girls and their annoyingness of not being able to tell a guy

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kotaeshiranaihito
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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Jun 23rd, '06, 20:05

And what makes you think my life is smooth sailing?

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yumiko_ai
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Post by yumiko_ai » Jul 11th, '06, 00:15

Often times I think people of BOTH genders are simply insecure...

As a girl, if a guy tells me I'm pretty or cute or w/e I'll automatically think whoa I'm either dreaming or he;s making fun of me. Similarily, if someone hints that they like me I'll start to think I've become paranoid, it isn't that theres anything wrong with either of us. I think it's because to save myself from being hurt from rejection or false hopes, I don't make the first move...

But also, I'm quite the hopeless romantic, and it's so nice when a guy confesses to you, you feel "special" and happy that he had the courage to tell you how he felt, it's sweet...~ >.<;;
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今も愛してい. ずっと, 愛... - 由美子 (Yumiko)

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timmynugget
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Post by timmynugget » Jul 11th, '06, 07:15

Well if there is ONE thing a girl fears and that is...

REJECTION :pale:

Some girls and guys take it really bad...so if that happens...they might lose their confidence or self esteem.

left_rightpoint
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Post by left_rightpoint » Jul 11th, '06, 10:23

hmmm girls don't want to feel "rejection" because its painful...come on bunch of crap. Life is about chance and doing things that sometimes make you feel uneasy. where will the world be if ppl don't suck it up and take chances. example: knowing that the chance of you getting hit by something walking across a street discourage you from walking across a street, of course not. You take a chance and walk cross the street because you need to get there and 2ndly you hope for the best that nothing will happened to you. In essence its the same thing with relationship, if you like a guy or have some kind of feelings for him then tell us, don't run around the bush and hope we like you back or figure out that we like you as well. I agree some guys are clueless when it comes to girls giving out hints, which I'm one just be forward. Also most guys aren't mind reader nor body language reader.

I understand about girls being careful about psychotic guys and being safe but what we are talking here is a person you know like a friend or friend of friend.

I here ppl mentioning about oh guys treat girls like crap and do this and that and that is why girls are hesitant to tell him if she like him or not. That also baloney the street run both ways. Lots of guys i know got use or played by a girls but that didn't stop them from being a pansy and not date or tell how they feel toward someone. You step in the court like its the very first guy you ask or dated but with the knowledge of previous experiences and you take a step forward. I'm fine if you don't tell him how you feel but don't lead a person on and then figure why he acting a little crazy. When it comes down to it you are the cause of your own problems. You hide and seek and you will end up with a surprise. Trust me you don't want surprises to be like that. If we have balls to tell you then you should to. Its the 21st century for crying out loud. We aren't cave men who bang the one he like on the head and drag her off.

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Fieryshadow
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Post by Fieryshadow » Jul 17th, '06, 06:31

timmynugget wrote:Well if there is ONE thing a girl fears and that is...

REJECTION :pale:

Some girls and guys take it really bad...so if that happens...they might lose their confidence or self esteem.
well yea rejection hurts.. i liked this girl.. and i finally told her... 2 days later she told me she liked me as well.. that was great.... untill the next week she starts playing mind games again and ive given up.. i'm not gonna play mind games after ive told you i liked you and my intention to go out with you just so you could toy with it.... -.- dam i wish iwas a girl... maybe it would be easier...

kotaeshiranaihito
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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Jul 17th, '06, 14:29

Fieryshadow wrote:
timmynugget wrote:Well if there is ONE thing a girl fears and that is...

REJECTION :pale:

Some girls and guys take it really bad...so if that happens...they might lose their confidence or self esteem.
well yea rejection hurts.. i liked this girl.. and i finally told her... 2 days later she told me she liked me as well.. that was great.... untill the next week she starts playing mind games again and ive given up.. i'm not gonna play mind games after ive told you i liked you and my intention to go out with you just so you could toy with it.... -.- dam i wish iwas a girl... maybe it would be easier...
Yeah, studies show that girls have it much easier when it comes to dating, especially when they're younger (please no arguments with me on this, argue with the scientists who did the studies), but honestly dude you were pretty much asking for it when you told her you liked her. Never ever tell a girl that, at least not until you dated for a little while. If you do you're giving her all the power, and those who have power and know it will definitely use it. Honestly you give her more than enough power when you let her know you're interested, telling her you like her is suicide.

Just to make you feel a little better, 90% of guys are in the same position as you so don't feel too bad about it, it's simply a part of life. Like I said before, don't try to fight it, just accept it.

enink
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Post by enink » Jul 17th, '06, 21:43

I'm a girl and I mean, I can't speak for everyone, but the reason I don't want to tell guys if i like them isn't so much that I fear rejection exactly... most of the time, guys I like I'm sort of friends with, so I get to spend time with them and have conversations with them and stuff... If I tell them and they don't like me back, then our friendship would be ruined too. I guess.... I'd rather have something than nothing?

It goes both ways, but it's really hard for girls to tell if guys like them, particularly if they already knew eachother... I know this guy who is constantly teasing me, being very touchy and saying stuff that might imply he sorta likes me, but he's probably just joking, and even though I sort of like him, I don't think I can do anything about it because I like being friends with him too, and we have club activities together which i really like, and i wouldn't want them ruined because it was awkward between us. So... that's why I don't tell guys if i like them...

Plus, a few months into going out, my ex said to me "i didn't expect you to say yes when i asked you" which is one of the things that makes me rather shy when responding to guys flirting or w/e, because i'm afraid they're just joking and i'll seem like an naive idiot.

And although it's kind of sexist, guys don't respond well to girls who ask them out. it isn't the girls fault usually for thinking the guy should move first; how many girls do you know who would say no or would think it weird just because the guy asked first, but there are a lot of guys who would find it really awkward if a girl asked them/told them first, even if he liked her.

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ToadyChan
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Post by ToadyChan » Jul 17th, '06, 23:32

Isn't there a personality factor as well? Some girls are straightforward, whereas others are not.

Honestly, I tend to get strange feelings around guys, and not just ones I like. I always feel nervous around them, as if I'm being judged. Guys never talk to me, either, so it's extremely difficult for me to read signals they may possibly be sending; just having a guy walk up to me will make me wonder if he likes me, and then I'll start doubting myself, thinking that there's no way he could like me. Self-esteem issues play a powerful part in a girl's ability to say something as risky as confessing to their crush.

left_rightpoint, while I agree one must take chances or live in regret, you also have to remember that physical and emotional wounds vary greatly.

itssmojojojo
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Post by itssmojojojo » Aug 22nd, '06, 14:03

it depends !!
And although it's kind of sexist, guys don't respond well to girls who ask them out. it isn't the girls fault usually for thinking the guy should move first; how many girls do you know who would say no or would think it weird just because the guy asked first, but there are a lot of guys who would find it really awkward if a girl asked them/told them first, even if he liked her.

yup! but everyones different. some guys wouldnt mind.
sometimes girls are perceived as "too easy" if they ask first. but then again it depends on the guy they're asking. some like it some dont.

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xOxcinderellaxOx
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Post by xOxcinderellaxOx » Mar 15th, '08, 08:51

I'm a girl, and I gotta say..... I don't tell a guy that I have feelings for them until they tell me that they have feelings for me. I, myself, have too much pride to risk my heart. Yes, go ahead and blame me for it, I have too much pride! Throughout my years of dating, I have learned that it's not always good to just blurt out your feelings to the opposite sex.

yeoflittlefaith
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Post by yeoflittlefaith » Mar 15th, '08, 09:58

It's a difficult issue. You've got to remember that girls tend to rely more on pragmatics while guys tend to take the literal meaning. Generally speaking girls are more self-conscious than guys and they are often scared that if they just say what they feel it'll make them seem too forward and desperate and they might scare the guy off. Either that or they'll take it the wrong way and think she's just an "easy girl" (hate this term). For the most part girls need security, particularly girls who might've rushed into a relationship in the past and had their partner misunderstand them or just ignore her feelings. It's the whole "well you're the one who said you liked me, why don't you want to do it?" thing. Because they don't have the physical power advantage girls have to feel completely comfortable that they have some kind of control over the situation because, believe it or not, it's tough for girls to understand how guys think too.

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