hey you, first generation asian-american kids

Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 5:32 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

What is this "asian-american" you're talking about? For me, they're all American. This PC "Asian-american", "afro-american", "whatever-american" is a load of bull. BTW, why isn't it applied to white Americans? Where are the... italo-germanic-irish-americans? Nope, they are called... "white".

There's only one type of American: the American.

Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 8:49 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 9:40 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

it probably won't help whatever people say to you now. It is maybe something everybody has to go through. Kinda stupid, because we keep making the same mistake, but maybe that is life. You do what you think you should do now and one day you will look back and think: "yeah...my mother/parents was/were right about that...and that...and that..."

My mother said things of which I was absolutely sure that it was crap at the time. Now I think she was right. But other things are still BS...lol.

Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 1:06 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

well, for me, i used to think my parents are the most difficult people to deal with, and they're good at making their kid's life miserable. my friends always ask me if i have to listen to everything they say, and i felt awkward (yes, i meant embarrassed) saying yes. but without those scolding and yelling, i couldn't have survived my years in high school at all, where you can get influenced easily by other kids. and now think about it, it's more like my friends' parents didn't care enough for them, not my parents being too strict.
ALSO, as you said, you're the first Asian American generation. so, that means your parents have worked hard for years just so you can have a happy life (no need to go deeper into this right?). therefore, they would not let your limited knowledge ruins everything they have prepared for. and they don't want you to face the same problems as they did.

Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 1:01 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 5:00 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

I am not always like this... not always so angry. At least not on the outside. Anyone can pass me by on the streets and not notice that I am screaming and dying inside. This reminds me of a classmate who I thought was another regular happy kid when I was proven wrong the day I saw him in the school's clinic crying and asking the nurse for medicine to treat his depression.
Ahhhh, the beauty of anonymity in cyber-world.
People are telling me different things... they either tell me to deal with life's injustices and ride it out or to listen to no one but what my heart is telling me. Somehow the first solution seems to be more realistic than the second, and the second sounds more romantic and idealistic. But once you relinquish your control of your own fate, are you even human? What are you then? Corny, huh?
By the way, I didn't mean to offend anyone by starting this thread. I was just being blunt about my situation. Yeah, it doesn't really matter what you guys say to me now because in the end I still feel what I feel, if that makes any sense.

Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 5:08 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

yeah.. the decision making is up to you in the end..

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 4:56 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

I'm a first generation Asian-American as well. Laotian and Vietnamese...two completely different ways of caring for a child from what I've observed from my parents. Laotian side is very, very caring and the Viet side is super strict.

I've argued plenty with my parents, especially with my dad now. Heck my dad and I have come close to fist fighting a few times (only when I'm defending my hot-headed little brother). During normal arguments, I keep my cool and talk eye to eye. I make my parents see and accept my point of view so they know that their's isn't the only one. I went to U.T.I. (Universal Technical Institute) against my parents' wishes and moved 100+ miles away from them. They couldn't convince me otherwise and I didn't feel that I had the focus necessary to excel in a university, although I got accepted. I've completely disappointed my dad because none of the kids have gone to a university yet. I figure that if I can make a decent living as a tech, I can go to a university in the future and pay for it myself because my parents have given me more than enough. I take the advice my parent's give me into consideration and I make the ultimate decision. The older I got, the more I've tried to fit into my dad's small size 7 shoes and tried decipher what he was trying to relay to me.

I don't know how it is with other Asian families but between my Viet side, there's always been an "education battle" to see who's kid was smartest. My sister and I were always at the top of our game but we didn't go to a university. Our parents are afraid that we won't be able to live a comfortable life in the future. The more I think about what they're trying to tell me, the more it ends up with having a comfortable life.

Did I just go severely off tangent? There must be a point somewhere in there that relates to the OP's question but I don't even know what I wrote anymore. Haha.

Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 9:20 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

My parents have always been pretty much exactly how I would want them to be. Both of them are extremely progressive by "asian american" standards and with the exception of my longish hair, never really nag me (and that's only my dad really). They set high expectations for me but I always end up fulfilling them. The only real downside I see is that I don't really feel that large of an attachment to them. I go to college in a state that's far away and only see them once or twice a year.

Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 12:50 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

First Generations are people who were born in another country and moved here to the U.S., as adults. Second Generations are kids or people, who are born (here in the U.S.) to parents who are First Generations.

That said, first and second generations will naturally have a tendency to clash. Both were born and raised in two different places with different values, so the cultural gap is expected. Disagreements between the two are inevitable and only understanding of each other can really resolve this issue. I have first generation parents so of course, I completely understand how you feel. It's suffocating because you're torn between two cultures. You don't know whether to follow what you believe, or obey your parents wishes. 20 years old is still not old enough really understand the breadth of this issue. But you can learn from discussions of history. This isn't something new. If you've ever taken Asian-American history, you'd know that this was a prominent reason for the rift between the issei and the nissei during WWII.

EDIT: Forgot to add, but after learning and reading about that, I've tried to understand my parents more and, luckily, my father, who loves to read, has also read much of the same things I read so he's become a little more flexible on some stuff. Smile