SINGLES RANTING THREAD (Dating Advice)

The real life drama forum. Discuss your relationships or get to know the other members here.
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pwner4once
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Post by pwner4once » Aug 13th, '06, 14:12

lol how come i just met random people everyday. the mall idea might be fun yet it'll probably turn into some disasterous. anyhow i just met this guy as in saw this guy. he came to the pool i worked at yesterday and was all trying to get some from girls. lol he started talking about all these "signs" about how she wants him such as her gesture and etc... i thought it was just crazy.

anyhow my point is do u guys think it's normal to take some1 is "gesture" such as how she sits on the bus as a point of love? :unsure:

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Post by owaranai » Aug 20th, '06, 02:19

Hi,
first post. Just felt the need to write something, but didn't know where. That's why I'm here. Or I might have watched DENSHA OTOKO once too often.

Last year I got to know a girl that I didn't really feel attracted to at first. But after some time I discovered that I kind of enjoyed hanging out with her. Well, we got to know each other better and then met regularly talking about various things. It just felt like hanging out with my regular friends (guys). We would often watch movies (or animes) together, and do other things together (bbq, drinking, shopping, etc.). I would stay at her place till dawn watching TV talking about various things, or she would stay over at my place. All this time I never felt attracted to her. I never once thought that I wanted to go out with her or anything. As I said, I considered her as one of my buddies.

Has she been interested in me? I don't know. Might have been the case. But then, I probably never showed any reaction. As I said, after the first encounters I would have never expected us to became so close. Whenever she went somewhere, she would buy souvenirs for me. She found a poster that I had been looking for since last year! (and I never asked her to buy anything for me) She asked me to go on a trip with her together twice but I declined.(I didn't have the means to go, but it could have also meant "I don't care about you")
Whatever, all this doesn't matter because I'm now probably in the best friend category.

Last month (or the month before), after she left my place after a videosession, I just thought that I suddenly felt alone, wished that she would stay longer to talk with me or just be there. Weird when you're surprised about your own emotions.

Well, I still don't know what I want. She was busy, so we didn't see each other as often as before. She went on a trip and asked me to come with her. Looking back I thought it might have been better if I had went with her on the trip she offered before. A chance to get to know her better and maybe get some order into my life and emotions.

So by the time she told me that she will go there again (for the third time by now), I decided to visit her there (she was going to stay for 6 weeks). You're always hearing about chances that you're missing in life. My 'no's might have been on such occassion. So I was ready to leave. She told me that she would have a place for me to stay.

It turned out to be the appartment of her boyfriend, whom she met on her trip. I have yet to see him cause he's on holiday somewhere. We spent the days like we would usually do although sightseeing takes much more time than anything else. We have more time to talk and still feel comfortable hanging around with her (maybe even more, because we're together when we're not asleep). And I'm definitely in the best friends category. She told me that she has only two people she considers her friends (me and another woman) :O Great.

I don't even know why I'm writing this post. She seems to be in love with this guy, even though she's not sure if or how much he loves her. She says she wants to do better than in her last relationship.
Tells me things that I'm not sure if she would tell other people (past relationships, things she did that one definitely doesn't want the public to know), tries to find me a girlfriend (that's whole other story), writes postcards to my friends and she was also looking for a birthday present for my mother.

Damn, I'm writing too much. All this is going on, while I'm still thinking about the things I want to do. I wanted to tell her what I was thinking and feeling, but this doesn't look like the appropriate place or time to tell her such things. Should I just keep everything to myself and forget about it and continue our life just like before? Tell her what I feel and then just act as if nothing has happened? Simply hope that nothing will change or things will simply change?
And we'll pick up her boyfriend soon from the station when he's back. "Hi, thanks for the apartment. I really enoyed staying there for a week with your girlfriend."

Maybe I'm just too tired and need some sleep. I don't understand why I'm writing all this. I just suddenly felt the urge to write something.

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Post by Mythrel » Aug 20th, '06, 02:40

Welcome owaranai,

You can't help what your heart does. I wouldn't read into the past so much and focus on the present. All the what ifs and could've statements don't help you move on with your life. I don't think its the appropiate time to let her know your true feelings though, it'd be way to awkward of a moment. I'm suprised with everything she tells you she neglected to mention a boyfriend though that's strange. Unless you mean she met him like on this trip but even then thats pretty damn strange that you'd be in his apt. The boat has already sailed on this one and if you want to wait around oneday for the situation to simply change you can. The only problem is when you are placed in the just a friend catagory its almost impossible to change that fate. If you can spend time with her and be like it always has and not feel jealous or anything then good go with it. If you cherish her as a friend and all the things you guys do then love her that way by being a great friend. Who knows what the future holds, so good luck with whatever comes out of it. I just feel that at this time spilling your guts at this moment would be a bad move.
Im making you aware. That if you dont like me well I dont care. Ill be exactly who I am and if you got a problem with it. Well thats your problem, man.

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Post by owaranai » Aug 20th, '06, 07:07

Thanks for your reply.
I just woke up and I have to agree with what you wrote. No more doubts. When I woke up I saw her sitting in front of the laptop writing emails. The first thing she does every morning is checking her emails, to see if he wrote her. She never really used the internet before, but now she's writing emails everyday, chatting on skype, visiting online message boards to get in touch with him. She's trying to move on in her life and she seems to be very happy right now. I'm glad that he can make her happy. She had a hard life and little to be happy about. "I want to be happy" is something she told me a few times, depending on other people without a clear direction. Now she's saying "I am who I am and I am the one who's responsible for my life. I can't wait passively for things to happen."

Well said, I could learn a few things. She had always lacked direction since I knew her. Like a lot of people out there I guess (me included). She has dreams, but she had doubts and didn't really know what to do. Other people always seem to be better. I always thought of her as someone special with talent, not one of the shallow people I've met too often. So I often saw myself as someone to motivate, to help and to protect her. Things have changed very fast. And I actually feel motivated to more things myself. I spent the past few days making plans and I decided to give a few projects the 'go' signal that had been planned for a long time (things like learning a foreign language or the relaunch of an old website or getting in touch with old friends)

I don't know what the future will bring. The future has yet to come and the past is something that I cannot change. I don't want to regret anything anymore. I may feel depressed at times (like five hours ago), but besides I usually don't have any negative feelings. I don't feel any jealousy thinking about her boyfriend. All the negative feelings were directed at me :crazy:

Actually I'm curious to meet him. I hope that they can be happy together.

It feels great to write things down like this. It feels like talking to someone who's listening to you. But it's actually just me talking to myself. And in the end things look so clear, I wonder why I ever felt the way I felt. Things always look so simple from the outside. But if you're inside, you can't even grasp what's around you.

Thanks for reading and commenting on my post. And thanks for this thread.

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Post by owaranai » Aug 20th, '06, 07:39

Mythrel wrote:I'm suprised with everything she tells you she neglected to mention a boyfriend though that's strange.
Oh, she mentioned him before. Quite often. I just failed to realize the most obvious thing.

She met him on the first trip. And they had been writing emails since then. I saw some of the emails. And I had to explain to her how to meet him on the second trip (meeting him was no the purpose of the trip, but it was something she wanted to do because he was a nice guy). Oh, and she also asked me to join her on the second trip.

So, I can't say that I didn't know anything. She just never called him boyfriend and I didn't expect to end up at his appartment. Reaon is because she's not sure how things will work out.("I wonder ifhe really likes me?")

Okay, that's it.

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Post by Mythrel » Aug 20th, '06, 08:40

No problem at all, I know what its like to have a million things to say and no one to say it to. It must have been expecially hard to want to let your friend know how you really felt when you couldn't confide in her. There is a great community on D-addicts and its a great place to vent your woes and worries. Its great she is happy about her situation and where she is. Its also good you can find joy in her finding herself, that's a true friend. We don't always see the path clearly as others might, but I'm sure you'll find your way eventually.It's good you are being motivated on changing aspects of your life. It truely is a great feeling.I wouldn't be out west in school for my dream job as a video game programmer if it wasn't for my best friend giving me that motivation to do something better with my life. Some of us need that little nudge.

I hope the best for ya and its good you don't feel any jealousy or negative feelings towards the situation because really it was already out of your hands. I hope everything goes well and you guys enjoy the trip and make some more memories. Friends are not always forever, but the time you share with friends will stay with you forever. Keep your head up, you are able to deal with the situation better then some people. I know I'd have an issue with jealousy lol. Good luck with whatever the future may hold and if you ever need to vent, this thread is the perfect place to do it.

Ja ne :salut:
Im making you aware. That if you dont like me well I dont care. Ill be exactly who I am and if you got a problem with it. Well thats your problem, man.

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Post by owaranai » Aug 20th, '06, 23:47

Yeah, to have a million things to say and no one to say it to can be very hard. And I'm not sure if I take the situation as good as I thought I would. I felt great after I wrote the email this morning. I must have been a little moody the past few days, though it's not something extraordinary. I tend to laugh a lot when I feel depressed or I just keep silent. But I'm rather quick-witted when it comes to words, and I don't lose this ability even when I'm walking around braindead.
Today was different, I was in high spirits, no need to act. I was my ordinary self. Until she left to pick up her boyfriend and I decided to do a sightseeing tour by myself. I literally felt a house tumbling down. Add to that the Yuki song "dramatic" that I had on my mp3-player and you have a scene out of a drama.

I have probably seen too many dramas or animes, but I really felt like a hero who has hit rock bottom. Walking across a church I saw a guy selling some figures that she likes. While I was thinking about buying one for her (she often buys me little presents, so it's nothing extraordinary) it began to rain. And the rain came down in sheets. I spent 7 hours walking around the city in that condition. I had to do something to come down, to feel whole again, but I didn't know what to do. I was a foreigner at a foreign place, not knowing anybody or anything in this town. Eventually the long walk (where I often spontaenously decided to run uphill/stairs when I saw some) wore me off and the music hold me together, brought me peace of mind.

I'm actually glad that I'll be back home soon. I will have the time to get over everything. I don't want to know what it would feel like to stay here for another two weeks or so. I met her boyfriend and after five seconds I thought "I don't like him". Sorry to disappoint you, Mythrelv. I may have a problem with jealousy. My impression got better over time, but I still think that he's in the "I don' t like him" category in my head. Hm, difficult. I have no problems with acting normal around her (or I just ended up being too nice and funny today, hard to judge yourself). He on the other hand, ah, I should just go to bed. I hardly even know him. I hope that for once my intuition had decided to abandon me (felt as if he was a womanizer)

I'm looking forward to the bed in my own room at home. And the friends I have at home. In times like these you're glad that you have friends that you can talk to. Doesn't help lying around here trying to sleep while they're talking in the room next to you.

Will go home, mourn for a day and then move on with my life. There are a lot of things for me to do. You will probably see me on this thread for awhile before I can finally graduate. (hey, I could watch Densha Otoko another time!)

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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Aug 21st, '06, 00:56

watch joou no kyoushitsu instead.

to mythrel: Just curious, why all of a sudden with the game programmer decision? It's a very hard job, the programming is much more difficult than that of many other programming jobs.

Good luck with it. My recommendation is learning Ruby on the side. It's very popular in Japan and becoming more and more popular here. Unfortunately many programming professors are old and out of touch with the modern world and don't teach the newer more popular languages.

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Post by Mythrel » Aug 21st, '06, 01:20

That sucks owaranai. I was in somewhat of a simular situation. I liked it when she would come to me telling me how much of an **** he was to her. I stopped talking to her after a while because I couldn't deal with it anymore. I dunno what she is doing with her life now last I heard of her, they were getting married LOL. This thread needs some livelyness to it lol. I still wanna know whatever happened to lionheart. He pulled a korean drama on us. Good luck with the next few days I'm sure you'll be fine. You and your friends will have to just go out and be stupid crazy lol. Go see snakes on a plane the atomosphere in the theater when I went was fricking awsome. There was only one person in the whole theater who was a spoil sport and he sat in front of me. Everyone else that was there was there for a good time. The group of people I was with were drinkin and yelling snakes in random parts lol it was good times.

Ya kotaeshiranaihito I have been wanting to do this for years really. I have just put off going for the last 3 years of my life. It is a lot of work and I hardly have time for anything anymore lol. The workload is only going to get worse as it progresses. Unfortuantly they are only teaching us C++ at the moment. I think later on they will introduce other languages, but for now they want to teach us this one first. Its not bad its all the math that is the worst with 3d line intercepts and such.
Im making you aware. That if you dont like me well I dont care. Ill be exactly who I am and if you got a problem with it. Well thats your problem, man.

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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Aug 21st, '06, 01:29

ya old professors usually stick with C and C++, which sucks and isn't that useful anymore. OOP is what they should be concentrating on. Definitely learn Ruby. It's very popular in Japan, It's pure OOP so it will give you the experience that the older programming languages don't.

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Post by pwner4once » Aug 23rd, '06, 01:01

haha I am glad that owaranai has joined this thread. as for myself, i thought he is going to say something that I felt exactly like before school started. but anyhow it's almost identical. for me as a conclusion of my mishaps, i just want to say cherish every moment of happyness and catch the ride.

about programming, i think java will have a great future since it's more OS friendly. I took java last year and im looking forward to pick it up this year. maybe get a 1st place in distrction competition or smth :D

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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Aug 23rd, '06, 13:39

pwner4once wrote:haha I am glad that owaranai has joined this thread. as for myself, i thought he is going to say something that I felt exactly like before school started. but anyhow it's almost identical. for me as a conclusion of my mishaps, i just want to say cherish every moment of happyness and catch the ride.

about programming, i think java will have a great future since it's more OS friendly. I took java last year and im looking forward to pick it up this year. maybe get a 1st place in distrction competition or smth :D
Java is something you have to devote special time for. There are just too many things to learn now a days for it. Swing, hybernate, struts the list goes on and on and gets bigger everyday. not to mention the fact that some of Java's naming conventions suck.

Ruby however is definitely something you can learn in your spare time. It was designed to be programmer friendly with good naming conventions, choices among which scripts to use, and a very good interface. The Ruby interface that you can download lets you test code immediately without compiling and gives definitions and examples of the different methods used.

Not saying Java isn't important, it is very VERY important, just that it's not something that can be learned in ones spare time. Plus, if you learn ruby (which is an OOP language like Java) you will have a much easier time with other OOP languages like Java, C#, and the less popular ones.

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Post by eye » Aug 23rd, '06, 14:09

kotaeshiranaihito wrote:ya old professors usually stick with C and C++, which sucks and isn't that useful anymore. OOP is what they should be concentrating on.
C++ is OOP. :P
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bugsie
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Post by bugsie » Aug 23rd, '06, 14:25

eye wrote: C++ is OOP. :P
Indeed :P

Anyway, learning C and C++ isn't a bad thing, those languages are good foundations for anyone who is interested in learning different programming languages.
Confused? Go FAQ yourself!








Last edited by bugsie on Thu Jun 18, 2006 12:00 am; edited 998 times in total

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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Aug 23rd, '06, 14:40

eye wrote:
kotaeshiranaihito wrote:ya old professors usually stick with C and C++, which sucks and isn't that useful anymore. OOP is what they should be concentrating on.
C++ is OOP. :P
Yes and no. You learn to create classes and functions, but it doesn't engrave in your head the true foundations of OOP. Like the origination of all newly created objects is the objects class. When to extend and when to implement, the use of abstract classes, and there's no GUI interfece creation available, there are no exceptions or error handling details.

It's archaic. C++ is nice to learn and it definitely gives you an edge on other programming languages, but I wouldn't go farther than the first level class. Professors tend to just go all the way into pointers and data structures using pointers, when in reality there is no point anymore. I have a friend who's working as an entry level programmer for the state and the only thing she remembered about C++ was "hello world".

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Post by pwner4once » Aug 23rd, '06, 21:03

kotaeshiranaihito wrote:
pwner4once wrote:haha I am glad that owaranai has joined this thread. as for myself, i thought he is going to say something that I felt exactly like before school started. but anyhow it's almost identical. for me as a conclusion of my mishaps, i just want to say cherish every moment of happyness and catch the ride.

about programming, i think java will have a great future since it's more OS friendly. I took java last year and im looking forward to pick it up this year. maybe get a 1st place in distrction competition or smth :D
Java is something you have to devote special time for. There are just too many things to learn now a days for it. Swing, hybernate, struts the list goes on and on and gets bigger everyday. not to mention the fact that some of Java's naming conventions suck.

Ruby however is definitely something you can learn in your spare time. It was designed to be programmer friendly with good naming conventions, choices among which scripts to use, and a very good interface. The Ruby interface that you can download lets you test code immediately without compiling and gives definitions and examples of the different methods used.

Not saying Java isn't important, it is very VERY important, just that it's not something that can be learned in ones spare time. Plus, if you learn ruby (which is an OOP language like Java) you will have a much easier time with other OOP languages like Java, C#, and the less popular ones.
i don't really understand what you mean by Ruby able to run a program without compiling it. To my understanding, you have to compile the source in order to run something if it's like serious program else wouldn't it like shell ?

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Post by Mythrel » Aug 24th, '06, 02:09

actually in video game programming we do use doubly linked lists and such so its a solid language. C++ isn't an easy language or the end all, but I'm going to a school that is teaching us everything we need to know for this field so its a solid building block tool to use. I know of a guy getting a job because on his programmer test when he applied he was the only one out of 3 applicants that on the test actually got the doubly linked list question right.
Im making you aware. That if you dont like me well I dont care. Ill be exactly who I am and if you got a problem with it. Well thats your problem, man.

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Post by pwner4once » Aug 24th, '06, 02:28

Mythrel wrote:actually in video game programming we do use doubly linked lists and such so its a solid language. C++ isn't an easy language or the end all, but I'm going to a school that is teaching us everything we need to know for this field so its a solid building block tool to use. I know of a guy getting a job because on his programmer test when he applied he was the only one out of 3 applicants that on the test actually got the doubly linked list question right.
haha that's awesome. but sometimes i think the whole programming field is a joke. I just went to my local community college today for duel-credit class since im still in highschool. anyhow i met my friend who just graduated and he told me he got a job at some consulting firm which is named "Elite Consulting Agency" or smth along the line and he's BARELy out of highschool and will be making 33k every year. not so bad for a highschool graduate rite? but seriously... what the heck? i thought there are way more programmers needed out there... but guh. i hope the samething happens to me.

edit: btw how many of u who are majoring in comp sci actually have a job that's related to it while attending college?

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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Aug 25th, '06, 03:50

Mythrel wrote:actually in video game programming we do use doubly linked lists and such so its a solid language. C++ isn't an easy language or the end all, but I'm going to a school that is teaching us everything we need to know for this field so its a solid building block tool to use. I know of a guy getting a job because on his programmer test when he applied he was the only one out of 3 applicants that on the test actually got the doubly linked list question right.
doubly linked lists are extremely easy. I was able to make a "tree" without even using recursion-non balanced of course, a balanced one would require recursion, but you can easily find that algorithm on the net now and just copy-paste and switch things around. It was one of my projects (and it was only worth 25% only if it output certain things, the other 75% were like 1000000 times harder to get-his homeworks are still on the net I can pm them to you if you want).

You should have enough programming knowledge to create a linked list and a tree after (or during) the second semester in computer science-the course is usually entitled data structures-btw if you want a more chalenging question, ask your professor about making hash tables, or hash table trees.

Also Java has a linked list class in it (that uses pointers) where all you do is just write

linkedlist list = new linkedlist();

and then just write things like list.add(x); list.delete(y), list.search(z) [not sure if I'm 100% correct on the exact syntax but that can always be looked up in a second] etc. Easy, simple, exact same effect and no segmentation fault garbage. Ruby abd C# have the same classes I believe.

Anyway, I'm not saying you should completely ignore your professor and do what I want, I'm only saying that if you have any spare time, you should learn Ruby. It's very powerful, can be used as either a script, or a program on its own, and the full ruby program installed on your computer is a great asset because it can easily debug your code, show you immediate output so no compiling is necessary, and has a side panel of over 2000 methods and explanations. It is great to get a person started on true OOP.

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Post by Mythrel » Aug 25th, '06, 04:04

Pwner as that directed at me? I am not taking Computer Science. I am taking Visual and Game programming, which means I am taking a program that is geared entirely for coding for video games. I don't have time for a job and the only one in my class of 8 that has a job is already comfertable enough with the materal we have now to work, but once the pace quickens he will have to quit and it isn't programming lol. Sure you can get hired after highschool, all companies care about is what you can do. Your education isn't that big of a deal, well it is, but if you can do the work fine then they will hire you. Everyone I know that has graduated and one that didn't finish the course got hired on to a game studio out here in Vancouver. My friend Zack was actually going to come back for the last quarter to finish his program, but the company hired him right away. So it's all about what you know, just study hard it will take you places.

Edit: I understand what you are say kotaeshiranaihito. I don't doubt what my professors are teaching me. We are doing 6 11week quarters and there is a lot of **** we have to take in. I'm still in my first quarter and its only going to get worse from here. I agree doubly linked lists are easy, but the most coding I had done like before 7 weeks ago was a tad of C when I took my computer science course in my home city back on the east coast so I think i've picked up a **** load of knowledge already. They are a bit hard to understand when you are new to them and pointers and such and its not something you can fully grasp right away. I understand the principles of the structures and such, but its still a little confusing. The big problem I am having is with my physics class and all the line intercepts. That **** isn't easy lol. This is a 3 year course they broke down into a 1year 1/2 and they really should have thought about using this quarter to introduce the math theorys before trying to get us to code them. We basically have to have a game to him by tuesday and im so lost lol. I'll probably have to take his course again and next time I'm getting a friggin tutor.
Im making you aware. That if you dont like me well I dont care. Ill be exactly who I am and if you got a problem with it. Well thats your problem, man.

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Post by eye » Aug 26th, '06, 15:42

kotaeshiranaihito wrote:Yes and no. You learn to create classes and functions, but it doesn't engrave in your head the true foundations of OOP. Like the origination of all newly created objects is the objects class. When to extend and when to implement, the use of abstract classes, and there's no GUI interfece creation available, there are no exceptions or error handling details.
I agree C++ is not the most elegant OOP language out there for beginners, but it's still the number one choice for large applications. Just look at the alternatives:

Java? The memory footprint of the JVM is too large. 16MB for "Hello World", and it's still impossible for several Java apps to share a single instance of the JVM. And if you want to integrate Java into the look & feel of the host OS, your only option is to use SWT, which is -- you guessed it -- written in C++.

C#? It's not really cross-platform.

Python and Ruby are nice, but they are script languages that don't compile into native binaries.

C++ includes no GUI toolkit for obvious reasons. But if you need one, you can choose from wxWidgets, Qt, Gtk, and some others. They are all open source and help you build applications that are truly cross-platform. There are many examples of such applications, e.g. Firefox, OpenOffice.org, The GIMP, Inkscape, Blender, VLC media player, and others.
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Post by pwner4once » Aug 29th, '06, 04:15

Today is my first day of Calc 3. The teaching style is completely different yet I really love my professor's teaching style. By different, i mean easier. Since my old highschool teacher would usually start doing limits and etc in Cal 2 right before the bell rings. The calc3 seems kind slow paste and it's really easy to follow. But there are only 6 ppl including me in the class and all others are white and there is a chinese lookingi boy who sits miles away from us. I am just wondering if that's the normal case for a calc3 class since it's my first time. Also what would be a good approach to talk to the ppl about study group and stuff? how do u guys do it in college?

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Post by gibonite » Sep 16th, '06, 14:04

hey buddies! Going well?

well I got a little problem: unless my family's from China, i really don't know a thing about speaking chinese, since we're in France for a very long time ( about a century ). The problem is that my boyfriend has to go to china for professionnal reasons, and he asked me to go with him.

It will be in 2 years but I can't stop to think about it...

Should I leave him or should I go with him? This question turns me crazy sometimes...

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Post by Mythrel » Sep 16th, '06, 19:14

You still have a little under two years to decide. Think about what is best for you in the situation. Would you be happy there? Would you have to get a job? Do you want a job? I don't think you should push him away yet, but you guys should sit down and discuss the future and explain how it will affect you too. If you both are still happy at the moment being together then why let it go just yet. A lot of things can change in 2 years so you never know. Anyways I hope things are well and this gets resolved so you don't have the headache. Take care gibonite!
Im making you aware. That if you dont like me well I dont care. Ill be exactly who I am and if you got a problem with it. Well thats your problem, man.

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Take a chance

Post by Star-X-Nova » Sep 18th, '06, 03:44

gibonite wrote:hey buddies! Going well?

well I got a little problem: unless my family's from China, i really don't know a thing about speaking chinese, since we're in France for a very long time ( about a century ). The problem is that my boyfriend has to go to china for professionnal reasons, and he asked me to go with him.

It will be in 2 years but I can't stop to think about it...

Should I leave him or should I go with him? This question turns me crazy sometimes...
Hey, I can't say I know how you feel but I have traveled to many places and still have many place to see. I'm only 21 but I have been through many things that most people will never get to experiance in a life time because they are afaid to take a chance. I live by a rule of "You only life once so why not?" In your case of love... a wonderful but uncertin feeling.. If you love him and believe in him then why not take a risk and go? You might even learn more about your self. I know its difficult because you do not know how to speak Chinese but if you have the will power, than anything is possible. I wish you the best and I hope you think this over fulling and sometimes...sometimes you can't trust your heart...but whatever you choose...make sure you won't regret it in the future.
Legendary lovers.... maybe we could be one.

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Post by gibonite » Sep 18th, '06, 04:29

yeah thank you... But the fact is that I'll leave my family/friends to go there...

It's a really difficult decision...

Hopefully, i got time to think about it, as Mythrel said...

@Mythrel: well, it's kind of difficult to speak about it, not because we're not close, but because it fears us to break up because of that after more than a year of very good relationship and love.

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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Sep 18th, '06, 16:28

gibonite wrote:yeah thank you... But the fact is that I'll leave my family/friends to go there...

It's a really difficult decision...

Hopefully, i got time to think about it, as Mythrel said...
While you're thinking about it, I suggest taking chinese classes.Two years is plenty of time to get enough insite to at least survive in china, and if nothing else, it's always good to learn a new language.
gibonite wrote: @Mythrel: well, it's kind of difficult to speak about it, not because we're not close, but because it fears us to break up because of that after more than a year of very good relationship and love.
Staying with someone simply because you're afraid to break up with them is never a good idea. You stay with someone because you truly want to be with them and you are able to see a future with them, not because you don't know what you would do if he/she weren't around. Fear (not fear of retaliation, fear of not knowing what to do if a break up occurs) is an excuse some women use to stay in abusive relationships, but many others around them say it's a ridiculous reason. Even though you're not in an abusive relationship (I hope) if fear is the only thing keeping you two together then eventually this relationship will not work out-and by that time you might end up alone in china.

Either way, this decision is going to change your entire life. I suggest you think really hard on it.

Also, why is he going to china anway? Is it work related? Is it possible to just find another job where you are? I mean two years of searching will definitely lead to something.

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Post by gibonite » Sep 18th, '06, 16:52

kotaeshiranaihito wrote: Staying with someone simply because you're afraid to break up with them is never a good idea. You stay with someone because you truly want to be with them and you are able to see a future with them, not because you don't know what you would do if he/she weren't around. Fear (not fear of retaliation, fear of not knowing what to do if a break up occurs) is an excuse some women use to stay in abusive relationships, but many others around them say it's a ridiculous reason. Even though you're not in an abusive relationship (I hope) if fear is the only thing keeping you two together then eventually this relationship will not work out-and by that time you might end up alone in china.

Either way, this decision is going to change your entire life. I suggest you think really hard on it.

Also, why is he going to china anway? Is it work related? Is it possible to just find another job where you are? I mean two years of searching will definitely lead to something.
I'm not staying with him because of fear, be sure of it.

He's going there because of work, it's an extremly good opportunity, regarding the fact that he speaks chinese quite fluently. Yeah I know I'm chinese blooded, but I don't know a word of chinese, it's a pity...

Taking classes? Hum... I have to find some time to do it. You know I'm "old fashioned"... I work by day, and I cook for him at night. Not that he make me do that, just beacause I love it, and I think it's part of my "job" as her girlfriend.

Well... Thank you for your concern !

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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Sep 18th, '06, 17:05

gibonite wrote: Taking classes? Hum... I have to find some time to do it. You know I'm "old fashioned"... I work by day, and I cook for him at night. Not that he make me do that, just beacause I love it, and I think it's part of my "job" as her girlfriend.

Well... Thank you for your concern !
The classes I'm taking here are 2 hours a day once a week on saturday mornings. Not sure if you have something equivalent there.

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Post by gibonite » Sep 18th, '06, 17:47

I see. Maybe there's some lessons here like yours. Gotta look for it! :-)

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Post by waqar » Sep 18th, '06, 17:58

gibonite,

Good luck, i pray every thing go well for you.

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Post by Xi@h » Sep 18th, '06, 20:36

Oh this thread is back alive again. Gibonite, think twice, thrice, at then end, it's your choice that counts. So good luck in whatever you chose :D

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Post by gibonite » Sep 18th, '06, 20:52

I'll never let this thread die you know :P

And yeah, I know, but I'm not good to makea decision,, I usually make the wrong one :lol

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Post by Star-X-Nova » Sep 18th, '06, 23:26

Yeah try to find some classes today I applied to work at a Chinese Resturant and I get an interveiw on Wendays. Its a big deal for me because i'm black and I told them that pay does not matter, I just want to learn Chinese and be around it. Since there are no classes here, this is really great for me. ^^ good luck on finding classes.
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Post by Mythrel » Sep 19th, '06, 01:26

@Mythrel: well, it's kind of difficult to speak about it, not because we're not close, but because it fears us to break up because of that after more than a year of very good relationship and love.
The reason I said that it should be brought up because like what kotaeshiranaihito said, it is a big decision in your life. You may not have to choose now, but you can't hide from it forever. You might as well face it head on and see where you can comprimise, it's what relationships are all about. Not that I think you should bring it up just yet to the full extent but plan it now. Figure out what you see with your life and if he is really truely in it. Learning chinese will be by no means easy, it is the hardest language to learn that I know of. I just don't want to see you break up without giving it a try and seeing if it can work.


Othernews the nice guy got a date this friday booyah :dance: :P
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Post by Star-X-Nova » Sep 19th, '06, 01:40

Well said Mythrel, Take a chance.
Legendary lovers.... maybe we could be one.

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Post by someasianguy » Sep 19th, '06, 04:47

ok... i've been reading along for a while, but i'm kinda hesitant to actually type something for the whole gosh darn world to read... so here it goes.

i'm a 18 year old guy from southern california. and as with 電車男, age = years with out girlfriend. haha. i have been able to live with it for ages, having many diffrent crushes at diffrent points of time. but one thing has gotten me in a funk. it all started back in march 2005. i was at a leadership retreat meeting tons of people i'll never see again. and one of my friends who went with me bet around $20 me that i couldnt get the number of this cute girl. there were many many cute girls around, but she had it to me. so at the dance, knowing my entrepenuring and gambling self, i went danced with her for about 10 minutes, i saw some open and closed body language, so i decided to not go with the plan. then the morning after we all were about to leave, and i saw her again. we talked for a while and i got the number. i was jumping for joy. i actually had no pen so i dashed to the closest person i knew to get one. that week people noticed that i was somehow diffrent, in a positive way. so i called her that tuesday. had a quick awkward conversation, and that happend for about a week. then when i was gatering enough fortitude to ask her out, the bombshell hit. she had a steady boyfriend for about a year. i was crushed. i made one effort to talk again, but to no avail. thus ends my story.

i understand now that nomatter what i cant change the past. but theres this sinking feeling inside me always asking my self what if. and that has caused me to question every single thing i have done since. so now i'm in this rut seeing all the imperfections of every girl i see and even developing a mild case of kuwano shinsuke syndrome, iratible, semi antisocial, and ocd-like symptoms. i have masked this with a personality in high school of being a overly loud and "horny" person, even though every guy is some way or another. i dont know why i'm even telling y'all this, but i think this is a step to recovery, but i'm asking all of you, how can i get over this feeling of being led on, and stop finding all these minute flaws, iratiblity and other things i have been doing.

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Post by hmm_yeh » Sep 19th, '06, 05:04

someasiianguy....

the "what if" question will always be floating around your mind until you get over this girl. it's wrong that she led you on knowing she had a steady boyfriend, but these things happen. I think you should overlook any "flaws" you may see in a girl because no one is perfect. No matter what happens, once you get to know a person, all of their imperfections will come to the surface. Don't loose faith! don't prevent yourself from getting to know a person and cheer up!!
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Post by Star-X-Nova » Sep 19th, '06, 05:12

someasiianguy... I have been throught it before for so I know how you feel....just say F%@& IT and go on to the next. There are over 2 billion women on this earth, don't let one break you down. Be strong!
Legendary lovers.... maybe we could be one.

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Post by waqar » Sep 19th, '06, 13:43

someasianguy,

Let me tell you, 2 beautiful things happen to me in my life

1- Mother
2- GirlFriend (who i am getting married in 1 month :)).

So my friend don't giveup, not every girl or every guy is same (and not every one is flaw free) so give a try and i pray you get perfect match for you :thumright: .

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Post by Xi@h » Sep 19th, '06, 14:07

Mythrel wrote: Othernews the nice guy got a date this friday booyah :dance: :P
:dance: be nice to her and be a gentleman like you've always been!!

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Post by nedayaj » Sep 20th, '06, 23:00

I've got a question for guys... Does guys like girls who talk alot? What do you think is a interesting topic to talk with guys??

I'm getting rusty at talking now. Most of the time i'm just speechless and all i can do is smile. I use to talk alot not caring what people thought. Now, i still don't care about what people think about what i say, its just i don't have anything to say or i'm blank. In my head -> Uhh! What am i suppose to say! should i say something?

Seriously, i'm like blank. What happen to me man?

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Post by gibonite » Sep 20th, '06, 23:08

Hum... I don't think a guy could like a girl who don't speak... unless guys who maybe think you're an easy living person...

Well, hard to say.

But, if you're shy, you can control yourself with time, so don't be afraid and try to chat a little more, step by step ;)

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Post by nedayaj » Sep 20th, '06, 23:29

Of course, i dont think i would like someone who doesn't speak. But i do speak every now and then.

Basically, i think i'm sick and tired with guys tricks. I've been around guys all my life. I know all there tricks up and down. Everything they say or do or act toward me, i already know what trick their pulling. Seriously, i just want to be friends around these guys. Its just what should i talk to them about.

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Post by gibonite » Sep 20th, '06, 23:37

By not letting some guys using their trick, you''ll end up alone :/

Do you see my point?

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Post by waqar » Sep 20th, '06, 23:38

In my opinion if my gf don't talk to me or i don't talk to her i will die already :).
When i meet her (every day after office), we talk almost every thing about office (gossip, tension).
So i am big talker :).

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Post by gibonite » Sep 20th, '06, 23:41

I was :D
Last edited by gibonite on Sep 20th, '06, 23:42, edited 1 time in total.

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nedayaj
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Post by nedayaj » Sep 20th, '06, 23:41

Seriously, i am a big huge talker too. Its just my problem is right now is how do i get the talking started.

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gibonite
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Post by gibonite » Sep 21st, '06, 00:04

Yeah, the first step is the hardest :/

Hum... Maybe it's easier if you talk about something you got both in commun :/

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Post by someasianguy » Sep 21st, '06, 02:51

ey y'all thanks for the replies, i dunno why but i feel like a million bucks after posting that post earlier. now i just need to learn to approach the fairer sex without a) being and seeming ridicoulsly random. b) totally failing

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Post by waqar » Sep 21st, '06, 13:39

Some time is hard to find common topic to start, so i always start by asking her how was day, whats happen at office and from there we start talking every thing happen during day :). It is not possible to have always sweet talk as we see in drama :-( , i always try to unload her entire day's burden :D.

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Post by pwner4once » Sep 21st, '06, 23:07

sometimes i think the phrase " how are u " is more like a causual opening for the endless stream of nonsense and relationship which might lead one toward a friendship which might turn into a relationship. anyhow the key is even if she says "fine" and stops. you should share something personal or interesting with her. however do pay attention to her response. although some tender to be completely stoic and even non-socialable because of shyness. therefore.... u go !

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Post by Star-X-Nova » Sep 22nd, '06, 03:14

That is true...you will be alone...I'm a guy and the only thing I can say is be open and try not to assume to much. If the guy try's to make a move on you and you do not have the same thought on your mind, just tell him up front that you can only be friends.
Legendary lovers.... maybe we could be one.

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Post by pwner4once » Sep 29th, '06, 15:55

dear all F4 members. eer.. im kind free next week. so just wondering if we can get together on skype to talk about the subbing group and catch up on life and stuff. hm how does Sunday or two days away sounds? get back to me :D

gotta bounce :D

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Post by liku » Sep 30th, '06, 12:20

well it's ok if the girls talks... but don't talk too much because sometimes the boy will feel "lonely"... :lol

and regarding gibonite....

if you're chinese i don't think it would be a problem to go in china.... while he is working you can start to learn to speak chinese (there are many school in china where you can learn chinese)
or you can just stay where you are and wait for him to return..... even if you won't see him you can always use the telephone or even better internet on a webcam with audio.... and you can always go in china during summerbreak or when you don't have work or school for 1 or two month

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Post by Xi@h » Sep 30th, '06, 12:44

pwner4once wrote:dear all F4 members. eer.. im kind free next week. so just wondering if we can get together on skype to talk about the subbing group and catch up on life and stuff. hm how does Sunday or two days away sounds? get back to me :D

gotta bounce :D
Sounds good to me. But I dont have skype dude. Mythrel is always online on MSN lol

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Post by x_XJules » Sep 30th, '06, 19:56

Jeremiah wrote:
pwner4once wrote:dear all F4 members. eer.. im kind free next week. so just wondering if we can get together on skype to talk about the subbing group and catch up on life and stuff. hm how does Sunday or two days away sounds? get back to me :D

gotta bounce :D
Sounds good to me. But I dont have skype dude. Mythrel is always online on MSN lol
:offtopic:
sorry i haven't really gotten back to you jerry. LoL, i remembered the message you sent me but i couldn't remember where you sent it to.. like one of my e-mails or d-addicts or whatever. :lol so you dropped d-fansubs? LoL, i haven't been active at all there recently so i may be doing the same. i think the f4 should start our own subbing group. although do we even have some translators?
i could get online sunday night after work (on msn) but during this next week i've got school and i'm house-sitting for my parents. after next week though i'll be back at my apartment so i'll have full-computer-internet-chatting-access :lol

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Post by pwner4once » Sep 30th, '06, 23:16

x_XJules wrote:
Jeremiah wrote:
pwner4once wrote:dear all F4 members. eer.. im kind free next week. so just wondering if we can get together on skype to talk about the subbing group and catch up on life and stuff. hm how does Sunday or two days away sounds? get back to me :D

gotta bounce :D
Sounds good to me. But I dont have skype dude. Mythrel is always online on MSN lol
:offtopic:
sorry i haven't really gotten back to you jerry. LoL, i remembered the message you sent me but i couldn't remember where you sent it to.. like one of my e-mails or d-addicts or whatever. :lol so you dropped d-fansubs? LoL, i haven't been active at all there recently so i may be doing the same. i think the f4 should start our own subbing group. although do we even have some translators?
i could get online sunday night after work (on msn) but during this next week i've got school and i'm house-sitting for my parents. after next week though i'll be back at my apartment so i'll have full-computer-internet-chatting-access :lol
hey Julie. still remember me? yea long time no talk. anyhow i was talking about Jeremiah about the translator issue. If no1 can translate from chinese, i'll try to do it since i am chinese. Right now I have our "congregation" on tomorrow night. so that would be Jerry, Julie and me. Mythrel will probably on since he's always on. does that sound good?

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Post by x_XJules » Sep 30th, '06, 23:46

pwner4once wrote:hey Julie. still remember me? yea long time no talk. anyhow i was talking about Jeremiah about the translator issue. If no1 can translate from chinese, i'll try to do it since i am chinese. Right now I have our "congregation" on tomorrow night. so that would be Jerry, Julie and me. Mythrel will probably on since he's always on. does that sound good?
:offtopic:
LoL of course i remember you jing. haha, i seriously doubt any of us can translate from chinese (except for maybe you, LoL). i've got experience in timing and stuff.. but LoL w/o translators we really don't have much of a group. i can't be on tomorrow i'll be at my parents house. i can be on later tonight after work, or sometime after next monday. (then i'll be back at my apartment). you guys can meet w/o me and just e-mail me what you decide on and i can e-mail back some thoughts or replies.

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And

Post by gibonite » Oct 1st, '06, 07:29

liku wrote: and regarding gibonite....

if you're chinese i don't think it would be a problem to go in china.... while he is working you can start to learn to speak chinese (there are many school in china where you can learn chinese)
or you can just stay where you are and wait for him to return..... even if you won't see him you can always use the telephone or even better internet on a webcam with audio.... and you can always go in china during summerbreak or when you don't have work or school for 1 or two month
yeah, I'm from a chinese origin, but I'm french. I mean, I was born in France, and i really don't know a thing about China.

And I'm not really happy to live once again a long distance relationship, i'm not sure about myself, mayb i'll be to sad to bear it...

Anyway, thank you for your concern :wink:

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Post by pwner4once » Oct 1st, '06, 16:18

haha sounds more like a pain in the butt XD
well im hoping some1 will get on tonight. So yea....

but Julie, did u move out or smth? :blink
lol I haven't been keeping trach of u guys at all... school lifeguard and all these other crap. but now I had quit my lifeguard job. I am pretty much free but with not that much money.

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Post by Xi@h » Oct 1st, '06, 16:29

x_XJules wrote: sorry i haven't really gotten back to you jerry. LoL, i remembered the message you sent me but i couldn't remember where you sent it to.. like one of my e-mails or d-addicts or whatever. :lol
I texted you LOL seems that you're very busy that you have completely forgotten where I sent it LOL

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Post by Valcun » Oct 3rd, '06, 21:38

Uh... Hey guys :unsure:
Image Image

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Post by ocha otoko » Oct 4th, '06, 11:49

do you guys wonder....before densha otoko....how were single's rant threads? i mean were they really about guys sharing their failures and then ppl encourging and helping them? or was it really a RANT? where everyone bitched?

i have a question to ask... do you guys ...do you think there are anyways to temporarily to block off one's emotions...?

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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Oct 4th, '06, 19:11

ocha otoko wrote:do you guys wonder....before densha otoko....how were single's rant threads? i mean were they really about guys sharing their failures and then ppl encourging and helping them? or was it really a RANT? where everyone bitched?

i have a question to ask... do you guys ...do you think there are anyways to temporarily to block off one's emotions...?
A little of both. just like it still is now. Densha otoko did not change anything. The real message board is nothing like what you saw in the drama. There was a few that scolded him, a few that made fun of him, a few that drew stupid pictures of moomin (wiki it), and a few that were off topic completely (I remember one of them made fun of him saying he was a premature ejaculator, and then in hermes line wrote: it's ok I think it suits you-as a pun because she actually said that with the japanese food restaurant choice).

no there isn't. Changing your personality always takes time, you can't just turn it on and off. If you want to close your heart to everyone and become cold, it takes time, but it's not a very good idea in the end because unlike in dramas it takes even longer to go back to normal.

If you want a quick fix there's always presciption drugs, but I wouldn't recommend them, trust me on this one.

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Post by Xi@h » Oct 4th, '06, 19:18

Valcun wrote:Uh... Hey guys :unsure:
Yo!! We are currently regrouping... mind to join the team again? :roll

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Post by pwner4once » Oct 5th, '06, 00:32

hey guys
I am kind tempted by the information the subber gave out about the origin of this whole series at the very end of the deluxe eps. but I really want to make a thread to clear up all these block piece by piece information about the origin of this drama. therefore if u guys think it's good. i'll create it. and maybe we will know the whole story of the true densha and hermes along with the flourish and exiling of the 2ch owner

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Post by Valcun » Oct 5th, '06, 09:25

Yeah, I'll join again. I'm still a beginner in japanese. But I'll try my best to translate/edit/timing for the J-Dramas.

Ours starts on Oct 12th right?

Re: Ocha Otoko

This thread sometimes is like the Forums in Densha otoko.. I use to be Basu Otoko because I saw the most beautiful girl on the bus while riding to college one day. Everyone cheered me on and gave me tips on how to approach her. I rode the bus 1 week straight at the hours before and after I saw her on that day. I saw her again 7 months later, but thats a different story. Right now, I think you need to learn about your self. Right now it sounds like your confused and just want to shut off all your emotions together. Tell you the truth, you can't. No matter how hard you try, it will always be there. But everytime I'm feeling a little down or just overwhelmed by an emotion. First thing I do is calm down, take deep breaths. Try to get into a mind state of humility and humble. Then I say this phrase in my head, "Ganbatte, ne? :)" Then I feel all better and I want to try my best in everything!

But try type out your situation and will try give you the best advice possible :thumright:
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Post by gibonite » Oct 5th, '06, 09:50

pwner4once wrote:hey guys
I am kind tempted by the information the subber gave out about the origin of this whole series at the very end of the deluxe eps. but I really want to make a thread to clear up all these block piece by piece information about the origin of this drama. therefore if u guys think it's good. i'll create it. and maybe we will know the whole story of the true densha and hermes along with the flourish and exiling of the 2ch owner
just look at the original thread of densha ;)

http://www.rinji.tv/densha/

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Post by Xi@h » Oct 5th, '06, 10:36

Valcun wrote:Yeah, I'll join again. I'm still a beginner in japanese. But I'll try my best to translate/edit/timing for the J-Dramas.

Ours starts on Oct 12th right?

Re: Ocha Otoko

This thread sometimes is like the Forums in Densha otoko.. I use to be Basu Otoko because I saw the most beautiful girl on the bus while riding to college one day. Everyone cheered me on and gave me tips on how to approach her. I rode the bus 1 week straight at the hours before and after I saw her on that day. I saw her again 7 months later, but thats a different story. Right now, I think you need to learn about your self. Right now it sounds like your confused and just want to shut off all your emotions together. Tell you the truth, you can't. No matter how hard you try, it will always be there. But everytime I'm feeling a little down or just overwhelmed by an emotion. First thing I do is calm down, take deep breaths. Try to get into a mind state of humility and humble. Then I say this phrase in my head, "Ganbatte, ne? :)" Then I feel all better and I want to try my best in everything!

But try type out your situation and will try give you the best advice possible :thumright:
Glad to hear that the team will be back together. Yes it will start this October 12th. However, we are currently subbing HK Drama Love Bond for the moment.

Wow, basu otoko haha, whenever I remind those days, it makes me smile from ear to ear haha.

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Post by pwner4once » Oct 5th, '06, 14:03

so... im guessing we gonna start working on Love Bond?!

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Post by kotaeshiranaihito » Oct 5th, '06, 20:42

Valcun wrote:Yeah, I'll join again. I'm still a beginner in japanese. But I'll try my best to translate/edit/timing for the J-Dramas.

Ours starts on Oct 12th right?

Re: Ocha Otoko

This thread sometimes is like the Forums in Densha otoko.. I use to be Basu Otoko because I saw the most beautiful girl on the bus while riding to college one day. Everyone cheered me on and gave me tips on how to approach her. I rode the bus 1 week straight at the hours before and after I saw her on that day. I saw her again 7 months later, but thats a different story. Right now, I think you need to learn about your self. Right now it sounds like your confused and just want to shut off all your emotions together. Tell you the truth, you can't. No matter how hard you try, it will always be there. But everytime I'm feeling a little down or just overwhelmed by an emotion. First thing I do is calm down, take deep breaths. Try to get into a mind state of humility and humble. Then I say this phrase in my head, "Ganbatte, ne? :)" Then I feel all better and I want to try my best in everything!

But try type out your situation and will try give you the best advice possible :thumright:

weren't you the alleged "great player" who used to get like a hundred girls a day or something?

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Post by Valcun » Oct 5th, '06, 22:51

That happened after this incident... and I'm not a player. Just because I meet a lot of women doesn't mean I "abuse" them or treat them as a "prize". Each girl I meet, I have "some" interest in them and want to get to know them.
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Post by pwner4once » Oct 6th, '06, 17:20

how is everyone doing?
just finished watching Taiyou no Uta even though im suppose to be subbing Just Love lol. anyhow don't u guys feel smaller within this vast world when some1 close to u leave u for a better place, death?

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Post by x_XJules » Oct 7th, '06, 02:56

pwner4once wrote:but Julie, did u move out or smth? :blink
yup i sure did!! i also left to study in japan for awhile! LoL, but i'm back now.

October 12th, eh?
....what happens on that day? :lol

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