My buddy's breakup

Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 4:46 pm Post subject: My buddy's breakup Post Rating: 0

So one of my male buddies had recently got dumped by his girlfriend. Sad

So naturally, I asked him why? And so he replied because of me? So then I asked him why me, what did I do? He then so told me his girlfriend was jealous, you know like… him + me = hangin’ out 24/7 blah blah blah. Thinking it was hilarious so I picked up my cellie and call his (ex) girlfriend and said it wasn’t all me. It was only half of me because we only hung out half of 24/7 a day! Yea yea of course she didn’t listen and got pissed at my Halfass even more so now to the point that she was soooo fluent in English, German, Chinese, French, Vietnamese etc etc all thrown together like she was some professional U.N. interpreter for sure. Le *Sigh*

Seriously, I’m hurting because seeing my buddy is hurting because he loves this (ex) girl who isn't loving him back because of me. So now what? What should I do?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanx! Big Smile

Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 5:35 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Did the ex bring up this issue to your friend before or was this something that just happened out of the blue?

Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 5:44 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 6:34 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

It sounds like your friend didn't make the effort to address this before, maybe because guys are guys and they think its all right to spend time with a girl friend, so they brush it off. He should have considered what she said and maybe he wasn't able to change. I think it is important for him to make small adjustments at first just to show he's willing to give up some time for his girlfriend while not sacrificing too much in terms of his friendships.

Not knowing about this before didn't help Sad

Did you notice anything? Any signs of this prior to? It sounds like you couldn't do much, unless you were hinted at this before.

I think the chances of your friend getting back with his ex really depends on him showing her that he'd change or has changed. There's only so much that you can do. It's really up to them to reconcile this, of course now that you know about this and seeing how you really do want them to get back together shows that you're willing to sacrifice your time with him. Also, I would suggest not assuming everything is ok, especially if his ex is gorgeous and seems confident. You're a close girl friend, so its not surprising that she may get jealous.

After making that phone call, I would definitely be worried about her being comfortable with you. Keep your distance from the gf for a while and let the two of them sort things out and then maybe if they get back together build trust and rapport.

Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 8:19 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

You're too funny, Halfass.. Well I mean, your post.. =)

Anyway, so your buddy's gf is jealous of you, eh?? Have you asked her why she felt this way?? Perhaps, you were.. Well, uhm, never mind..

**Beijos**

Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 8:27 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Btw, what is jealousy??

Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 1:04 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 2:55 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

G'evening, Halfass!!

Well, first of all, nice to chat with you.. And for the record, my name is not Gina, it's Adrijana.. =)

You wrote “I think it’s ok to feel jealous”.. I respectfully disagree.. Well I mean, feeling jealous is never healthy, dear mate.. Jealousy is also a sign of possessiveness where she is so unstable that she carnt keep her partners for long periods of time.. Thus, her inability to hold on to her partners is usually directly related to her psycho-like behaviour and mannerism.. For example, have you seen Last Friends?? If you have, what do you think of Sousuke?? Really, no one should have to suffer such torture and abuse inflicted by jealous girlfriends/boyfriends, do you not agree??

Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 3:42 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Hey Halfass, I have another question.. Do you think it's okay to look at other women whilst you're in a long-term relationship??

Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 6:40 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 8:28 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Looks like I've finally found a thread to let loose a little bit.

Well, Halfass, your friend's a jackass or a dumbass. I know he's your buddy and all, but there's really no denying it.

1. He was totally out of touch with his girl (I mean that in a mental/emotional sense, but being physically out of touch would probably compound that). He's either completely oblivious to how she felt, knew how she felt and didn't take it seriously, or flat didn't care. In any case he's gonna keep having this problem as long as he can't come to terms with it.

2. He's telling you why they split up. It's his problem to solve and whether she feels threatened by you or not, he's got to work it out with her. Of course you are going to try to help him and call her, but she wants him around. You being a girl adds to it, but the real issue is that she has more expectations of his time than he was giving, and he made that decision. If he doesn't want to spend the time with her then the relationship has to end. His priorities don't meet her expectations. Bad match, find another girl. Someone mentioned sacrifice, but it's purely a matter of desire and if he didn't to be with her while he was spending time with you it's a pretty clear statement. Bottom line, pulling you into it probably made things worse for their relationship and didn't make you feel better.

The jealousy issue: maybe she is confident, and it's pissing her off that he wouldn't come to see her instead of hanging out with you.

Now, if she is some kind of deranged, possessive girl then he's still got issues if he wants to stay with her, even if she is hot, because it just means there's going to be nonstop conflict.

So, in answer to your question, I think you have to let him take care of it himself. Cheer your boy on but let him do the fighting.

If I'm wrong, that's not going to come as a shock since this is all derived from a couple of posts on a site dedicated to drama.

♡

Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 3:20 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

@Halfass

Wakeup sleephead!! **Tickle Tickle**

Unfortunately I have to jet over to campus to finish writing my speech to be delivered on this coming Monday.. I promise I will write soon..

Oh, and G'morning to ya!! =)

Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 3:44 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

hey hey hey look this way.

maybe his girlfriend is not really jealous and was just trying to make excuses for her and your buddy to break up. because from what you said shes much hotter than you so she has no reason to be insecured or something. that was just my opinion. Big Smile

Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 9:15 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0