SINGLES RANTING THREAD (Dating Advice)

The real life drama forum. Discuss your relationships or get to know the other members here.
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xarien
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Post by xarien » Dec 8th, '05, 04:18

animetama wrote:
xarien wrote: I disagree. Negatives are only endearing after you've had time to know the person. If you're just meeting them for the first time, you'll want to hide your bad traits (at least for a little while).
For most things like being a lazy slob etc.. but personality-wise (which might be a little hard to hide and/or change), why bother?
I was initially peeved but very, very, very curious because he was reticence and moody (yes, go figure!)
And this is what you want right? To leave an impression, whether good or bad because ultimately, you want that person thinking about you.
xarien wrote: Sheesh, just a hug Tama? I was expecting at least a grope.
/me gropes xarien in the hug!
:wub:
Correct. Being thought about, whether is good or bad, is much better than being not thought about at all. By the way, the hiding bad traits I was describing do correspond more towards being a slob rather than other more endearing qualitiies.

/me fondles Tama's boobs in the hug!

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Post by Xi@h » Dec 8th, '05, 05:22

Souriance wrote:Hum... How could I tell her this while she's still loving him?... :-(
@Souriance, Heh, did you have to wait for her old love story to cool down to tell her? She was having a nightmare with that guy, you could have save her from this torture if you have told her that you love her. His ex was just a crap that want to get hold of her, so if you were here for her, man she could have been with you now instead being in china (i guess so) :whistling:

@Pwner4once, don't worry, though I'm complaining about the pain, it will get better in one month or two :blink

@Valcun, so how is it going with Aya-san and what about the other cuties? XD

@Jules, where are you girl? Been days haven't heard from you. Hope you're doing fine :)

*OFF TOPIC*

I'm going insane, can't really catch up 2 pages with all these long postings.. phew!! For sure this thread is more than lively :crazy: I'll try to read everything when I got the free time :lol

JE PETE LES PLOMBS :w000t:

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mokona424
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Post by mokona424 » Dec 8th, '05, 10:42

slippyepic
hmm dats a nice yet kinda weird in a way program?
besides uhm(no offence to guys but uhh)
y do u guys nid dat?
i feel kinda weird imagining dat if i knew dat if a guy is courting me w/ a program like an encoded computer i would definitely think he's not a trustworthy person or somting
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slippyepic
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Post by slippyepic » Dec 8th, '05, 17:46

i feel kinda weird imagining dat if i knew dat if a guy is courting me w/ a program like an encoded computer i would definitely think he's not a trustworthy person or somting
Oh, I agree. In the real world, I would never talk about this openly with either gender, because people would assume I practice it and/or use it to manipulate other people. Rather, in this thread, I think it's more useful to explain why certain "truisms" of courtship work the way they do. Why mantaining eye contact is important. Why listening is important. And so on.

The truth is, dating for both men and women becomes kinda mechanical into your 20s. Sex becomes casual; you earn your own money; patterns from previous relationships begin to repeat themselves; finally you accept that you and all your ex-girlfriends are doing quite fine without each other. Dating has more rules and specific dilemnas. Do you buy the girl drinks? Do you leave a note or make her coffee? Do you call her back for another date? Is she really that interesting? Is she that in to you? If she wants to move in, do you convice her it's not a good idea? Is she bored? Does she want to change you or your lifestyle or your apartment? Do you move and abandon your career path, or do you make her do that?

Both pure romantic idealism and bitter cynicism give away to a better understanding of yourself and especially your faults/limitation, and a much more grounded, realistic way of looking at each other.

Let's put it this way. If you're still dating into your 30s, virtually everything I've brought up, both genders will already be doing anyway and KNOW that the other is doing that.

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Valcun
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Post by Valcun » Dec 9th, '05, 09:58

Do you guys beileive in fate? Well your not going to beileve this! I ran into Basu-Hermes today at work :w00t: :cheers: :lol :P
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Post by Xi@h » Dec 9th, '05, 10:54

Valcun wrote:Do you guys beileive in fate? Well your not going to beileve this! I ran into Basu-Hermes today at work :w00t: :cheers: :lol :P
KITAAAAAA!!!! Valcun, you lucky bastard!!!! Chotto matte!! What about Aya-san now?? :blink

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Valcun
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Post by Valcun » Dec 9th, '05, 10:57

Aya-san wasn't at work today. I have a story about aya-san the day before. But today, I can't beileive it. I ran into basu-hermes and I wasn't even looking for her either. It was unexpected! :wub:
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Post by Xi@h » Dec 9th, '05, 11:01

She might be the one for you Valcun!!! Go for her I say but you have to be careful now because of Aya-san and others.

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Valcun
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Post by Valcun » Dec 9th, '05, 11:06

Its a long story behind all this. Basu-Hermes doesn't work at my work place its just that she was there shopping. I don't know if you want to hear the story though. Whats the longest a post can be? :crazy: :scratch:

Well I'm off, I'll see you guys tommorrow :)
Last edited by Valcun on Dec 9th, '05, 11:08, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Xi@h » Dec 9th, '05, 11:07

Valcun, go for the long story, kill us slowly would you? :)

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x_XJules
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Post by x_XJules » Dec 9th, '05, 14:44

hello?

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Post by Xi@h » Dec 9th, '05, 15:36

x_XJules wrote:hello?
The sleeping beauty is back :roll

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Mythrel
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Post by Mythrel » Dec 9th, '05, 16:33

:clap: :clap: :clap: Maybe you had to awaken who you really were before you were ment to meet her? I want to believe in fate but its a pretty damn good coincidence nonetheless. Good luck with that hope it works out. Try not to lose sight of the big picture.

Getting much sleep lately Jules? Or have you been up late partying with your snowman XD pssh and everyone thought frosty was cool they never met broccoli eyes.


Jeremiah hows the feet today? The days are slipping away quickly only a few more days left :P


Cloud where are ya at bro... Are you enjoying your like with dreamgirl is that why you haven't been around you sly dog you!

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Post by Xi@h » Dec 9th, '05, 18:09

Mythrel, thanks. well yeah, though it's painful while walking, it's getting better.

Cloud? He has just posted there http://www.d-addicts.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=25955 and he didn't seem interested to respond to the SRT thread anymore.

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Post by x_XJules » Dec 9th, '05, 18:26

The thread grew so much!! my goodness. there's so many new people. Hi everyone!

@Jeremiah, how's the foot? :lol that really sucks

@mythrel, all our snow melted :cry: :cry: broccoli eyes died!

it's good to be back! i kinda missed you guys.

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Post by Xi@h » Dec 9th, '05, 20:28

Yep, this thread is growing so rapidly that I can't follow the pace. My foot is getting fine at the moment, hopefully it wasn't serious else I would have to undertake a surgery.. yaackks!! :goggle:

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Mythrel
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Post by Mythrel » Dec 9th, '05, 22:13

Omg they killed Broccoli eyes, YOU BASTARDS! *shakes fist at the sun* . We got more snow today, might actually have a white christmas this year. I get to go paintballing in it on sunday XD I dunno why more people don't play paintball in the snow it rocks. Its funny when you will occasionally see a snowball go flying by lol.

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Valcun
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Post by Valcun » Dec 9th, '05, 23:23

Well, this all started the day before Yesturday.

I just got a car yesturday! (1993 Honda Prelude SI) Its Red and is manual transmission! Haha Finally after Two years of saving I got a car! :lol. So now I don't need to ride the bus no more! :). Today was pretty cool because I drove to college which took me only 20mins! Beats getting there in 2 hours from the bus :P. Later on that day I drove to work. As I walked in, I saw Aya-san working with one of "her fan boys" as her partner. After getting my task, I was assigned to a guy I went to college with (don't really know him that well) and our station was directly across from AYA! So now we both can directly see each other. While I'm helping my college buddy Aya would look at me then give me tasks to do. :P Which was weird since usually the partner im working with gives tasks to do, Not other people from other stations. Anyway, I went ahead and did them. A supervisor came and told me I need to help someone get this big furniture on a flat bed for him. I nodded my ahead and agreed, right before I walked off, Aya suddenly called my name. As I looked to my right, she was very close to me and was staring me in the eyes. She told me "I should be careful since its a big item and I should call someone else to help me lift it." But as I stared in her eyes, I knew it wasn't just an order. I could see her concern for me on her face. I said "Sure, Okay." and walked off. By the time I got to the big furniture, haha I lifted it by my self and put it on the flat bed. It wasnt THAT heavy even though it was big. At least Aya wasn't looking when I did this ;). So later on I went back to my college buddy and started assisting for him again. I noticed that the supervisor started to send her "fan boy" out on tasks to do, while she was there by her self. So a thought occured in my head "Maybe I should go there and Help her!" But as I approached her to help, The fan boy immediate ran back and came infront of me like a brick wall and said "Thanks man for trying to help her, But don't worry bro. I got it". I said, "Okay" and marched back to my station in defeat. Later on during the night, the same thing happen again and Aya was left by her self. This time I was definately going to try and help her! As I approached, my supervisor came and said "Hey, The guy on the station over here next to you is going to need help since I'm taking his partner away for a second. Can you watch both stations?". I replied "Okidoky!" and walked back to my stations. Now I'm helping my college buddy and this guy on our left, while Aya was left alone on her right. But meh, I never tried to help her again after that. It got really busy and I was working as fast as I could to get things by. Suddenly, this cute japanese girl got in my line. She was definately looking at me and showing some interest all the while Aya was watching this. I did everything possibly correct with my body language and the facial expressions on my face. This girl looked totally interested in me. Soon as it was her turn, She walked to the table right infront of me. As soon as I open my mouth I realized something. I LOST IT! I lost my game, I was not able to say anything except work related things. I asked her questions like if she wanted it to look like this? If she needed help to her car and If she needed a cart for this. She replied "No" and smiled. Then she left and walked away. I felt miserable I couldn't beileve it I LOST MY GAME! I felt like falling on my knees and screaming towards the moonlit sky "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Later on during the night, things finally slowed down and it was time to close. Before I left to go to my department, Aya stopped me and ask if I could retrieve something for her. After I came back with the thing she wanted me to get, I handed it to her and said "here you go" and smiled. She looked at me and said "Thanks" and smiled back. Then I left.
While I was working in my department, I was thinking about Aya. Is she really the right one for me? I obviously can feel her emotions out that she likes me or is at least attracted to me. But I haven't really talked to her for that much. I don't know much about her and she doesn't know anything about me. Even though she is beautiful, I don't really feel an attraction towards her. I know she is the cutest girl at work and is asian, but I don't really want to push it towards an intimate level. Maybe I should stop right now in my tracks.
For the rest of the night Aya ignored me and talked with everyone else, which was pretty cool to me. Then she left an hour before I did, her shift was earlier than mines. After work I walked to my car and saw my college buddys car. We pretty much talked about auto detailing and making your car look "nice and shiny" :). I then drove home. On my way home my english teacher from college called me telling me my Final Paper was wrong and I need to come in 7am tommorrow to fix it. As I looked at the time, It was currently Midnight. I thought to my self "Oh great, another night with almost no sleep. How could things possibly get worse?"

Yesturday,
I drove to school half an hour late, haha 7:30. My english teacher told me that in my Final Paper I didn't "highlight" in my hardcopied sources each exact word and phrase I used in my paper. I thought to my self "Why you....." 2 and a half hours passed and I fixed everything. I went to my classes and got my paper back. I got a B! woo hoo. Maybe she just doesn't like World War 2 and the 101st Airborne (Topic for my final paper) Haha!. Later on during the day I drove to work. When I got in, Aya wasn't working today. I thought to my self, "Bummer" But my emotions were saying "ALLLRIGHT!! WOOHOO!!" During work I saw the 2nd cutest girl at work, she was saying Hi to me. I came to talk to her but... I couldn't say anything. Except How your doing? Thats it... So she found me boring and walked away. I felt like hammering a fist into a wall and crying. I thought to my self " After all these months of understanding these women, I can't say a word.. I can't think of anything... I can't do anything.." I couldn't beileive it. I lost my game, I could not do what made me feel so proud. I felt like such a loser again. Back to my status as a whimpering loser. Later on the sun began to set and I was outside stocking things, then I saw this 28 year old beautiful japanese girl wearing tight clothes coming to me unexpectedly, she said "Here you go" and handed me an item she picked earlier. I stared gently back at her eyes and said "Thanks" and gave her a half smile. She then looked at me so seductively and walked away. At this moment I felt like I was "on fire" again. I had my game back! My co-workers saw what happen and started patting me on the back and pushing me back and forth. It was like I was on the winning team of a football game. But then tragedy struck, this time a group of girls (were cute) came up to me asking me for help. I couldn't say anything... I lost my game for sure. I just couldn't do it.
Maybe I wasn't ment to be a Gentlemen. I thought I could do it, but I now am a Loser who can't even talk to the opposite sex. Maybe this was ment to be. I slowly walked away and stopped what I was doing to take an "Unofficial Break" haha. I knew that I couldn't understand the women no more. Maybe I'm just suppose to let love take its course. I don't understand or know what to do anymore. As I walked passed the benches to go back to work after realizing that maybe I should let love take its course instead of forcing it.
SUDDENLY! I saw a familiar figure sitting on the bench. She was reading a book and everything around her seem to glow and my heart felt like butter. The same feeling I felt on the bus returned. I then walked to take a closer look it was BASU-HERMES!!!! I almost jumped for joy! As I walked towards her, I could feel everything returning. While I was walking by her, I suddenly stopped and looked over my shoulder and said "Hey, that looks like an interesting book. What is it about?" She started to explain it was a Love story about how a man is undecisive about his feelings for a woman and their struggles they go through." I replied "Thats facinating, that reminds me of a story about my friend who was exactly in that situation!" I began to sit next to her and face a little bit away form her. I told her the story and she was like "OMG!" I smirked and gave a half smile, I thought to my self "Gigiddy Giggidy... Alriiight... MY GAME IS BACK!" But as I tried to work my game on her, it was unaffective. She found it interesting for sure of the stories I was telling, but I didn't get her FULL attention. So I then abandoned my game and started to talk with my feelings. We started to talk about astrology and the stars. We were talking about the stupidest things we did and the craziest things. Then I told her about the bus story. I was honest about that. I told her how I felt on the bus and everything. She was shocked at first and then gave a warm smile towards me. Everything was what I hoped and dream for! She was perfect! She was beautiful as ever! She was very intelligent and funny. She didn't look like those girls who tries to dress up like a skank but more as a girl of complexity. She dressed kind of like hermes in densha otoko. As we talked I learned how old she is, "18" :). But mentally I thought how perfect she was! But in my heart, I knew she wasn't the one. I couldn't explain why but she just wasn't the one. She felt the same way too. She said exactly the same thing I did, mentally were perfect for each other and it seemed like everything was perfect! But in our hearts for some reason we felt that we werent the one for each other. I then said, "Well, I have to get back to work" and she said "ok" we said it wa a pleasure meeting each other and will see each other around. I told her "Hey you may never know, fate might bring us to meet each other again". I winked and then walked away while hearing her chuckle in the background. As I walked away, everyone was staring at me though I couldn't figure out why. One of my co-workers came up and said "DUDE! I just saw what happened. Is that your girl friend man? Dang....... She is Hot!!!! Your so lucky dude! She doesn't even look like those girls who try to dress up hot and wear skimpy clothes." I then looked down and laugh a bit and I said, "Shes just a friend" and I walked away.
After all that I couldn't beileve it, the girl I thought to be the one... was actually more of a friend than the girl of my dreams. She was stunning as ever, but just wasn't the one. One day I'll find her. She is out there waiting for me, The girl of my dreams. :wub:
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Post by x_XJules » Dec 10th, '05, 03:59

Valcun wrote:I felt miserable I couldn't beileve it I LOST MY GAME! I felt like falling on my knees and screaming towards the moonlit sky "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
you.. lose... your.. game? not possible. "NOOOOOOO" :lol
Valcun wrote:it was BASU-HERMES!!!!
basu-hermes!! the first post i ever made in the singles ranting thread was about basu-hermes, i had completely forgotten about her!
Valcun wrote:"Shes just a friend" and I walked away.
After all that I couldn't beileve it, the girl I thought to be the one... was actually more of a friend than the girl of my dreams.
I love your maturity, Valcun. You're a good guy.
Valcun wrote:One day I'll find her. She is out there waiting for me, The girl of my dreams. :wub:
LoL, i read the posts in the turn-offs thread. (:lol :lol you really pissed them off!!) according to them such a girl doesn't exsist, but i'm sure you'll find her.

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Post by pwner4once » Dec 10th, '05, 04:14

*cough* okay... it sounds as if Vulcun has finally become a playa :blink :blink

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Atomic
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Post by Atomic » Dec 10th, '05, 04:43

Valcum.. You're 18.. Stop trying to find the "one", and try and find as MUCH chicks as possible.. I'm not telling you to cheat on your gf if you ever get one... I'm just saying don't look for a long term relationship, especially since you're only 18..


btw where the hell do you work?
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Valcun
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Post by Valcun » Dec 10th, '05, 05:02

x_XJules wrote:
Valcun wrote:One day I'll find her. She is out there waiting for me, The girl of my dreams. :wub:
LoL, i read the posts in the turn-offs thread. (:lol :lol you really pissed them off!!) according to them such a girl doesn't exsist, but i'm sure you'll find her.
Haha, That list was just for fun. :P I was just exaggerating. :) Plus I just wanted to see there reaction :mrgreen:

@Atomic
Maybe your right, I am young and still need plenty of expeirence.

@pwner4once

I'm not a player :P Im a gentlemen :cheers: :cheers:
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Post by revolver » Dec 10th, '05, 05:21

Valcun wrote: I'm not a player :P Im a gentlemen :cheers: :cheers:

Haha who said that players can't also be gentlement? Man you sure got your self a nice little job surrounded by cute women. With a job like that you'll have plenty of chances to refine your game.

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Mythrel
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Post by Mythrel » Dec 10th, '05, 05:36

...


to the moderators: I know it seems like a useless post it isn't infact. The three dots represent nothingness, it is exactly the same thing as my long posts, well about as useful.

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Post by revolver » Dec 10th, '05, 05:41

Mythrel wrote:...


to the moderators: I know it seems like a useless post it isn't infact. The three dots represent nothingness, it is exactly the same thing as my long posts, well about as useful.
Whats wrong with you Mythrel? Did some girl just let you down?

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Post by skrhgh3b » Dec 10th, '05, 05:52

today i talked to my ex-girlfriend in tokyo on the phone, and i'm so confused right now because i honestly thought i would never talk to her again. we went through the most drawn-out and, for me at least, painful break up i could imagine going through. in fact, at the very end, she was very cruel to me, and even though i never wanted it, it was slowly becoming easier for me to put her out of my mind. but now she asks me not to be angry at her - i never was - and wants to be friends again. i never wanted to stop being friends, but i'm a little afraid of where this might end up before long. can we really be just friends? why is your friendship with someone doomed from the moment you sleep with them? i've got to start keeping my friends and lovers separate....

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Post by pwner4once » Dec 10th, '05, 06:03

skrhgh3b wrote:today i talked to my ex-girlfriend in tokyo on the phone, and i'm so confused right now because i honestly thought i would never talk to her again. we went through the most drawn-out and, for me at least, painful break up i could imagine going through. in fact, at the very end, she was very cruel to me, and even though i never wanted it, it was slowly becoming easier for me to put her out of my mind. but now she asks me not to be angry at her - i never was - and wants to be friends again. i never wanted to stop being friends, but i'm a little afraid of where this might end up before long. can we really be just friends? why is your friendship with someone doomed from the moment you sleep with them? i've got to start keeping my friends and lovers separate....
it seems she regret her action of hurting you. As far as i can read, i can't infer what she actually have done. anyways, if she wants u to be friend again. then why not just be friends? i mean having another friend wouldn't hurt right? and if u are worrying about the stressful emotional pain, then consider it and make ur choice. for me, i'll be friends with her again. even if u hate her, there is always a saying like "one can be close to friend, but even closer to enemies" THis is an old saying in chinese. so it might not be translated accurately. It seems many ppl on the forum like japanese girls. maybe it's just me or i am just too jealous of u guys?? lol i want a japanese girlfriend too... but i don't even have chinese ppl in our school which sucks.. puff :cry:

as for Jeremiah's update on Cloud. It is sad how he left without a word. But maybe life just changed for him somehow and I hope he had finally graduated from this thread ^^. as it is in Densha Otoko already. All of us can't stay here forever. At once point, we all have to find our own wanting star and fight for it. :-)

btw, here is some update from me. I have 2 weeks of school off. So i will be pretty active on this forum ^^ maybe even active 24/7. so i hope it will be fun!

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Post by Valcun » Dec 10th, '05, 09:26

Mythrel wrote:...


to the moderators: I know it seems like a useless post it isn't infact. The three dots represent nothingness, it is exactly the same thing as my long posts, well about as useful.
Mythrel, Don't hate me. I don't know exactly what to do. I want the game, at the same time I want to find love. Can't I do both? I mean I don't want to always play a game of chess, but my expeirence with the game helped me to have confidence to talk to basu-hermes. Ever since I wussed out on the bus when I saw her, I was determined to gain enough confidence to talk to women at the same time understand them. Now everything I went through to go from Zero to one of the most sociable guys around women, just to talk to basu-hermes is a great accomplishment. I know you don't approve my ways but at the same time I need to better my self with women.

I did learn one thing from basu-hermes, the game isn't everything.
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Post by mokona424 » Dec 10th, '05, 11:04

Valcun-san hey can i ask do u have feelings 4 aya-san?
*if u guys wanna ask wats w/ the -san well i have my manners ya know!*
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Post by mokona424 » Dec 10th, '05, 11:09

i kinda feel dat maybe you and aya-san are both thinking d same things bout each other probably she's still confused if she wants to be in a relationship w/ you dun't you think?
based on your story and details i kinda think dats d kind of pinch your in
you guys are not yet sure what to see each other. because i think that Aya-san might ahve feelings for you if you feel that somtyms she's giving you a sign or a opportunity or somting.
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Post by x_XJules » Dec 10th, '05, 14:23

Mythrel wrote:...


to the moderators: I know it seems like a useless post it isn't infact. The three dots represent nothingness, it is exactly the same thing as my long posts, well about as useful.
I like the long posts better. because about 90% of the time you are my side or we share the same opinion. and everybody knows that two dots are better (and cooler) than three. :P

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Post by slippyepic » Dec 10th, '05, 14:29

Valcun,

Hmm, kinda sounds like your feelings for Aya were actually strongest when she was with the fan boy, and that you were most self-conscious of her effect on you when you couldn't keep up with the other girl.

I guess I get this vibe that you were attracted to her because she was "challenging"; as long as you sense competition for her, she remains very attractive to you. When you say that you two get along, have common interests, and so on, you also seem to be saying "hmm, I completely understand her. She's not mysterious/challenging to me anymore."

I'm not sure whether you actually like yourself with her. Even though you mention that you're very decent, well-behaved around her, you're also disturbed by the lack of power or control you have assuming that role. In that regard, it's as if you dated this person, you would be admitting defeat and take on a persona that bores you and doesn't make you feel like growing.

If the above observations are true, then I think you simply aren't in love with person. Rather, you're more fascinated with how such a popular, attractive person can seem so "nice", so "obvious" to you. I'm afraid if you pursue this relationship with this mindset, it may make you miserable and possibly cruel to her.

Right now, you're highly aware of your ability to be nice and charming to other people, and fascinated with the temptation of being also devious or manipulative. I think you sense in Aya those similar qualities and it kinda disappoints you. She is popular because she's nice and cute, because she befriends easily and demures coyly to other guys.

I think the key question is . . . do you like to be alone? If not, then it's possible that you're actually seeking somebody who is so charismatic, whose personality burns like a lighthouse, who can be popular but yet be perfectly happy -- thrive even -- without other people around her. A person of authentic conviction and with a brilliant spark, even a selfish streak.

It would give you a purpose and meaning in the relationship, to be with somebody who is stronger and bolder than you.

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Post by Atomic » Dec 10th, '05, 15:39

PLEASE PLEASE don't be friends with her.. Just completely NEXT this chick, and move on. She's just going to manipulate you into doing things she wants, or needs, regardless of your feelings for her..
skrhgh3b wrote:today i talked to my ex-girlfriend in tokyo on the phone, and i'm so confused right now because i honestly thought i would never talk to her again. we went through the most drawn-out and, for me at least, painful break up i could imagine going through. in fact, at the very end, she was very cruel to me, and even though i never wanted it, it was slowly becoming easier for me to put her out of my mind. but now she asks me not to be angry at her - i never was - and wants to be friends again. i never wanted to stop being friends, but i'm a little afraid of where this might end up before long. can we really be just friends? why is your friendship with someone doomed from the moment you sleep with them? i've got to start keeping my friends and lovers separate....
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Post by Valcun » Dec 10th, '05, 20:52

slippyepic wrote:Valcun,

Hmm, kinda sounds like your feelings for Aya were actually strongest when she was with the fan boy, and that you were most self-conscious of her effect on you when you couldn't keep up with the other girl.

I guess I get this vibe that you were attracted to her because she was "challenging"; as long as you sense competition for her, she remains very attractive to you. When you say that you two get along, have common interests, and so on, you also seem to be saying "hmm, I completely understand her. She's not mysterious/challenging to me anymore."

I'm not sure whether you actually like yourself with her. Even though you mention that you're very decent, well-behaved around her, you're also disturbed by the lack of power or control you have assuming that role. In that regard, it's as if you dated this person, you would be admitting defeat and take on a persona that bores you and doesn't make you feel like growing.

If the above observations are true, then I think you simply aren't in love with person. Rather, you're more fascinated with how such a popular, attractive person can seem so "nice", so "obvious" to you. I'm afraid if you pursue this relationship with this mindset, it may make you miserable and possibly cruel to her.

Right now, you're highly aware of your ability to be nice and charming to other people, and fascinated with the temptation of being also devious or manipulative. I think you sense in Aya those similar qualities and it kinda disappoints you. She is popular because she's nice and cute, because she befriends easily and demures coyly to other guys.

I think the key question is . . . do you like to be alone? If not, then it's possible that you're actually seeking somebody who is so charismatic, whose personality burns like a lighthouse, who can be popular but yet be perfectly happy -- thrive even -- without other people around her. A person of authentic conviction and with a brilliant spark, even a selfish streak.

It would give you a purpose and meaning in the relationship, to be with somebody who is stronger and bolder than you.
How do you know me so well? :cry:
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Post by Xi@h » Dec 10th, '05, 20:53

Bleh he must be you ;)

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Post by x_XJules » Dec 11th, '05, 00:18

wow, slippyepic, you're either really perceptive or you have experience in that area... or you're psychic.

yea.. i'm gonna go with psychic.

:P (jk)

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Post by Mythrel » Dec 11th, '05, 00:28

Jules I wanted to and thanks but It would have been a long and bitter post (wasn't in the greatest mood anyway) but Valcun I will explain why I felt hurt to even post that. You played me, you told me what I wanted to hear and acted like what I had said or what you had said actually ment something and maybe I was stupid to believe it. I don't know why you even bothered to respond to what I said. Don't think I am stupid, like sure I am not the smartest guy and have never been able to think things a hundred times in my head but i'm not stupid. So play your game, have your fun thats what you are going to do anyway so good luck. I just feel sorry for all the girls you are going to hurt and yourself. At your age you are a bright kid and you were blessed with intelligence but mentally you are still immature. I can't wake that part of you up only you can, I just hope something makes you realize it before its to late. Wow this post is already so bitter and im not actually upset today, good thing I didn't post :lol Love should be natural, if its not its not love its just caculate moves. To the women you will see it will be all too real.

so I shall end this on a cool note, here goes .. oooh your right, two dots is wayyy cooler.
Last edited by Mythrel on Dec 11th, '05, 01:06, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by slippyepic » Dec 11th, '05, 00:53

Bleh he must be you ;)
I'm actually Aya too. And I'm probably you. ;)

But, seriously, my hunch is that Valcun is worried about losing himself in the game. And that is why he really wants to find somebody he can fall in love with, somebody who is so authentic and real that it can make him feel authentic and real.

On paper, he reasons that this should be a very good match since she is attractive, very aggreable, and shares same interests. On paper, he reasons that she is the "perfect match" because they get along so well.

I think the problem is that Aya has become more or less a mirror to Valcun. In the head, this is very good. In the heart, he's fighting it, because what he really wants is to reflect off something that is so charismatic, so powerful that he can find himself. Aya isn't that person.

Without playing too chauvinistically, he essentially wants to be "the woman" in the relationship. He's inclined to use his moves in order to make himself completely agreeable and flexible for the other person. He can shapeshift for the other person. That is Valcun's game, and that's okay.

But, here's the thing. What happens when a shapeshifter works with another shapeshifter? Mostly, you get a situation where both sides are mimicing the other without really investing themselves into the relationship, without really bring themselves out of the chameleon cloak. A perfect aggreeable relationship, but an emotionally and spiritually bankrupt one.

My hunch is that if Valcun meets a proud, probably fiery, very alive, noble and wise woman (i.e. the "perfect guy"), he'll fall madly in love. And not only that, he'll use ALL of his skillset to win this woman because in his mind, he feels such warmth, such energy that he can't help but be close to her.

In other words, the woman he falls for will take him out of his game, out of his element.

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Post by x_XJules » Dec 11th, '05, 02:03

i do agree with mythrel.. love should be natural. and i know i definitely would not appreciate being involved in some pe-planned game. everything has two extremes though. so you have to find a good balance between not being prepared - and planning every single move.

I gotta admit that Valcun has grown up since he first started posting here. you can tell he is learning and growing (and being honest! :thumright: ). but everyone has room for improvement. so encourage.. i'm sure he sees faults in some of us that we can't really see.

:D


edit: slippyepic, do us a favor and NEVER leave this thread. my goodness you're really intelligent. are you into psychology or something?

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Post by slippyepic » Dec 11th, '05, 04:45

Dabbled here and there with psychology, but I think I just got lucky. ;)

As a friend of mine says, "all is fair, and love is war." Love may be a natural feeling, but relationships are hard.

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Post by nicpkh » Dec 11th, '05, 06:27

Hei, i new to these thread, and i still single looking around for some advice on how to date a gal... :D
Hmm this thread seem like the same in Densha Otoko...Issit densha at this thred...?????

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Post by Xi@h » Dec 11th, '05, 07:11

Love is just a kicking butts methodology :P

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Post by Valcun » Dec 11th, '05, 07:38

@slippyepic

Your can read me so well :cry: You exactly know what type of woman I'm looking for too. I guess you can tell that too by how I responded to Hana Yori Dango and the character Makino Tsukushi.

@mythrel

Your so wrong mythrel. I do beileve love should take its course and I shouldn't always think of another move. But see, I'm reframing my self to become more sociable. So unconciously when I talk with someone, I will know what to say on the spot. At the moment I suck at being socialble so I have to think with a plan to get me there. This is just a crutch I use in becoming a social gentlemen.

@Everyone.

I don't like playing the game, I really don't. But if that what it takes to meet my one true love, By all means I will do it. slippy is right on one thing, If I meet the girl of my dreams, I'll leave the game for ever. I only joined the game to find love.
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Post by x_XJules » Dec 11th, '05, 07:46

how is everyone doing tonight?

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Post by Xi@h » Dec 11th, '05, 07:59

Valcun wrote: @Everyone.

I don't like playing the game, I really don't. But if that what it takes to meet my one true love, By all means I will do it. slippy is right on one thing, If I meet the girl of my dreams, I'll leave the game for ever. I only joined the game to find love.
Probably aya-san is for you but you seems unsure about that.
x_XJules wrote:how is everyone doing tonight?
I can't tell.. bored I must say, and the dls today sucks.. dont know why.. downloading rate of Kim Sam Soon at 2kB/s and uploading at >10kB/s.. weird isn't it?

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Post by x_XJules » Dec 11th, '05, 08:41

Jeremiah wrote:I can't tell.. bored I must say, and the dls today sucks.. dont know why.. downloading rate of Kim Sam Soon at 2kB/s and uploading at >10kB/s.. weird isn't it?
ugh, i'm having the same problem. and i'm bored too.

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Post by Xi@h » Dec 11th, '05, 09:52

@Mythrel, Valcun, x_XJules do you use any kind of IM?

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Post by apinseattle » Dec 11th, '05, 11:16

slippyepic wrote:Without playing too chauvinistically, he essentially wants to be "the woman" in the relationship. He's inclined to use his moves in order to make himself completely agreeable and flexible for the other person. He can shapeshift for the other person. That is Valcun's game, and that's okay.

But, here's the thing. What happens when a shapeshifter works with another shapeshifter? Mostly, you get a situation where both sides are mimicing the other without really investing themselves into the relationship, without really bring themselves out of the chameleon cloak. A perfect aggreeable relationship, but an emotionally and spiritually bankrupt one.

My hunch is that if Valcun meets a proud, probably fiery, very alive, noble and wise woman (i.e. the "perfect guy"), he'll fall madly in love. And not only that, he'll use ALL of his skillset to win this woman because in his mind, he feels such warmth, such energy that he can't help but be close to her.
I must say this is one of the most insightful posts I have read in a long long time. However I will warn that most people can't shapeshift forever!
Currently Watching:
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Post by slippyepic » Dec 11th, '05, 13:06

You exactly know what type of woman I'm looking for too. I guess you can tell that too by how I responded to Hana Yori Dango and the character Makino Tsukushi.
I actually see you as a Shizuka kind of person. That is, Shizuka from the manga.
What I like about Makino is how, for showing such a strong, feisty front, she is still insecure enough to sometimes string guys on or use people a little to belong. That's how we are; we become strong as a defense against getting hurt. And if we're afraid of getting hurt, are we really that strong?
I don't like playing the game, I really don't. But if that what it takes to meet my one true love, By all means I will do it. slippy is right on one thing, If I meet the girl of my dreams, I'll leave the game for ever. I only joined the game to find love.
Don't hate the playa. Hate the game! ;)

Really, there's a wide moral latitude when men interact with women. And, usually, it's a reflection of how you are with everybody. If you practice misogyny or negative chauvinism against women, you probably like to control your friends too. Many socially popular men actually do well because they begin with the assumption that the woman wants to have fun with them too. You have a good time; they have a good time; no apologies.

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Post by Mythrel » Dec 12th, '05, 00:34

Ya I used Msn, but I used to never go on it. Ive found myself on it everyday lately lol.

Edit: If you want it just pm me ill send you my addy.

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Post by Valcun » Dec 12th, '05, 07:05

@everyone
Today I saw Aya-san at work. Except she was a few stations down behind me. I never really got to talk to her today. I had one chance, but luckily I chickened out. My supervisor was right around the corner! But I've decided. I don't want to do the game anymore. If anything is going to happen between me and Aya-san, let love take its course. Other than that I'll just let everything flow and I'll sit back. I guess I'll try an be her friend rather than "shape shift". I never really been a girls friend before. I always gamed them, but this will be my first! I'll just wait and see what happens.

@Jeremiah, I already PM'd you my sn for AIM, PM me back if you want my MSN or my YIM. Btw, Don't bother with x_XJules, cause she never goes on aim ne'ways hahaha! :P
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Post by Xi@h » Dec 12th, '05, 09:23

@Mythrel, thanks :) pm'd you

@Valcun, well.. I do hope that everything will go fine between you and aya-san. Cross fingers!! :) Keep it up!! LoL I think Jules is busy these days. Pm'd you

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Post by mokona424 » Dec 12th, '05, 10:40

Gambatte Valcun-san
we're in d same situation:D
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Post by nicpkh » Dec 12th, '05, 10:53

Yo got any great news happening at here.....???
:goggle:

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Post by mokona424 » Dec 12th, '05, 10:55

eh? i have news but it's kinda long
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Post by nicpkh » Dec 12th, '05, 11:00

Ohh What kind of news... Mind to share with us ....
:D

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Post by mokona424 » Dec 12th, '05, 11:08

hmm
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Post by mokona424 » Dec 12th, '05, 11:12

well hir goes if u read d 1st pages of d thread there's dis guy i kinda have mixed feelings w/ but i'm just kinda curious if he's really going 4 me
well i got a little smarter and conrnered him in his own game so there there was dis video game he was having a hard time to play i told him i'll print him a stategy guide if he tells me wat he should have tell me but he sed he really can't so d next day i told him dat he should give me a very good reason why haha it was like giving him an essay i told him to write it down somwere i still have d paper:D
if u guys wanna know dat i'll post it next tym
Last edited by mokona424 on Dec 12th, '05, 12:25, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Ruroshin » Dec 12th, '05, 11:38

I merged the 2 dating threads together. I originally locked the first one when it reached 100 pages but now I'm doing an experiment and I need real life data on topic length...so make this topic as big as you want :D

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Post by techie » Dec 12th, '05, 11:43

Ruroshin wrote:I merged the 2 dating threads together. I originally locked the first one when it reached 100 pages but now I'm doing an experiment and I need real life data on topic length...so make this topic as big as you want :D
Ahem... your experiment is prolly going overboard with the sub thread on HyD :rofl:

To stay on topic, after seeing some thread posts in here, I'm pretty happy I'm not to active about anything like this right now.

Dorama is all the heartache you need in a day, and it's enough for me.
Wouldn't wanna go through all that r/l as well.
:blink $zipCode = strtoupper($zipCode); // it is not the case of being sensitive... XD

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Post by Ruroshin » Dec 12th, '05, 11:45

I wonder how long it will take the HYD topic will over take this one :-) well having multiple large topic is good for my experiment 8) do your worst :fear:

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Post by nicpkh » Dec 12th, '05, 17:27

well hir goes if u read d 1st pages of d thread there's dis guy i kinda have mixed feelings w/ but i'm just kinda curious if he's really going 4 me
well i got a little smarter and conrnered him in his own game so there there was dis video game he was having a hard time to play i told him i'll print him a stategy guide if he tells me wat he should have tell me but he sed he really can't so d next day i told him dat he should give me a very good reason why haha it was like giving him an essay i told him to write it down somwere i still have d paper:D
if u guys wanna know dat i'll post it next tym
Yea i really want to know it... wat happen next... :D

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Post by Mythrel » Dec 12th, '05, 18:07

Ya mokona424, I'm kinda curious, but im nosy XD

Jeremiah I added you to my list :lol How goes the recovery? Get lots of balloons and cards? I wouldn't imagion there being a card for both tendons, but who knows they probably got a card for any situation heh.

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Post by Xi@h » Dec 12th, '05, 21:52

Mythrel, the recovery going smooth, don't feel much pain now but still I feel awkward when walking. Balloons and cards? In my dreams only :P I'm a very lonesome guy, so no sharing of pain and sorrows. Unlike you, have admirers everywhere but still you're single XD

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Post by x_XJules » Dec 12th, '05, 21:53

Valcun wrote:Don't bother with x_XJules, cause she never goes on aim ne'ways hahaha! :P
well you know what Valcun, i totally just logged into aim to spite you! muahahahaha! :P

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Post by nicpkh » Dec 13th, '05, 03:12

@Jeremiah Sorry for asking... but i wanna know what happen to you.. cos i lazy to read from the beginning hehe..Issit you been dumped by someone...

Hei guys i wanna ask does love really blind.. :D

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Post by gsr_raver » Dec 13th, '05, 03:14

Hey guys, i should be studying for the Finals but, i just wanna say wassup to ya!!!!!!!! i haven't got the time to read your post... i notice it went pretty fast!!

Wellz maybe during the winter break i caught up!
COME ON OVER!, Spirits
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なぜベストを尽くさないのか?

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Post by nicpkh » Dec 13th, '05, 03:17

@gsr_raver, Yo ur final coming ar.. GAMBATE NE then... I am sure we all at here wish you the best

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Hello.

Post by slackstation » Dec 13th, '05, 03:52

Hi. I've just finished Densha and was looking around on the forums and I found this. I was over-joyed to see and I seriously did my best of trying to read it all up to now but, I really wanted to post and introduce myself and maybe tell a bit of my story.

I'm 24 (just turned 24 yesterday) and I'm a web designer. I'm an otaku of sorts into all sorts of things. I'm into Anime and Manga but, increasingly I'm a Japanese Culture - otaku. I'm not that strong of an otaku and most of what I do is at home and with some friends... err. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm pretty casual otaku. I really liked Densha and yet it kinda scared me as I realized that I haven't really had a serious relationship in my 24 years. I'm usually the guy giving advice; I'm recovering from the whole nice-guy, just-a-male-friend thing that I had with girls since high school.

I always thought I was anti-social in high school but, like many of so called anti-social people, I hung out with a bunch of other anti-social people. But, in college because of changes I was going through or because of stuff that my family was going though, I started to actually be that anti-social persona that I always thought of myself as being.

What's weird is I kinda see myself not doing the advice I give to other people. At the root of it, I guess I'm just scared of being rejected or forgotten or just ultimately not being desirable. But, I have come to see that fear and I'm begining to step back into society and face that fear of rejection. 2006 seems like it's going to be my year.

Thanks for this thread everyone.

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Post by Xi@h » Dec 13th, '05, 05:08

nicpkh wrote:@Jeremiah Sorry for asking... but i wanna know what happen to you.. cos i lazy to read from the beginning hehe..Issit you been dumped by someone...

Hei guys i wanna ask does love really blind.. :D
Wot??

Dumped?? Not yet dear friend lol

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Re: Hello.

Post by Valcun » Dec 13th, '05, 10:45

slackstation wrote:Hi. I've just finished Densha and was looking around on the forums and I found this. I was over-joyed to see and I seriously did my best of trying to read it all up to now but, I really wanted to post and introduce myself and maybe tell a bit of my story.

I'm 24 (just turned 24 yesterday) and I'm a web designer. I'm an otaku of sorts into all sorts of things. I'm into Anime and Manga but, increasingly I'm a Japanese Culture - otaku. I'm not that strong of an otaku and most of what I do is at home and with some friends... err. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm pretty casual otaku. I really liked Densha and yet it kinda scared me as I realized that I haven't really had a serious relationship in my 24 years. I'm usually the guy giving advice; I'm recovering from the whole nice-guy, just-a-male-friend thing that I had with girls since high school.

I always thought I was anti-social in high school but, like many of so called anti-social people, I hung out with a bunch of other anti-social people. But, in college because of changes I was going through or because of stuff that my family was going though, I started to actually be that anti-social persona that I always thought of myself as being.

What's weird is I kinda see myself not doing the advice I give to other people. At the root of it, I guess I'm just scared of being rejected or forgotten or just ultimately not being desirable. But, I have come to see that fear and I'm begining to step back into society and face that fear of rejection. 2006 seems like it's going to be my year.

Thanks for this thread everyone.
@slackstation
Hi! Don't worry we all feel your pain. You READ all the pages? Wow! Thats a whopping 130, I don't want to say or write any more. Your brain must be fried! :P

@Everyone

Today, will live in infamy
Today was not so much of a good day, It started off this morning with me doing my last minute studies before my math final. As I got to college, I parked my car and started studying some more in my car. Around 10 minutes before my class I got out and got some fresh air and relax before the quiz began. After an hour an a half passed by on my final, there was this one problem! it was so hard but yet so easy! I spent half an hour on this problem! I remember the problem so well because I was frustrated with it. I don't even know where this question came from either, was never in the cirriculum

The johnsons want to buy a wide-screen tv. The sale tax is 8%. They want to spend only 1000 Dollars, No more. What is the max amount of money they could spend?
(From here on is my thoughts in my head while doing this problem )
So I go, hmmm..... 0.08X + X = 1000
2X= 1000/0.08

err noo...

0.08X + X = 1000
X= 1000 - 0.08X

ACK.. NOOOO

0.08X + X = 1000
x2 = 1000/0.08

NOOOO, I can't have x squared!


OKAY THAT IS IT, I"M SO SICK OF THIS PROBLEM I AM LEAVING..
Oh wait...

0.08X + X = 1000
(0.08 + 1)X = 1000
X=1000/1.08

TADA!!! BINGO!!! SHABOOOMMMM TAKE THAT!!! EAT IT! EAT IT! EAT IT!!!
All I had to do was factor! Duh!!! I can't beileve I almost couldn't solve this lower level math problem! haha! :thumleft:

Anyway after that I tried to study for my psychology Final Exam tommorrow. Along the way I saw DspR on AIM and chatted to him for a few. Then went to work

By this time I started to have symptoms of a fever, my nose was running. My body felt so awkward I felt like I was going to sneeze my brain out or something. But quick flash back. For the past couple of days I've been partnered up with this snobby cold, kinda cute girl. When I was partnered up with her, she didn't even introduce her self. She was totally rude and impolite. So I was like "Okay" and continued working. Back to the present! I got partnered up with her AGAIN for the 3rd friggin day. I'm totally sick and have a psych final exam to study for and now I'm paired up with this cold, rude girl! I mean I tried talking to her, but she has this "in my face" attitude. So now I'm working and Aya-san isn't even working today which is a bummer. I haven't gamed in so long and I barely even game anymore for the past weeks. My social awareness atm is totally diminished. I decided to let love take its course. So a couple hours pass, I came worse with my sickness. I started getting dizzy and couldn't think clearly, plus I had to run everywhere to do tasks which are usually "on the other side of the building" never somewhere near by. Then suddenly, Aya-san walked in. It was the first time I saw her in casual clothes! She looked so cute, specially with her hair down too. "But what is she doing here on her day off?" I wondered. So sort of walked passed me a couple times and stood maybe a station near by me talking with a co-worker. Then all of a sudden, she started walking towards me. I was thinking to my self "Alright heres my chance. Its HAMMER TIME BABY!" She came closer and closer. Only a few feet away! Time to open my mouth and say something! She then says "Hi". Then right before I could say something, the girl that has been so cold to me replied "Hi" Back. Aya-san was talking to her not me :cry: . I felt like falling down, like in the animes :-P. But then I realized something, this wasn't a casual conversation they were having. It was more intimate, like if they knew each other. MORE LIKE FRIENDS! I was so mad and I realized something through my rage. Even though I wasn't gaming Aya, she was gaming me. "I'm sorry Mythrel" I said to my self, "But this is war, I'm going to game! Its on!!" Aya was using her "friend" to test me. To check me out. Girls are so CRUEL! they do this to guys! and the guys don't even know they are being tested! But I did, because I have "the game". Now I know why this girl was being so cold and rude to me. Why she was so nice to everyone else except me! Because she was testing me! "SO EVIL!" I thought to my self. So now I screwed up everything! Since I wasn't gaming, I didn't know I was being gamed! I forgot that girls mostly game, Not guys!. Now I have a bad relationship with Aya's friend. If I don't get a good vibe with aya's friend, my mission has turn to impossible. A girl who likes a guy usually gets her friend to scope him out to see if he is "worthy" or not. If you fail the friends approval, you fail getting the girl. So I tried to game Aya's friend. She was a tough one I tell'ya. But after 4 hours of gaming her, I finally broke through the COLD BARRIER! Hooray!!!!! :cheers: I hope I got enough points with her friend. Plus I always ran into Aya for some odd reason while I was in the store.

Anyways, I took some Tylenol and it seems my fever is dieing down. I still got to study a little more on my psychology final. I hope I don't get sick tommorrow and miss the test and WORK! :pale:

Edit: I'm sorry mythrel but I realized something today. Sure I can't FORCE love and I shouldn't game on girls because its cruel on them (sometimes). But I can't WAIT for love either. I can't sit around hoping everyday. I realized that sure I'm a guy and I can game on girls. But what I forgot was rule #2 in the handbook. ALL girls naturally, have the "game" whether they realize it or not and are social creatures. Guys don't "usually" have the game and are not to much social creatures. So I'm sorry but I have to game. I realize that without the game, I'll have no social connections with men and women. Plus I rather it be me that breaks a girls heart because I'd just tell it right from the begining that it might not work out. Plus I don't use and abuse women like other guys do. Most women go out with guys who are "crazy" and use & abuse women. Either that or I'm saving them because all they go through day to day are guys who try to suck up to them by doing everything to their bidding.
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Post by Mythrel » Dec 13th, '05, 18:37

Hey Valcun I am dissapointed but meh I'll get over it. I do however have faith in you and think with the right head on your shoulders you can get through this without resorting to becoming a player. Look, did it ever occur to you that maybe she was cold to you because she maybe picked up being friends with Aya that she likes you? Maybe she doesn't want to give you the wrong impression. I mean what if you did try to game this friend? Do you think when she told Aya that things would be peachy? You need to pick and choose your battles. I think its unhealthy to try and go after every girl you see just to feel her out. If there isn't a spark from the start then don't try so hard to make one. Look Im not saying to just go out there and let the women approach you or not make an effort to get a girl. You have to lay down the footwork but you need to find a balance. I understand your lonelyness I haven't ever really had a serious relationship and my last relationship was 6 years ago. You are going through a difficult time in your life I understand i've been there just about every guy has but you need to relax. Don't let your drives cloud your judgement. You will find love but don't force it. Don't play woman against women to make them come to you it will only drive them away once they see it for themselves. Women don't always game my friend don't think that. Women know they have power over men and to be honest in this day and age they really don't even need us. Why not just ask out Aya? Why not ask out anyone else that you feel comfertable around? Is it because you are afraid that something better will come along like bus hermes? Why did you game her friend btw? If she was cold and rude is that the type you like? Again you need to be able to pick and choose your battles.

BTW not everyone games. There is always a testing water phase but either you jump in or don't but you are trying to put your foot in every spot of the pool before you jump in. You are doing a lot more work then is necessary. Look what I ment when I said that let love come naturally is not to do nothing but to test the waters with a girl and if you see something then go for it but don't go after 100 women to test them all out to go after 1 because you might even lose that one special one in the process who you either overlook or gets fed up with your game. I have shouldered a lot of tears over the years from jerks so my faith in men only dwindles.. Don't make me lose even more hope. Evolve become something bigger then you. Find true love and fight for it but don't turn it into a game. It shouldn't be easy or 50% of married couples in north americans would still be together.

Edit: BTW you are not saving them, physical abuse is an issue that women feel over powered by the men(and they usually still love them even though). You are over powering them maybe not through physical power but mentally(They will still love you too). So Im not trying to say its the same but its not right either IMO. If she was gaming you how did it feel? from your reaction not very nice..

slippyepic
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Post by slippyepic » Dec 13th, '05, 19:27

What's weird is I kinda see myself not doing the advice I give to other people. At the root of it, I guess I'm just scared of being rejected or forgotten or just ultimately not being desirable. But, I have come to see that fear and I'm begining to step back into society and face that fear of rejection. 2006 seems like it's going to be my year.
Good for you, mate. Got any prospects down the pike? :)
Then all of a sudden, she started walking towards me. I was thinking to my self "Alright heres my chance. Its HAMMER TIME BABY!"
2 legit 2 quit. LOL
But then I realized something, this wasn't a casual conversation they were having. It was more intimate, like if they knew each other. MORE LIKE FRIENDS! I was so mad and I realized something through my rage. Even though I wasn't gaming Aya, she was gaming me.
Ah, and see, this is actually one problem with being a player. You begin to think other people have the same intentions as you and think like you. Maybe she does, but right now, you're seeing a lot of yourself in her without really separating her difference. But, then again, maybe she is tweaking you.
was using her "friend" to test me. To check me out.
FWIW, women rarely try that technique. It's more likely a man will talk to a girl's best friend in order to read how the principal person feels. Also, your stated jealousy against a female again implies that *you* want to be pursued by her, i.e. the woman in the relationship. You have a strong desire to get her attention and you see anybody else vying for hers as a competitive situation.
Now I know why this girl was being so cold and rude to me. Why she was so nice to everyone else except me! Because she was testing me!
And, see, how do you know she's singling you out? How do you know that it's your ego that's so hungry for her attention that it makes you think that she's alienating you?
I forgot that girls mostly game, Not guys!. Now I have a bad relationship with Aya's friend.
That's a tough one, actually. Girls have a more complex, social network, and they're more into subtext, but that doesn't mean they're gaming. Guys on the other hand mostly definitely game, because they have end-goals in mind. Even the nice guy, who is being "himself", is gaming (albeit using the wrong one.)

Basically, the problem is most young guys feel that they most go out of it "alone", whereas young women like to be in groups. Men realize later -- much later -- that the best way to meet women is with a wingman, just as women become more comfortable being alone casually with a man they don't know that well. The boy wants to get the girl alone; the girl wants the boy to become part of the group.

What Valcun should have done was suck it up and socialize with both of the girls. If Aya was testing Valcun, then obviously she was using her friend as a winglady in order to establish a higher field of position. He shouldn't bite. Rather, he should join the group rather than break from it. Very young male players want control of the situation, and when they lose it, they assume that the other people was making a detrimental power play. That is, they project.

But, Aya may simply be meeting her friend and maybe, lately, she feels more comfortable with than yourself. Guys should find a way to become a center of attention through entertaining the group and then demonstrating that a guy such as Valcun would be comfortable in a girl's social circle.

I think Valcum is projecting his feelings onto Aya. It's not so much about playing the game or playing the field right now; Valcun is hungry for her attention that he doesn't see that he's losing himself in this other person.

Let's put it this way. If Valcun truly could separate himself from Aya, could really have a clear head about who he is around her and see the situation objectively, then he could use his charm and evaluate the playing field without prejudice.

But he can't. He's playing passive. His notion of playing love is somehow hoping Aya would see the goodness in him and come to her senses. His notion of her being the one is that Aya seems to have a strong likeness to him, even though she's probably still quite different from him. Aya may or may not have feelings; Aya may or may not be right for you; but right now, the person he's fighting is himself.

Let's put it this way; I don't know whether Valcun could really play the game with her. I think, if he tried, it would confuse him even more. Then, at that point, he'd be resolved to move on or get away from her, rather than put himself into a hole with this.

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Post by Valcun » Dec 13th, '05, 23:35

@slippyepic
Your right, I do feel like I'm losing a part of my self everytime I game. I broke the basic rules of the game already.. I'm never to be obessed or have one-itis towards one girl. I'm never suppose to have any feelings towards girls. DONT GAME AT WORK. I don't know what to do anymore. Slippy, I feel like the more I game, the more confused I get. This has been happening even before Aya. I don't know anymore. I feel that everytime I game, the void I feel inside expands. I haven't even told my sempai's who I met and know the game as to (They are around 24 to 27. I'm the Youngest in the Group) what I've been doing lately. Your right, I should have a wingman everytime I go out there to meet women. I do have wingmans that know about the game and I can call up. But in this social situation/setting, Its at work and it is my new job. I barely know anyone there, except one person who I've met from high school. No one at work knows about the game, so they can't possibly be my wingman. I'm just going to eject already. I need time to reframe my self and some space. Btw, trust me she was only being cold to me. She would even greet and be friendly to all the other new people. As towards jumping in the conversation that aya and her friend had, it was a quick conversation because we were busy at the moment was was having a rush. I mean I could of jumped in the convo like i'm trained to. But at work, work is first :cry:

I feel like Anakin, I'm being seduced into the dark side. But I don't know what the dark side is neither do I know what the Light side is.

and HAH! I knew you were a PUA, any PUA can sniff another out. Right from the begining on your first post I knew :P. Can't hide that fact from me 8)

@Mythrel
I'm sorry, I read your posts constantly and almost everyday. Even though I understand what your writing. I some how don't REALLY understand it. I try so hard to understand, but I just get more confused. On one hand I have the game and what you say is totally the opposite. I don't know which is right and which is wrong.

I'll start from the begining. In high school, I liked this girl for around a year and a half. I always tried to get her attention and always was a good friend to her. One of my best friends who was a quarter back of the football team was a good friend of hers too. Months passed and I noticed she hung around my best friend more than me. I thought this was odd at first, but then I figured it was nothing. When prom came around, I asked her to it. She told me "Aww, your so sweet. BUT I was thinking of going with someone else." I was devistated. Later that day my best friend asked her to the prom and she said "Aww, Okay! :D". Then I said, well its just prom. I still can probably ask her out I guess. Later on my best friend and her started going out. I was just left on the side lines to watch.
Later on about 6 months later. I already graduated and I've been riding on the bus to college for only a few weeks. Then I saw basu-hermes. I couldn't say anything because I chickened out at the same time had a choice to make, my exams or gamble on "possibly" talking to her. But alas, I was on the sidelines again watching the game. I felt as if I couldn't do anything. Then I was introduced to the GAME. I started to improve my self and be better in social situations. Instead of being on the sidelines I was actually in the GAME! Later on I found a small group of guys who were into the GAME too! We started sharing tips and strategies. Some of the guys were even better than me! Then I got a new job. After reading mythrels post I got confused on what I was doing. If it was morally correct. I started to question if I was forcing love or not? Am I really hurting women? Also mythrels friend who also used to be in the game posted on here. Maybe what I was doing is wrong But at the same time its correct! I'm now transforming into a social creature. But is these social heirarchy and society consuming me? I decided to do something I never did before. I saw Aya-san, I was in the game at first... But I started to break rules and started thinking about it. (I'm sorry mythrel if I took your advice out of context. You can kick me in the rear if you'd like :cry: )

I don't know, I feel that I'm losing my self at the same time being consumed. I feel like Pvt. Pile from full metal jacket. "What is your MAJOR MALFUNCTION, NUMBNUTS!? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child? "
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Post by x_XJules » Dec 14th, '05, 00:10

Valcun wrote:I feel like Pvt. Pile from full metal jacket. "What is your MAJOR MALFUNCTION, NUMBNUTS!? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child? "
Sergeant: How tall are you, private?
Pvt. Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir!
Sergeant: Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked sh!t that high.

:lol XD :rofl:

man, what a crazy movie.

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