Most Important Quality in a Lover

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Which do you think is the most important quality in a lover?

Financial Security
6
7%
Personality
67
79%
Physical Appearance
12
14%
 
Total votes: 85

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cgozun
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Most Important Quality in a Lover

Post by cgozun » Jun 22nd, '06, 11:24

Which do you think is the most important quality in a lover?
+Financial Security
+Personality
+Physical Appearance



Edit:

All of these are important that's why I think they are good poll options. The number one reason for divorce in America is due to financial reasons so you can't say money is not important. We all know personality is important. It's the most popular driving force in attraction. Appearance is kind of like a wild card. Everybody has a minimum standard in terms of attractiveness. Even though you may like the personality but if he/she is not attractive enough, it might be too difficult. Some people are actually ashamed to introduce their ugly partner to families and friends and that's not good either.
Last edited by cgozun on Jun 22nd, '06, 19:53, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by Cub » Jun 22nd, '06, 11:37

Personality of course.

What's the point of dating someone who is filthy rich but has a personality of a dead fish? Hahahaha ;p

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Post by albertoavena » Jun 22nd, '06, 11:40

Lover? As in boyfriend/girlfriend? Sorry, lover to me just sounds weird.. :P I voted personality but I think having the others are kind of important too. I mean, for +Financial Security, I not obsessed with money, but would you date/marry someone who hates working and doens't care about that but has a good personality? Or for +Physical Appearance, not to be shallow, but even you have to look for someone you will like to look at in the morning and with a good personality, that'd be perfect.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, they all kind of go hand-in-hand.

[Edit] Good point cub :-) , but that could also work backwards... good personality but hates working. As I mentioned in my paragraph..
Last edited by albertoavena on Jun 22nd, '06, 11:41, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Cub » Jun 22nd, '06, 11:41

Of course, having all 3 of them will be perfecto!

But... is that possible? Hmm...

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Post by albertoavena » Jun 22nd, '06, 11:43

Yep, that will be absulutely pefect but...hmmm I wonder too. I think maybe it is possible. I guess some might be weaker that other. They can try to work to get all 3 of them..

Like, if they have a good job, but no personality, someone can help them with that.. Or something like that..
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Post by bugsie » Jun 22nd, '06, 11:54

i'd say physical appearance, i don't want my children to be ugly. :lol

but seriously, i would opt for personality.
Confused? Go FAQ yourself!








Last edited by bugsie on Thu Jun 18, 2006 12:00 am; edited 998 times in total

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Post by jellybean » Jun 22nd, '06, 13:32

albertoavena wrote: I guess what I'm trying to say is, they all kind of go hand-in-hand.

[Edit] Good point cub :-) , but that could also work backwards... good personality but hates working. As I mentioned in my paragraph..
- but if they had your opinion of a good personality - surely being a hardworker would be attached to that. Understanding the importance of supporting a loved one is all part of the 'good personality'.

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Post by cgozun » Jun 22nd, '06, 19:51

All of these are important that's why I think they are good poll options. The number one reason for divorce in America is due to financial reasons so you can't say money is not important. We all know personality is important. It's the most popular driving force in attraction. Appearance is kind of like a wild card. Everybody has a minimum standard in terms of attractiveness. Even though you may like the personality but if he/she is not attractive enough, it might be too difficult. Some people are actually ashamed to introduce their ugly partner to families and friends and that's not good either.

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Post by Mythrel » Jun 22nd, '06, 20:02

I agree everyone does have a minimum attractiveness they look for in someone. I am pretty picky when it comes to women, but I have fell inlove with a girl with a great personality but not so good on the attractive department. She rejected me and I got over that pretty quick I must say LOL. I still think personality outranks the other in my opinion. You can over look the other ones if you try.
Im making you aware. That if you dont like me well I dont care. Ill be exactly who I am and if you got a problem with it. Well thats your problem, man.

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Post by cgozun » Jun 22nd, '06, 20:17

I do believe reality favors personality, but in our case, why do you think dramas rank personality last? It seems counter intuitive and quite mind boggling to think someone would fall for a jerk who just so happens to be rich and attractive. Yet, we continue to relate to these dramas that otherwise wouldn't be so popular.

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Post by Kamui6 » Jun 22nd, '06, 20:57

Did anyone mention, trust. Aren't the poll options kind way too limited.
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Post by Mythrel » Jun 22nd, '06, 21:01

I agree Kamui6, but oh well lol.

cgozun, I think because they make good dramas. In the start of Full house Bi was a jerk to her and she probably wouldn't have stuck around if it wasn't for the house and it turns out he did have a good personality. I don't know how much dramas really relate to reality they just make good tv. Personally you couldn't keep me with a women no matter how hot she is if she had a horrible personality. I'd be out that door so quick. I do have a friend that would stay with someone who is hot but has a crappy personality but you can probably guess what his goal is....
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Post by scott12199 » Jun 22nd, '06, 21:06

i would have to say sex. Bad sex is like no sex at all... =)

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Post by Kamui6 » Jun 22nd, '06, 21:21

scott12199 wrote:i would have to say sex. Bad sex is like no sex at all... =)
Teaching can be fun... :whistling: [Trust me]
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Post by cgozun » Jun 22nd, '06, 22:10

Trust and Sex can be categorized under personality as Trustworthy and Good in Bed.

The fact that it's good leads you to wonder where all the facination about jerks and somehow transforming them is coming from. Of course they all turn out nice in the end but the falling in love always occurs during the jerk stage.

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Post by murid » Jun 22nd, '06, 23:31

those items...really its matter. we have our own criteria, right? but personality... come in package. when u have good personality, u will make people love to sit next to you...nice to talk to...everybody need a shoulder to cry on. living in luxury...financial come the prior, rite? somebody to show off...then physical appearence has to count. \ (^o^) /

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Post by scott12199 » Jun 22nd, '06, 23:45

cgozun wrote:Trust and Sex can be categorized under personality as Trustworthy and Good in Bed.

The fact that it's good leads you to wonder where all the facination about jerks and somehow transforming them is coming from. Of course they all turn out nice in the end but the falling in love always occurs during the jerk stage.
Last edited by scott12199 on Jun 23rd, '06, 00:39, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by scott12199 » Jun 22nd, '06, 23:47

cgozun wrote:Trust and Sex can be categorized under personality as Trustworthy and Good in Bed.

The fact that it's good leads you to wonder where all the facination about jerks and somehow transforming them is coming from. Of course they all turn out nice in the end but the falling in love always occurs during the jerk stage.
what does being good in bed have to do with personality?

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Post by cgozun » Jun 23rd, '06, 00:50

Sex by itself is not a criteria. It has to reflect your partner. "Which do you think is the most important quality in a lover?" So you have to ask yourself, sex with so and so is good because...he/she's passionate kisser, gentle, considerate and giving, etc. All these depend on the person's inner being. If you want well equipped then vote for physical appearance. Besides, it's not like I can edit it. Just vote on what's there. Use your imagination.

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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Jun 23rd, '06, 00:52

Personality isn't the most important thing in attractiveness, it never was.

The only reason why personality is always emphasized when attracting another person is because personality is pretty much the only thing that we can change.

Guys, if you're 5'4" theres not much chance you're going to grow 7 inches in the next few months (height = power + stature, read any website, attraction, jobs, promotions are favored to the taller), if you're face is mangled you're not going to wake up looking like fabio tomorrow, if you're not rich you're not going to become rich in the next few years (or decades even), if you're not famous chances are you're not going to become an overnight celebrity.

Girls, if you don't have great figures you're not going to wake up with nice breasts and curves the next morning, if you're past your prime you're not going to magically be transformed 10 years younger, if you don't have a perfect face you can spend all your life in the spa and not change, and if you're fat chances are you're not going to become skinny.

These things all matter, and unless we do something drastic (re-open our growth plaits, plastic surgery, serious dieting and changing your life completely) we can't change these things.

But personality is something we can easily change, or at least pretend to. That's why it is always advertised in dating books and anything of the like. Personality is our best weapon not because it is the most powerful, but because it is the only one we have control over.

Now I'm not saying personality isn't important, I'm just saying let's stop lying to ourselves and be realistic. Attraction is a combination of everything, anyone who says that personality is all they care about is either consciously or unconsciously lying.

And if you think I'm wrong just look up "attraction" at wikipedia, or any other sites and you'll see every single study points out what we are truly looking for.

Cgo, I'm curious did you really expect any serious responses to this survey? No one will respond seriously even if they consciously know what they are looking for simply because they would not want to looks shallow in front of everyone.

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Post by groink » Jun 23rd, '06, 01:16

kotaeshiranaihito wrote:Cgo, I'm curious did you really expect any serious responses to this survey? No one will respond seriously even if they consciously know what they are looking for simply because they would not want to looks shallow in front of everyone.
D-Addicts Quote of the YEAR!!!!!

:offtopic:

Personally, I value the feedback of D-Addicts very little. Like I mentioned in other posts, D-Addicts is a very tiny community with VERY VERY specific interests. kotaeshiranaihito is completely correct... You rarely ever hear the truth from people on-line. Tthe opinions of the members of the community will be very similar, if not identical in many cases because if people like myself express opinions we REALLY believe in, we'll receive a lot of negative feedback. Believe it or not, there is peer pressure on D-A. You will never receive advice agreed upon by a consensus of members that you can take with you and use in real-life. I'm quite certain that 1) the D-Addicts community is very different from your real-life communities (school, work, social groups, church, etc.), and 2) people on-line just aren't being up-front with the truth. Believe me... Most of the "angels" on D-Addicts are saying one thing on-line, but are thinking penis or vagina off-line.

Messageboard are just like asian dramas. They're both escapes from reality. You watch dramas wishing things you see on these shows would actually work in real-life, while on D-Addicts you pretend to be someone different. An earlier post mentioned that you can change your personality. It is VERY difficult to change your personality in real-life, but VERY easy on-line. That's why people enjoy on-line environments. Treat the advice on D-A like the advice you receive from watching eastern asian dramas... It would be great if they were true, but by the end of the day they're both fantasies.

--- groink
1. Always read FAQs for a given forum before posting.
2. Read the first few posts in a topic before posting.
3. Speak using complete English words.
4. The Internet is international. Respect regional and cultural values.

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Post by cgozun » Jun 23rd, '06, 02:13

kotaeshiranaihito, I agree. All three are relatively of equal importance. I think a poll wouldn't be as exciting if there is only one obvious answer. But looking back, I'm not sure if it was overly simplified, or like you said, people are not being honest. In any event, I still think it's an interesting question given what we say and what we enjoy watching don't always agree. Maybe this was the point of my post. Your response was probably what I was looking for in terms of feedback oppose to one liners.

I agree with some of the points groink mentioned. Mainly that DA is a comparatively small community and unique in it's own way. Perhaps even the age difference will put people at odds. But I don't think all opinions on message boards necessarily are means of escape. Some may divert from their normal thinking for whatever reason, but I also think it's possible for people to voice their true feelings thanks to the power of anonymity on-line. They can let loose so to speak. But I suppose we can never be truly certain of this.

I was not expecting much anyway, but I am seriously interested in people's opinions and thought processes, whether it's their own or concocted. Whatever it may be, crowd mentality, peer pressure, stereotyping in all stages of life, I find all fascinating.

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Post by pokute » Jun 23rd, '06, 02:20

Hmmm... I dunno. I think that when Jeffrey Dahmer was drilling holes in his lovers heads he was expressing more clearly than most what it is we really want in a lover. He just had a more "Zen" approach to getting what he wanted than most people.

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Post by nikochanr3 » Jun 23rd, '06, 02:38

groink wrote:
kotaeshiranaihito wrote:Cgo, I'm curious did you really expect any serious responses to this survey? No one will respond seriously even if they consciously know what they are looking for simply because they would not want to looks shallow in front of everyone.
D-Addicts Quote of the YEAR!!!!!

:offtopic:

Personally, I value the feedback of D-Addicts very little. Like I mentioned in other posts, D-Addicts is a very tiny community with VERY VERY specific interests. kotaeshiranaihito is completely correct... You rarely ever hear the truth from people on-line. Tthe opinions of the members of the community will be very similar, if not identical in many cases because if people like myself express opinions we REALLY believe in, we'll receive a lot of negative feedback. Believe it or not, there is peer pressure on D-A. You will never receive advice agreed upon by a consensus of members that you can take with you and use in real-life. I'm quite certain that 1) the D-Addicts community is very different from your real-life communities (school, work, social groups, church, etc.), and 2) people on-line just aren't being up-front with the truth. Believe me... Most of the "angels" on D-Addicts are saying one thing on-line, but are thinking penis or vagina off-line.

Messageboard are just like asian dramas. They're both escapes from reality. You watch dramas wishing things you see on these shows would actually work in real-life, while on D-Addicts you pretend to be someone different. An earlier post mentioned that you can change your personality. It is VERY difficult to change your personality in real-life, but VERY easy on-line. That's why people enjoy on-line environments. Treat the advice on D-A like the advice you receive from watching eastern asian dramas... It would be great if they were true, but by the end of the day they're both fantasies.

--- groink
to discount everyones answers as fake, because (in this case) they are not jaded and manly as yours (youre one of the I CANT BE FRIENDS WITH A GIRL NO WAY people) is a little lame. the discusiion on this board lately has been decent enough. theres a wide variety of opionions, they are not all the same. not even close. is everyone faking?

im nto sure the point of posting and reading posts, to tell people posting has not value. but thats just me.... :whistling:
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Post by Sundial » Jun 23rd, '06, 04:36

I'm going to rock the boat and say that financial security is the most important thing to me. Yeah, I'm a greedy whore. But, I keep thinking about what one of my friends once told me (as a side note, I used to have a crush on him. =x): Girls instinctively look for guys who can physically protect them or provide some type of financial security.

After thinking about it, I think it does have some significance in a relationship: the ability to make ends meet. Being financially set does not necessarily mean you're rich, but it does indicate a more comfortable life. I feel that the stress of making a comfortable lifestyle would cause a rift between any couple. Idealistically, I would like to say that love would get us through anything, but it just isn't that way. A personality compatible with yours is great, but if I'm going to starve, I'd rather pick the rich jerk. I'm just trying to survive.

Though, on the other hand, I'm intelligent, so the need to find a financially supportive spouse isn't really necessary. :] `Still, I wouldn't want an attractive man with a great personality to be spending my hard earned cash at a casino. =x

(Yeah, I know I'm a bit scatterbrained. Heh.)

Oh, a guy who won't piss me off is a plus. =D

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Post by lilswtangel » Jun 23rd, '06, 04:42

definitely personality.
financial stability is important, but I find that even if we were doing okay finanical-wise, I wouldn't able to live with someone I'm not able to get along with.

physical appearance....tchhhhhhh* not everyone stays beautiful forever. :)
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Post by nikochanr3 » Jun 23rd, '06, 10:58

its personality for me. you'd get over at some point if the person isnt gorgeous. its hard to get over if they annoy the hell out of you.
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Post by mimmi » Jun 23rd, '06, 14:39

hmmm cgo, like what everybody said, all three go together hand in hand....so if I'm not in a relationship yet and looking for a lover, I'll definateky vote for physcal appearance, because that's what catch my eyes in the first place, then there goes the process of getting to know each other before making up my mind that he's gonna be my lover....but to choose him to be my lover I'll vote for personality....so marrying him and become my lover thru eternity (on earth) is because of his personality....money? that's comes in last; to help our life together more comfortable and I have expensive taste too :lol :lol....just on the note, during the dating period, I never allowed him to pay for me, I always paid my share....now we're married, most of the time I reached for my purse and he'd say I'll pay for it, then I'll think "oh yeah, we're married" :lol :lol even after all this time :lol :lol weird isn't it?....so back to topic, I'm married so I voted for personality....

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Post by zippyflu » Jun 27th, '06, 02:41

i want to look and some1 and say shes beautiful to all my friends and family. If you cannot acknowledge your lover is a beautiful person, its pretty embarassing. so i vote looks, although personality is important, it is not as important as looks. Personality can be changed, If that person loves u enough, they 'can' change. Its not shallow also saying looks are important. I havent seen too many ugly people on tv, does that mean they are shallow, no its just personal preference.

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Post by nikochanr3 » Jun 27th, '06, 02:51

zippyflu wrote:i want to look and some1 and say shes beautiful to all my friends and family. If you cannot acknowledge your lover is a beautiful person, its pretty embarassing. so i vote looks, although personality is important, it is not as important as looks. Personality can be changed, If that person loves u enough, they 'can' change. Its not shallow also saying looks are important. I havent seen too many ugly people on tv, does that mean they are shallow, no its just personal preference.
i think youll have much more trouble explaining to your family that your girlfriend is evil than if shes ugly. :crazy: i think its easier to get someone to wear nice clothes, or lose weight, than to change personaility. dont you think?
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Post by Ruroshin » Jun 27th, '06, 03:50

You should play the game of pick any two feature.

Finance + Personality - Appearance
  • * Your partner is financially secured, together you own a nice house and your combine income is enough to let you live comfortably and put your kids through the school of their choice and let you enjoy some luxuary.
    * Your partner has a great personality, very funny, witty, understanding, caring and compliments your personality well. He/she is kind and generous and does many charitable deeds.
    * Your partner is very unattractive and is a dwarf (let say half your size).
Finance + Apperance - Personality
  • * Your partner is financially secured, together you own a nice house and your combine income is enough to let you live comfortably and put your kids through the school of their choice and let you enjoy some luxuary.
    * Your partner is very attractive, could of been a model or actor/actress. He/she would constantly turn heads where he/she goes.
    * Your partner has an awefuly personality, extremely lazy besides keeping he/herself looking good, makes you do everything. Very vain, petty and selfish. Gets angry easily and snaps at you for the slighest thing.
Apperance + Personality - Finance
  • * Your partner is very attractive, could of been a model or actor/actress. He/she would constantly turn heads where he/she goes.
    * Your partner has a great personality, very funny, witty, understanding, caring and compliments your personality well. He/she is kind and generous and does many charitable deeds.
    * Your partner is very poor and has a huge debt which would drain just about all your income. You would both struggle each week to make ends meet. You don't have a house and live in a run down appartment and you can't afford to put your kids through higher education.
which option would you pick given those choices :mrgreen:

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Post by nikochanr3 » Jun 27th, '06, 11:26

i think people are confusing which is more important with which they pick first....generally, you'll go for appearance first (especially if you are a guy) generally because you SEE the girl before you recognize her personality. its hard to fully know a persons personality unless you suddenly fall in love with a friend, but its easy to see a girl, and want to know more. so appearance isnt most imporant to me, but it certainly pops up first.
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Post by scott12199 » Jun 27th, '06, 11:47

Ruroshin wrote:You should play the game of pick any two feature.

Finance + Personality - Appearance
  • * Your partner is financially secured, together you own a nice house and your combine income is enough to let you live comfortably and put your kids through the school of their choice and let you enjoy some luxuary.
    * Your partner has a great personality, very funny, witty, understanding, caring and compliments your personality well. He/she is kind and generous and does many charitable deeds.
    * Your partner is very unattractive and is a dwarf (let say half your size).
Finance + Apperance - Personality
  • * Your partner is financially secured, together you own a nice house and your combine income is enough to let you live comfortably and put your kids through the school of their choice and let you enjoy some luxuary.
    * Your partner is very attractive, could of been a model or actor/actress. He/she would constantly turn heads where he/she goes.
    * Your partner has an awefuly personality, extremely lazy besides keeping he/herself looking good, makes you do everything. Very vain, petty and selfish. Gets angry easily and snaps at you for the slighest thing.
Apperance + Personality - Finance
  • * Your partner is very attractive, could of been a model or actor/actress. He/she would constantly turn heads where he/she goes.
    * Your partner has a great personality, very funny, witty, understanding, caring and compliments your personality well. He/she is kind and generous and does many charitable deeds.
    * Your partner is very poor and has a huge debt which would drain just about all your income. You would both struggle each week to make ends meet. You don't have a house and live in a run down appartment and you can't afford to put your kids through higher education.
which option would you pick given those choices :mrgreen:

Finance + Apperance - Personality

maybe she'll get hit by a car and lose all of her memories. =)

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Post by Mythrel » Jun 27th, '06, 16:55

I'd say
Apperance + Personality - Finance


* Your partner is very attractive, could of been a model or actor/actress. He/she would constantly turn heads where he/she goes.
* Your partner has a great personality, very funny, witty, understanding, caring and compliments your personality well. He/she is kind and generous and does many charitable deeds.
* Your partner is very poor and has a huge debt which would drain just about all your income. You would both struggle each week to make ends meet. You don't have a house and live in a run down appartment and you can't afford to put your kids through higher education.
Because I believe the money situation can always change. I don't agree that you can make someones personality change. They can only change themselves if thats what they really want you cannot make them do squat. So I don't see a point in getting into a relationship with someone with a horrible personality believing you are going to change them, you are the delusional one.
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Post by nikochanr3 » Jun 27th, '06, 20:15

i find it funny guys are saying FINANCE. wow, the world has changed. i though that was our job. =P
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Post by pokute » Jun 27th, '06, 20:22

It just means they're too effin' lazy to make it. Everybody wants a free ride, right? Otherwise why ask for something from somebody else that anybody who cares to can go out and get for themselves?

kotaeshiranaihito
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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Jun 28th, '06, 00:37

Not sure if you guys understand exactly what finance is these days, it doesn't mean you sit on your ass at home while your lover makes all the money, it means that each of you is financially secure on your own, and can afford to support yourself.

I don't see anything wrong with wanting that in the other person these days. Times have changed, one salary is not enough to give a family a comfortable lifestyle; for that two salaries are required.

People underestimate how important finance is because well it isn't really something mainstream culture really teaches is important-one of the reasons why so many people lack ambition these days I think.

I would definitely prefer a wife who has a good job and earns her own pay (that's right not afraid of a career woman one bit). The main reason why is because I know that I'm not immortal, and if god forbid something happens to me one day (and this happens all the time to many BTW), I would want my family to have at least a semi-normal lifestyle. Anything is better than poverty-All those of you that never experienced it, don't automatically say I'm wrong, just trust me on this one.

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JenBell
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Post by JenBell » Jun 28th, '06, 00:47

Go for personality everytime. When your with someone, you start taking the look of someone as normal so you get past it. As for financial security, not number one thing but should be up there for most people. Personally, I earn enough so I am not overly bothered if he earns less than me. If he is koo and nice then thats a good start.

Some people look for a million things...just stick to what is most important at the time...and dont forget to smile:-)
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Eileithyia
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Post by Eileithyia » Jun 28th, '06, 00:56

ind it funny guys are saying FINANCE. wow, the world has changed. i though that was our job. =P
i'm a guy i want a rich GF too ^-^

for me,
Appearance --> Personality --> Finance -->others.

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JKH
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Post by JKH » Jun 28th, '06, 00:57

I think that personality is #1, financial security is #2, and looks are #3. I recently saw a program on TV that said that the happier you are with your partner, the more physicially attractive you find them. So, as long as their personality is good, they'll grow on you!

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Post by nikochanr3 » Jun 28th, '06, 03:53

JenBell wrote:Go for personality everytime. When your with someone, you start taking the look of someone as normal so you get past it. As for financial security, not number one thing but should be up there for most people. Personally, I earn enough so I am not overly bothered if he earns less than me. If he is koo and nice then thats a good start.

Some people look for a million things...just stick to what is most important at the time...and dont forget to smile:-)
:D

very good advice.

for anyone else, is it a turn off when someone if checking out if you measure up financially? for me, i always hated when people were sizing me up $ wise. When i was in brokerage it was much worse. Girls practically ASKED your salary. its like, we met ten seconds ago, and you are not trying to ascertain if im an axe murderer or not, you just want to know if i can afford you. Super ick.... :x
Please visit my homepage! :w00t: [url=http://nikochanr3.blogspot.com/[/url]

AIM me at Nikochanr3 if you like. I''''m bored.

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Post by mimmi » Jun 28th, '06, 15:37

:-)like I mention before: 1st appearance, because that's what catch my eyes in the first place, then personality during the dating period less important money....don't really care much about money during the dating period, but if I choose to marry the guy, then ofcourse he has to have a job so we can both live comfortably.....and yeah, like the others said: the appearance grows on you later on while you're marrying. Appearance really doesn't matter anymore, but what's matter most is the personality and money otherwise how can you live happily ever after together if your personality clash each others' and don't have money to support each other....goodness gracious, my family will think "I had a bad fall and hit my head hard on the surface if I marry a total lazy bum and a drunkard:lol :lol :lol ".....but luckily I pick the right one....ofcourse he's the one who asked me to marry him....In real, I turned down three marriage proposals, then accept the fourth :lol :lol :lol....and I just got the right one :D....

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yumiko_ai
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Post by yumiko_ai » Jul 10th, '06, 22:43

Mm, I picked personality, because I think I start to truly notice a guy when he can either make me laugh or smile... :lol

In a way i'm sorta a lil' iffy about the appearance thing, because i think I'd have insecurity issues, also, I myself would be sad if someone I like goes for a girl thats very cute but has a bad personality/temper. And he does to me and says (or hints) "I didn't choose you because you aren't cute/pretty. I'd be sad, so for that reason I'd only pick Appearance 2nd, and finance last.~
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Post by left_rightpoint » Jul 11th, '06, 19:55

Haven't you ever heard rich people can/'t find happiness because everyone become your friend and you can't trust them if they love you unconditionally or is after your money. You know 99.9 percent of us pick appearance over anything because that reality. We are a species that commericalize beauty as a very important trait. Bill boards, creams, shampoo, lotion, pills, and so on are product we use to try to look like people that society has portray us to be. This evolution of beauty is attractive has been going on since the dawn of time, Egyptians and the Renaissance time just to name a few. Each century the definition of "beauty" has change but still no less it still imply your appearances.

I do agree with the rest of you on personality and finaceal stability but that always follow after appearances. You don't approach a person because they have good personality. why because you don't know their personality yet. People make a judgment on what their personality is by what they look. Even your skin color play an important role in making an assumption what he or she is personality wise.

Secondly your financial means is compile of how you dress, what kind of toys you have, and pretty much materialistic things.( when i say finaical stability it means having extra money left over after the covered essential of every day life) These are all symbols which cycles back to your appearances. No matter what direction you go or what you think it always "IS" base on your looks and if its an evolution traits then you can't escape from it.

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Post by alcozar » Jul 11th, '06, 20:06

To me, its probably that its a girl who you can be yourself around, and feel totally relaxed with (cant really imagine finding one who shares my love of asian movies/dramas).

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Post by Kamui6 » Jul 12th, '06, 16:16

left_rightpoint wrote:Haven't you ever heard rich people can/'t find happiness because everyone become your friend and you can't trust them if they love you unconditionally or is after your money. You know 99.9 percent of us pick appearance over anything because that reality. We are a species that commericalize beauty as a very important trait. Bill boards, creams, shampoo, lotion, pills, and so on are product we use to try to look like people that society has portray us to be. This evolution of beauty is attractive has been going on since the dawn of time, Egyptians and the Renaissance time just to name a few. Each century the definition of "beauty" has change but still no less it still imply your appearances.

I do agree with the rest of you on personality and finaceal stability but that always follow after appearances. You don't approach a person because they have good personality. why because you don't know their personality yet. People make a judgment on what their personality is by what they look. Even your skin color play an important role in making an assumption what he or she is personality wise.

Secondly your financial means is compile of how you dress, what kind of toys you have, and pretty much materialistic things.( when i say finaical stability it means having extra money left over after the covered essential of every day life) These are all symbols which cycles back to your appearances. No matter what direction you go or what you think it always "IS" base on your looks and if its an evolution traits then you can't escape from it.
What if it's someone you've know for a while and you've come to know their personality. Not everyone hits on complete strangers or choose their partners out of a crowd at random. Most of the time, choices depend on the circumstances.

Something funny when it comes to being chosen by appearance for me; I hate when a short guy hits on my just because he likes tall girls. :lol
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left_rightpoint
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Post by left_rightpoint » Jul 12th, '06, 21:17

What if it's someone you've know for a while and you've come to know their personality. Not everyone hits on complete strangers or choose their partners out of a crowd at random. Most of the time, choices depend on the circumstances.

Something funny when it comes to being chosen by appearance for me; I hate when a short guy hits on my just because he likes tall girls. :lol[/quote]

Okay let say that situation did happend and im sure it does happend often would you tell him you like him or her because of his personality, keep in mind he/she is ugly. Would you be embrass to hang out with he/she. He/she could have the greatest personality ever but in the back of your mind you will have doubts. If it was a guy the chance of him liking her because of her personality is pretty low, looking attracitve does count. People value how they look to other people and its sad but that how our society work.

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arvinaty
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Post by arvinaty » Jul 14th, '06, 20:55

it was really hard to choose between two last options. but then i remembered a crush that i had on a gorgeous guy for about 8 years (yeah, i first saw him when i was 12). the guy is 5 years older, so he was 17 when i fell for him. when i turned 20 i met him by accident and he kinda asked me out. at least i thought it was a date. but we went out with his firends, he got drunk and his intentions became clear to me. i was really shocked and heartbroken. he turned out to be a total jerk looking for easy girls i thought he at least respected me for all those years he was very kind and gentle :cry: after getting to see his really ugly personality i lost interest in him, he was disgusting and even his looks were of no help. :evil:
so i vote for personality

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Post by keiko001 » Aug 5th, '06, 21:57

personality is important. No woman wants 2 have a bad boy who would only using her! And physical appearance is also imortant, I mean, it´s the first sight of your further lover. Financial security isn´t much important as long as there are no kids! But, if your lover is able 2 buy you flowers every day, he need some full pockets! :-)

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Post by AngelGurl6 » Aug 22nd, '06, 20:09

I choose personality only because I'm a shy person, so I wouldn't approach someone who is hot. Now if the guy has an awesome personality, then that'll help me lower down my wall and make me want to approach him. As for financial situation, well, it's not important until we get married. As long as he can earn money to make himself financial stable then it's fine by me. I'll be working in a healthcare setting soon, so he doesn't have to worry about me financially. Also, if the guy has an awful personality, I don't care if he's rich or handsome, I'll be out the door in a second. This is another reason why I didn't choose money or looks first. For example, if the guy is handsome, he might think, well, I can get any girl I want so I'll treat this girl like crap. Now if the guy's rich, he might think the woman he is with should be at his becking call because he's the bread winner, so he deserves to be treated like a king. Of course all three characteristics are important, it's just that the one that will tie me and the guy together is personality. I also agree with kotaeshiranaihito that if something happens to me, I won't worry if I know he can support himself financially, so he doesn't have to be super rich.

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deshou
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Post by deshou » Jul 16th, '07, 05:40

Seeing lover as in a sexual/ romantic relationship, Im choosing C. physical appearance.
The person can be rich and have such a great personality, but being (that) ugly... sorry, cant do it... I must be that shallow :O

**Or what people would call, young and foolish... :|

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Post by Ruka707 » Jun 27th, '08, 22:47

deshou wrote:The person can be rich and have such a great personality, but being (that) ugly... sorry, cant do it... I must be that shallow :O
Totally agree.
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