were having this conversation the other day, about how money is a factor that girls look at when deciding on boyfriends. i'll say though, other than my birthday and christmas, i think i've only received 2 or 3 spontaneous gifts in 15 months. i mean, spontaneous gifts are nice, but i don't place much importance on them, like i'm not gonna demand he get me this and that. although, i admit, he does most of the paying when we go out... -__- well, at least now, we've agreed that we'll split the bill whenever we go out, or sometimes i pay all. his logic was that in the beginning, in the "courting the girl" phase, okay fine, the guy pays. now that its been so long, it's just more fair to split the costs. besides, when you're young, your money is your parents money really. neither of us have jobs, LOL. why place importance on the money factor?

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Post by Icemastr » Aug 28th, '06, 18:37

I am recently married and I don't work. My wife makes all the money so no I don't feel financially strained because of my partner. She married me when I was poor and I am still poor.

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Post by nadesico » Aug 28th, '06, 18:44

It's seems that I am the only one to find the question silly, sorry,I don't want to be offensive pwner4once, but if I believe you, you are 17, am I right? nobody expecting you to provide food, shelter, diamonds or anything else for a girl. If It's money the only reason why you are avoiding having a gf, nothing can be done to help you.
It appears to me a strong prejudice: so women are expensive?!Oh please, someone mentionned here that even women declare that money doesn't matter, it does. That depends on the girl(is she a vain little creature or not), her age(a girl in her 20s and over expects maybe more from a man than a girl in her teens) and other things. Maybe you have encountered in your love life vain and silly girls that would explain your point of view, but bear that in mind:you have to show a gf you CARE for her, and that doesn't necesserely money, and just listen to your heart: if you feel you want to give her something, do it, any girl would be pleased to get something out of the blue.Don't let money blurs your view as concerning your love life!

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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Aug 28th, '06, 19:09

nadesico wrote:It's seems that I am the only one to find the question silly, sorry,I don't want to be offensive pwner4once, but if I believe you, you are 17, am I right? nobody expecting you to provide food, shelter, diamonds or anything else for a girl. If It's money the only reason why you are avoiding having a gf, nothing can be done to help you.
It appears to me a strong prejudice: so women are expensive?!Oh please, someone mentionned here that even women declare that money doesn't matter, it does. That depends on the girl(is she a vain little creature or not), her age(a girl in her 20s and over expects maybe more from a man than a girl in her teens) and other things. Maybe you have encountered in your love life vain and silly girls that would explain your point of view, but bear that in mind:you have to show a gf you CARE for her, and that doesn't necesserely money, and just listen to your heart: if you feel you want to give her something, do it, any girl would be pleased to get something out of the blue.Don't let money blurs your view as concerning your love life!
It's easy to preach when you're not the one who's actually paying [on a regular basis]. Instead of sticking with those fairy tales you say to keep your guilt in tact, why don't you go out into the real world and find out what it's like, then come here and preach. It's one thing when you look at the game from the sidelines and it's another when you're actually playing it.

people who have no experience really should not butt in, the only thing you're doing is setting others back.

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Post by minikui » Aug 28th, '06, 19:18

i agree that it depends on the girl oO I don't expect my boyfriend to buy me anything at all, maybe a birthday present. You shouldn't stay away from girls just because you feel that you don't have enough money for them. Some girls care about money and others don't ...

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Post by nadesico » Aug 28th, '06, 19:50

kotaeshiranaihito wrote:
nadesico wrote:It's seems that I am the only one to find the question silly, sorry,I don't want to be offensive pwner4once, but if I believe you, you are 17, am I right? nobody expecting you to provide food, shelter, diamonds or anything else for a girl. If It's money the only reason why you are avoiding having a gf, nothing can be done to help you.
It appears to me a strong prejudice: so women are expensive?!Oh please, someone mentionned here that even women declare that money doesn't matter, it does. That depends on the girl(is she a vain little creature or not), her age(a girl in her 20s and over expects maybe more from a man than a girl in her teens) and other things. Maybe you have encountered in your love life vain and silly girls that would explain your point of view, but bear that in mind:you have to show a gf you CARE for her, and that doesn't necesserely money, and just listen to your heart: if you feel you want to give her something, do it, any girl would be pleased to get something out of the blue.Don't let money blurs your view as concerning your love life!
It's easy to preach when you're not the one who's actually paying [on a regular basis]. Instead of sticking with those fairy tales you say to keep your guilt in tact, why don't you go out into the real world and find out what it's like, then come here and preach. It's one thing when you look at the game from the sidelines and it's another when you're actually playing it.

people who have no experience really should not butt in, the only thing you're doing is setting others back.
What a nice answer you give me!!that's so sweet of you and I really appreciate your politeness. Apparently you have a lot of experience concerning relationships, and also, you are an extralucid because you actually KNOW I have no experience. By the way, how do you know?Can you guess people's private life in front of your computer just by looking their avatars and sigs?So you know me?And what makes you think you are more entitled than me to give your wise and almighty opinion?Oh, I know, it's because I'm a girl
and so I live in a world of fairy tales, that's right? You seem to be so good concerning female psychology, you should write some books.
I really have no respect whatsoever for people like you who are so impolite and full of themselves on the net. It's really easy to answer me like this when you are sitting in front of your computer, lucky for you there's someone like me on who you cant vent your frustration,glad to help :salut:
Anyway, continue to give your precious advices without worries, i am not coming to this interesting thread anymore(that breaks my heart).
By the way, in case you don't know, there's a name for someone you have to pay in order to get some"favours", as money seems to matter to you, maybe you are mistaking that kind of people with a girlfriend, it's always good to know the difference.

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Post by Littleangel91356 » Aug 28th, '06, 20:07

kotaeshiranaihito wrote:
It's easy to preach when you're not the one who's actually paying [on a regular basis]. Instead of sticking with those fairy tales you say to keep your guilt in tact, why don't you go out into the real world and find out what it's like, then come here and preach. It's one thing when you look at the game from the sidelines and it's another when you're actually playing it.

people who have no experience really should not butt in, the only thing you're doing is setting others back.
oh leave her alone, she's actually correct. Who would expect like financial backup from a teenager? Yes some girls want money so they can get whatever they want but decide that after dating that person cause if you turn off every single girl, you're not going to diferenciate with who wants the money and not. Oh yes, I love money but I don't expect it from a guy, I expect it from work and my parents (afterall, they give me something) afterall, I'm ONLY 16, I just need money from my parents and nothing else.

I guess caring for that person is more weighted than money and of course, believing and trusting the person. The reason most people change over the years is they aren't cared for, trusted and betrayed and was poor. So if you actually start believing that person that the person is not for money but love, they'll feel guilty for their misgivings. If they don't, just dump her, she's not worthy for you.

yeah I have no relationships in love and everything but I can understand enough. Yeah kotaeshirazu just should back off from his antics cause it's false. How do you know if a girl just wants the money? I sure don't want any, I just want honest and generous feelings instead of paper.

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Post by pokute » Aug 28th, '06, 20:20

It would creep me out to find out that a girl *expected* me to pay for her this, that, etc. I only ever went out with girls who were proud to be independent and able to take care of themselves. Since I just finished watching Full House, I will take Han Ji-eun as an example of the kind of girl I mean. Able to accept gifts and to appreciate them, but not expecting anything.

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Post by groink » Aug 28th, '06, 20:22

From an old man's point of view... It really depends on the age and maturity level of the female.

For younger women in their teens and through their 20s, money is of an importance to keep her attention. In short, their attention spans are short. That's why guys find themselves spending too much money on these women. From both my personal experiences and what I've seen of others, young women is still in that mode where relationships aren't as important as other aspects of their lives, such as education, getting their working careers in gear, and so on. Let's be honest here... For most men dating women of this age, you WANT your woman to stand on a solid foundation and have her own life in check, rather than a woman who's basically a scatter-brain. For this to happen, she must set her priorities, and quite honestly YOU are not on the top of her list. You're maybe in the top-5. That's why most guys find themselves spending money on these women. It is almost like these women are politicians, and the men are lobbyists.

As women reach their 30s, they become more mature. I'd say that most mature women have already established themselves in the workforce, and have many points in their life plans checked off. This will allow her to focus more on a relationship with a man. These women are less concerned about money (they already have it) and more about the lovingness a relationship will provide. Some women may even have a feeling of lonliness.

But there's one thing you MUST watch out for... That is the independant woman. If you look at many western and eastern cultures nowadays, you will see that women are putting off marriage later and later. Especially in Japan, there are women in their 30s who still live at home with her parents, and spend a vast percentage of her earnings on frivilous things like trips and expensive handbags. In all, these women give men the impression that they're not needed. That's the WORST thing a man can be mixed up in because it totally sets them up for a HUGE fall, and your bank account in the red. You're going to totally in love with her, and that credit card is going to get worn out FAST. The one thing you MUST look for EARLY ON are signs that she wants to spend time with you and be with you. Otherwise, you're going to find yourself mixed up that politician/lobbyist relationship, and that'll go absolutely nowhere.

This is why, even when I was in my early 20s, I preferred women in her 30s and older. I wasn't in the mood to find girls just to mount each night. IMHO, constantly spending money on a woman to no end is basically making her somewhat of a prostitute, and the man is waving in her face a blank check. And she WILL take total advantage of the situation.

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Post by nikochanr3 » Aug 28th, '06, 20:27

I love these detailed answers people give. = :P Well, i love their length. The ADD won't let me fully appreciate it, but i'm sure they are good.

For me
I never dated a woman who wanted more than i could afford and didn't understand i couldn't / shouldn't give it. It's pretty simple. If the possibility of you being bankrupt to support her doesn't seem to matter, then she's no good... to me that's a major no no and breakoff point.
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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Aug 28th, '06, 21:09

nikochanr3 wrote:I love these detailed answers people give. = :P Well, i love their length. The ADD won't let me fully appreciate it, but i'm sure they are good.

For me
I never dated a woman who wanted more than i could afford and didn't understand i couldn't / shouldn't give it. It's pretty simple. If the possibility of you being bankrupt to support her doesn't seem to matter, then she's no good... to me that's a major no no and breakoff point.
Yeah, I have ADD as well, it really sucks when the posts are long as hell. but trust me you aren't missing much. It's mostly the same crap "love is more important", "money doesn't matter", "I don't care about money" and the like.

The only people who believe in such stupidity are spoiled people who never truly had to earn it. They grow up in a bubble believing nothing more or less than the idealistic crap they see on TV and convince themselves that that's what the world is really like. They grow up knowing nothing about the real world and the complain when their bubble is burst in their mid 20's or 30's, and they truly realize they weren't prepared for the world. It's sad to think what kind of adults these people will become.

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Post by Littleangel91356 » Aug 28th, '06, 21:33

where's antok? I miss him cause he bashed you up totally kotaeshirazu.

Don't talk like you know girls, that's what pisses any girl off the most.
I have slight ADD but I'm willing to read cause it may be good and meaningful than SOME ignorant posts out there.

Oh yeah we ARE spoiled. We are spoiled to be allowed to say back at anyone who's against your thoughts, opinions and everything. We ARE spoiled to know the reality. Oh yeah, get a life than insulting people who know what they are saying.

I'm sure you'll never get true love by the way you are saying. Even though true love may never really exist, at least a decent one would never come to your way. Go get some prostitute or something if you want a girl after your money.

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Post by scott12199 » Aug 28th, '06, 21:36

goddess... you will need alot of money
cute... some money
average... barely enough
below average... money is not required

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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Aug 28th, '06, 21:46

Littleangel91356 wrote:where's antok? I miss him cause he bashed you up totally kotaeshirazu.

Don't talk like you know girls, that's what pisses any girl off the most.
I have slight ADD but I'm willing to read cause it may be good and meaningful than SOME ignorant posts out there.

Oh yeah we ARE spoiled. We are spoiled to be allowed to say back at anyone who's against your thoughts, opinions and everything. We ARE spoiled to know the reality. Oh yeah, get a life than insulting people who know what they are saying.

I'm sure you'll never get true love by the way you are saying. Even though true love may never really exist, at least a decent one would never come to your way. Go get some prostitute or something if you want a girl after your money.

If you find something wrong with my posts, then kindly explain. It doesn't matter if they're guys or girls, people who say money isn't important are doing nothing more than fooling him/herself. If you don't believe this tell me why not, saying I'm wrong and will never find love means nothing to me.

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Post by groink » Aug 28th, '06, 21:51

scott12199 wrote:goddess... you will need alot of money
cute... some money
average... barely enough
below average... money is not required
These are quite true... The problem with them though is that, in all four situations, the woman is in command. Like my earlier post indicated, men must take control and HAVE control of himself.

--- groink

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Post by Littleangel91356 » Aug 28th, '06, 21:55

......
Last edited by Littleangel91356 on Oct 7th, '13, 09:09, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by giggi » Aug 28th, '06, 22:22

I think it also depends on which culture are you from and the social status of you and your GF.
If you are lower class and she is rich just going together to a restaurant could be very expensive...
(this is valid in culture like the japanese one or the italian one were man are supposed to pay for a dinner...) and even if you always choose resonable places at the end of the month you entertainment budget is dubled... (and I think this is perfectly right, I... would you consider my gf a **** for this?! :blink !

anyway money is not everything but defintely matters.... and love is sharing...


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Post by milleu87 » Aug 28th, '06, 22:32

it all depends on what kind of gf you get for yourselves. i mean it's not that rare i see some gf spending their bf money but then who is the stupid and not in control here?obviously the guy. getting yourself a gf like that of course costs money.

but not all girls like that and by doing generalizing like all gf cost you money. personally i do appreciate guy with money since it is a sense of security that he able to afford things and is financially independent. however i don't think girl expected the bf to constantly gives presents. birthday are important so if you don't give present during that time is kinda stingy i think.

rationally the gf knows if the bf doesn't have money for dinner and will be just as glad to pay for the dinner. if the gf just don't understand the bf situation then she is so immature and not rational that i think a gf like that should be dump.

well that is my 2 cents.

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Post by aNToK » Aug 28th, '06, 22:50

Ah, kota, you silly little ****...

You know, I almost feel sorry for you. You must have had either some crappy role models or some crappy experiences with women to have developed such a narrow-minded, low opinion of women.

I simply love how your first post starts with, "As I said before...", like there's some kind of following of people hanging on your words for enlightenment or education. There isn't. Btw, if you're going to try bringing up DNA as some kind of marker or gateway into the female psyche, you might try to use it in a situation where it actually supports your assumption, rather than shooting it down. I seriously doubt that many women subconsciously start soaking their panties at the thought of Bill Gates coming on to them. Monetary values are learned and formed through social interaction, not genetics. We're not quite that "evolved" yet.

The rest of your posts are pretty much just more of the same pablum we've come to expect from you. Nadesico gave a reasonable reply on his/her (?) thoughts, and your response is some stupid little assumption that they're inexperienced, sitting on the sidelines, and are just butting in? Still the narrow, assumptive ass you were before, I see.

Growing up in a bubble? Knowing nothing about the "real world?" Sorry, kid. I'm well past my 20's, make my living in the real world quite well, and happen to agree much more with pretty much every viewpoint in this thread but yours.

You appear to have a very low opinion of virtually everyone here but yourself. Let's see, if everyone else is over on one side, and kota's by himself over on that side over there, who exactly is living in a bubble here, moron?

One word, kota, POP!!!!


Y'know, I almost feel sorry for you. With your attitude towards women and relationships, the only kind of girl you'll possibly end up with will be some money-grubbing, plastic, shallow little **** who'll drop you in a heartbeat the minute your social or financial status slips a notch.

And it's exactly what you'll deserve.

On the plus side, it'll help to reinforce your idiotic ideas about women and dating, so in kota's little world, you'll be able to still say you're right. Too bad for you that nobody else will be there to hear....
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Post by GhstDreamer » Aug 28th, '06, 23:15

It takes two to tango - if a guy is not intellectually disabled and possesses the intellectual capacity to DECiDE and CHOOSE to use up all his money on his girlfriend who does not appreciate him both mentally, physically or financially, then don't **** about it. I highly doubt anyone is holding a gun to his head. Gosh, it's really that simple.
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Post by nikochanr3 » Aug 28th, '06, 23:20

i have a question for the person who wrote this topic, are you actively avioding girls cause you cant afford it? just curious...

that just strikes me as bizarre.
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Post by hakkablood » Aug 28th, '06, 23:20

Money isn't a problem.. just can't find her =/

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Post by jellybean » Aug 28th, '06, 23:26

LOL @ kota's response - so insecure. You almost sound like me!

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Post by Atomic » Aug 28th, '06, 23:34

Money isn 't really that big of a factor when dating in your teens, and early 20's... Majority of people that age are either unemployed or making the minimum wage.. The big factor obviously is attraction.. Do I find this person attractive? Is he/she fun to be around? Is he/she boring the f*** out me? etc etc..
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Re: Do u feel financially depressed when it comes to the ide

Post by juxvi3t » Aug 29th, '06, 00:04

pwner4once wrote:just like the subject says, I am wonder who on d-addicts have a problem with having gf because of money. For me, I tend to back away from girls that's really close to me because i will start thinking of all the stuff i need to buy to satisfy one. It's not that i am poor yet maybe i am just cheap.

for the guys, do u think it's necessary to buy them stuff on ocassionals or is it alrite to not buy anything

for the girls, would u guys perfer to get gifts often... like a monthly basis?
Eh, I'm a girl and I say that girls cost too much money. I hate high maintenance girls -_-;; Maybe you're a miser if you're not poor, but it's important to pay attention to the relationship, not to the money. And if a guy got me a gift on a monthly basis, even if he was my boyfriend...I'd get kinda freaked. Like "WTH do you want w/ me?"

But you should still buy girls special gifts on occasions like their birthdays or christmas. The usual

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Post by pwner4once » Aug 29th, '06, 00:09

Icemastr wrote:I am recently married and I don't work. My wife makes all the money so no I don't feel financially strained because of my partner. She married me when I was poor and I am still poor.
o_O are u serious?

to nadesico, by having a girlfriend or her expectation. i am not saying support for a family or anything. by financial meaning, i mean all the going out and gifts. and if some might say parents pay for all these days. well i have a job and it would be unreasonable for me to ask and it would be stupid if they even want to give me anything. As far as independence goes in my school, since i am stil in highschool. indepenent would be a non-existent term in my school as far as i can imagine. but under normal circumstance, what would the girl's friend say? and no don't say they will think she's immature. they will only say he's cheap or damn he's a fag in high school level. although i am generalizing the mass, yet as far as i know. my school is like that since it's a public school in a ghetto neighborhood.

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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Aug 29th, '06, 02:03

alright antok, just this once, I'll respond to your crap, after that real time only. and AIM and msn do not give you spyware, unless you're dumb enough to click on random links without asking the person who sent it to you first.
aNToK wrote:Ah, kota, you silly little ****...
hmm, you say I'm wrong, yet you are the one resorting to direct insults.
You know, I almost feel sorry for you. You must have had either some crappy role models or some crappy experiences with women to have developed such a narrow-minded, low opinion of women.
What low opinions? If you mean the remark I made about people being spoiled, it was not meant towards women, it was meant towards anyone who thinks money is not important in life (and that love and all that other stuff is more important). It's obvious these people never had money troubles so they don't think much about what life would be like without it, if that is not spoiled I don't know what is.

If it's my remark on the unconscious, well you should go argue with the scientists who spent a long time studying the differences between men and women (who were men and women themselves btw), and found the most plausible results possible. If you don't believe in that, well that's your problem.
I simply love how your first post starts with, "As I said before...", like there's some kind of following of people hanging on your words for enlightenment or education. There isn't. Btw, if you're going to try bringing up DNA as some kind of marker or gateway into the female psyche, you might try to use it in a situation where it actually supports your assumption, rather than shooting it down. I seriously doubt that many women subconsciously start soaking their panties at the thought of Bill Gates coming on to them. Monetary values are learned and formed through social interaction, not genetics. We're not quite that "evolved" yet.
Monetary values are learned and formed through social interaction, not genetics? Oh god, you obviously know nothing. Women are unconsciously attracted to power, stature, and emotional loyalty (times are changing but not that fast). Money is both power and stature mixed in one (so is height and personality-you can have a strong/smart personality that demands respect, or you can be weak and shy). You want to know more? Google those three things and see the studies done.
The rest of your posts are pretty much just more of the same pablum we've come to expect from you.
Expect from me? Didn't you just say no one was remembering what I said?
Nadesico gave a reasonable reply on his/her (?) thoughts, and your response is some stupid little assumption that they're inexperienced, sitting on the sidelines, and are just butting in? Still the narrow, assumptive ass you were before, I see.
Still with the insults. Are you really 34? for an old man you seem to have the mentality of a 13 year old. This particular quote I will only explain in real time. If I explain it here, it will be easily misinterpreted. And once again you computer illiterate, you don't get spyware from simply going on AIM.
Growing up in a bubble? Knowing nothing about the "real world?" Sorry, kid. I'm well past my 20's, make my living in the real world quite well, and happen to agree much more with pretty much every viewpoint in this thread but yours.
What do you want? A prize? You know all this time you're not really saying anything. Your long drawn out post is nothing more than "I don't agree with you so there".

As for your not agreeing with my viewpoint, weren't you the one who was spouting dumb fairy tales about love, that it was "a great blue sky with unicorns and bunnies hippity hopping up and down the trailway"? And when I said my opinion (the scientific one) was backed up by tons of research, all you said was "nah I don't believe in all that scientific mumbo jumbo, I'm right, you're wrong, they're wrong, end of story"?
You appear to have a very low opinion of virtually everyone here but yourself. Let's see, if everyone else is over on one side, and kota's by himself over on that side over there, who exactly is living in a bubble here, moron?

One word, kota, POP!!!!
Now, who's making assumptions? What was it based on? Oh yeah, one post on this thread. So you're doing the exact same thing you just accused me of doing, making assumptions. Yes, I saw a response from someone that seemed like a spoiled person's response, and I called them on it, just you like did to me. You saw a response that seemed condescending and called me on it. And you're still going with the insults.

Y'know, I almost feel sorry for you. With your attitude towards women and relationships, the only kind of girl you'll possibly end up with will be some money-grubbing, plastic, shallow little **** who'll drop you in a heartbeat the minute your social or financial status slips a notch.
Actually when I tell this to women in real life, they all agree with me and say it's a point of view they never thought of before, but that it really makes sense. You seem to think that I'm angry at women for some reason, well the reality is, I'm not (I must admit the only people who make me angry are people who condescend those in poverty by saying that money isn't important, but that's something to talk about in real time). I am simply stating that which was stated by scientists. This is how their DNA works, this is what it wants, you can either fight it, or go along with it. It's unconscious, they don't know themselves that it's happening, how can you hate a person for that?

It's not just women, men have unconscious occurences as well. For example, women always ask "why do guys get so jealous so easily? Aren't they secure?" Well the answer is, even if they are consciously secure, their unconscious can easily take over because sexual loyalty is one of the unconscious desires of men (the reasoning is because men can never know if they are the father or not, our DNA doesn't know about DNA testing oddly). There I said something scientific about men, happy? Does that mean I have a low opinion about men too? Because I actually think that we're all human, and not the perfect angels we pretend to be here?
And it's exactly what you'll deserve.
thank you, hope your wife gives you some soon.
On the plus side, it'll help to reinforce your idiotic ideas about women and dating, so in kota's little world, you'll be able to still say you're right. Too bad for you that nobody else will be there to hear....
Right, too bad these aren't my idiotic ideas, but they come from famous publishings based upon years of scientific research-of course that's not something a third rate counseler who "reads between the lines" and "learns how people feel" and starts cursing over and over would know anything about.

Glad your arm is better.

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Post by angeizahoy » Aug 29th, '06, 02:22

hey uh.. pwner4once, was this what you were hoping for when starting this thread? lol. arguments...

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Post by uun » Aug 29th, '06, 02:43

the more unattractive a female/male. the less demanding they are has been my experience
its like the reason nice people are nice, because they want others to be nice

i prefer japanese (native, not american) or european girls now though, because as long as we don't do nothing i never have to pay for anything. movies, resturants, etc
but all the guys assume something going on, no matter how much i deny, so its win win

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Post by GhstDreamer » Aug 29th, '06, 03:12

uun wrote:the more unattractive a female/male. the less demanding they are has been my experience
its like the reason nice people are nice, because they want others to be nice

i prefer japanese (native, not american) or european girls now though, because as long as we don't do nothing i never have to pay for anything. movies, resturants, etc
but all the guys assume something going on, no matter how much i deny, so its win win
Actually there are quite a bit of hideous looking people who are very demanding aka my ex-boss.

Btw, you just made Japanese and European women sound like whores. :glare:
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Post by pwner4once » Aug 29th, '06, 04:07

angeizahoy wrote:hey uh.. pwner4once, was this what you were hoping for when starting this thread? lol. arguments...
lol from last post, i was hoping the argument will cease but apparently it's still going.
So I am asking you guys to stop. And please don't say he first or anything. Please just don't reply with anything related to that argument.

Thanks

anyhow... eer... i am not really sure where to pick up the convo or anything. i originally started this thread to see the "general" view of such issue yet not many is picking up this thread. therefore... failure

hm so yea. i'll wirte back tomorrow if i can. homework and school si da ****

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Post by aNToK » Aug 29th, '06, 08:41

Sorry pwnr, must rebut the nitwit's little novel.

No, kota, I won't be blocking out any time in my day to chat with you on AIM or the like. I don't use them, have my reasons for not using them, and am just fine with putting my words out in public. And don't fill up my PM box again with your repeated requests. If you want some attention or a date or something, look elsewhere.
Side note: As a former computer and network consultant who still assists several dozen individuals and businesses in the East Bay and the Peninsula, I find your insinuation that I'm lacking in the computer and network skills department laughable. Can you discuss the 7 layers of the OSI protocol stack without googling the damn thing? I can. Here's an easy one: If your router is set up with dynamic DHCP, and your TCP stack is configured to use a set IP address, which layer (s) of the stack does address resolution take place? And as a bonus, is it possible to allow wireless access to your network if broadcast SSID is disabled?

For an expert like yourself who thinks avoiding bad links in your IM client is full protection for a business network storing vital customer information, those should be a piece of cake.

hmm, you say I'm wrong, yet you are the one resorting to direct insults.


Umm... You ARE wrong. My insulting you doesn't change that.
What low opinions? If you mean the remark I made about people being spoiled, it was not meant towards women, it was meant towards anyone who thinks money is not important in life (and that love and all that other stuff is more important). It's obvious these people never had money troubles so they don't think much about what life would be like without it, if that is not spoiled I don't know what is.
Hmm...
Yeah, I have ADD as well, it really sucks when the posts are long as hell. but trust me you aren't missing much. It's mostly the same crap "love is more important", "money doesn't matter", "I don't care about money" and the like.

The only people who believe in such stupidity are spoiled people who never truly had to earn it
Lessee, in these, you appear to be saying that love is not, and by extension, never more important than money and that anyone who thinks so must be a spoiled brat who's never had money problems or had to pay their own way, am I wrong there? Doubt it.
If you feel that money is the be-all and end-all most important thing, then realize that that is only YOUR belief, and not necessarily true for others.

Frankly, I feel that people like you who appear to deem money more important are the real losers.

Oh, and if you pull the " I don't think money's more important, they do" card, then by your own admission, you feel that pretty much everyone else is a money-grubbing little hound. Either way you look at it, you're wrong. (and btw, I never use ADD as an excuse for not grasping the concept of a long post. Neither should you.)
Monetary values are learned and formed through social interaction, not genetics? Oh god, you obviously know nothing. Women are unconsciously attracted to power, stature, and emotional loyalty (times are changing but not that fast). Money is both power and stature mixed in one (so is height and personality-you can have a strong/smart personality that demands respect, or you can be weak and shy). You want to know more? Google those three things and see the studies done.
Oh lookie, kota discovered the "green gene", yay!! *ahem..*
The genetic programming you've been so incorrectly misappropriating appear to be the ones dealing with the tendency (note the word tendency, it's important.) for the female of a species to want to mate with the most dominant male she can find for both protection and to continue the propagation of the species. As I said before (look, there's that phrase again!) monetary values are a learned, societal value. Your little X and Y chromosomes don't know a dollar from a dildo.
Quote aNToK

Nadesico gave a reasonable reply on his/her (?) thoughts, and your response is some stupid little assumption that they're inexperienced, sitting on the sidelines, and are just butting in? Still the narrow, assumptive ass you were before, I see.


Your reply:
Still with the insults. Are you really 34? for an old man you seem to have the mentality of a 13 year old. This particular quote I will only explain in real time. If I explain it here, it will be easily misinterpreted. And once again you computer illiterate, you don't get spyware from simply going on AIM.
Insult? With every post you make, you show yourself to be an even more unthinking, assumptive ass than you did before. Of course that's only my opinion. Hate to think you'd misconstrue that I put that out there as a fact. :roll Oh, wait! If I truly feel that you are an assumptive ass, then that thought is a fact for me. If others feel you're the "enlightened one", then in their eyes, that would be a fact as well. Gee, aren't "facts" easy to manipulate?
And yet another inane insult about my computer skills? That's OK. it's about as "factual" as the rest of your post. As far as your being "misinterpreted"? Is that the word you use for people who don't get or agree with your point of view? Real-time or not, that isn't going to change.

Oh, and where did you get the number 34 from? Just curious.
What do you want? A prize? You know all this time you're not really saying anything. Your long drawn out post is nothing more than "I don't agree with you so there".
No, that long, drawn-out post is simply saying that you act like a presumptuous, rude little prick who tends to put down anyone else who posts a thought or opinion on a subject that doesn't agree with yours. Others have valid opinions and experiences. The fact that you regularly put them down and try to belittle them supports that argument.
As for your not agreeing with my viewpoint, weren't you the one who was spouting dumb fairy tales about love, that it was "a great blue sky with unicorns and bunnies hippity hopping up and down the trailway"? And when I said my opinion (the scientific one) was backed up by tons of research, all you said was "nah I don't believe in all that scientific mumbo jumbo, I'm right, you're wrong, they're wrong, end of story
Did you take the red or the blue pill before typing that one?

As far as your "scientific one" being "backed up by tons of research", yada, yada, um... No. Not at all. Your biggest failure in that one is in the fact that you totally misinterpret the results of these studies, have no clue about the context that they were given in, and on top of it, you take your interpretation of these "findings" as absolutes, where even the most brilliant of scientists in the area of genetics will tell you that the best they can do is to predict tendencies of behavior, never absolutes. Add to that, there seem to be nearly as many hot debates about how to interpret the results of said studies and how they deal with practical application in humans as there are people arguing over how to interpret the New Testament.

Rather than your opinion being "backed by tons of research, etc.", I'd say it's more accurate to say that those same scientists would be scratching their heads saying, "where the hell did he get that from?".

Quote:
You appear to have a very low opinion of virtually everyone here but yourself. Let's see, if everyone else is over on one side, and kota's by himself over on that side over there, who exactly is living in a bubble here, moron?

One word, kota, POP!!!!


Your reply:
Now, who's making assumptions? What was it based on? Oh yeah, one post on this thread. So you're doing the exact same thing you just accused me of doing, making assumptions. Yes, I saw a response from someone that seemed like a spoiled person's response, and I called them on it, just you like did to me. You saw a response that seemed condescending and called me on it. And you're still going with the insults.
Actually, it's based on your responses in several (read: nearly all) of your responses to people in the relationships threads. Don't act like this is the first time I've called you out on this.
Nadesico:
t's seems that I am the only one to find the question silly, sorry,I don't want to be offensive pwner4once, but if I believe you, you are 17, am I right? nobody expecting you to provide food, shelter, diamonds or anything else for a girl. If It's money the only reason why you are avoiding having a gf, nothing can be done to help you.
It appears to me a strong prejudice: so women are expensive?!Oh please, someone mentionned here that even women declare that money doesn't matter, it does. That depends on the girl(is she a vain little creature or not), her age(a girl in her 20s and over expects maybe more from a man than a girl in her teens) and other things. Maybe you have encountered in your love life vain and silly girls that would explain your point of view, but bear that in mind:you have to show a gf you CARE for her, and that doesn't necesserely money, and just listen to your heart: if you feel you want to give her something, do it, any girl would be pleased to get something out of the blue.Don't let money blurs your view as concerning your love life!
Now how in the hell do you get that she's a spoiled brat from that post?
Your "people who have no experience really should not butt in, the only thing you're doing is setting others back." response to her was uncalled-for, incorrect, unmitigated bullshit. Period. Can you honestly tell me that you weren't assuming a ton about her in that one? If so, you're delusional.
Actually when I tell this to women in real life, they all agree with me and say it's a point of view they never thought of before, but that it really makes sense. You seem to think that I'm angry at women for some reason, well the reality is, I'm not (I must admit the only people who make me angry are people who condescend those in poverty by saying that money isn't important, but that's something to talk about in real time). I am simply stating that which was stated by scientists. This is how their DNA works, this is what it wants, you can either fight it, or go along with it. It's unconscious, they don't know themselves that it's happening, how can you hate a person for that?

It's not just women, men have unconscious occurences as well. For example, women always ask "why do guys get so jealous so easily? Aren't they secure?" Well the answer is, even if they are consciously secure, their unconscious can easily take over because sexual loyalty is one of the unconscious desires of men (the reasoning is because men can never know if they are the father or not, our DNA doesn't know about DNA testing oddly). There I said something scientific about men, happy? Does that mean I have a low opinion about men too? Because I actually think that we're all human, and not the perfect angels we pretend to be here?
OK, here's something to think about (and I'm not being mean in this part, honest...)

First, look at which women you're putting your ideas out there to. It's bound to be a small group, and by nature, unreliable in a statistical sense. Law of Large Numbers ring a bell? Then add to that that what you're suggesting is 1: Different from what they usually hear, and 2: Given the nature of the girls you usually encounter, offers them some justification for any greedy behavior they may have, so they'll be more inclined to support it.

I do agree that people who are well-off telling poor people that money is unimportant are generally hypocritical snobs, but not always. Frankly, for someone well-off, money may very well be relatively unimportant to them, whereas for someone who's eating out of a dumpster it can be a lifeline. Those are societal though, not genetic. (Survival instinct is for the food and shelter that the money can provide, but not the money directly)

Frankly, my feelings about your assumptive-assedness aside, I truly feel that your biggest misconception is that people's emotions and behavior are ruled by our DNA. You also appear to believe (note the word "appear") that everyone has about the same "emotional DNA makeup", for want of a better phrase. The fact is, everyone has a unique make-up, and you tend to paint a wall of absolutes around it, while even the researchers who's work you're so fond of qouting will tell you that at best, certain traits can be predicted, but that it would be impossible and incorrect to apply it to everyone.

You know, for someone who comes out insisting that others have a lack of experience and don't live in the "real world", you seem to couch your ideas much more in the "test-tube world" than the "real world."
thank you, hope your wife gives you some soon.


My lovely lady and I are doing just fine, thanks. So how's that three-way with your palm and the KY Jelly working out???
Right, too bad these aren't my idiotic ideas, but they come from famous publishings based upon years of scientific research-of course that's not something a third rate counseler who "reads between the lines" and "learns how people feel" and starts cursing over and over would know anything about.
Right. Too bad these ideas are simply your assumptions and interpretations of said studies. Also too bad that you appear to think that people are ruled by their DNA and their hormones, and have little, if any, free will of their own. Gee, wasn't there a study or two somewhere that discussed one of the differences between humans and the majority of animals being man's critical thinking and judgement and ability to go beyond instinct and the like?

Silly boy, love and attraction are about the most unscientific things you can talk about, so no matter how many studies, tests, etc. that you dig around for won't change that anytime soon.

As far as being able to "read between the lines", and "learn how people feel" being important things for someone looking to understand human emotion, let alone counsel anyone else? Oh Lord, who would be silly enough to think that those things matter a bit when dealing with people's feelings and emotions? Gosh, that idea is just insane!!!!!

(hmm... is sarcasm genetic as well?)
I am not obsessed. I am just very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very focussed...

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Post by minikui » Aug 29th, '06, 09:10

from my experience, usually the people who have been spoiled and grew up in a rich family or one without money problems tend to be the ones who care about money much more, because they are so used to luxury and don't want to lose it. While my friends who haven't been spoiled and come from an average or poor family, don't care at all if you buy them presents or if you give them a painting drawn by yourself for their birthday ... just an example.
So, to come back to the real topic of this thread, pwner4once, you shouldn't be worried about getting into a relationship just because you feel that you don't have enough money ... a girl that only considers how many presents you buy her every month or listens to her friends telling her "oh he's so cheap, he doesn't invite you to a restaurant enough" isn't worth it. There are girls like this, but there are others as well.

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Re: Do u feel financially depressed when it comes to the ide

Post by aNToK » Aug 29th, '06, 09:32

pwner4once wrote:just like the subject says, I am wonder who on d-addicts have a problem with having gf because of money. For me, I tend to back away from girls that's really close to me because i will start thinking of all the stuff i need to buy to satisfy one. It's not that i am poor yet maybe i am just cheap.

for the guys, do u think it's necessary to buy them stuff on ocassionals or is it alrite to not buy anything

for the girls, would u guys perfer to get gifts often... like a monthly basis?
After all that, I forgot to reply to pwner4once!

Some thoughts:

Do you mean that you keep your distance from girls you're interested in because you don't want to buy them things, or that you don't feel that you have enough to satisfy them? Maybe you are cheap, or maybe you like to save your money, or maybe you like to spend it on video games or cars or something.

If you like to save it, some girls find that attractive because you're more likely to be financially dependable later.
Then again, some girls like the "bling" factor and love being with and around a guy with flashy clothese, tricked-out ride, all the latest toys.
And of course, some girls find it unattractive to spend money on everything but her.

You're still pretty young, and I assume that the girls you're thinking of are pretty young as well. In your teens and early 20's, most people are still trying to figure out who the hell they are, what they're about, what's important to them, and how to go about getting it.

Just treat any person you're interested in as a unique individual and don't hold yourself to too many assumptions about what's expected of you. Most girls enjoy a surprise gift or something here and there, but aside from holidays, etc. I don't think that most girls expect these things on a regular basis. Giving gifts on a regular (monthly, weekly, whatever) basis to me would be a little... weird. Add to that, if you slow down your gift-giving schedule, she may start to think your interest is waning, etc. Setting the bar too high and all that.

One of my favorite things to do was to every now and then deliver (or have delivered) flowers and a card or something to her in a public place (in class when I was in high school, at work as an adult, things like that). (That was way before I watched My Sassy Girl, but it did bring back a memory or two!) Many women really love things like that, as it kind of puts them on a pedestal in front of their peers and honors them as someone who is loved. Helps build their feeling of confidence and security. Of course, some girls would be totally embarrassed and put off by that sort of thing, so use your judgement and don't be afraid to try something different.

In my experience (note, kota and whomever, I said MY. Not everyone's, and definitely not every girl), it's truly the thought and feeling behind a gift that's appreciated much more than the monetary value of it. Something original that shows her you care, like the flowers, a poem (even the sucky ones will generally bring a smile for the effort), a tennis bracelet or locket with a personal message engraved on it, that kind of thing. Buying her a book by a favorite author or a cd of one of her favorite musicians is good. Making a custom compilation of songs she likes can be even better (shows her you're thinking about her and pay attention to her likes and dislikes) (bonus if you're cheap is that the latter costs you a dime or so in cash, but she'll likely see it as you spending time thinking about what she'd like, and be reminded of you when she hears them. Not a bad deal for just pennies...)

Those kinds of things I would reserve for someone I'm at least somewhat serious about and dating exclusively. Then again, there's no rule saying that you have to give a gift at all. If it were required, it wouldn't be a gift. Paying for movies, dinner, or whatever is a nice touch, but if you're low on funds or whatever, offer to go dutch or do things that don't require money.

Really depends on what values you want in someone you date. Hell, some guys love girls who are perfectly preened and expect to be catered to. Some guys love sweet, shy, unassuming girls who are happy just to see and spend time with you. Some guys love independent woment who take care of themselves. Take your time, date around, and just be yourself.

If the attraction's mutual, then money shouldn't really be much of a factor. From your post, I'm guessing that you're not interested in a "credit card queen" type of girl, so date around and see what you like, and what likes you. Lotta different shapes, sizes, colors, etc. out there, so start putting together your own little tapestry and don't be afraid of dating over the money thing. Trust me, if a girl has certain expectations as far as you buying things for her, she'll usually find a way to make it known, so then it's up to you.

Realize as well that, unlike a certain person or two that thinks they have the only answers, any replies you get from anyone are simply that person's thoughts or opinions on what you've asked, and that it's always up to you what to keep and what to throw away. Make up your own mind and know that MOST of the people who reply believe what they are telling you and are happy to share their experience without telling you what you "need" to do or know. Everyone's different.
I am not obsessed. I am just very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very focussed...

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Post by nikochanr3 » Aug 29th, '06, 13:34

You can't really tell what the girl will need or want prior to the relationship moving along anyway. (Note: if you can tell that she will need A LOT to stay around, she may not be worth it!) They may not want to bankrupt you and want to (gasp) have you not spend so much so you can be together. All women are different. If they were so easy to slot into categories, life would be much simpler.
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Post by angeizahoy » Aug 29th, '06, 14:03

minikui wrote:So, to come back to the real topic of this thread, pwner4once, you shouldn't be worried about getting into a relationship just because you feel that you don't have enough money ... a girl that only considers how many presents you buy her every month or listens to her friends telling her "oh he's so cheap, he doesn't invite you to a restaurant enough" isn't worth it. There are girls like this, but there are others as well.
AGREED. =) just like how girls (most of the time) don't want to have a boyfriend who likes them for their body only and not the mind. there are guys who don't want to be liked simply for their money.

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Re: Do u feel financially depressed when it comes to the ide

Post by mimmi » Aug 29th, '06, 16:00

pwner4once wrote:just like the subject says, I am wonder who on d-addicts have a problem with having gf because of money. For me, I tend to back away from girls that's really close to me because i will start thinking of all the stuff i need to buy to satisfy one. It's not that i am poor yet maybe i am just cheap.

for the guys, do u think it's necessary to buy them stuff on ocassionals or is it alrite to not buy anything

for the girls, would u guys perfer to get gifts often... like a monthly basis?
like others have mentioned....every girls are different....so pick your pick which one you're attracted to....I agreed with groink first post....most girls don't really expect gift all the time, just on the usual occasions like christmas and birthday....arround your age, mostly just the fun time they are spending with you, and there are lots of fun out there that don't have to involve money....the kids here, I'm looking at, they mostly getting together having bonfires (not sure of the spelling), outdoors outing, and ofcourse musics and dancing....shopping, but usually all girls go shopping together, the boys just give the rides, they go out to eat in resturants at times, but they mostly get together cooking out in the parks or outside someones back yard and play outside sports too; using the public parks....so those are just some examples....you can be creative in what activity you want to spend with your GF without spending much money....just my 2 cents to share :-)....

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Post by Littleangel91356 » Aug 29th, '06, 17:34

.......
Last edited by Littleangel91356 on Oct 7th, '13, 09:06, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by yurrie » Aug 29th, '06, 18:21

life's short... before you know it ... you're goin to hell...
so why let yourself thinking bout this .. just go out and get the girl you like...
if she's very demanding on money from you and you dont like her..
dump her .. lol

well im a girl .. i do like bling2... branded things .. money ...
but dont u think its annoying how people mostly forgot .. there's many guys like that too ..
i paid almost for all my boyfriends in the past..
well i kinda bored with that kinda man ..
i want to find a man that will do the same... not that i demand everytime he pays for me .. =) it would make me some kinda whore lol =D
but ...if im married to him ... that's kinda have to .. well at least if im not working and be a good housewife LOL :crazy:

anyway .. i dun really believe there's such a thing as true love =)
but there's always like and simply love..

in my country .. you can buy anything with money ..
you got to jail .. give money to the officers ... and ur out before u know it ..
you got bad marks in school ... money to the teacher... and ur pass ...
well...in that kinda place.. cant blame people to have such a need in money =)

we just have to live with it .. and move forward =P

ooo ... like kim sam soon read in the board ...
let's love like we never been hurt before =P
hahahahha :lol
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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Aug 29th, '06, 18:39

aNToK wrote:
For an expert like yourself who thinks avoiding bad links in your IM client is full protection for a business network storing vital customer information, those should be a piece of cake.
hmm? oh I'm sorry you say something? Even if I answer that dumb question, you'll just say I googled it-and that seems to be wrong with you.
Umm... You ARE wrong. My insulting you doesn't change that.
Oh and I suppose you're right. If you were right you wouldn't be so afraid to talk in real time.

And I'll take care of your pathetic excuses now
Antok wrote: 1) ohh butzors itze givzez me the spyware!!!!!
The only real spyware that aim gives you is a piece called "viewpoint" (not to be confused with viewpoint media player) which can easily be uninstalled. The fact is many companies (larger than yours) use instant messenger for the employees to communicate (like my company, my bosses company-he's a consultant for one of the biggest companies in the world as well, and they use IM regularly).

Antok wrote: 2) I dont have ze timezrez

If you have time to read these long posts and respond to them with your stupidity, do your real job (if you have one), and still be a fansubber, you gave time to talk on IM.
Antok wrote: 3) I do not wantzez to installz nething!!!!
Uhhh, express messenger anyone? A third rate consultant/counseler whatever probably wouldn't know anything about it.
Antok wrote: 4) I wantzez everyonz to seee dissss
That's fine, you can post the entire conversation here and every other message board on the net if you want. There is this little thing called cut-copy-paste.
Antok's real reason wrote: 5) I'm an old man and my brain doesn't work the way it used to so I'll be too slow to keep up and will probably make a fool of myself. I need lots and lots of time to come up with these dumb posts, which are pretty much just insults and differently worded repeats.
ehhh, sorry can't help you there. Eat bananas I heard they make your brain faster.
myself wrote:What low opinions? If you mean the remark I made about people being spoiled, it was not meant towards women, it was meant towards anyone who thinks money is not important in life (and that love and all that other stuff is more important). It's obvious these people never had money troubles so they don't think much about what life would be like without it, if that is not spoiled I don't know what is.
Antok wrote: Hmm...
ummm ... yeah. Read my first post and ignore my second. That one I talked about the unconscious and the studies done, the one directed at nadesico and the one following that was directed at spoiled people, which could be why they seemed more vindictive than the first.

As I said I don't like people condescending those that are poor by saying money is not important, or it means nothing. This is my opinion.

but wait, this reminds me of a similar situation. Someone here made a joke about the fansubbers and you being the vindictive ass your are... well acted like a vindictive ass and started BSing about no tolerance or some garbage.

And don't start saying **** about how its not the same, it is. You're more sensative to people criticizing the fansubbers, so even if to others it seems as nothing more than a joke, to you it seemed like an insult. The same with me with people saying money means nothing. To me it's condescending those that don't have it.

Tell you what, to show I'm fair and compromising, from now on, you stay away from topics where people say something about the fansubbers, I'll stay away from topics where people talk about money. But considering you're nothing more than an ass who can do nothing but curse and paraphrase, I'm guessing you'll say no.
Antok wrote: Lessee, in these, you appear to be saying that love is not, and by extension, never more important than money and that anyone who thinks so must be a spoiled brat who's never had money problems or had to pay their own way, am I wrong there? Doubt it.
If you feel that money is the be-all and end-all most important thing, then realize that that is only YOUR belief, and not necessarily true for others.

Frankly, I feel that people like you who appear to deem money more important are the real losers.
Funny, didn't you come and start pushing YOUR beliefs about love in the first topic I saw you? Saying that scientists are wrong and that love is a field of bunnies etc. Guess what, that's YOUR belief, but that didn't stop you from being an ass and say that all those studies were nothing more than crap did it?

And you're wrong about what I said. I say that people who say money isn't important are spoiled brats who never had to worry about it. I never said it's the most important thing in the world (but it's definitely in the top 5 IMHO).

I never said anything about Morgaine's post, nor anything about angeizahoy's post-and both of their's was before nadesico's.

To me nadesico's post was condescending and spoiled (just like that others person's joke post about the fansubbers was offensive to you), deal with it.
ANtok wrote: Oh, and if you pull the " I don't think money's more important, they do" card, then by your own admission, you feel that pretty much everyone else is a money-grubbing little hound. Either way you look at it, you're wrong. (and btw, I never use ADD as an excuse for not grasping the concept of a long post. Neither should you.)
so you mean hospital's, grocery stores, fast food places, clothing stores, books stores, restaurants, movie theatres, buses, cabs, subways, universities, landlords all don't think money is important? Or are you saying it's just possible to live without all that? Sounds to me like you're just rambling-old me do that.
Antok wrote: Oh lookie, kota discovered the "green gene", yay!! *ahem..*
The genetic programming you've been so incorrectly misappropriating appear to be the ones dealing with the tendency (note the word tendency, it's important.) for the female of a species to want to mate with the most dominant male she can find for both protection and to continue the propagation of the species. As I said before (look, there's that phrase again!) monetary values are a learned, societal value. Your little X and Y chromosomes don't know a dollar from a dildo.
Great, you learned evolution 101, want a candy or something?

Yes, genetics can be modified by environment, but according to studies, men and women truly are different even from birth. They looked at many families where boys and girls were raised completely equally and saw that their personalities were what they expected of boys and girls.

Yes, monetary values are learned from society, but knowing that you need resources to survive is more innate.

Oh, and please forgive me for not phrasing that correctly. From now on I'll use the words "innate survival instincts". Is that better for you, you grammar whore.
Antok wrote: Insult? With every post you make, you show yourself to be an even more unthinking, assumptive ass than you did before. Of course that's only my opinion. Hate to think you'd misconstrue that I put that out there as a fact. :roll Oh, wait! If I truly feel that you are an assumptive ass, then that thought is a fact for me. If others feel you're the "enlightened one", then in their eyes, that would be a fact as well. Gee, aren't "facts" easy to manipulate?
Is your brain fried old man? That was the dumbest thing you ever wrote. Yes, it is your opinion. But if you can scientifically back up your opinion and get it accepted as general scientific fact, I'll believe you and tell everyone I'm an unthinking assumptive ass, deal?
Antok wrote: And yet another inane insult about my computer skills? That's OK. it's about as "factual" as the rest of your post. As far as your being "misinterpreted"? Is that the word you use for people who don't get or agree with your point of view? Real-time or not, that isn't going to change.
Actually it is very easy to misinterpret things with simple text (remember that more than 80% of communication is non verbal, so simple words can be interpreted many ways if there is no facial expression, sound epression etc).
Antok wrote: Oh, and where did you get the number 34 from? Just curious.
I thought you said you were 34, once. My mistake. guess you're even older then.
Antok wrote: No, that long, drawn-out post is simply saying that you act like a presumptuous, rude little prick who tends to put down anyone else who posts a thought or opinion on a subject that doesn't agree with yours. Others have valid opinions and experiences. The fact that you regularly put them down and try to belittle them supports that argument.
That's your opinion.

But this brings back a memory, weren't you the one who said you should humiliate people on the internet to get them thinking correctly? Did you mean thinking like you? Hmmm, so much for the whole "everyone has their own opinions crap huh old man". I guess the real definition of that is "everyone who antok thinks is correct is allowed to have their own thoughs and opinions". Well, which is it?
Antok wrote: Did you take the red or the blue pill before typing that one?
The red one. An old man would make an old joke like that.
Antok wrote: As far as your "scientific one" being "backed up by tons of research", yada, yada, um... No. Not at all. Your biggest failure in that one is in the fact that you totally misinterpret the results of these studies,and the rest of your crap.
Hmmm you know for someone who keeps claiming that other people make too many assumptions, you make just as many. How do you know I misinterpreted it? How do you know what I even read? Oh yes, that's right you assumed it. My guess is you have no idea. I would talk about it with you in real time-because that is waaaaay easier, but alas your old man brain wouldn't be able to keep up in real time so you keep refusing.

It's ok, just say, "I'm old, I'm scared, and need a lot of time to come up with my crap" and I'll never ask you again.

Anyway, do some research and see how much they actually discovered and how much real world testing they actually did. Is this 100% fact? Of course not. nothing is ever 100%. Is it pretty damn close? maybe... but I can promise you one thing, they're a lot closer to the truth than you'll ever be. Before retorting with you "I don't believe it" crap, do some research and learn a little about the thing you're dismissing-wait I guess you can't because you're so busy, I mean you're too busy to even talk in real time right? you only have time to come here read and write long drawn out boring posts from what I see.

Antok wrote: Actually, it's based on your responses in several (read: nearly all) of your responses to people in the relationships threads. Don't act like this is the first time I've called you out on this.
Well aren't I the popular one. what you're in love with me or something?

Fine I won't act that way, if you don't act like you weren't a vindictive ass the very first time you talked to me (before I made all those posts that you like to read so much). Oh yes, that's right, your theory of "having to humiliate people in order to get them to think correctly (the way you want them)", how could I have forgotten.

Antok wrote: Now how in the hell do you get that she's a spoiled brat from that post?
Your "people who have no experience really should not butt in, the only thing you're doing is setting others back." response to her was uncalled-for, incorrect, unmitigated bullshit. Period. Can you honestly tell me that you weren't assuming a ton about her in that one? If so, you're delusional.
What's your point? I saw it as condescending to poor people, just like you saw that other post condescending to fansubbers-even though others might have seen it as nothing more than a joke. And yes, it is equivalent, don't say it's not.

Antok wrote: OK, here's something to think about (and I'm not being mean in this part, honest...)

First, look at which women you're putting your ideas out there to. It's bound to be a small group, and by nature, unreliable in a statistical sense. Law of Large Numbers ring a bell? Then add to that that what you're suggesting is 1: Different from what they usually hear, and 2: Given the nature of the girls you usually encounter, offers them some justification for any greedy behavior they may have, so they'll be more inclined to support it.
Ok, this is why I want to talk in real time. You assume, that I think all women are gold diggers, am I correct? and then you assume all the women I encountered are gold diggers (look who's assuming now).

Once again, read my first post. I wrote, you need to have it to appeal to their "innate survival instinct" (better?) but you don't necessarily have to spend it on them. And that surprise gifts were ok. god, do you only read what you want to?

You seem to have started taking all my posts and mixing and matching them, only commenting on things you want.

Those are the action of a vindictive ass (you).

Once again, the first post was scientific (and yes I tried it in reality myself, it's true) and had nothing to do with my response to nadesico. If you think it does, well you're the one who's assuming now aren't you (and if you give me that whole "this is the internet, you weren't clear excuse. well, like I said there's always real time).
Antok wrote: I do agree that people who are well-off telling poor people that money is unimportant are generally hypocritical snobs, but not always. Frankly, for someone well-off, money may very well be relatively unimportant to them, whereas for someone who's eating out of a dumpster it can be a lifeline. Those are societal though, not genetic. (Survival instinct is for the food and shelter that the money can provide, but not the money directly)
ok then.
Antok wrote: Frankly, my feelings about your assumptive-assedness aside, I truly feel that your biggest misconception is that people's emotions and behavior are ruled by our DNA. You also appear to believe (note the word "appear") that everyone has about the same "emotional DNA makeup", for want of a better phrase. The fact is, everyone has a unique make-up, and you tend to paint a wall of absolutes around it, while even the researchers who's work you're so fond of qouting will tell you that at best, certain traits can be predicted, but that it would be impossible and incorrect to apply it to everyone.
I am sorry for my wrong use of the word. from now on, I'll use "innate survival instinct", good?
Antok wrote: You know, for someone who comes out insisting that others have a lack of experience and don't live in the "real world", you seem to couch your ideas much more in the "test-tube world" than the "real world."
Used it myself in the real world, worked every time.
Antok wrote: My lovely lady and I are doing just fine, thanks. So how's that three-way with your palm and the KY Jelly working out???
I don't even know what that is, but if things are working out so fine, why do you?
Antok wrote: Right. Too bad these ideas are simply your assumptions and interpretations of said studies. Also too bad that you appear to think that people are ruled by their DNA and their hormones, and have little, if any, free will of their own. Gee, wasn't there a study or two somewhere that discussed one of the differences between humans and the majority of animals being man's critical thinking and judgement and ability to go beyond instinct and the like?
Yes, our curiosity is definitely one of the major things that separates us from the animals (although some believe it's only our opposable thumbs, not gonna get into that though).

In some cases yes you do go above and beyond your instincts, but it's not the norm when it comes to attraction (except for the extremes or anomalies of course). According to study, and my own real life perspective.
Antok wrote: Silly boy, love and attraction are about the most unscientific things you can talk about, so no matter how many studies, tests, etc. that you dig around for won't change that anytime soon.
Silly old man, the studies were based on hundreds of thousands of real life human experiments. No one said they were 100% accurate, but they're much closer than anything you know.
Antok wrote: As far as being able to "read between the lines", and "learn how people feel" being important things for someone looking to understand human emotion, let alone counsel anyone else? Oh Lord, who would be silly enough to think that those things matter a bit when dealing with people's feelings and emotions? Gosh, that idea is just insane!!!!!
(hmm... is sarcasm genetic as well?)


silly old men must have problem with their eyes, so he can't read very well.

Okay let me explain and I will use big words to explain this so your old man brain can pick up on them ok?


I was saying that you are very bad at reading between the lines. You only "read between the lines" when it's convenient for you to make yourself seem right. You obviously couldn't read between the lines in my post to nadesico could you, but then again you weren't able to read the plain text I wrote either, oh well...

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Post by SSJSubgeta » Aug 29th, '06, 18:53

i think this is based on the maturity of the person and their financial status. I you have the money and time to do it go for it. But if you seem to be stuck with this question it will be trouble some later down the road with your g/f. Its based on your decision if you have the money to do it, but dont forget your priorities either. gambare!!

girls=mendokuseeeee! j/k

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Post by aNToK » Aug 29th, '06, 20:25

Ah, more light reading....

No excessive quotes this time. You can't seem to keep up with them anyway.

Here's the short list idiot:

I couldn't give a rat's ass what you believe or don't believe. I also couldn't care less if you choose to post them up wherever you choose to. Believe whatever you like.

What I do give a **** about and will respond to is the fact that you act like a rude, belittling ass to nearly everyone who posts an opinion different than yours (which is the vast majority of folks, if you haven't noticed) wnenever they add their thoughts and feelings about a subject.

You try to set yourself up as some kind of expert and the only one with any legitimate answers to whatever the subject happens to be. You also try to freeze out as many people as possible.

Frankly, if you'd simply trot out your thoughts, opinions, interpretations, etc. and post them as the opinions that they are, instead of telling everyone else that they're wrong, I wouldn't have replied to your posts at all.

As far as IM stuff, I have no fear of talking to you in "real time". I simply have no desire to do so, so all your "you must be afraid" comments are simply useless prattle. It's like someone with bad breath and body odor daring you to stand next to them or something. "What are you afraid or something?" Makes no sense. I don't make excuses for anything, idiot. And you are far from a reliable source for internet security. It would be a total waste of time talking to you there anyway. If you're so concerned about things being misinterpreted in your posts, then explain them in a way that they won't be misinterpreted, dumbass. For someone who claims to be so smart, you have a lousy way with words.

As far as me being old and slow? Let's just say that I find if freaking hilarious that you trot out your measly, limited little "experience" on the one hand, and then try to rag on me for actually having some? Your egotistical prattle knows no bounds, does it?

As far as my posts in other topics, especially the ones related to fansubbing?

HELL YES, I'm "more sensitive" than others about comments toward fansubbers, jackass! And I will continue to rip a new **** for people being demanding, critical, etc. with regard to their posts regarding them.

Let's see, I get on people who break the site rules with regard to sub requests, demands, etc. Also on people who repeatedly rag on others for no good reason.

You rag on people in the relationship threads who give their opinions on this or that for no reason other than your own warped sense of self-importance and are totally intolerant of anyone who doesn't get on their knees and kiss your feet in gratitude for your strange little scientific interpretations.

See a difference? Of course you don't. You'd actually need to have a clue to do that.


Me stay out of the fansub threads? What a **** laugh. Why not tell Tiger Woods to avoid talking about golf in his interviews? Makes about as much sense, ****-for-brains.


Oh, and as far as you saying that I'm "pushing my own beliefs", etc? Well of course I am, doof! Actually, pushing them is not quite correct. I'm STATING my own beliefs, and saying that that is what THINK or FEEL about a particular subject. Almost nowhere in any of my posts will you see me refer to such things as FACTS, ABSOLUTES, or anything of that nature.

The "money isn't important" comment you drug out? Are you so blind that you can't stay on task?
Here's a little simplification for you: drug stores, fast food places, and all the other "examples" you give are places of business. They don't have jack **** to do with the importance of money with relation to a male-female relationship (which, btw, is mostly what this topic is about, remember?)

Talk about your totally irrelevant "examples". Though it does go to show that you're having to run farther and farther off-track to find things to fill up these long, lame-ass responses.

Again, you make wild-ass assumptions that have nothing to do with the topic at hand.

And "innate survival instincts" doesn't bring your point any closer to the topics. It's not simply your grammar at fault, it's your reasoning.

And no, you're not the "popular one". And posting your weird little diatribes makes you even less so.

I do, however, find it humorous that you try to throw a "you want a date" barb in there, when it was you filling up my PM box and replies with desires to talk to me in real-time. Ironic, no?
people who have no experience really should not butt in, the only thing you're doing is setting others back.
Let's see, according to your last response, you feel that that her earlier comment was offensive, though it was her own opinion, wouldn't seem offensive to any normal person that I know of, and on top of it, wasn't directed at you in the first place, yet you choose to reply with that horseshit? Get over yourself.

You've gotten so long-winded and repetitive in your crap that frankly, going point-by-point on them would just be a big ugly circle of me making you look stupid.

Newsflash, nitwit: I didn't start off busting your ass for views you hold (however weird I may find them personally) at all. I get on you for your continual shitty treatment of others who offer their opinions on relationships, etc.

I gave you **** in my very first response to you because you were acting like a know-it-all **** on a subject that you're hardly an authority in. Same holds true today.

As far as the continuous silly little digs at my age, etc. I'll say something that even you should have a hard time misinterpreting:

Yes, kota, I'm older, smarter, more experienced, more knowledgeable, more intuitive, more open-minded, more accepting of differing opinions, and quicker-thinking than you could ever hope to be at this point in your life. And the vast majority of people whose topics and posts you respond to see you as an ignorant, rude, intolerant, pushy little shithead whose very few decent observations regarding relationships are totally buried amidst your weird-ass, incorrect, and often irrelevant interpretations of your "facts", let alone how they relate to the question at hand.

Is that clear enough for you?
I am not obsessed. I am just very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very focussed...

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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Aug 29th, '06, 20:27

alright enough, I already called a truce in that other thread.

we both had some fun, lets end it there.

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Post by aNToK » Aug 29th, '06, 20:33

I'm happy to end it if you quit ragging other people's opinions. That was my point anyway.
I am not obsessed. I am just very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very focussed...

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Post by crazylife123 » Aug 29th, '06, 20:49

aNToK wrote:I'm happy to end it if you quit ragging other people's opinions. That was my point anyway.
ANToK, gotta love opinions. always interesting to read. :salut:

for my opinion, it's not hard to be financially stable. all you have to do is get a JOB! :mrgreen:

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Post by scott12199 » Aug 29th, '06, 20:58

groink wrote:
scott12199 wrote:goddess... you will need alot of money
cute... some money
average... barely enough
below average... money is not required
These are quite true... The problem with them though is that, in all four situations, the woman is in command. Like my earlier post indicated, men must take control and HAVE control of himself.

--- groink
only until men can control their sex drive will they be able to take control. just the utter of no sex will cause most guys to go on their knees and beg for a command. lolzzz

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Post by pwner4once » Aug 30th, '06, 22:43

crazylife123 wrote:
aNToK wrote:I'm happy to end it if you quit ragging other people's opinions. That was my point anyway.
ANToK, gotta love opinions. always interesting to read. :salut:

for my opinion, it's not hard to be financially stable. all you have to do is get a JOB! :mrgreen:
haha when i said financially challenged, i meant by money going out of my packet. yes i do have a job but don't that idea of hard cash flowing out seems like a problem to some ppl>

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Post by angeizahoy » Aug 30th, '06, 22:48

if a girl needs constant gifts to keep her happy, is that really a girl worth keeping...? when you go to college (and for a couple years after), you'll be in enough debt...

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Post by Ruroshin » Aug 30th, '06, 22:57

The money thing is only a problem at the beginning of the dating period. With my current gf, we've been going out for almost a year now and instead of going out to expensive restaurants we eat at her house, instead of going to the movies we just lie in bed and watch dramas. Just being in each other's company makes us happy so we don't feel the need to spend money to do that.

Even on special occasion we didn't spend that much on presents. She made me a memory book with photos and poems of our happy times together and I made a folder with a 180 cards in it, each one saying why I loved her for the 180 days we were together at that time. So my advice is don't actively avoid getting a gf because you're worried about spending money, find the right girl that understands you and you'll be happier and still have your wallet thats not empty.

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Post by pwner4once » Aug 31st, '06, 00:53

Ruroshin wrote:The money thing is only a problem at the beginning of the dating period. With my current gf, we've been going out for almost a year now and instead of going out to expensive restaurants we eat at her house, instead of going to the movies we just lie in bed and watch dramas. Just being in each other's company makes us happy so we don't feel the need to spend money to do that.

Even on special occasion we didn't spend that much on presents. She made me a memory book with photos and poems of our happy times together and I made a folder with a 180 cards in it, each one saying why I loved her for the 180 days we were together at that time. So my advice is don't actively avoid getting a gf because you're worried about spending money, find the right girl that understands you and you'll be happier and still have your wallet thats not empty.
haha that's awesome. man.... im looking for a gf now. hope things will go well lol. if i get a money drain, then it'll suck lol

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Post by angeizahoy » Aug 31st, '06, 01:15

Ruroshin wrote:The money thing is only a problem at the beginning of the dating period. With my current gf, we've been going out for almost a year now and instead of going out to expensive restaurants we eat at her house, instead of going to the movies we just lie in bed and watch dramas. Just being in each other's company makes us happy so we don't feel the need to spend money to do that.

Even on special occasion we didn't spend that much on presents. She made me a memory book with photos and poems of our happy times together and I made a folder with a 180 cards in it, each one saying why I loved her for the 180 days we were together at that time. So my advice is don't actively avoid getting a gf because you're worried about spending money, find the right girl that understands you and you'll be happier and still have your wallet thats not empty.
that is so cute. i do the same thing too, i had made something similar to the memory book. its presents like that which shows more thought and feeling. sure, it may not look like the prettiest thing in the world, but the thought of the work that went into it is what touches the other person =)

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ZGMF-X20A
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Post by ZGMF-X20A » Aug 31st, '06, 22:22

scott12199 wrote:
only until men can control their sex drive will they be able to take control. just the utter of no sex will cause most guys to go on their knees and beg for a command. lolzzz
hmm what you say is true that's a sad reality but it shows that we are still "animals" with primary needs but still if you have control over your sex drive that would be nice but even if you have control over it it can raise some questions about you I have a friend of mine who is so serious all the time and always seems to be in control we haven't seen him with any girls and he always goes out with his male friends and well some of my friends thought he was gay and it turned out they were wrong he just got married a few months ago to a very nice girl lol

Another solution that might help them control their sex drive it might not be as efficient as the act itself onanism

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Post by scott12199 » Aug 31st, '06, 22:41

find youself a sugarmama... plenty of 30+ ladies looking for some young buck

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Post by mimmi » Sep 1st, '06, 06:28

Ruroshin wrote:The money thing is only a problem at the beginning of the dating period. With my current gf, we've been going out for almost a year now and instead of going out to expensive restaurants we eat at her house, instead of going to the movies we just lie in bed and watch dramas. Just being in each other's company makes us happy so we don't feel the need to spend money to do that.

Even on special occasion we didn't spend that much on presents. She made me a memory book with photos and poems of our happy times together and I made a folder with a 180 cards in it, each one saying why I loved her for the 180 days we were together at that time. So my advice is don't actively avoid getting a gf because you're worried about spending money, find the right girl that understands you and you'll be happier and still have your wallet thats not empty.
that's so sweet :-)....

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Post by mimmi » Sep 1st, '06, 06:37

scott12199 wrote:find youself a sugarmama... plenty of 30+ ladies looking for some young buck
that's funny :lol....now don't put that kind of idea into the boy's head anymore....I think he's looking for a more meaningful relationship, not just a boy toy to any older, desperate ladies :lol....sorry for laughing

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Post by uun » Sep 3rd, '06, 22:07

"Btw, you just made Japanese and European women sound like"

wahahahahahaha! i thought i was saying the exact opposite!
oh well some say i thought poe tey toe i thought i said poe tah toh

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Post by wingsky » Sep 4th, '06, 18:47

I voted yes, but who cares, it feels good XD
Image

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eturny
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Post by eturny » Sep 5th, '06, 06:44

I support myself.

I don't accept gifts unless my birthday, anniversary, and Xmas time; which always have returns.

I hate taking things from boyfriend simply because I do not like to be degraded or looked down on, as if I need a guy to support my basic and essentials everyday's life requirements. Better yet, I like to BE BETTER than the boyfriend in a relationship, so don't use all these "I bought you this and that on" BS out and make it as if I'm indebted to you. Going out, paying meals, that's your responsiblitiy. And hell, I never asked to go eat those fine-dining; Taco Bell would do for me.

Probably guys who feel as if they are finacially troubled in a relationship is because you somehow picked up gold-digging bitches. Try to be careful on your next pick then. Pick right, you can be a male-whore, whereas you eat off from your baby's hands.

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Post by Zulfi » Sep 7th, '06, 11:15

will you marry me Ms Eturny! haha
small print: prenup is a prerequisite. ;)

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Post by nedayaj » Sep 20th, '06, 23:18

Well it depends which girl you guys are dating...

Guys if you date someone who expects you to spend, gosh all i can say is, better start making the big bucks.. I totally agree with eturny... you did pick some gold digging beep...

But from what i know for most girls, they preferr things that come the heart. Little things, like WORDS... poem, letters, something surprising... Its not all about gifts. I seriously sometimes get tired of GIFTS... Its like shoo are you trying to BUY me... and plus I've got my own money to buy my own things!

Oh yea for guys out there, girls love it when you write them LOVE LETTERS that comes in the MAIL, not email... Why? because lets say the girl may be having a bad day, and suddenly she recieves in the mail a letter from you. It will totally brighten up her day!!

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Post by zippyflu » Sep 20th, '06, 23:23

money is important.. i use to feel like you need money to court.. so now i work my ass off and still dont have a girl.. lol.. not its because i dont have time and girls dont like that...its a vicious cycle for us men.. girls have it easy.. they pick and choose and break our hearts... :alcoholic:

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Post by nedayaj » Sep 20th, '06, 23:32

hey zippyflu....

I think you been looking for girls at the wrong corner. You're probably at the corner of girls where they just want to play around and jumped to one and another. I know someone who is exactly like that right now. Plus, you could be shy just to go up to girls. But seeing ur profile all layed out, hmm... Are you really that shy?

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Post by DrThunderMeetsCaptainPlan » Sep 26th, '06, 21:45

I'd say that having a girlfriend or boyfriend is most expensive where it deals with the amount of time you spend on them, and not on the money spent. You must not realize that by going out with you a woman is spending equal amounts of her time, and these days often money, on you as you are spending on her. What is she giving up in order to be with you? If she's dating you then she's giving up all other possibilities for a partner, just as you should be doing as well. Ultimately that's going to be the greater expense when compared to money. You could have both found someone better suited to being in a relationship with you during the time in which you were dating. It's called opportunity cost and it's sheer existence should shut anyone up who actually believes that women only want money from their date. Anyone could buy her a steak (she could get/have a job and buy it for herself even) but not just anyone is going to be worth the spent time that she will give up in going to eat the steak. During that time she could have made her own money, met someone else, gone to a movie with friends, or any number of other activities that she decided were not as valuable as spending her time with you.
Anyway, the tradition of men paying for dates has nothing to do with real relationships and is just a throwback to a time when women were not ALLOWED to work and therefore could not have afforded to pay for a date. These days I've found that usually what determines who pays for a date is who asks who out unless the datees are traditionalists. Also, there is evidence to support the existence of human civilizations wherein decent was determined by the female and not the male line, and therefore property was owned by women (and passed to other women) and men were not valued based on material wealth but on social chemistry and relationship strength. Men didn't own anything but still had a place in society because the two sexes fundamentally need each other for any society to function and grow (sex = babies = the future). I think you'll find that even now it is the positivity of the relationship and the endurance of it to stress which are factors more important in determining love than how much money you're willing to throw at a woman.

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Post by hmm_yeh » Sep 26th, '06, 21:58

Money shouldn't mean much in a relationship, unless it's based on something other love. But I do admit, I get depressed, financially when anniversaries and other special occasions are here. I try to get my boyfriend something he'd like but that normally turns out to be in the low to mid hundreds. I'm not saying my relationship with my boyfriend is materialistic, but it feels nice to get him something he really wanted. And ultimately, that is my main goal.

As for girlfriends being costly.. Sometimes they can be and other times they're not. If you find a down to earth kind of girl, they wouldn't need all these luxuries. A light dinner and a movie is enough, at least that's how I feel. Oh and btw, some girls find it ridiculous when guys take them to fancy restaurants and end up paying $200 for two steak entrees. That's a bit much. Yeh.. I'm yakking. Sorry!
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Post by zippyflu » Sep 28th, '06, 05:03

girls are expensive.. cuz i have to allocate some of the money i dont have to buy something for her. btw i hate malls.. i get all lightheaded when i walk in.. i just wanna get outta there..

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Re: Do u feel financially depressed when it comes to the ide

Post by Valen » Sep 28th, '06, 17:09

pwner4once wrote:for the guys, do u think it's necessary to buy them stuff on ocassionals or is it alrite to not buy anything
Well... gifts should be spontanous, not on some monthly basis. If you start with the "ok, today's the 16th day of the month, I have to buy a gift because it is the 16th day of the month", then the gift loses it's value. It's alright not to buy something. It's not really what you buy anyway, but the thought that counts. I think a gift should be a surprise, something unexpected and not something that is dealt with like the rent you pay monthly.

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Post by atxtomtom » Sep 29th, '06, 23:16

no, expensive gifts are not needed.. and they don't do you any good either.. showering your girlfriend in diamonds isn't going to do anything for you.. well, except maybe have her marry and divorce you..

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Post by atxtomtom » Sep 29th, '06, 23:20

zippyflu wrote:money is important.. i use to feel like you need money to court.. so now i work my ass off and still dont have a girl.. lol.. not its because i dont have time and girls dont like that...its a vicious cycle for us men.. girls have it easy.. they pick and choose and break our hearts... :alcoholic:
using money to "court" is pretty much sending the message "i'm not good enough for you, so i'm trying to buy you".. i'm not saying don't buy any gifts at all, but just make it every now and then and spontaneous.. don't shower her in stuff and try to buy her love..

be different from other guys.. put yourself in a hot chick's shoes.. guys hit on her and buy her stuff all the time.. i'm sure she'd be tired of all these regular dudes..

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