SINGLES RANTING THREAD (Dating Advice)

The real life drama forum. Discuss your relationships or get to know the other members here.
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peng2
Posts: 26
Joined: Jun 29th, '07, 05:22

Post by peng2 » Sep 8th, '07, 02:57

I broke up with my bf of 2 years yesterday. I'm so blue.

We parted on good terms and will remain friends and all, but it feels like something is missing you know? :cry:

I really saw a future with him, but we're both young (I'm 23, he's 25) with big dreams and dream jobs leading us to different continents. If you were in my situation, what would you have done? Chase after a once-in-a-lifetime career opportunity or stay put and settle down with someone you really love?

I know I'm too young and ambitious to want to settle down now. I am going for my career with no regrets. I need to see the world and experience a lot more.

I just wish it were like the dramas where if it were meant to be with fate, then we'll end up together somehow in the end. Maybe I can still dream... :wub:

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ouss
Posts: 39
Joined: Jan 14th, '07, 21:42
Location: Montreal

Post by ouss » Sep 11th, '07, 02:42

peng2 if u had no regrets of choosing ur career over ur bf, u wouldnt post here at first.
u already made ur choice : u prefered a successful professional life than a succesful relationship/love/life with ur bf.

btw this situation seems similar to a jdrama "kimi wa petto", havent seen it? watch it! :-)

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Dreamfall
Posts: 171
Joined: Jan 5th, '07, 15:16
Location: Serbia

Post by Dreamfall » Sep 11th, '07, 22:12

Heh :sweat: I have new problem...I did what I belived I couldn't.I've met one guy (21) at birthday partty of my friend.Now he's my bf even I thougt it would be my first dating (for only one evening).I think I'm not in love but I do think of him sometimes when we're not together.I think it should be only in case I really love him. But we don't have much in common exept we both think simple and we do easy get along with one another.Should I dump him because of it or continue relationship just because i enjoy to be loved?

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DMPA
Posts: 272
Joined: Nov 18th, '06, 23:26
Location: In a place called Death

Post by DMPA » Sep 11th, '07, 22:38

hm...i would suggest to continue...it's not bad to experience after all ne!
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Li.Li
Posts: 10
Joined: Jun 1st, '07, 07:18

Post by Li.Li » Sep 11th, '07, 22:50

Peng2:

There are many things in life we need to be selfish for...and one of those things is our dreams...i think you made the right decision...
...you both have your ambitions...and not everyone gets granted opportunities to fulfill those ambitions...i understand that its hard to choose one or the other...but if its like you say...a once in a lifetime chance for both your careers,,,
If you think of it logically...if he has a chance out there that might not come along again...you would want him to take it...and im sure the feeling goes vice versa as well...or else you both will live with a regret in your lives...
...the thing is...i still believe in if its meant to be...it will happen...
think of this parting as a chance for you both to grow apart from eachother...so you can find out more about yourself...and what you want in your life to make it a life of no regrets...
but of course parting with the one you love is hurtful...its sometimes for the better...im sure you both dont want to stand in eachothers way of fulfilling a goal you both are ambitious for right?
give it some time...
hopefully all works out for the best =)
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Yorokobi
Posts: 1199
Joined: Nov 4th, '05, 18:53
Location: New Zealand (well actually Japan right now! YAY!)

Post by Yorokobi » Sep 24th, '07, 03:25

@peng2
I think you made the right decision. Getting a once n a lifetime career opourtunity and getting to go out and explore the world is truley something one must take advantage of.
Even though now you may still feel unsure, and still feel the need for your boyfriend I (because im a crazy romantic despite hating the idea of love) believe that if he is truley the right one for you then you may be ble to meet up again later on in your life when you have both had life experiences and grown as people and if he was not the one for you then going out into the world gives you a chance to move on and maybe even find someone new.

@Dreamfall
I think you should continue to go out with him for a while to see if you discover stronger feeling then you thought you had but if you remain feeling almost as if you are just friends id break it off. Give yourself time to discover your feelings but dont let it drag on too long.
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IndieRockerette
Posts: 154
Joined: Jan 5th, '07, 04:52

Post by IndieRockerette » Oct 7th, '07, 09:39

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and half, but lately I feel like he's moving our relationship way too fast by wanting me to move in with him. This summer we lived together for two months in our beach house. That was really fun and great but I feel that moving in together permanently is just too big of a step to take. I also think that once we live together, he might ask me to marry him - something I don't plan on doing until I have a successful career (I'm only 19 and marriage is not going to be something I look forward to for a long time).

There's no question that I love him, but lately our relationship has been strained. I'm going back to school again and I'm having so much fun with my friends. We don't spend that much time together anymore, and I think that him wanting me to move in with him might be his way of wanting us to stay together permanently. This is my second year at my school but I'm going to transfer to UCBerkeley for fall of next year (I live in Irvine, Southern California, and Berkeley is all the way up in Northern California). So this decision of mine ultimately puts a time limit on our relationship (not that I'm sure we're going to break up because of that, but long distance relationships are too hard).

I love him, but maybe it's time to consider being single and living my life by experiencing everything I can without feeling restrained. But we've been through so much together and the thought of not being with him really kills me. Part of me really wants to enjoy this college life and have the freedom to do what I want and live life, and part of me wants to be with the person I love.

Sorry, long rant. Today was a tough day so I had to vent :P

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pwner4once
Posts: 465
Joined: Sep 6th, '05, 01:49
Location: Unite States
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Post by pwner4once » Oct 10th, '07, 16:54

regarding above post, I am sorry to hear that you are in such conflicting situation right now but I don't see if there can be any negative side to either of our final outcomes. If you think your boyfriend is moving too fast for you, you should definitely give him a red flag and let him know since boys/men can be oblivious at times. For your other college decision, i think it can be a blast for you too. I am about 1 and a half month into college and i definitely think it can be interesting depending on you and yes it's only going to be effect by your own actions. At least for me, only a few people came up and wanted to make friends. however i found many valuable friends by simply going to various club. it is hard for me to speak up since im not an outgiong person but it is worse trying than not.

i hope you will reach a decision that you will be happy with

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