Interracial dating... your views?

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dayzi
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Post by dayzi » Feb 18th, '06, 10:40

As for my opinion there is nothing wrong with interacial dating since I'm myself come from a different ethnic mix ( a littile bit of arab.chinese and indonesian,malay blood ) and here in Malaysia to consider that you're a mix or pan-asian is lucky because most of them ending up as an actress or model plus one my aunt married to french and my uncle married to thai and as I can see that interacial dating somehow create understanding,tolerance and in the same time respect for other people believe and culture and through we're connected to each other.

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Post by marvelous » Feb 18th, '06, 14:50

I'm not allowed to talk about it or they will do the same thing that has happened. It's part of the government.

I was violated/tortured. Yes little young asian guy who don't like to harm anybody. Who loved to hang out with mixed bags of different race. But what do I know I'm not the problem.

I'm supposed to act nice and be good even if people act like an **** to me. Treat me like garbage.


Antok, that's the thing. I have no problem with other people dating other races. It's really not my business anyways. You get me? Each to his own. But after seeing what govt. has done to me over some race issue, I had to stand corrected. For me...

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Post by Mythrel » Feb 18th, '06, 15:13

OMG Kembang you look like Kristin Kreuk? Can I ummm get your number? LOLOL kidding. I am actually going to be moving out to go to school in BC in the city where they film smallville XD errr back to topic heh.

marvelous, I don't think you get that we understand racism will exists. I am sorry you had hardships but blaming it on race is just stupid. Do you have any confidence in yourself? If you want a high paying job then do the work required to get it. Go to school for 7 years and study your ass off if thats what you want. I am white and work at a gas station. I work with guess what majority whites so this whole theory of white people always going to the top is balony. Its all about who you know. So go make friends with those rich suits and maybe someday when a position opens and you are qualified they will offer it to you. I struggle(took me 6 months to even get that shitty job and I applyed EVERYWHERE in this city), and I take offense to your comment that white people don't struggle thats a ignorant remark. I am working my ass off to get out to school in BC and get into the game industry after school and I am struggling to get there but im doing my best. Just because I am white doesn't mean I am going to succeed thats bullshit. Try and make your life better for yourself but this blame game isn't going to get you anywhere in life, only close you in.

I understand you have your own opinions but please understand you are not the only person who struggles. This is life there are always going to be hardships and its how you deal with them that will get you through. No one here is saying racism is going to go away, but its all how you look at it. If you sit there saying its racism and thats why we never go anywhere then of course racism wins because you are doing nothing to stop it, but blaming it. You are not trying to prove the other side wrong. Wow I dunno how this post turned into a racial topic, but I guess that was bound to happen.

If you truely love that person it wouldn't matter what everyone around you is saying or how they look at you. Let them live in a close minded world it suits them. They can die believing they are right, if ignorance is what makes them happy. I'd rather be open minded and open to the possiblities. I don't see any real reason why interracial couple should not exist and the more this goes on the less of a defense I see. I guess its being hopeful or biased but its how I see it. Its all things that with effort can be resolved and if you are not willing to put the effort into it then don't get involved with anyone because your relationships will go no where.
Last edited by Mythrel on Feb 18th, '06, 15:20, edited 2 times in total.
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Post by penpen23 » Feb 18th, '06, 15:16

I think we can easily agree on one thing: These mixed girls are hot. (Note: Girls, feel free to provide examples of mixed guys, i'm not quite up on that side =p)
Sawajiri Erika, French and Japanese
[img]http://www.shosen.co.jp/hp/gallery/sa/sawajiri_erika/images/sawajiri_erika_04.jpg[/img]
Lily Thai, Filipino, Greek, and Hawaiian
[img]http://www.dragginladies.com/free/lily_thai/lily_thai.jpg[/img]


And in closing, here's a valentine's day news article about interracial marriage :mrgreen:

http://www.hattiesburgamerican.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060214/NEWS01/602140303/1002

Note: More mixed girls are needed. Provide pictures! Drown out the nonbelievers!

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bugsie
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Post by bugsie » Feb 18th, '06, 15:22

if i remember it right, isn't Lily Thai a pornstar? she is pretty though.
Confused? Go FAQ yourself!








Last edited by bugsie on Thu Jun 18, 2006 12:00 am; edited 998 times in total

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Post by Atomic » Feb 18th, '06, 15:31

Lily Thai isn't actually Thai.. She just choose that name because Lily Filipina would sound retarded.. but she's still one of the best porn stars out there.
penpen23 wrote:I think we can easily agree on one thing: These mixed girls are hot. (Note: Girls, feel free to provide examples of mixed guys, i'm not quite up on that side =p)
Sawajiri Erika, French and Japanese
[img]http://www.shosen.co.jp/hp/gallery/sa/sawajiri_erika/images/sawajiri_erika_04.jpg[/img]
Lily Thai, Filipino, Greek, and Hawaiian
[img]http://www.dragginladies.com/free/lily_thai/lily_thai.jpg[/img]


And in closing, here's a valentine's day news article about interracial marriage :mrgreen:

http://www.hattiesburgamerican.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060214/NEWS01/602140303/1002

Note: More mixed girls are needed. Provide pictures! Drown out the nonbelievers!
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Post by bakan3ko » Feb 18th, '06, 15:44

@marvelous has a point. can we atleast try to see it through his shoes instead of just abashing him senselessly. and, it isnt just his random experiences with a few ignorant people. i would say that people in general are ignorant. they define the world according to their experience. your world, reality, and hopes are no more valid than his.

personally, i believe that from my point of view that there will always be this passive racisim that is just soooo fffing irritating. what i mean by that is that in the past it was active. you know KKK riding around linching people, segregation, and just outspoken paranoia about other races. today, that has changed thank god. but, that being said, i think there is still passive racism in the majority of society.

passive racism is just that. you dont speak it, you dont do it, but if it comes down to it you will decide based on what is familiar for you. and of course, there will be no asians in high offices but WA did have or has an Japanese American governor. but, i mean it is true. asian guys (another huge topic of the difference between asian guys and gals) can experience passive racism in the workplace. well, i that being said i say that the old generation is still around in the higher ranks of business; maybe in a few more years... and, im not saying that everyone is like this.

racism to me is define as believing one race is better than another and of course discrimination.

and, okay, there are many counter examples and examples for and against it. but, we are not defining a physicial law ie in classic physics ball goes up and ball always has to come down. this isnt physics; this is life. there are always abberations to go against the norm. but, i am just saying as a norm (50% >) that i think there is still passive racism.

@marvelous - you know i dont know what happen to you. **** happens. sometimes serious ****. just let it go. the hopes people have (which are good) here are just for goodness and progress. the world still has amazing beauty dont give up just yet on it. go find it.

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Post by marvelous » Feb 18th, '06, 15:48

marvelous, I don't think you get that we understand racism will exists. I am sorry you had hardships but blaming it on race is just stupid. Do you have any confidence in yourself? If you want a high paying job then do the work required to get it. Go to school for 7 years and study your ass off if thats what you want. I am white and work at a gas station. I work with guess what majority whites so this whole theory of white people always going to the top is balony. Its all about who you know. So go make friends with those rich suits and maybe someday when a position opens and you are qualified they will offer it to you. I struggle(took me 6 months to even get that shitty job and I applyed EVERYWHERE in this city), and I take offense to your comment that white people don't struggle thats a ignorant remark. I am working my ass off to get out to school in BC and get into the game industry after school and I am struggling to get there but im doing my best. Just because I am white doesn't mean I am going to succeed thats bullshit. Try and make your life better for yourself but this blame game isn't going to get you anywhere in life, only close you in.
Oh really!? Do you know exactly what I've been through? If you don't please shut the hell up. This will last forever in my life. What if you were tortured for 8 YEARS over nothing??? Only thing they did it is to make a point how much of an assholes they can be!!! They violated me. Made me do things I didn't want to do because I had to protect myself. Only god will judge me, not you or anybody around me.

I wouldn't care as much if I got beat/stabbed/shot. But I lost a lot of friends, relationships, family because of this. If you don't know exactly what happened. Please don't. It's not funny. It's been almost a year and I am still recuperating.

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Post by Néa Vanille » Feb 18th, '06, 16:04

Anna Ohura, one of the most popular Japanese porn stars, is also half-Caucasian!

She is very proud that her father is French and claims to resemble him more than her mother. :mrgreen:

[img]http://www.japanforever.net/jf/modules/My_eGallery/gallery/J-Girls/Mix_Girl_Gallery/anna_ohura29.jpg[/img]

There was also a website dedicated to mentioning the MANY celebrities of mixed heritage, a clear indication that being mixed means having pretty good chances of being viewed as exceptionally attractive by others.

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Post by Lindus » Feb 21st, '06, 23:46

marvelous wrote:Oh really!? Do you know exactly what I've been through? If you don't please shut the hell up. This will last forever in my life. What if you were tortured for 8 YEARS over nothing??? Only thing they did it is to make a point how much of an assholes they can be!!! They violated me. Made me do things I didn't want to do because I had to protect myself. Only god will judge me, not you or anybody around me.

I wouldn't care as much if I got beat/stabbed/shot. But I lost a lot of friends, relationships, family because of this. If you don't know exactly what happened. Please don't. It's not funny. It's been almost a year and I am still recuperating.
Hm, interesting... So, some US agency took you prisoner (POW?) in say 1997 and you just got out and now are on a revenge trip toward all that has anything to do with the US or associated with "whities"... Very rational.

"marvelous", what your issues has to do with this particular topic "Interracial Dating" I seriously don't know. If you want to vent about how someone tortured you (officially not done in the US) and degraded you you are more than welcome to open a lawsuit against the party you have found been most egregious toward you. This is what is done in the US, and if you don't get any response there you can always talk to some human rights organization like Human Rights Watch or Amnesty International and they might help you in your quest. Ah, yes, there is a cinch here though, most of the staff in these orgs are "whities" so maybe not...
Anyway, I feel for you and I sincerely hope that the people who have tortured you will burn in hell for their sins, but please, this has nothing to do with interracial dating. When it comes to friends and family I think you should vent some anger at their bigoted actions as even though someone ends up in gaol they are still the same person they were before, only more experienced in the consequences of their actions when they come out.

Oh, and frankly this "Shut up biatch, You don't know what you're talking about" is rather nonconstructive as a serious discussion has been attempted to be kept going. To quote one of my favourite authors "where the intellect ends, name calling and violence begins"...

With hopes they all have a fine time,
/Lindus
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Post by marvelous » Feb 22nd, '06, 00:20

Everyone knows USA tortures. They even have footage of an Arab man getting tortured on Australian TV. You are right this is 21st century and people are still getting tortured. Human rights group??? What can human right groups do to American Fed. Govt.? I mean god American Govt. goes to other countries and start wars and take natural resources as they please. America in present time is what Romans were in ancient days.

There are different forms of torturing you probably know. I'm not going to go on a suicide mission to get more **** done to me.

My post is about interracial dating. Why I still think there's more of a race issue than meets the eye.

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Post by otaku72 » Feb 22nd, '06, 00:46

marvelous wrote:Everyone knows USA tortures. They even have footage of an Arab man getting tortured on Australian TV. You are right this is 21st century and people are still getting tortured. Human rights group??? What can human right groups do to American Fed. Govt.? I mean god American Govt. goes to other countries and start wars and take natural resources as they please. America in present time is what Romans were in ancient days.

There are different forms of torturing you probably know. I'm not going to go on a suicide mission to get more **** done to me.

My post is about interracial dating. Why I still think there's more of a race issue than meets the eye.
Now now... a charged topic to say the least, just bear in mind "USA" and "American" could accuratley and easily be swapped for many other names. Hmmm, let's see.... for example "North Korea" or "China" or "Mexico" or "Columbia" or "Israel" (gasp! did he just say that?!) or "..." the list goes on and on and on.

Sadly there would be very, very few exceptions to the rule especially if one were to include the 'different forms of torturing' mentioned above.

Things like allowing matters of race to enter into matters which can and should only be decided by the heart!

At least that's my opinion on the matter.
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Post by baoi » Feb 22nd, '06, 01:02

Because i am so use to diversity.. whenever i look at a person, i don't see the color, i don't even recongnize it unless i think about it.. So, i am not Racist. I'm just prejudice..

ANiways, I am so FOR it.. I don't wanna be limited to only my race, i mean there are so many people out there, i cna't just settle for a Little Walden Pond, when i have the whole Pacific ocean is just right there waiting.. Aniways, Yeah, i would love to marry someone that is not my enthicity.. French boys are Heartbreakers, but they are WICKED KUTE!!

I am Pro-Interracial Marriage..

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Post by marvelous » Feb 22nd, '06, 01:16

I didn't say anything bad to them nor did any physical harm to them. All I did was show up to a place because they wanted me out for some reason. But I had right to be there. I just wanted them to say it in my face and stop playing games. Since this country stands for non race discrimination at least in public places.

I'm not saying America is all bad. I'm sure America is trying to do a decent job and are trying to do the best job they can. I had a domestic problem with some people. Not national security issues. They stepped in and fucked with me for years and than tortured me for months because I was Asian.

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Post by GhstDreamer » Feb 22nd, '06, 03:35

marvelous wrote:I didn't say anything bad to them nor did any physical harm to them. All I did was show up to a place because they wanted me out for some reason. But I had right to be there. I just wanted them to say it in my face and stop playing games. Since this country stands for non race discrimination at least in public places.
It happened to me a few times and it's something that I learned about this world: there are crappy people out there. Sometimes they really seem overwhelming because the few makes life seems so difficult. Remember, there are also good people.

Some of my racial encounters:

Some Americans told me to go back to my own country - yes, they said this as they were driving away in their car with American license plates - and they were on Canadian soil (I got a kick out of that one actually)... :roll Sometimes you have to laugh

When I was Texas, a group of 5 big white guys were banging and kicking my car (a couple of my Asian female friends were with me) and they were screaming that they're going to beat us up and kill us...it was scary but kind of ironic too - I mean how manly can you be if you want to beat up three 5' 1' girls? Anyways, my sister yelled at them and threatened she would kick their asses and they actually ran off like chickens...lol...

Also in Texas, the waiters wouldn't serve me and I was kicked out once. At one of the Starbucks, the servers refused to come over to me....I have pretty bad memories of Texas... :glare: I guess that's probably one place I'll never visit again..lol...Funny thing was - I used to work with a lot of Texans here in Canada and they were very decent, nice and kind...so there's always a balance of assholes and non-assholes everywhere...

Even though we all have horrible experiences, we can also have some very positive ones as well (hopefully those outweigh the bad). Instead of looking at race as the determining factor for a relationship - we need to look much deeper than that...Just because a guy is Chinese does not neccesarily mean that he will share the same experiences as me just because I'm Chinese. I think that's the problem when people argue against inter-racial marriages - that somehow being from the same race will automatically make two people compatible because they hypothetically would share similar experiences. For example I would have nothing in common with a rich Chinese socialite - I mean we might share some similar (but superficial) things like using chopsticks but nothing else...

So yes, I"m for inter-racial marriages - it's pretty redundant to me to look at race when I'm deciding who I should go out with and want to spend the rest of my life with. I would hate to limit my scope of good men out there :D
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Post by aNToK » Feb 22nd, '06, 04:05

Hmm.... Haven't kept up here in a few days. Are we back on the interracial dating thoughts again? I think that we can all agree that racism is alive and well and that there's always going to be enough fucked-up things going on that they will affect most people here to one degree or another.

Marvelous, I can do my best to empathize with whatever it is that you went through, and I can understand why that would color your perceptions of America, and possibly whites in particular. Quite frankly, though, they have very little if anything to do with interracial dating and everything to do with racism in general. Rather than trying to turn this thread into another boring "let's bash the USA" thread, why not let it get back on topic? I've learned that when things go off on tangents like this one, people who would otherwise like to post their views on the original subject shy away because they don't want to jump in the middle of someone else's flame war.

We've all read your post and understand that you're saying you were persecuted because of your race in a big way. Got it. If you have any examples or experiences that relate to race and dating, then feel free to post them. If they don't and it's going to be more about the "evil empire", then start a thread relating to that and let this one continue to be a free exchange of thoughts about the dating thing as it was originally intended.

(and before you mention any of my previous posts and examples, realize that they were in response to you questioning my experiences, and that they all related directly to the subject of race and dating.)
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Post by rel » Feb 27th, '06, 20:08

The people who are NOT all for interracial relationships are not racist, the word "racist" is just a knee jerk reaction people in the west like throw around. It's called tribalism or a tribalist. MANY people from MANY countries feel this way. For those people who dont know the meaning, I suggest looking it up in the dictionary.

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Post by aNToK » Feb 27th, '06, 21:29

Ah, knee-jerk reaction from the folks out west. (Of course, something so crass and gutteral a description as "racist" must come from us good old barbarian honkies out west, right?) (btw, I assume that west includes Canada, there? Just checking.)

Okay, Sparky, I'll play. Just for a laugh, let's get a "dictionary" definition of the terms, k?

rac·ism

1. The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others.
2. Discrimination or prejudice based on race.

trib·al·ism

1. The organization, culture, or beliefs of a tribe.
2. A strong feeling of identity with and loyalty to one's tribe or group.

Here's a few more for the hell of it:

na·tion·al·ism

1. Devotion to the interests or culture of one's nation.
2. The belief that nations will benefit from acting independently rather than collectively, emphasizing national rather than international goals.
3. Aspirations for national independence in a country under foreign domination.

sep·a·ra·tist

1. One who secedes or advocates separation, especially from an established church; a sectarian or separationist.
2. One who advocates disjunction of a group from a larger group or political unit: Basque separatists.
3. One who advocates cultural, ethnic, or racial separation.

big·ot

1. One who is strongly partial to one's own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ.
2. n : a prejudiced person who is intolerant of any opinions differing from his own


Now with all that definition crap out of the way, I'll say this: You are every bit as wrong to unequivocally state, "The people who are NOT all for interracial relationships are not racist," as those are would automatically assume that anyone not waving an interracial-dating banner must be racist. Did you take some kind of worldwide poll to see why people may or may not be for or against interracial relationships? I seriously doubt it.

Are there valid reasons to be against or at least hesitant about race-mixing? (your definition "tribalism" runs more along the lines of culture or nationality-mixing, btw. Not really race-specific, though it often falls along those lines) Sure, for some people. I know that there are millions upon millions of folks out there who are very proud of their race/heritage/culture, etc. who wish to preserve their way of life, and there's nothing wrong with that at all. Everyone's free to maintain their own values. It's when you look down upon those who do choose to date, marry, etc. outside their "group" and denigrate, mistreat, or think less of them that it becomes an issue. That's most often when that moral high-ground thing comes into play, and at that point, you are thinking less of someone who doesn't follow your beliefs, which brings us around to the definition of "bigot". At that point, you will have earned that title whether it comes from "nationalism", "tribalism", "racism", or whatever.

Is a girl who dates only 6 foot tall and above Black guys a racist? Not likely. She just may be strongly attracted to that type. Nothing wrong with that. Now if she did so out of loathing of her "own kind", then she would be a racist and a bigot, though when directed at onesself it's even sadder.


Hmm... rambling again. Make it simple: Is everyone who doesn't condone interracial dating a racist? Certainly not. There are many reasons why one would choose to believe that it isn't the thing to do for themselves. Though this belief is valid in your eyes and that's fine, it doesn't give you or anyone else the right to negatively judge others for their beliefs and actions. They don't like being told that they're wrong in their beliefs any more than you do, and their beliefs are just as valid as yours.

That said, are many if not most of the people against interracial relationships bigots, if not outright racists? As often as not, yes, I believe so. Just as you call the word racist a "knee-jerk" reaction, the "I'm not a racist" comment is just as often a knee-jerk response to the accusation. Many people do carry racial intolerances and prejudices that they don't really care to analyze or admit... Depends on the individual as to where they fit on that particular scale.
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Post by marvelous » Feb 27th, '06, 21:52

big·ot

1. One who is strongly partial to one's own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ.
2. n : a prejudiced person who is intolerant of any opinions differing from his own

There's the definition I was looking for. America has a lot of.


I am a tribalist. I don't want to get married to Chinese or any asian for that matter other than Korean. I don't look down other people for marrying other race. That's their problem.

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Post by aNToK » Feb 28th, '06, 03:04

marvelous wrote:big·ot

1. One who is strongly partial to one's own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ.
2. n : a prejudiced person who is intolerant of any opinions differing from his own

There's the definition I was looking for. America has a lot of.


I am a tribalist. I don't want to get married to Chinese or any asian for that matter other than Korean. I don't look down other people for marrying other race. That's their problem.
Every country you go to has plenty of it. Including Korea. America is far from being the exclusive home of bigots and racists. I'd also venture to guess that it's also one of the countries in the world with the highest ratios of interracial couples per capita, along with being one of the most racially integrated countries in the world. Two sides to that coin, there, Marv.

And it's not a "problem" at all as you suggest. Much more of a blessing...
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Post by marvelous » Feb 28th, '06, 03:17

Well I haven't been to Korea in what 22 years. LOL I wouldn't know. America is my home now. It's what I see here. I'm just pointing out.

Can I ask you something? Why did you marry a Chinese girl? Are culture is 180 degrees. I can't see myself marrying a white girl. Just a question don't get offended.

I've met couple sweet white girls. Either they were too young or we just couldn't be together. My friend's sister. She had a thing for me for a long time. We kissed and stuff but I'm 10 years older than her. She eventually settled down with a older white guy around my age. I have morals and try to see if we are compatible or whatever but some people just run where there is vagina. Sometimes I envy these type of people. They are so care free.

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Post by bakan3ko » Feb 28th, '06, 03:27

Antok, I dont think people who are against interracial marriages are racist. And, you probably dont mean that but your argument comes off that way.

Would you think a person who sticks with his/her own race/culture/nationality racist? Maybe, he or she is and then maybe it is just familiarity. The point is that he/she doesnt stick to their own "kind" due to any notion of superiority or prejudice.

To me, people arguing that people who stick to their own kind as rascist/uncultured/or reclusive are racist because they are implying that there is something else in other kinds of people that they are missing out on. People are people. There are crazy people in every culture/race.

haha, i dont think i expounded that too well but that is what i get for 4 hours of sleep. I dont know but that is what i think but ehh.. i dont know too much. and, quoting a famous author, "people will believe what they want to believe." I guess this is the same for both sides of the argument. there is no horizon of authenticity.

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Post by aNToK » Feb 28th, '06, 04:02

@bakan3ko: Umm... if you actually read my post through, you'd see that I said nothing of the sort. I actually offered a few reasons why someone would NOT want to be in one. Read and think. Here, I'll quote myself:

"Hmm... rambling again. Make it simple: Is everyone who doesn't condone interracial dating a racist? Certainly not."

I thought that was pretty clear.

That was followed later by:

"That said, are many if not most of the people against interracial relationships bigots, if not outright racists? As often as not, yes, I believe so"

The phrase "as often as not" could be (over) simplified and read as "half the time", meaning that the other half, racism isn't the issue, so I don't quite see where you come to your conclusion. What I DO take issue with are statements like the one you made:

" Maybe, he or she is and then maybe it is just familiarity. The point is that he/she doesnt stick to their own "kind" due to any notion of superiority or prejudice."

Why? Because the first part is very often true, but the second sentence is a blanket statement intoning that superiority and prejudice NEVER play a part in "sticking to one's own kind", which is patently untrue. You will very rarely, if ever, in fact, hear me refer to people's behavior, beliefs, etc. with words like "always, never," etc. because those words will come back to bite you in the ass because there are very rarely any absolutes in human behavior.

I always form my opinions on someone's prejudices, preferences, etc. based on how that individual presents himself or herself to me (one of the rare "always".) I would hope that others do the same.

So to summarize: Is everyone who is against interracial relationships automatically a racist? NO. Are a lot of them? YES.

I doubt that you can find much fault with that conclusion.
I am not obsessed. I am just very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very focussed...

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Post by aNToK » Feb 28th, '06, 04:19

@Marvelous: Fair question. Why did I marry a Chinese girl? Simple answer: I didn't.

I met, fell in love with, and married a sweet, strong, independent, wonderful, caring, and beautiful WOMAN. It just so happens that that woman is Chinese. If she were Black, Korean, Latina, whatever, it wouldn't have made any difference. Her heart and soul are unique to her, and that's all that matters.

I didn't marry her because she's Asian, I married her because she's Ellen.

Any labels anyone else would wish to tack on don't really matter to me at all.

btw, I wouldn't envy guys who will just hop on whomever comes along. Having morals and values and honoring them is something that the world could use a bit more of. (Yes, even if those values differ drastically from my own, and being proud of your race and culture should not in and of itsself ever be seen as racist. Pride and racism are not the same thing.)
I am not obsessed. I am just very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very focussed...

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Post by aNToK » Feb 28th, '06, 04:37

Hmm... The culture thing. Lessee: She can trace her heritage back almost 2,000 years to a very influential and wealthy family tree, I can trace mine back about 200 years to some revolutionists in Ireland and maybe 5 generations on the Blackfoot and Cherokee sides.
She hated beef, I hated seafood. She's a private, reserved person, while I'm an overfriendly, excitable, goofy, unshy person who wouldn't know an inhibition if it came up and bit me in the ass.
She loves stability and building a solid foundation for the future, and I'm always looking for a new windmill to tilt at.
She's chopsticks and teacups, I'm steak and potatoes. In so many ways, we're so opposite that you'd wonder how we even comminicate, let alone fall in love (including our zodiac and Chinese birthsigns...)

But you know what? We clicked from day 1. And over 10 years later, we're still clicking. Yin-yang? 2 puzzle pieces that fit? No clue. I just know that we temper each other's strengths, and balance each other's weaknesses, and we've grown more and more in love with every passing year.

Or as I often put it, "I lift her feet off the ground once in a while, and she keeps me in orbit".
I am not obsessed. I am just very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very focussed...

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Post by bakan3ko » Feb 28th, '06, 04:51

well, quite frankly, i wish people will stop being so wishy washy about things. i mean you stated that half the time it is true; and yet you asserted, mind you, with some blanketed "just in case im wrong which could be true the other half of the time" statement.

i mean if you want to say something just say it. i know there are no absolute truths. but, can you just say what you mean and not mean what you say. basically, at a rudimentary level, i believe you are asserting some kind of truth out of conjectures and then cushioning it with a "just in case im wrong" statement. that is the worst kind of argument.

and, how is my sentence/spew a statement. i never asserted anything hence the word "maybe" and my whole spew about the eye of the beholder and no horizons of authenticity. jeez... believe me i know that i know nothing that is the only truth i know.

i dont disagree with your idea nor did i ever say im against interracial marriages. what i am against is people expounding and asserting conjectures out of nowhere and attacking other people's equally valid beliefs.

and, fine i see what you are saying but you are not even reading what i wrote. maybe, because you are bent on disproving me before even interpreting my sentence correctly ie my quote "people will believe what they want to believe." what i meant by the second half of my delirious spew is that the point is that "in the case of famility (assertion), it isnt racism (assertion)". and not, "people who stick with their own kind are not racist (assertion)" as you interpreted it. maybe i write like crap; most likely i write like crap. in that case, im sorry for not being clear.

in the end, i would say just take each case on an individual basis.

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Post by aNToK » Feb 28th, '06, 05:19

bakan3ko wrote:well, quite frankly, i wish people will stop being so wishy washy about things. i mean you stated that half the time it is true; and yet you asserted, mind you, with some blanketed "just in case im wrong which could be true the other half of the time" statement.

i mean if you want to say something just say it. i know there are no absolute truths. but, can you just say what you mean and not mean what you say. basically, at a rudimentary level, i believe you are asserting some kind of truth out of conjectures and then cushioning it with a "just in case im wrong" statement. that is the worst kind of argument.

and, how is my sentence/spew a statement. i never asserted anything hence the word "maybe" and my whole spew about the eye of the beholder and no horizons of authenticity. jeez... believe me i know that i know nothing that is the only truth i know.

i dont disagree with your idea nor did i ever say im against interracial marriages. what i am against is people expounding and asserting conjectures out of nowhere and attacking other people's equally valid beliefs.

and, fine i see what you are saying but you are not even reading what i wrote. maybe, because you are bent on disproving me before even interpreting my sentence correctly ie my quote "people will believe what they want to believe." what i meant by the second half of my delirious spew is that the point is that "in the case of famility (assertion), it isnt racism (assertion)". and not, "people who stick with their own kind are not racist (assertion)" as you interpreted it. maybe i write like crap; most likely i write like crap. in that case, im sorry for not being clear.

in the end, i would say just take each case on an individual basis.
Hello, dingbat, were you late for the parade or something? I am not wishy-washy about a damn thing!!!! If you'd bother to actually read the posts, you'll find that I've been very consistent with everything I've said. If it's too much for your little processing center to handle, then that's your problem, not mine.

I never said "just in case I'm wrong, then....", nor did I ever intone anything of the sort. Do I pick apart people's sentences in my reasonings? Most definitely. I explain the meaning of the phrase "as often as not", and you find it wishy-washy? Lordee, is it time for remedial class tonight? Some people are against interracial relationships because they have racist leanings and prejudices. Other people are against it because of various cultural beliefs, etc. How exactly is that "wishy-washy"?
"As often as not" means exactly that. It's not a fall-back phrase, nor is it any kind of cop-out at all. A man stands in front of you and says that he's against interracial dating. I say that the odds that he feels this way because of bigotry are just as high as the odds that he feels that way out of respect for his culture, etc. That's not wishy-washy, waffling, or any other term you would use to ascribe to me with regards to me being uncertain of my belief.

As far as attacking other's beliefs, if someone comes off in attack mode, spews their opinions out there as absolute truths, is disrespectful of choices other people make, then hell yes, you get me in fight mode. No doubt.

My point about why I don't use always, never, etc. in my posts much can be summarized in the only part of your last post that made sense.

" the end, i would say just take each case on an individual basis."

That, my friend, is what I believe. If you're inclined to judge someone, judge that person as a person. Not a color, not a natinoality, but a person. Kind of goes back to that "Judge not lest Ye be judged" thing. I don't throw stones from a glass house. Go dig through my post history, and you'll find that I'm extremely consistent in what I say and believe.
I am not obsessed. I am just very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very focussed...

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Post by bakan3ko » Feb 28th, '06, 06:03

well, i read Rel's reply and your answer.

First, of all, it is late. Second, I can assure you I did not miss the parade and in fact I would rather NOT join the parade. I like to think for myself.

And, you did not read Rel's post very well most likely because he did not write it very well. calm down and read what i have to write. let me translate. people that are not all for (still have a possiblitiy for being for ir. m. which rules out your comment bout him being absolute; because he actually never really did say people that ARE against interracial marriages)) interracial marriages are racist. people in the west (wherever that is) use the word racist incorrectly. what they mean is tribalist. so, rel meant people in the west think that people who are not all for interracial relationships mis classify them as racist when they are more tribalist in his opinion. and, that is the point, he never said they were racist; he meant they were tribalist (good word use)!

and, then you asserted out of nowhere that he must be tribalist or something. dude, cmon he just stated his opinion which is perfectly fair no need to call him names.

then you mention something about him implying you are a honkey or something. he never ever said that and he never meant it as well. i think he was just peeved you were throwing the word racist around too liberally.

and, you cannot state a valid argument on conjectures with words like "maybe not" and "as often as not". if it is your opinion than it is fine which is probably your point. dont make it out as you are trying to state a fact; if you would just state "in my opinon" in front of ever paragraph or point... you said people were equally incline to do this as they were to do that. i mean you cant get anymore more wishy washy than that. in the end, what you are saying is that it is on an individual basis so there is no need to even go into generalities. i guess we are sorta arguing in circles at the moment.

you know i am sure you love your wife very much. and, you want to defend what you value, and i am perfectly fine with that but know that that is your circumstance, your experience, and hence (i will take a giant step in philosophical discourse here) your reality. rel and the others just want to make their points known and i sorta agree with rel. the word racist has been thrown around way too liberally.

and, fyi, i graduated from a top ten university in the US, according to US News and World Report, of which I am extremely proud hence my not donating a dime to the blood sucking endowment.

err, as you pointed out, it is all at an individual level which i agree. to each his own is my rule. make rice as you would make it.

and, im not a dingbat; im a wingbat! :P god im so clever sometimes... :alcoholic:

i hope that makes sense. sorry for not reading; i think i can glance read sometimes. and, i mean this is a hot topic and one that requires us to remove oiurselves from the comfort of our shoes and wear many shoes.

as you said, the world is not in absolutes. lets not judge people on that; let them explain themselves.

i guess my only point is that people are people. if they want to hang together than that is fine; they arent missing out. if they want to inteperse with other kinds of people than that is fine too. they arent missing out.

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Post by aNToK » Feb 28th, '06, 06:50

Okie doke, I'm very willing to respond in kind. I'll do the number thing since there's a few different things here.

1. Congrats on thinking for yourself. Everyone should. The parade reference alluded to coming into the discussion late, having apparently not read all the posts leading up to the latest ones.

2. Rel wrote a hasty, ill-thought post. I neither need nor desire for you to "translate" what he meant. You are not he. (she?). He wrote a knee-jerk response based on his own biases rather than any "facts". He wished to cause a reaction, and he got one.
And no, none of my point was "ruled out". You are the one reading too much into his comment. He didn't put that much thought into it himself. He implies that racism plays no part in being against interracial relationships, and that it is only tribalism that accounts for the bias. This is simply not true. He further denies racism as a proper word, relegating it to something originating and solely belonging here in the "west". Same as being proud to be American makes you patriotic, while being proud to be white makes you a bigot, KKK stoolie, et al. It's a double-standard at best and an outright falsehood at worst.
And his word usage wasn't the most accurate either. By inserting countries into the equation as he did, Nationalism would be a better word choice than tribalism. And yes, when someone mentions getting a dictionary, he better bring a thesaurus along as well if he wishes to engage me in debate. I WILL pick your arguments apart and magnify any mistakes to deflate your argument and make you look silly and uneducated.

3.Exactly where in the hell did I accuse Rel of being tribalist, or any -ist at all for that matter? Go back and read that post of mine with the definitions word for word and find and quote it for me, k? Nothing of the sort is there.

4. I threw honkie out there to respond in the somewhat over-the-top fashion that he made in his post. It's called exaggerating to show how ridiculous something is. I do that often to good effect in debates.

5. I'm NOT arguing in circles about " as often as not" already!!!!! It is a phrase saying that the possibilities of one or another thing being true IN THAT CASE are roughly even. Specifically whether or not one particular person's reasoning falls along racial or cultural lines. This is referring to the person in front of you, not your own beliefs. The next guy very well may fall the other way. No wishy-washy there. Just some colloquial math.

And "maybe, maybe not" is a much more honest and accurate reply when all the facts about a particular person or event are not in evidence. Your repeated mistakes here are that you're making way too many assumptions and inferences with regards to what's been written as opposed to actually reading the words and taking them as they are. You won't catch me saying "Yes this is", or "No, this isn't" if I don't know which individual we're talking about, or if I don't know them very well. I don't make a lot of assumptions here. It's a true fool who says yes or no when all the facts are not in evidence.

6. Congrats on your degree! If it makes you feel any better, everyone's a dingbat (or wingbat?) in one area or another. Don't take it too personal. Have one for me. I still have more work to do tonight....
I am not obsessed. I am just very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very focussed...

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Post by aNToK » Feb 28th, '06, 07:12

Hmm... missed part of the middle stuff. Brief explanation: Everyone is and should be seen as an individual with their beliefs. When I say something like "as often as not, it's racist rather than cultural" or something along those lines, it is definitely making a general statement. Even census reports are generalities and predictors of tendencies rather than complete facts. I've state repeatedly in this thread and many others that what I assert here are my feelings and opinions as I see them. I am often brutally blunt and am known for occasionally giving certain people all kinds of hell, but I'm also extremely honest and consistent in my opinions.

The other part, anyone who's read many of my posts knows I'm totally nuts about my lady. I don't really see it as defending what I value, as nothing said on some message board is a threat to things I care about. Frankly, I understand why Marvelous feels the way he does after what he's been through. Whether I agree with him on all the issues is another story. I've dealt with enough racism in my life, and formed my own opinions and values based on my beliefs (I think page 10 has a post with some of the crap I went through and witnessed) One of my major points with regards to this whole issue is that while your environment (family, experiences, etc.) plays a huge part in determining your beliefs, the ultimate decision on who you are and who you will be resides solely with you. It is each person's right, ne, responsibility to form their own opinions and build a life as they see fit. And to respect other's right to do the same.
I am not obsessed. I am just very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very focussed...

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Post by Mythrel » Feb 28th, '06, 14:11

I still have yet to see the ''problems'' with it. I am totally on the same page as it goes from person to person. I think you would be ''missing out'' if you rejected someone before you even tried because "It wouldn't work out''. How do you know that? There are white buddists, asians who are christians ect... There is just too much variety from one person to the next that you actually are missing the picture, but I guess thats their ''problem''. I would love a girl from any background as much as the other and I don't see how it would be fair to play favorites. I have noticed a lot of cultures mixing in my city and that puts a smile on my face. If any society can break the stereotype of interracial dating as ''wrong'' North America is the place to be. Love who you want to love.
Im making you aware. That if you dont like me well I dont care. Ill be exactly who I am and if you got a problem with it. Well thats your problem, man.

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Post by ApathyEcstasy » Feb 28th, '06, 14:41

the overall health of our species is in part determined by the genetic diversity of the gene pool...if over 50% of the, let's say spanish, began mixing ONLY with 1 other race (doesn't matter which one but we'll say chinese just for sake of example)...that's when the remaining % need to either stay away from that one race, only mate with other people from their own race, or find a completely different race to crossbreed with (let's say black, for the sake of example)....after all that though, i'd like to comment that the concept of race is contradictory because we're still much more closely related than we are different..the genetic variables that produce the differing characteristics we perceive as "race", are infact, very few and far between

also, since overall, only a tiny % of the population crossbreeds (in comparison to the whole of the population), i'd say that this is a non-issue

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Post by marvelous » Feb 28th, '06, 14:47

Antok your obsessed. :goggle:
술하고 담배 너무조아 :alcoholic:

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Post by aNToK » Feb 28th, '06, 18:04

marvelous wrote:Antok your obsessed. :goggle:
Read my sig. :lol
I am not obsessed. I am just very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very focussed...

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Post by lavenderchan » Mar 1st, '06, 05:15

This reminds me of a quote from william sharespheare from hamlet act 2 scene two:

“What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason! How infinite in faculty! In form and moving how express and admirable! In action how like an angel! In apprehension how like a god! The beauty of the world! The paragon of animals!”

I see reflected in this is my understanding in how the world works and changes around an individual. I feel that interracial dating is not a real problem. Look how society has changed in the last 50 years in the United States. I'm not sure its had on impact on the world as a whole because I never travel out of the US.
My point is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder its up to individual to make something work with or with out the approval of society. Only each person knows what makes them happy or not so live life to the fullest because life is to short to waste. 8)

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Post by pRincEton giRL » Mar 1st, '06, 06:38

hmp. this has been a problem long before...for reasons of racist origin, such as fears of "racial impurity". according to wikipedia, South Africa, Canada, Australia and the United States are but a few countries that have had regulations banning interracial marriage. As of 2005, no countries have laws against miscegenation, but opposition to interracial marriages remains part of the program of parties such as the British National Party, which has frequently been accused of stirring racial hatred, and hate-groups such as the Ku Klux Klan.

in my point of view… there’s nothing wrong with interracial… even so on our generation as of today. new things have changed gradually.. blacks can speak more freely, whites sensed new reticence, and anyone can do it nowadays if he/ she wants to. and who even cares if one likes to have an alien-resemblance partner when he/she wakes up every morning… like in the movie *kingkong* :lol but yeah, nobody even dare to care for whom you are looking by not what you really see but your mind speaks and your heart pumps for it… that you both have just to be together… unmindful of the color of your skin.. the other’s accent as long as we’re not doing anything wrong. Or bein feared and hide yourself in the closet?? Arrg that’s ridiculous nowadays. or likely sayin, hide you profile in order for you to be accepted in the public?? I don’t think it’s just and reasonable not only for us but for every person.

:salut:
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Post by pe3kabo0 » Mar 2nd, '06, 12:14

theres nothing wrong with interracial relationships but i do find it a tad wierd to see interracial couples because even though most people live in a mutli-cultural society nowadays, most people tend to only date their own races. it might possibly be because of prejudiced views from their family that a specific race is rowdy or whatever. there are slight problems with interracial relationships though becuase some parents prefer their children to be dating the same race but if their strong enough to stand up to their parents then why not. its a nice thing i would say.

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Post by Kembang » Mar 2nd, '06, 14:21

[quote=Mythrel]OMG Kembang you look like Kristin Kreuk? Can I ummm get your number? LOLOL kidding. I am actually going to be moving out to go to school in BC in the city where they film smallville errr back to topic heh[/quote]
About the school,wow really?That's so cool!
And about me looking like Kristin Kreuk,well just so you all know..(imo) she is way prettier then me and stuff =P..
But I do have the same hair color,eye color,skin color as she has,and also a typical 'half asian-half cacausian face'..

@pe3kabo0,
That's not always true..because if I'm correct there are also (for example) asian parents that also prefer their children to date caucausians next to asians..or ohwell I do remember that the dad of a friend of mine always asks him wheter he will marry a Chinese girl or a Dutch girl(since he's a Chinese guy living in the Netherlands)..

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Post by Mousie » Mar 2nd, '06, 17:58

Interracial dating = Beautiful Babies <3

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Post by neme_chan » Mar 4th, '06, 01:39

...as I see it, there's absolutely nothing wrong with the mixing of different races of cultures. I'm not saying there couldn't be some hardships, depending on the circumstances...and it's therefore understandable that some people might refrain from it. But I still think being with someone from other race or culture can be wonderful, as long as there is respect and understanding :)

That said, it might be because in my own country (Brazil) the population is really mixed. Virtually everyone you'll meet here will tell you how their family has a bit or a lot of native indian or afro-american or european blood, from all possible regions. Recently, even the Asian imigrants, the most recent ones (about a hundred years) have taken to interracial marriage. That's not to say there aren't some kinds of prejudice... but here, mixing is an undeniable fact.

Actually, if you think of it, isn't mixing a big part of history almost everywhere? It's the history of the Americas, for sure... and also of most cultures, if you look back far enough! :)

(geez, I made such a long post! sorry if it's boring :) )

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Post by Néa Vanille » Mar 4th, '06, 01:41

Don't worry, it's a good post. :-)

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Post by drukes » Mar 4th, '06, 01:51

ah i'm not against this. in fact this can creat cute babies :lol but in my culture as a full-blooded Chinese my parents practiced an arrange marriage. but it so happened that the girl spotted for me was perfectly :thumright:

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Post by Snowblood » Mar 4th, '06, 02:05

I think most of us are ok with the idea of people dating others of different races and nationalities.

Has anyone raised this question though? (I only read pages 1 and 2 then jumped to 13)

Does it make someone racist if they only want to exclusively date someone of a different race? The classic example seems to be a white guy who will only, conciously, date asian women. Usually that stereotype presents the white male as looking at asian women as if they are the cute, weak, feminine, submissive type that is usually projected in western culture (although hopefully that is starting to change). Of course asian women come in all types, from bitchy and mean to cute and shy, just like any others. But, does anyone know if this sort of person actually exists, and is it "bad" racism? Should people who want to date exclusively outside of their own race be considered racist and maybe even feel guilty about their feelings?

This is kind of an interesting issue to me, because I'm a white guy who happens to be attracted to asian women, although I am perfectly attracted to any girl who I would consider attractive, I conciously and purposefully prefer to be with asian girls. I just don't know if I should feel guilty about that or not :S

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Post by Mythrel » Mar 4th, '06, 04:24

I don't think it makes them racist. It just means they have a preferance for a type of women. I find asians to be more attractive to me then my own. Doesn't mean I wouldn't date my own or any other :lol. I don't see why you or anyone else should feel guilty about liking another race lol. I mean stereotypes are exactly that. Of course there are all types of women we are all individuals XD
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Post by neme_chan » Mar 4th, '06, 21:28

Mythrel wrote:I don't think it makes them racist. It just means they have a preferance for a type of women. I find asians to be more attractive to me then my own. Doesn't mean I wouldn't date my own or any other :lol. I don't see why you or anyone else should feel guilty about liking another race lol. I mean stereotypes are exactly that. Of course there are all types of women we are all individuals XD
I also see it as Mythrel says it.. it's only a matter of preference :) We all have all own preferences when it comes to other people - and then eventually we might go against them and just get to like someone that's completely different. So, don't feel guilty! :) This isn't really prejudice.. we just admire asians, in a healthy way :)

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Post by Prince of Moles » Mar 4th, '06, 22:21

neme_chan wrote:
Mythrel wrote:I don't think it makes them racist. It just means they have a preferance for a type of women. I find asians to be more attractive to me then my own. Doesn't mean I wouldn't date my own or any other :lol. I don't see why you or anyone else should feel guilty about liking another race lol. I mean stereotypes are exactly that. Of course there are all types of women we are all individuals XD
I also see it as Mythrel says it.. it's only a matter of preference :) We all have all own preferences when it comes to other people - and then eventually we might go against them and just get to like someone that's completely different. So, don't feel guilty! :) This isn't really prejudice.. we just admire asians, in a healthy way :)
While I perfectly understand this line of reasoning, it does make me a bit uneasy.

Because what that comes down to is: it's ok for a white guy to date exclusively asian girls, but it's not ok for an asian guy to date exclusively asian girls (because if you do, you will be called a racist)...

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Post by Mythrel » Mar 4th, '06, 22:38

I don't see the logic moles. You would be if you went around spouting that all other races were inferior.
Im making you aware. That if you dont like me well I dont care. Ill be exactly who I am and if you got a problem with it. Well thats your problem, man.

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Post by Prince of Moles » Mar 4th, '06, 22:57

Are we reading the same thread?

The moment some brave soul comes out and says "I only want to date/marry someone of my own race," a whole bunch of people pop out and proceed to tell him that he's close minded and then eventually that he's racist.


Just to be absolutely clear, I'm FOR interracial relationships.

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Post by Mythrel » Mar 5th, '06, 00:29

I think it was the way they interpreted his comments. Why would there be a problem with marrying or dating your own race? The logic defys me. They would be close minded in my books if it was because they didn't want to try and make it work. I feel that if you don't put any effort into making that relationship work then you won't put in the proper effort for any relationship to work.
Im making you aware. That if you dont like me well I dont care. Ill be exactly who I am and if you got a problem with it. Well thats your problem, man.

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Post by Snowblood » Mar 5th, '06, 06:14

I actually think that what Moles pointed out is what I was getting at.

I agree that there's a perception that if I came on this board and said "I'm all for interracial dating, but I only date whites" that I would, at best, be considered close-minded and at worst, racist. On the other hand, saying that "I'm all for white girls, but I only date asians" is pretty much the same thing, but the first reaction is that it's not a racist or close-minded position. Logically they are both exactly the same.

Having said that of course, logic doesn't play very well when it comes to love and emotion. There's also societal issues at hand too. What I mean by that, is that in America at least it seems perfectly fine for one to "offend" or criticize their own race, to use derogatory terms around their own race (classic example of course is the african-american embracing of the "n-word", and just by the fact that I'm uncomfortable even spelling it out on a message board, it shows that I, as a white person, really can't throw that term around just because I am not black). So, I think, almost along the same lines that it's "ok" for a white person to openly say that they exclusively date non-whites. I don't know if I can explain it really, it's one of those things that's like "that's just how it is".

I do think that it would be racism to say you only date one race for a specificly racist reason. For example, if I said I only date Japanese girls because they're all so cute and innocent then that'd be a blanket statement that really isn't true at all. To use a non-asian example, to say that you only date Braziallian women because of their legendary sexuality (which of course is just a manufactured image, but even Brazillians promote that image through Carnivale and such). I think things like this might be racist, but as I think of it maybe just ignorant?

Another idea that pops into ones head when thinking of this is, is race any different of a preference as nose size, hair style, body type, etc? Is preference of race as "ok" as preference of body type? I think so, if it's free from the ignorance/stereotyping that I just talked about.

Interesting to think about, at the very least.

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Post by neme_chan » Mar 5th, '06, 13:16

Snowblood wrote:I actually think that what Moles pointed out is what I was getting at.

I agree that there's a perception that if I came on this board and said "I'm all for interracial dating, but I only date whites" that I would, at best, be considered close-minded and at worst, racist. On the other hand, saying that "I'm all for white girls, but I only date asians" is pretty much the same thing, but the first reaction is that it's not a racist or close-minded position. Logically they are both exactly the same.

Having said that of course, logic doesn't play very well when it comes to love and emotion. There's also societal issues at hand too. What I mean by that, is that in America at least it seems perfectly fine for one to "offend" or criticize their own race, to use derogatory terms around their own race (classic example of course is the african-american embracing of the "n-word", and just by the fact that I'm uncomfortable even spelling it out on a message board, it shows that I, as a white person, really can't throw that term around just because I am not black). So, I think, almost along the same lines that it's "ok" for a white person to openly say that they exclusively date non-whites. I don't know if I can explain it really, it's one of those things that's like "that's just how it is".

I do think that it would be racism to say you only date one race for a specificly racist reason. For example, if I said I only date Japanese girls because they're all so cute and innocent then that'd be a blanket statement that really isn't true at all. To use a non-asian example, to say that you only date Braziallian women because of their legendary sexuality (which of course is just a manufactured image, but even Brazillians promote that image through Carnivale and such). I think things like this might be racist, but as I think of it maybe just ignorant?

Another idea that pops into ones head when thinking of this is, is race any different of a preference as nose size, hair style, body type, etc? Is preference of race as "ok" as preference of body type? I think so, if it's free from the ignorance/stereotyping that I just talked about.

Interesting to think about, at the very least.
Interesting indeed. It turns out that the notion of what is and what is not prejudice isn't easily defined, as in the examples you gave. I'd like to stick to the idea that a preference of race is ok if it's free from stereotyping or ignorance, as you said...but in each case, a preference being or not being racism will depend on the eye of the looker. I can go go a thread here and say I like Asian guys, and girls from many other places will say they agree. But suppose I say it in my own country, and people will look at me weirdly, seeing how asians males are mostly looked down at in local culture.

Your other example is pretty good, too. I find out that many Brazilian girls, as myself, are bothered by the way people see them when they go abroad. Those hundred girls in Carnival sure make up the stereotype for all 95 millions of us -_- On the other hand, some people I know well are free of that specific prejudice, but have some other kinds; like some of my fellow students of Japanese and their ideas of asian girls being all cute and meek.

All in all, we could conclude that a thread in an Asian culture-oriented forum might not be "neutral" enough for a discussion like this. But I tend to think maybe there just isn't a completely neutral environment, and everywhere there is people involved, you might have a variety of opinions and cultural issues and kinds of prejudice coming together.

Still, that doesn't mean we shouldn't aim for being as fair and open-minded as possible in this thread, even while respecting others' views. Nor should we think the discussion itself is pointless - on the contrary, I think it's really good that we can expose our opinions and think on these matters like this :)

..and now I really should go and read all the pages in the thread, since I first posted having read only two of them :D

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Post by littlemonkey_3000 » Mar 8th, '06, 23:22

I have nothing againest interracial dating, But some people in this world still do. Like My parents for ex. They do want me to date African American. I on the other hand have no problem with it as long as i like the guy. I think that Its shouldnt be a problem because I think that 2 people of different race have beauitful babies. This is going to sound wrong but my cousin he is American/Chinese/Vietnamese and his is cute. he is like the most good looking person in my family. Beside me of course :lol Just joking

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Post by Deedlith » Mar 11th, '06, 05:46

I should read all the post before giving an answer^^
I am a product of two mixed parent but the two of them, they don't really mind whether my boyfriend is black, yellow or even green as long as he's muslim...
You see the problem, it's not really a matter of color but cultures and the way we live, there's a lot of mixed couple in my family to tell you the truth, but though they love each other often the barrier of language and culture is posed.
Black tend to be at ease wherever they are because they were born in France and still keeping their own culture lived the way other French coming from older generations did... But for the last it's more complicated when they try to go simply to a party, the way we dance, the language we talk, sometime it's schoking for them, though they know it's like this and try to accept it in the end... They just skip the family parties and only attend theirs... It's a bit sad but i see it everyday...
I'm not against interratial dating, because i'm at ease everywhere but when dating someone, you have to make sure he's not gonna feel like he's on another planet when he enters your family...

PS: Sorry 40°C, i'm totally feverish, too tired to think of making beautiful english sentences...

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Post by bakan3ko » Mar 11th, '06, 06:08

i agree interracial marriages/dating free of prejudice and ignorance is fine. If you really love that person for that person regardless of their skin and features that is perfectly fine. but, when it comes down to I like asian girls/guys because i prefer them. why dont you prefer others races? and, what does that mean? it seems that people are more in love with the opposite's racial qualities/mannerisms than who they really are. and, that is i dont know what that is... true preference doesnt make you a conventional racist, but if you are selecting based on racial qualities even at the subconcious level that is pretty much text book racism

i know many of you do not live in america. i mean really live here. but, that goes around a lot. this is a catch-22 affair...

and, note, i am for racial marriages/dating on the precept that it is free of racial profiling and ignorance...

cute babies should not be an argument for interracial dating... :D

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Post by greenwing » Mar 11th, '06, 06:23

i was in an interracial relationship once. the girl was beautiful. she was also kinda nuts. but we actually broke up cuz both of our parents would not accep the relationship.

i found out she was nuts later. good thing i got out of that relationship. but would i do it again? i'm not sure. it's a difficult thing to deal with when your parents won't accept it. i have three cousins who are mixed and they have a bit of an identity crisis. at the same time though, i don't believe it's wrong.

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Post by Aquilo » Mar 14th, '06, 16:43

Well I guess the point is Each to their own
This thread after all is asking what is your preference, it is not asking which is right and which is wrong, to be honest I don't think there even is a right or a wrong in these type of issue. Some people like people of their own race, others do not, its not only a physical difference but there is also cultural differences some are willing to try something new others are comfortable with their own. I'm Azn(Hongkong XD well Canadian now but meh) and I have no problem with interrace mixing I've dated both white girls and azn girls and almost dated a India too, (hmm didn't work out) but ya I don't really see the problem with interracial relationships. Yet I have to admit it would be a pretty boring world if EVERYONE intermarry till there is only 1 mixed race diversity is a good thing too. So in the end after typing this long thing, my first sentence still sums it up its all about what's your preference, well what turns YOU on. Everyone is different but hey its a big world^^.

(lol just wondering since this is after all an azn oriented forum sorta how often do you see a white guy in a jdrama?, and have anyone watched yellow fever on you tube?
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIIoc8R26iM[/url]
it talks about how there is alot more whitedude/azngal compared to whitegal/azndude 10/1 sorta XD its really funny you should watch it)

Wow, that was long, sorry^^

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Post by Kumaxell » Mar 17th, '06, 18:33

I think it's a good idea. Why limit oneself to one pool of candidates when you are searching for your soul mate?
But when it's time to "meet the parents" (yours or the other person's), it could be one of the most awkward situation you'll ever be in. You try to be polite, but it feels like there is a gulf between you and them. You try to be friendly, but it feels like you are invading their territory. You really don't know where to step and what to say so that you would not inadvertantly offend them with your culture faux pas. But then again, it happens to all of us wether it's interracial or not.

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Post by Yukiko_Chan » Mar 17th, '06, 19:48

I think that interracial dating is very good. Interracial couples usually have beautiful children. Some people are so afraid of dating someone of a different race because they're afraid of what people might think of them. Shoo. If I met someone that was of a different race, I wouldn't give a s*** about what others think and say. As long as everything was good. :lol
~*Yukik^o^_Chan*~

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Post by intercar » Mar 23rd, '06, 14:41

How come i rarely see white male/black female couples? just curious. you would think since there is such a long history between the two... In the past when black females were slaves there was a lot of illicit relationships but in the modern age white men seem to avoid black women. what's going on? If indeed we're living in a time where peoplr are so liberal and free thinking about IR relationships why is such a large segment of the american population, namely black females completely ignored?

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Post by Prince of Moles » Mar 23rd, '06, 15:08

Go to the US census website if you want to know the details on US couples.

www.census.gov/population/socdemo/race/interractab1.txt

PS
As of 1980 your impression is correct. White males are much more likely to marry Asian females 129,000 or American Indian females124,000 than Black females 27,000 in the US.
There were a total of 121,000 Black/White couples making Black male/White female couples the vast majority in those couples.
The 245,000 American Indian/White couples were even.
And the 181,000 Asian/White couples had a vast majority of them being White male/Asian female couples, the reverse of Black/White couples.

This probably bolsters the stereotypes of the hyper masculine Black male and the emasculated Asian male in the US.

Anyway, while I think the incidence of interracial marriages has gone up, I don't see why the ratios would have changed much (but this is conjecture).

Interracial marriages were still very rare in 1980, only 2% of total marriages. It might be up to 5%, might be...

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Post by FelyxSZ » Mar 23rd, '06, 15:32

....
Last edited by FelyxSZ on Nov 26th, '06, 07:14, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by intercar » Mar 23rd, '06, 16:49

FelyxSZ wrote:I myself am korean/african-american and honestly i dont see the point of this thread. Why do you care who others date? Its not you and if they are someone close to you shouldnt you be fine with it as long as they are happy? Oh and in all of my life (20yrs) I've never met another asian/african-american.

well i've had asian women come to me and tell me that they think asian men are too conservative and that white guys were more open minded. i think the figures on white male/black female couples shows that this is absurd. anyway, why don't you want to talk about this? no one is saying it's not "fine" to date another group of people. i say to asian women date whomever you want just don't cover yourself under the mantle of dating for an open minded person. it's just nonsense.

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Post by Kamui6 » Mar 23rd, '06, 17:25

intercar wrote:How come i rarely see white male/black female couples? just curious. you would think since there is such a long history between the two... In the past when black females were slaves there was a lot of illicit relationships but in the modern age white men seem to avoid black women. what's going on? If indeed we're living in a time where peoplr are so liberal and free thinking about IR relationships why is such a large segment of the american population, namely black females completely ignored?
Not sure how to address that one...
:scratch: I wonder if most of those white men raping their slaves where Older men who like to dominate. How could one even thing to compare black women being raped back then as an attraction. [Doesn't really sit right in my head]

I usually date a person on how well we get along, but since i am kind of a carmel, i get mistaken as different nationalities. Then their's the fact that my mother is even lighter than me, some ppl thing i am mixed, white/black. It's fun correcting ppl. There are soo many sterotypes people go on before they even get to know a person for who they are and not their appearance.

I wonder which type of black women, men of a different race are more attracted to. Most of the time it appears to be the lighter types. You wouldn't be surprised that even among black ppl, they discriminate when it comes to certain shades. Well my friend says she won't date a man lighter than her, and their are others who won't date a man that's darker than a certain shade. [God it must be fun picking dates.]
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Post by FelyxSZ » Mar 23rd, '06, 18:46

......
Last edited by FelyxSZ on Nov 26th, '06, 07:13, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by intercar » Mar 23rd, '06, 20:54

i'd go even further and say usually even if you're related you don't have a say in who they marry. i think you're missing the point of this thread or at least my point. I'm posting about the attitudes and beliefs of people who intermarry and not about whether it's right or wrong. certainly it's worth discussing why there are relatively fewer white male/black female relationships.

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Post by sylpha » Mar 24th, '06, 00:02

hmm... i dunno...my fiancee is from morocco and i am from poland...i think that would count eh? well...at least in my opinion such relationships can be much more exciting and interesting than let´s say the "standard ones"...but they also cause more trouble...people in germany always watch us ...either they think he just wants to take advantage of me or it´s really a taboo...i am not sure... and also there are many cultural differences which cause problems as well (he´s a muslim i am roman catholic....that doesn´t help a lot either)...but i always felt as long as you love each other you can overcome all this... it might be hard but worth it if it´s the right person you´re with ^-^ it´s really not easy though :lol

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Post by OvertheRainbow » Mar 24th, '06, 00:05

FelyxSZ wrote:I myself am korean/african-american and honestly i dont see the point of this thread. Why do you care who others date? Its not you and if they are someone close to you shouldnt you be fine with it as long as they are happy? Oh and in all of my life (20yrs) I've never met another asian/african-american.
You've never met an asian/black combo? My friend is Vietnamese/black and so are her brother and sisters :P
Last edited by OvertheRainbow on Mar 24th, '06, 00:07, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by OvertheRainbow » Mar 24th, '06, 00:07

intercar wrote:How come i rarely see white male/black female couples? just curious. you would think since there is such a long history between the two... In the past when black females were slaves there was a lot of illicit relationships but in the modern age white men seem to avoid black women. what's going on? If indeed we're living in a time where peoplr are so liberal and free thinking about IR relationships why is such a large segment of the american population, namely black females completely ignored?
I've seen some around where I used to live. My friend is black/white

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Post by Prince of Moles » Mar 24th, '06, 05:14

Well if you want a simple and brutal answer, here it is. In general White males are still racist and are not willing to marry someone "below" their race.

For whatever cultural reason, American Indian females and Asian females, (probably mostly for racist skin tone reasons, particularly of their off spring) have been deemed acceptable by White males.

Therefore despite women of all races being willing to marry "up," only the White male/Asian female and White male/American Indian couples abound.

The sad truth is that race, racism, and power relationships among the races do matter in contemporary America.

Now this does not mean that there will be some exceptions to this rule, but overall the above seems to be the logical explanation. :-(


The other sad sexist truth is that society deems who the women marries to be less important than who the men marry. So in this society, ironically, women are freer to decide who they want to marry more than the men. Thus there is less societal pressure to stop women from engaging in interracial marriages.


When you combine the racist and sexist attitudes that existed and probably continues to exist, you get the census data result. (Interracial marriages in 1980 are only 2% with all the skewed demographics, etc etc.) Wow it's a really shitty world we live in ...

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Post by halfchineseguy » Mar 24th, '06, 12:56

being a interracial kid sucks because everyon thinks your either 1 white or 2 asian never both and when people say that the hapa kids are beautiful how come peoplerather date a full blooded asian or white person?

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Post by bakan3ko » Mar 24th, '06, 13:23

I agree with Moles. I mean it isnt a undisputed universal law, but it is a societal and sadly almost a cultural norm. I am all for love and whatnot, but not everything is as sugar coated as we think... :cry:

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Post by albertoavena » Mar 24th, '06, 19:14

halfchineseguy wrote:being a interracial kid sucks because everyon thinks your either 1 white or 2 asian never both and when people say that the hapa kids are beautiful how come peoplerather date a full blooded asian or white person?
You know, this kind of discourages me of marrying someone from a different race. Lets say I move to Japan, hypothetically speaking, and I marry a Japanese women, but I remain living in Japan. Being as it may, I may want to start a family and have children, how will those children be treated? Will someone want to marry them living in Japan? These kinds of things keep me up at night... :unsure:
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Post by Mythrel » Mar 24th, '06, 19:47

Prince of Moles wrote:Well if you want a simple and brutal answer, here it is. In general White males are still racist and are not willing to marry someone "below" their race.

For whatever cultural reason, American Indian females and Asian females, (probably mostly for racist skin tone reasons, particularly of their off spring) have been deemed acceptable by White males.

Therefore despite women of all races being willing to marry "up," only the White male/Asian female and White male/American Indian couples abound.

The sad truth is that race, racism, and power relationships among the races do matter in contemporary America.

Now this does not mean that there will be some exceptions to this rule, but overall the above seems to be the logical explanation. :-(


The other sad sexist truth is that society deems who the women marries to be less important than who the men marry. So in this society, ironically, women are freer to decide who they want to marry more than the men. Thus there is less societal pressure to stop women from engaging in interracial marriages.


When you combine the racist and sexist attitudes that existed and probably continues to exist, you get the census data result. (Interracial marriages in 1980 are only 2% with all the skewed demographics, etc etc.) Wow it's a really shitty world we live in ...
:O white men won't marry darker skin?!?! So it only happens because they were forced? or you are seriously suggesting its the norm? *cough*bullshit*cough*... wow.. I am actually offended. You can add this to your next cencus data that this white guy disagrees with all that bullshit..
Im making you aware. That if you dont like me well I dont care. Ill be exactly who I am and if you got a problem with it. Well thats your problem, man.

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Post by Prince of Moles » Mar 24th, '06, 19:52

So what's your explanation for the census data?

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Post by Mythrel » Mar 24th, '06, 20:06

.... My explanation is thats just who got married to who. You really think that its because white men are racist? There are racist people everywhere. I think its stereotypical to believe that this is the case. I don't judge someone by there skin tone and most certainally would never discredit a women for marriage because she had a ''darker skintone'' and yes none of my friends have ever said that (infact one wants to marry a nubian queen XD). I do have an uncle that has said some racist things so im not saying that some white people are not racist I just doubt your theory.
Im making you aware. That if you dont like me well I dont care. Ill be exactly who I am and if you got a problem with it. Well thats your problem, man.

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