SINGLES RANTING THREAD (Dating Advice)

The real life drama forum. Discuss your relationships or get to know the other members here.
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x_XJules
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Post by x_XJules » Nov 12th, '05, 10:03

son_yejin wrote:Hey jules!

How are you? I'm good!!
I remember talking to you at the pictures thread!
Huge thread this is, and man..each post seems to be super long! but hey, the advice you get over here beats that of counsellors man!
Woah, we people are great!
I'm doing wonderfully! this is a huge thread, i joined fairly recently so i haven't read all 95 pages. i can't believe one of the new kids did in 6 hours.. absolutely amazing.
and i agree, we people ARE great!

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Post by gibonite » Nov 12th, '05, 10:51

hello everyone.
Hum... nothing really new here... hum in fact yes... He said that he still love me... But he can't break up with his grilfriend ans his life for now... I have to wait for him... it's hard... but i try to keep on smiling :)
I'm waiting for the days he'll come by me...

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Post by son_yejin » Nov 12th, '05, 12:37

x_XJules wrote:
I'm doing wonderfully! this is a huge thread, i joined fairly recently so i haven't read all 95 pages. i can't believe one of the new kids did in 6 hours.. absolutely amazing.
and i agree, we people ARE great!
Thats great, you're well and good =)
Haha..i'd probably die if i had to read all 95 pages, the fact that every page has postings which are super long, makes it that much harder to finish!
and someone actually read it in 6hours!!!! :mrgreen:
amazing.. so what's happening around here? other than dishing advice and all that is!

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Post by Xi@h » Nov 12th, '05, 20:34

I think I've made a terrible blunder... :-(

First blunder: I've asked her (yesterday night) if she's free today afternoon, because I wanted to go to the Infotech with her, so she replied (today morning) that's she's sorry, she got my text late and if she knew about it, she would have come to town and she asked me what time I'll go and I've forgot to replied to her because I've got my cousin visiting me.

Second blunder: Her dad is coming to see me tomorrow before noon and I've asked her if she'll come too, she said she'll probably come and she asked me why? And I didn't know to answer back and I just replied "Oh okay then, see you tomorrow. Good night"

Damn me!

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Post by Mythrel » Nov 12th, '05, 21:35

gibonite things turned out not so bad :) Its good you are going to let them have their run thats a mature move. Good things come to those who wait.


Jeremiah!! Hey man don't sweat it. I mean the first one you had no control over really. Like you could have messaged her earlier but things happen. Asking her to come with him is kind of a weird move. You could always have something prepared for her like something with her project? Something you maybe have of hers you would like to return (I know you could have given it to her father but you could make it up like a stupid mistake). I guess just try to get in touch with her tonight and set something up for tomorrow so it gives you something to fall back on. Good luck im sure you can pull something out of your hat :lol .


@son_yejin Long time no spam? :cry: hehe. OK maybe I do post here a lot :P

@Jules: So how goes things? the three stooges leaving you alone?

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Post by insaine » Nov 12th, '05, 22:25

Yuh all ! :cheers:

So happy to find a thread like that ! i'm used to advise people around me and i hope i can help some people here too.

I present myself quickly. i'm a french polynesian living alone in france. I study electronic and computer science engineering in Paris. I'm cheerful and a good adviser, i'll do my best to help you with your problem.

But wait for me, i have to read 95 pages :blink . i'll hurry ! :salut:

ps : excuse my english, like many french i'm so bad at speaking other's language :pale:, i'll do my best to be understandable :salut:

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Post by gibonite » Nov 12th, '05, 23:17

Insaine wrote:Yuh all ! :cheers:

So happy to find a thread like that ! i'm used to advise people around me and i hope i can help some people here too.

I present myself quickly. i'm a french polynesian living alone in france. I study electronic and computer science engineering in Paris. I'm cheerful and a good adviser, i'll do my best to help you with your problem.

But wait for me, i have to read 95 pages :blink . i'll hurry ! :salut:

ps : excuse my english, like many french i'm so bad at speaking other's language :pale:, i'll do my best to be understandable :salut:
salut comment ca va :D je vais pas abuser en te parlant en francais, ca serait trop... "privé" mais bref, juste pour le clin d'oeil quoi :D

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Post by crazifan » Nov 12th, '05, 23:55

Hi I'm new, i have a situation plz help : )

i like this girl, and we're friends and all, but like sometimes i get the feelnig she doesn't know i exist. i see her every day and i wait for her to say hi, but she never does. when she does say hi, it makes me so happy. i don't know what to do.

i don't really know if i like her or not. recently she's started talking to me more. what should i DO?!!

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Post by insaine » Nov 13th, '05, 00:15

@gibonite : salut a toi aussi :mrgreen:

@ crazyfan : Hi :salut:
i'm new too in that thread, but i can try to help. First you have to think about what are your felling about her, this situation last for a long time? If you're not sure that you like her, try to be a good friend to begin with and to be closer to her. :thumright:

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Post by Strider » Nov 13th, '05, 03:18

pwner4once wrote:u got it wrong man
it's not like i really like her or anything even though i did write i have a thing for her. wat i am angry about is rather having a normal life with other people respecting u. everytime i talk to her, she'll be frustrated or something. everytime i am trying to ask her about school work and stuff. she'll either explain it in a very speedy way or simply saying find someone else to ask. i don't think she likes me at all. rather seems me as a ignorant person. all i can think right now is how to make them repsect me more.
Sorry if I jump to any conclusions, but you seem to really care about her opinion more than anyone else. I can understand the feeling of people ignoring/disrespecting you makes you angry, but you shouldn't really care what other people think... The fact of the matter is that it came from someone you "use" to like/care about which brings it to what you’re feeling inside. I'm sure you don't deserve to be treated like this and would like to resolve this problem... but like I said why don't you try talking to her and see how it goes from there... Look for something interesting to say (i.e. previous things I mentioned) and if she asks you "why do you care" just say because "I care and I want to know about your..."

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Post by Strider » Nov 13th, '05, 04:15

gibonite wrote:hello everyone.
Hum... nothing really new here... hum in fact yes... He said that he still love me... But he can't break up with his grilfriend ans his life for now... I have to wait for him... it's hard... but i try to keep on smiling :)
I'm waiting for the days he'll come by me...
That's a very strange answer, more like a double edge sword as it can be interpreted into 2 different ways. The good part for you is that he still in love with you and needs time to think about how to make amends with his current girlfriend/his life situation, which is a big step toward you. You shouldn't feel too bad for the other girl, this isn't anyone's fault, as the heart doesn't lie...
As for the bad, time... like Densha says "time passes quickly when you with the one you love, but stands still when you’re waiting for them." Time changes everyone, for the better or worse... it often cast doubt on the past but sheds light toward the future.
Have you ever heard of the recent term "Backup plan" it seems that everyone has one... and I'm thinking I might be someone's... I hope this doesn't apply to you... you know him better than you think so I'm sure you'll know the answer to that. But it's pretty unfair for you three to wait... then again he may have circumstances we don't know about... Hopefully everything will turn out ok, the sooner the better.

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Post by pwner4once » Nov 13th, '05, 04:23

thanks for the suggestion strider. i'll try to see if it works out.

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Post by Strider » Nov 13th, '05, 04:31

Jeremiah wrote:I think I've made a terrible blunder... :-(

First blunder: I've asked her (yesterday night) if she's free today afternoon, because I wanted to go to the Infotech with her, so she replied (today morning) that's she's sorry, she got my text late and if she knew about it, she would have come to town and she asked me what time I'll go and I've forgot to replied to her because I've got my cousin visiting me.

Second blunder: Her dad is coming to see me tomorrow before noon and I've asked her if she'll come too, she said she'll probably come and she asked me why? And I didn't know to answer back and I just replied "Oh okay then, see you tomorrow. Good night"

Damn me!
O noes! I'm sure everything will turn out ok.

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Post by Strider » Nov 13th, '05, 05:19

crazifan wrote:Hi I'm new, i have a situation plz help : )

i like this girl, and we're friends and all, but like sometimes i get the feelnig she doesn't know i exist. i see her every day and i wait for her to say hi, but she never does. when she does say hi, it makes me so happy. i don't know what to do.

i don't really know if i like her or not. recently she's started talking to me more. what should i DO?!!
Why don't you initiate the conversation? "Hi, how's it going?", "Omg, did you see...", "Something bothering you?" etc. Instead of her breaking the ice, you should always do it, she might have something to say but may not know how to put it into words, and being a good friend will put her at ease that she could talk to you about anything. Do you like her? It's not as simple as yes and no question basically it’s a slue of questions, but to some it up, at the end of day ask yourself "What's the highlight of today?" Getting recognition from an entire server for finding the only epic (rare) item in World of Warcraft, winning a top notch alienware computer from a raffle contest, being a good samaritan by picking up someone else's litter and finding $100 bucks, or having a conversation with her for 2 hours about how a cat could beat up a dog any day of the week... the thing that makes you happy/smile will be your answer.

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Post by x_XJules » Nov 13th, '05, 05:30

I had a bad day :-(

i was hoping to get a chance to read all your posts before i had to leave.. but i wasn't able to finish..

so in short

jeremiah - You have NOT messed up. i haven't read the details but you are too kind-hearted to really screw things up; you're probably just being nervous and too hard on yourself.

gbonite - you're very mature. i totally respect you for it.

mythrel - thanks for asking!! i'll have quite a bit to rant about when i get back.

hopefully i'll see you guys in 2 days. take care everyone!

p.s. i feel like i'm going into a battle....
aza aza! fighting!

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Post by son_yejin » Nov 13th, '05, 07:06

Hey Mythrel..

Haha..just an icebreaker, 'long time no spam', though i didnt mean it in the literal sense =)

Jules, you seem kinda flustered.
Hope everything's alright at your side. Fighting!

Shout out to everyone here, can't be here long, but will be checking by every few days or so!

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Post by Xi@h » Nov 13th, '05, 15:46

Update:

Remember that her dad have to meet me today before noon? And I've texted her if she'll come and she answered she'll probably come? Well, she did come but her dad just left her and go to town. Good God, she's cuter than ever.. just telling you about today, my heart keep pounding hard :)

Let's get back to today event. The OS on his dad laptop got corrupted so that's why her dad have to meet me today, but instead she came, so far so good for me :) As I format and reinstalled everything, she started playing FIFA 06, woow I didn't know that she like to play this game!! Well, another common point, she plays like a pro!! After 45mins, her dad came with her mother and little brother, they remain downstairs and they have a little talk with my mother. So I asked her what's she gonna do after, she said she'll go with her family on the "Doulos" the great library boat and she asked me if I've already visited the boat. The answer was an obvious no. So she asked me if I wanted to come, I replied if that don't bother her and her family, then her mother came upstairs and asked me the same question and I replied the same answer LOL. Meanwhile, she kept playing but now her little brother wanted to play against her sister. So I just plug in my joypad and they started to play. Geez, they may look sister and brother but while playing FIFA, they're pure rivals but they're so good at it. After some minutes, her mother went downstairs and asked my mother if she'll come, who came to me to ask me if I'm going (of course I'm going, especially being with her all day long). So it's decided my mother and I will go with them. :D

I finished the installation and check up, we arrived on the quay (at about 1h45pm) and embark on the "Doulos". There was so many people that we have to be close to each other while waiting for getting the tickets. So she and I talked a bit about her future projects, what she intend to do in life. In short, I've asked her so many questions about her, which she promptly answered back. I've got to know her favourite food, her hobbies and nearly about her future plans. Then I asked her when she'll be on holiday if she doesn't mind to go out with me (go night club dancing - of course, I'm going to have another couple with us, my cousin and his wife), so promptly replied, no problem, just give me a call :) YATAAAA!!!!! She's okay with that.

About the KINO thingy, when we were visiting the cabins etc, I just tapped her on her shoulder when the guide asked us to move on, but I didn't hold her hand (I guess it's a bit too quick). When her dad decided to take a picture of us, I just get closer to her, skin to skin (her right hand and my left hand touching each other). We left the "Doulos" at about 5h54pm. I was so sad but I kept smiling and her little brother asked me when I'll come to their house, and I replied "When I'm free I'll come" and they left.

LOL something's on my mind now, I want to text her "Boku wa, R.-san no kotto ga, daisuki desu" and let her wonder :P

Today's event will never to be forgotten!! That's the most enjoyable moment of my life, close to someone you love.
Last edited by Xi@h on Nov 14th, '05, 06:17, edited 2 times in total.

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Post by pwner4once » Nov 13th, '05, 16:04

haha Jeremiah, things do seem to be going well for you. but don't get flattered by the success. The conversation before u and her, i think it would better if u stop asking that many questions at once. because girls get frustrated like that and that's when the turnpoint from funny to annoying starts to take picture. second, it's pretty smooth of you how u denied everything until the last minute. In my personal opinion, it would be very congenial to explain your position to her or ur ambivalence behind the currnet circumstance.
Regarding the kinesthesia tactic, pay extreme close attention to her response. some girl hate people touching them even though one's already on her friendlist already. Or things might turn out to be the complete opposite. All i am saying is reponse according to her body language.

for my sad ilfe, everything seems to be messing up
Both mentally and curriculum wise, my grades are going down and everyday I get very stressed about it.... i am not asking for empathy, but rather asking for some kind of advice.

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Post by Xi@h » Nov 13th, '05, 16:16

Thanks for the tips pwner4once. You have to do thing about it, don't let yourself down, if today I'm here, it's because all of you, so why give good advice to us but just let yourself down. Please do me a favor, hang in there and fight up pwner!!!

From our previous meeting, when I get close to her she just move away, but our last meeting, she get close to me and now I've decided to just do a little KINO, tap her shoulder to move on etc and barely skin to skin, she doesn't move away. While discussing with her, we were very close to each other but we were facing the sea and from times to times we just glimpse at each other.

EDIT:

Pwner4once: You have to find yourself some friends and meet up people, like you have advice me to do so. If I'm happy today, it is because I've decided to get back to training and the trainer introduced me his daughter. It's because all of you have given me the support to go along. So to be happy, you have to grab it by yourself. You must find your own happiness!! Hang in there and be strong for yourself as you have teached us!!
Last edited by Xi@h on Nov 13th, '05, 16:23, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by dane_cool » Nov 13th, '05, 16:22

reminds me of Densha Otoko's forum,....lol

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Post by pwner4once » Nov 13th, '05, 20:03

dane_cool wrote:reminds me of Densha Otoko's forum,....lol
well it does take some shape of the old 2ch channel. but i say it's actually better and more active!

to jeremiah, i think are you very correct. I talk to only a few people in school and none are life bounding friends. but U.S. is so different from china, people are so different.... well i guess i'll just have to talk more. maybe i'll start doing volunteer job at this church again even though i am not religious. the thing is i don't mind going to places, it's when im in that condition... i don't know wat stuff to say or i'll just get nervous and be very quiet... :scratch:

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Post by Lost Samurai » Nov 13th, '05, 20:36

That is very awesome Jeremiah~!! I hope everything goes well. She seems like a very nice girl :3

Ganbare~!!

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Post by Xi@h » Nov 13th, '05, 20:51

pwner4once wrote:
dane_cool wrote:reminds me of Densha Otoko's forum,....lol
well it does take some shape of the old 2ch channel. but i say it's actually better and more active!

to jeremiah, i think are you very correct. I talk to only a few people in school and none are life bounding friends. but U.S. is so different from china, people are so different.... well i guess i'll just have to talk more. maybe i'll start doing volunteer job at this church again even though i am not religious. the thing is i don't mind going to places, it's when im in that condition... i don't know wat stuff to say or i'll just get nervous and be very quiet... :scratch:
Pwner4once, once you told me to be barrier free, so I guess you know what you should do!! People might be different but, the advice remains the same, it's just that you have to choose along which friends will suit you best and will bring happiness to you. Ask yourself the questions "What do I want?" "Is it just a mere simple life?" or "I have to live up my life to the fullest and grab my own happiness?"

If you found the answers, then you'll know where you stand and move along the answers. That's the best I can do for you Pwner4once, the rest is up to you (like it was for me after you'd given me advices). Good luck my friend!!!!
Lost Samurai wrote:That is very awesome Jeremiah~!! I hope everything goes well. She seems like a very nice girl :3

Ganbare~!!
Thanks Lost Samurai. Yes she's so a nice girl that she got my heart for her. Yep.. I've completely fallen for her. And from the report my mother gave me after they left, seems that her mother likes me lot. I guess that I'm not so far to confess to her, but no matter what, I'll wait a bit before confessing.. may be after we officially go out together on the date I've setup for her holidays.

That's the power of "AI"!!!

*

Where's Cloud? That's been weeks we haven't heard from him! Anyway, I do hope that he's doing his best up there!

x_XJules, What's up?? Did those annoying guess have finally left you alone? I do hope so!! Hang in there!!

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Post by pwner4once » Nov 14th, '05, 00:15

lol it does seems everybody got really quiet... no more dream girl and Cloud's adventure :(

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Post by Kazma » Nov 14th, '05, 00:26

I ..I was on the bus today and this girl fell i helped her up and she said thankyou ,she was soo pretty wow

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Post by Kazma » Nov 14th, '05, 00:29

I feel like looking at some Hana yori dango it is a very good show so far from what i seen

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Post by Mythrel » Nov 14th, '05, 00:42

Hey Jeremiah nice!!! That turned out better then expected :P Keep it up man I don't know why you ask us for advice you are doing dandy :lol These updates rock keep them up!! about texting her that you like her could work. You said she watched animes so she might be able to piece together what it means. I guess thats the point :P

Ya where the hell is cloud? *feels around on the floor*

Smile pwner4once :) Don't let things that are fixable drag you down. Don't feel stupid, that won't help anything. Just put some more time into studing but do it at your own pace. Take breaks and watch lots of dramas XD keep your headup or you might miss something by you. Maybe go paintballing with some friends? haha I just got back from paintballing and even though im sore as hell it was frickin fun. Even met some new friends :lol

Hey Jules hope work or whatever you had to do today went well. So whats up?

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Post by Atomic » Nov 14th, '05, 03:29

Guy, great job on the getting her to say yes to the clubbing thing. Extreme KINO is great at clubbing.. When dancing with her it's actually OK to grab her ass, as long as you're smooth about it. Like when you're dancing really close (aka grinding each other) and want her to be in the same rhythm as you, grab her ass so her movement will match your hip movements. Make sure you go to a busy club, not a bar. Clubs where it's almost impossible to move because it's so crowded. (A good way to do KINO and it'd be considered an "accident" because of the packed crowed.
I agree with pwnr4once with lay off with the questions.
Do activities that can involve her. example.. working out at the gym.. If you work out, ask her if she wants to go to the gym and do some weights, and cardio etc..


oh and pls don't appear needy infront of her. ie don't call her as soon as possible.. call her 2-3 days later etc..

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Post by Xi@h » Nov 14th, '05, 06:16

Mythrel wrote:Hey Jeremiah nice!!! That turned out better then expected :P Keep it up man I don't know why you ask us for advice you are doing dandy :lol These updates rock keep them up!! about texting her that you like her could work. You said she watched animes so she might be able to piece together what it means. I guess thats the point :P
You know being yourself and let things go by itself surely go smooth and better than expected but somehow you need to feel secure about it, because to be frank, I don't really have a great self-confidence (I'm a bit afraid that I've messed up something etc) So asking for some advice here really helps.

And you guys/girls are the most wonderful friends people might have!!! See it by yourself, about the texting in japanese words, I wasn't sure about it and now you've given me the confidence needed!! :D Now I'm going to wait 2-3 days then I'm going to text her and let her wonder what I said to her :D (let her think as if it's a puzzle and she have to discover it by herself) :P

@atomic, Thanks mate!! Going to try some KINO but I'm not that kind to do eXtreme KINO LOL but I'll go by the way I am and not to overdo it.

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Post by x_XJules » Nov 14th, '05, 09:49

I'm really sorry about my last post. i had written it while i was upset and sort of too anxious. sorry to be such a drama queen. it's not really relationship-related. well.. friend relations but nothing to do with dating.

i know we all need to put the kino thing to rest, but i have one last comment (and just so you know i haven't had much of a chance to really read posts, mostly just scanned... eek, hope you don't mind me posting anyway i'll reread tomorrow). Jerry i think it's very cute how you try to physically keep in contact in such little ways. tapping her shoulder? i would have never imagined that some guys are actually just trying to get close (i mean this all in an innocent way) to a girl. now this is something i feel is okay, you seem respectful too so i'm sure i don't have to tell you to keep your mind (and intentions) clean. it's amazing... this is becoming more like densha. i do kind of feel like i'm witnessing a couple get together.

awww.. if only there were more nice guys out there... or maybe just easier to find.

eek!! i gotta go, i'll finish my post later.

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Post by Xi@h » Nov 14th, '05, 12:37

x_XJules wrote:I'm really sorry about my last post. i had written it while i was upset and sort of too anxious. sorry to be such a drama queen. it's not really relationship-related. well.. friend relations but nothing to do with dating.

i know we all need to put the kino thing to rest, but i have one last comment (and just so you know i haven't had much of a chance to really read posts, mostly just scanned... eek, hope you don't mind me posting anyway i'll reread tomorrow). Jerry i think it's very cute how you try to physically keep in contact in such little ways. tapping her shoulder? i would have never imagined that some guys are actually just trying to get close (i mean this all in an innocent way) to a girl. now this is something i feel is okay, you seem respectful too so i'm sure i don't have to tell you to keep your mind (and intentions) clean. it's amazing... this is becoming more like densha. i do kind of feel like i'm witnessing a couple get together.

awww.. if only there were more nice guys out there... or maybe just easier to find.

eek!! i gotta go, i'll finish my post later.
Thanks x_XJules!! Geez how you'd know that I'm respectful? :scratch:

You know I've been raised by conservative parents that likes culture so that's why I'm more than cautious towards every action I undertake and seek for advice before moving on. Yep a small tap on the shoulder that's they way I use the KINO (that's the best I can do and I don't foresee myself to go beyond that) :P I might seems like a baka, don't you think?

Well there are more than enough nice guys out there, but it's not easier to find out, you'll probably find one nice guy by the way he acts, by the way he dressed. Take me as example, (I'm not saying that I'm a nice guy) I'm always properly dressed, I always think about future plan (my career, settle down and then find a girl to marry). This is the typical nice guy (I think :scratch: )

My other friends, which I don't have contacts anymore are completely the opposite from me and they're always in jean, tshirt, piercing, punk hairstyle and you might say that they're playboys, everytime I saw them on street, they have a different girl with them. I think this is the way on how you might differentiate nice guys and playboys :P

Gomen for those who acts and dress like that - Here in my Country, all nice guys are typically "Otakus"! I think that "Otakus" is a bit too much to describe a nice guy. They just dress themself properly (I'm not talking about tuxedo etc just well dress) and they're completely serious in everything they decide to undertake. ( I hope that you got my point)

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Post by x_XJules » Nov 14th, '05, 13:14

:offtopic:

thanks for the concern guys. :-)
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Post by Xi@h » Nov 14th, '05, 14:13

Good luck x_XJules, glad you have taken a decision that will benefit yourself from it!! Hang in there and if you're having any problems, we are all here to help, even if it's not for dating!! We're like a family here so don't bother, just ask for help and advice!! We'll be glad to be of a help to someone like you!!

However, you should not gather yourself with friends that gives you pressure or any kind. Just ask yourself the question "Am I happy with them? Am I really their friends? If not what am I doing here with them?" Go and find yourself new friends that will take you as you are and have a simple lifestyle. I guess a simple lifestyle friend will always suit someone best and I think he/she'll provide security to ones. Those who tends to enjoy a more lively lifestyle like clubbing everynight, dating guys as if they're changing clothes, they'll only bring you insecurity. In short, choose your friend very carefully.

Well that's my opinion, others might disagree with me!

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Post by x_XJules » Nov 14th, '05, 14:16

Jeremiah wrote:Good luck x_XJules, glad you have taken a decision that will benefit yourself from it!! Hang in there and if you're having any problems, we are all here to help, even if it's not for dating!! We're like a family here so don't bother, just ask for help and advice!! We'll be glad to be of a help to someone like you!!

However, you should not gather yourself with friends that gives you pressure or any kind. Just ask yourself the question "Am I happy with them? Am I really their friends? If not what am I doing here with them?" Go and find yourself new friends that will take you as you are and have a simple lifestyle. I guess a simple lifestyle friend will always suit someone best and I think he/she'll provide security to ones. Those who tends to enjoy a more lively lifestyle like clubbing everynight, dating guys as if they're changing clothes, they'll only bring you insecurity. In short, choose your friend very carefully.

Well that's my opinion, others might disagree with me!
the hard part is they WERE true friends.
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Post by Xi@h » Nov 14th, '05, 14:23

x_XJules wrote:the hard part is they WERE true friends. this sounds so cliche but drugs really do change people. at least the amount they consume is enough to change them.

edit: thanks so much for caring.. eck, i usually don't get worked up or upset it's probably just sleep deprivation driving me crazy.

You're welcome x_XJules. I do hope you'll be fine and that you'll find your happiness very very quickly!!

Well they WERE true friends, they aren't now. So you know what you have to do. Move on and find yourself a stable life, onegai!!

Don't worry, BE HAPPY!!

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Post by Mythrel » Nov 14th, '05, 18:53

x_XJules wrote::offtopic:

thanks for the concern guys. :-)

i'm trying to start a new life (a responsible one) and my old not 'real' friends dragged me back into an unhealthly lifestyle and i didn't even see it happening until i almost reached bottom. my friends had left months ago (over some stupid meaningless fight) and suddenly they have been around a lot lately (i can't stay mad at anyone) and they'd never let me live down the fact that i'm part of a forum... let alone an asian drama addicts forum. they don't even know i watch dramas.

i know what i'm talking about isn't really related to singles-dating but i'd rather vent or talk to you guys then get made fun of by my friends (granted one of them would still accept me as a friend, just would tease me to death). i haven't slept in two days due to insomnia and peer-pressure. i have to get ready for work in 3 hours. :pale:

I am leaving the whole lifestyle behind (easier said then done, but i'm trying) which leaves me with nothing to do. i think i am turning into an otaku.
Hey Jules hope you got some sleep after work. You know friends who put you down are not friends at all. Sure friends can give tough love on issues to motivate them to better themselves. What they are doing is actually very immature. They need to wake up and realise what they are doing to themselves and others. I know as a kid we always joked about peer pressure but it doesn't always happen like those stupid videos and presentations we had. I never got the lure for hard drugs but sometimes people just get hooked. Its good you are opening your eyes before you get to the point of no return. I hope for the best on your new path. Hopefully you have some true friends around you to help you get through this stage. Hell I know we can't actually be there for your physically but come on here and post your problems away we are always here to listen.

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Post by Xi@h » Nov 15th, '05, 10:36

I was having some thought today and something crosses my mind, what if she doesn't like me? Just having this thought, my heart stops for a moment and I got sadden :-(

Damn it... why do I have to think about such things? Now I'm afraid about her reaction if I confess to her!! :crazy:

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Post by bugsie » Nov 15th, '05, 10:59

it's just normal to feel that. well i guess it's better knowing than not knowing right? you can do it man, well if you fail, you can still watch dramas and waste time. you need to be optimistic dude.
Confused? Go FAQ yourself!








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Post by x_XJules » Nov 15th, '05, 11:07

Jeremiah wrote:I was having some thought today and something crosses my mind, what if she doesn't like me? Just having this thought, my heart stops for a moment and I got sadden :-(

Damn it... why do I have to think about such things? Now I'm afraid about her reaction if I confess to her!! :crazy:
that's just part of liking someone.

half of the time you're nervous or afraid and then half of the time you're as happy as you could possibly be.

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Post by Xi@h » Nov 15th, '05, 11:10

Right but I wonder if she like me or not.. No texting from her since Sunday.. or is she waiting for me to text her first? :blink

Edit:

I guess it's over now, no reply yet from my text "Hello, how are you doing today? Tired?"
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Post by BorgmanJayce » Nov 15th, '05, 16:34

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about a certain girl that I know and letting her know about how I feel about her and I've decided to tell her next Valentine's Day... In any case, if she turns me down, I won't have any regrets and at least I'll have gotten my feelings out and hopefully we'll still be friends...

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Post by kendrew » Nov 16th, '05, 03:08

BorgmanJayce: Valentines is a long way off. Go for it earlier.... XD

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Post by Mythrel » Nov 16th, '05, 04:19

Jeremiah don't falter now. Don't panic over things you can not really know for sure or you are going to stress yourself out. When you are ready to confess sure being rejected can be on your mind but don't dwell over it. You will only come to fear rejection and never confess which is actually worse then being rejected because you truely don't know. Just have a little more patience I guess, it will pay off.

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Post by Strider » Nov 16th, '05, 06:06

kendrew wrote:BorgmanJayce: Valentines is a long way off. Go for it earlier.... XD
I agree, why not around Christmas?

@Jeremiah You haven't talk for awhile, doesn't mean it's over. Maybe she had something came up and she's busy. Be the point man and ask her what's going on?, but don't be a stalker and send 40 text messages a day.

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Post by Trondog » Nov 16th, '05, 06:39

I wanted to post in this thread again...but I'm too tired to type a whole entry..

So simply put...I'm lonely and there's lots of girls who I find attractive in the area who seem to be unattainable.
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Post by Xi@h » Nov 16th, '05, 06:55

@Mythrel, thanks. You're always here to smooth my mind :D

@Strider, Well, I'm not sending 40 messages a day. I just send only one (after two days) and I thought she would reply back since I was asking if she was fine or tired after a day of studies, and yet no reply.

My thoughts:

I begin to think that it might be well over. Anyway, I'm supposed to go at her house this Sunday, guess I won't go just to make sure she really want me to come, so she had to phone for me to come. (Is that right? or I should go really?)

Sorry everybody, there are lot of mixed emotions because there are mixed signs from her that I don't really know what she's thinking about. I really feel unsecure about that. On the other hand, she might be busy as well since she have to prepare herself for the next following week's exams.

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Post by Xi@h » Nov 16th, '05, 09:00

I guess things have messed a bit.. I don't even know when. When I was texting my cousin, who have a problem with his radeon, I was rather busy and instead of sending it to my cousin, I had send it to her by accident (since I was replying very quick and didn't pay too much attention to the phone book, which I cancel rapidly, but nevertheless the message got delivered to her). So she forward me back the message immediately. I apologize myself about this incident and she never replied. I guess she's not that busy!!

Well.. it's the end for sure and I guess I'm not going to dwell on it since I don't know when it got all messed up. I may call her in lunch time or this afternoon to apologize to her and that's all or I may not.

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Post by BorgmanJayce » Nov 16th, '05, 12:20

I might do that... Tell the girl concerned around Xmas...

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Post by daalig » Nov 16th, '05, 12:38

Jeremiah, calm down. I've been reading your posts for a while, and you now are sounding too obsessed over the matter. There's this Sunday coming up, but pretend not to be interested in her for a few days, no texting, phone, or anything. And then next time she contacts you, if she does, pretend that you've been busy but you're also really glad she took the time to contact you.

I've read most of the posts, and the messages you sent her, a lot of them sounded really creepy to me. I felt like you were trying too much, and it sounded like you were a completely different person to the way you type here. Maybe she's noticed the obsessive behaviour, and started to get a little scared.

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Post by Xi@h » Nov 16th, '05, 12:48

daalig wrote:Jeremiah, calm down. I've been reading your posts for a while, and you now are sounding too obsessed over the matter. There's this Sunday coming up, but pretend not to be interested in her for a few days, no texting, phone, or anything. And then next time she contacts you, if she does, pretend that you've been busy but you're also really glad she took the time to contact you.

I've read most of the posts, and the messages you sent her, a lot of them sounded really creepy to me. I felt like you were trying too much, and it sounded like you were a completely different person to the way you type here. Maybe she's noticed the obsessive behaviour, and started to get a little scared.
Creepy? Umm.. okay if that's so, but I have never text her with obession. Anyway, I'm backing off and set back like I said from my previous post. Thanks daalig.

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Post by Mythrel » Nov 16th, '05, 17:49

Jeremiah don't give up. On Sunday if you guys have something planned you shouldn't back out or wait for her to call. Just out of curosity did you text her that you like her in Japanese?. I think liking her from a far is hurting you. I know you are waiting to confess, but its only leaving you in constant worry. I know you are confused by the mixed signals but maybe she is too? Maybe she has been waiting for you to ask her and you never do? I guess if you feel she is completely avoiding you that can't be a good feeling and I hope she isn't doing it on purpose. I guess come Sunday you will know whats going on but don't feel discouraged. Love is a mysterious thing.

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Post by Xi@h » Nov 16th, '05, 18:18

Mythrel, I don't know, yet, I feel terribly unsecure about such situation. I haven't text her that I like her in Japanese. I was thinking to do so after our setup plan for clubbing (which now I'm not sure that will ever happen). May be I should text her but I feel that she's taking her distance since last Sunday. She might take me as a stalker or I don't know.. pretty sad huh!! What should I do? Text her in Japanese and let her wonder? Should I go at her place Sunday? Don't even know!

Yup love is a mysterious thing, that's for sure!

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Post by Atomic » Nov 16th, '05, 18:51

Guy you're appearing way too needy towards her man.. back off a bit.. Wait till Sunday to see if she calls you back.. then if she doesnt.. call her on Sunday and ask her what time to pick her up.. If she blows you off.. Forget about her for a few weeks and see what happens from there.. aka. Stop calling her.. stop texting her..

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Post by Xi@h » Nov 16th, '05, 19:09

Atomic wrote:Guy you're appearing way too needy towards her man.. back off a bit.. Wait till Sunday to see if she calls you back.. then if she doesnt.. call her on Sunday and ask her what time to pick her up.. If she blows you off.. Forget about her for a few weeks and see what happens from there.. aka. Stop calling her.. stop texting her..
Am I really appearing too needy towards her?? I have already taken the decision to back off and set back.

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Post by Atomic » Nov 16th, '05, 19:21

From the very beginning I've been telling you NOT TO USE THE PHONE to talk to her. Phone's are for making plans.. not for making conversation. Especially if you're trying to hook up with her. If she's already your GF I understand about using the phone.. but guy, you guys aren't even going out, and you're texting/calling her everyday..

btw stop doing her favours as well. aka fixing her stuff, doing her projects. That's not a way to win her.. All you're doing is showing her that you're dependable. aka she'll use you when it's convient for her.

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Post by Mythrel » Nov 16th, '05, 21:38

Jeremiah hey dude don't feel so blue. I mean even if things turn out unimagionable there is always tomorrow. I don't think talking to her that frequently was really the straw that broke the camels back. I got to say I didn't know you were about clubbing :LOL. Maybe I just don't get that whole scene, but whatever. Maybe she is just nervous about clubbing? Have you guys ever discussed clubbing in the past? Like through personal experiences? I would call her on Saturday and see if she is still free on Sunday and go from there. I know you want that contact with her and have that feeling subside, but I wouldn't. Have a bit of patience and let things happen. If she contacts you before Saturday that is great, but don't dwell on things you have no answers for. You can play over in your head all the things that might have caused this sudden silence between you too, but you will only overlook things and possibly become depressed. There are a million possiblities and you will only stress yourself out, its not worth it.

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Post by Xi@h » Nov 16th, '05, 23:29

Mythrel wrote:Jeremiah hey dude don't feel so blue. I mean even if things turn out unimagionable there is always tomorrow. I don't think talking to her that frequently was really the straw that broke the camels back. I got to say I didn't know you were about clubbing :LOL. Maybe I just don't get that whole scene, but whatever. Maybe she is just nervous about clubbing? Have you guys ever discussed clubbing in the past? Like through personal experiences? I would call her on Saturday and see if she is still free on Sunday and go from there. I know you want that contact with her and have that feeling subside, but I wouldn't. Have a bit of patience and let things happen. If she contacts you before Saturday that is great, but don't dwell on things you have no answers for. You can play over in your head all the things that might have caused this sudden silence between you too, but you will only overlook things and possibly become depressed. There are a million possiblities and you will only stress yourself out, its not worth it.
Yep clubbing, I asked her on Sunday:
Jeremiah wrote:I finished the installation and check up, we arrived on the quay (at about 1h45pm) and embark on the "Doulos". There was so many people that we have to be close to each other while waiting for getting the tickets. So she and I talked a bit about her future projects, what she intend to do in life. In short, I've asked her so many questions about her, which she promptly answered back. I've got to know her favourite food, her hobbies and nearly about her future plans. Then I asked her when she'll be on holiday if she doesn't mind to go out with me (go night club dancing - of course, I'm going to have another couple with us, my cousin and his wife), so promptly replied, no problem, just give me a call Smile YATAAAA!!!!! She's okay with that.
I guess this is where things went out bad. Don't know! Thanks Mythrel.

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Post by Valcun » Nov 17th, '05, 10:41

@Jeremiah

Good Job Jeremiah, you da MAN!!! You got her clubbing. If you want you can use her to "WALK THE RAIL!" Yeeee haaaa, right atomic?

-Val

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Post by Valcun » Nov 17th, '05, 10:42

I got second to the last post on page 99. :x

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Post by Valcun » Nov 17th, '05, 10:43

I got last post on page 99 :glare:

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Post by Valcun » Nov 17th, '05, 10:43

I got first post on page 100! I win!! :lol

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Post by Xi@h » Nov 17th, '05, 10:46

Valcun wrote:@Jeremiah

Good Job Jeremiah, you da MAN!!! You got her clubbing. If you want you can use her to "WALK THE RAIL!" Yeeee haaaa, right atomic?

-Val
Nope things aren't going well Valcun.. She's keeping her distance from me and I don't even know when and where it got mess up.

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Post by Valcun » Nov 17th, '05, 11:32

@jeremiah mmmmmmmm........ Sounds like a test jeremiah, or maybe she lost interest in you. But hey, try to distance your self from her. Remember what i said? Act like if you have lack of interest in her. Drives chicks NuTz

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Post by Xi@h » Nov 17th, '05, 11:40

Valcun wrote:@jeremiah mmmmmmmm........ Sounds like a test jeremiah, or maybe she lost interest in you. But hey, try to distance your self from her. Remember what i said? Act like if you have lack of interest in her. Drives chicks NuTz

-Val
Already back off, won't even meet her this Sunday, I'm going to check her reaction :P

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Post by Mythrel » Nov 17th, '05, 14:50

You are going to skip out on something you guys planned? I don't think thats a smart move. I thinking keeping your distance is a good thing but don't make yourself look like a jerk. If you guys were just talking about it and you really didn't mean it then thats fine but I don't think playing hard to get now is going to help. You have always been avalible to her in the past and now you are shutting yourself off from her. If thats the easiest way for you to let her go then go ahead. I don't think you are going to like her reation if you guys are on thin ice already. Its your life and I can't tell you how to live it, I just hope the decisions you make better you. There are lessions with each day I guess.

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Post by Xi@h » Nov 17th, '05, 15:35

Mythrel wrote:You are going to skip out on something you guys planned? I don't think thats a smart move. I thinking keeping your distance is a good thing but don't make yourself look like a jerk. If you guys were just talking about it and you really didn't mean it then thats fine but I don't think playing hard to get now is going to help. You have always been avalible to her in the past and now you are shutting yourself off from her. If thats the easiest way for you to let her go then go ahead. I don't think you are going to like her reation if you guys are on thin ice already. Its your life and I can't tell you how to live it, I just hope the decisions you make better you. There are lessions with each day I guess.
I don't want to let her go and I don't want to lose her neither :cry:

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Post by Atomic » Nov 17th, '05, 16:03

What time was your clubbing on Sunday? Nite I'm presuming right? Just call her in Sunday afternoon and ask her what time to pick her up... If she says she's busy, or she forgot.. then just say "that's too bad. My cousin and his wife were really looking forward to meeting you." and leave it at that.. Plus feel out her reaction to see if she even wants to talk to you on the phone.. If her responses are short, and to the point you're basically SOL.. but if she is making conversation, try and make plans to meet her at another time.. but if she cancels out on that as well.. just **** NEXT the chick and move on.

You think you're in love.. but you're just infatuated with lust..

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Post by Mythrel » Nov 17th, '05, 17:40

I got a question. Like I could see meeting a girl and becoming friends with her and then start to like her, but why are you becoming her friend first? Are you trying to be more presentable to her? Are you trying to get to know her to see if you want to spend the rest of your life with her? Maybe I'm werid but every relationship ive had (haven't lasted mind you) or people around me have had were spontanous. They would start going out and go from there, see if you can really love them. I never liked the whole idea of being friends with someone you have a crush on only from personal experiences. It usually results in them seeing you as a friend and not that kind of friend. Now don't get me wrong it has happened before I personally have never seen it, but that doesn't mean it doesnt happen :lol . It has only ever resulted in me getting hurt so I'm just warning you of this path. If I were in your shoes I think I would have asked her outt. If she says no, well its painful, but you will recover. At least you won't be wasting your time in vain. What if she says yes? Maybe I don't get it all that well but explain to me what you are doing? LOL if you don't mind that is.

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Post by techie » Nov 17th, '05, 19:09

Hey, I'm single too but I dont rant... :roll


I advertise instead :mrgreen:
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Post by Xi@h » Nov 17th, '05, 19:10

Mythrel wrote:I got a question. Like I could see meeting a girl and becoming friends with her and then start to like her, but why are you becoming her friend first? Are you trying to be more presentable to her? Are you trying to get to know her to see if you want to spend the rest of your life with her? Maybe I'm werid but every relationship ive had (haven't lasted mind you) or people around me have had were spontanous. They would start going out and go from there, see if you can really love them. I never liked the whole idea of being friends with someone you have a crush on only from personal experiences. It usually results in them seeing you as a friend and not that kind of friend. Now don't get me wrong it has happened before I personally have never seen it, but that doesn't mean it doesnt happen :lol . It has only ever resulted in me getting hurt so I'm just warning you of this path. If I were in your shoes I think I would have asked her outt. If she says no, well its painful, but you will recover. At least you won't be wasting your time in vain. What if she says yes? Maybe I don't get it all that well but explain to me what you are doing? LOL if you don't mind that is.
I see.. you have a point here Mythrel.. But I really don't know what to do next. You remember the Japanese text? I really want to do it, but.. I still don't know yet if I have to do it or not [now? or later on?]

I need to be more confident, I'm going to meet her on Sunday as planned and I'll do the Japanese text on Saturday night. Thanks Mythrel, you've always been here for me. You're more like a brother to me, a little brother that I always wanted to have (yeah I'm a sole child to my parents). Hontou ni arigatou gozaimasta!!

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Post by Mythrel » Nov 17th, '05, 20:00

Jeremiah wrote: I see.. you have a point here Mythrel.. But I really don't know what to do next. You remember the Japanese text? I really want to do it, but.. I still don't know yet if I have to do it or not [now? or later on?]

I need to be more confident, I'm going to meet her on Sunday as planned and I'll do the Japanese text on Saturday night. Thanks Mythrel, you've always been here for me. You're more like a brother to me, a little brother that I always wanted to have (yeah I'm a sole child to my parents). Hontou ni arigatou gozaimasta!!
There you go Jeremiah I sense more confidence in you. Thx Jeremiah, I'll try my best to get you through this. I think its a good idea to go on Sunday its hard to have a bad time in that type of atmosphere. I would text her that after the events of Sunday though. You can do it before but I'd use Sunday to set it up to saying that. I understand your frustration. I think you guys are just at a standstill and you have to wait for her to make the next move.

AJA AJA! FIGHTING!

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Post by Xi@h » Nov 17th, '05, 21:19

Mythrel wrote:There you go Jeremiah I sense more confidence in you. Thx Jeremiah, I'll try my best to get you through this. I think its a good idea to go on Sunday its hard to have a bad time in that type of atmosphere. I would text her that after the events of Sunday though. You can do it before but I'd use Sunday to set it up to saying that. I understand your frustration. I think you guys are just at a standstill and you have to wait for her to make the next move.

AJA AJA! FIGHTING!
Thanks Mythrel, I'll try my best. Right, going to do the Japanese thing after the meeting.

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Post by Ruroshin » Nov 18th, '05, 02:12

Locking this topic since it hit 100 pages, starting a new topic to relieve the load on the server having to search a 100 pages of post.

continue here http://www.d-addicts.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=24944

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SINGLES RANTING THREAD (Dating Advice) part 2

Post by Ruroshin » Nov 18th, '05, 02:14

This is where you rant about your real life relationship and get dating advice.

previous topic here http://www.d-addicts.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=22537

Carry on.

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Post by x_XJules » Nov 18th, '05, 03:47

hey, how's everyone been?

seems like jeremiah has run into a little bit of trouble. i wouldn't worry too much. she's probably just busy. you should hang out with her on the date you guys had planned, and i hope you have a great time! and i guess it never hurts to back off just a bit.. but don't make her chase you.

just remember to enjoy the time you have with her, and don't waste it being worried or anxious.

i hope that helps in some way. take care of yourself!

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