dating advice--if he loves me--why is he not standing up4me

Okay i looove d-addicts, its like people here are family--and i know this has nothing to do with Asia but i really need some advice, i dont know what to do!!!

kay, here is the deal ....me and my boyfriend are about 1 year and some months together, we knew each other for about 3-4 years before that, and we were best friends.. he always liked me but I just didn't feel the same way.. anyway faith steeped in and I started liking him back and kaboom we started dating... hes a great guy, loving, caring, he would do anything for me (or so i thought).. well here is the deal, ever since I knew him-- I always had some issues with his family...

1. before we started dating, me and his 2 cousins were cool, until they separated me and my best friend... I know what u think, what kind of a best friend is she anyway if she lets that happen-- anyway my best friend apologized, but it was too late the damage was done... they just used my best friend, and she didn't see that until some time later... It still hurts when I see his cousins, but I smile and don't say anything because I love him...

2. His mom and dad didn't like me because they thought I just used him (used him how, we WERE FRIENDS???.. but that was before, ever since we started dating, his dad was really happy, and would want us to get married.. bla bla bla...

3. His brother and his girlfriend, GOSH TALK ABOUT hating some1..I ABSOLUTELY HATE HIS BROTHERS GIRLFRIEND.. HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED--

---two months ago, my boyfriends brother girlfriend(dona) started just randomly pissing me off, she would say stuff just to piss me off, HOWEVER i just ignored it, even when it was about my family... It came to a point were i started to dislike her soooo much that I couldn't even say hi to her... and three days ago she told my boyfriend how she disliked me and how i am a b...ch,how I'm this and that, she went on and on, and of course his brother agreed.. the thing that buggs me is that my boyfriend DIDN'T DO anything, he just listened while they were bashing him and me...IF THAT WAS ME, THAT COULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED TO BE, BECAUSE I STAND UP TO ANYONE THAT WOULD INSULT HIM OR ANYONE CARE ABOUT… and than i asked him why he didn't say anything, why he wasn like "dont you freaking come into my house and say shi* about my girlfriend, he didnt stand up for me or HIMSELF... I stand up for him all the time.. (just as an example-one time we were playing v-bal and other guys made fun of how bad he was playing, I stood up and bitched them out!!!!!) My family fought with my uncle over my boyfriend, because my uncle didnt like him... my parents and I stood up for him... Two days after, I come visit my BF-- and she and his brother come and we got into a fight.. she went on and on about me and my family, with his brother agreeing, while my whimp ass boyfriend stood there and didn't say anything...even his brother was saying stuff about my Boyfrined, while he just stood there... Its like after all this time, saying how much he loves me and my family, someone insulting them--and he being a whimp and just letting it happen, made me soooo mad that I just broke it off... WHERE IS IS FREAKING MANHOOD---if he loved me as much as me says he does, why doesn’t he stand up for me IS THIS RELATIONSHIP WORTH CONTINUING??? IM REALLY BLINDED BECAUSE I LOVE HIM, SO I NEED a second OPPINIONS... WHAT DO YOU THINK, IS IT WORTH BEING WITH HIM, BUT CONSTANTLY FIGHTING BATTLES.. i DONT KNOW IF I CAN TAKE ANYMORE!! IM REALLY SHUK UP, I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ANYMORE!!! SHOULD I FORGIVE HIM AND GET BACK WITH HIM.. OR KEEP MY DISTANCE?? WHY DO GUYS DO S**** LIKE THAT??

Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:41 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

It sounds like he is afraid to stand up for you and himself. And that's not right, I wouldn't like it very much if my boyfriend acted like that. If he even cared about you a little bit, he wouldn't let his brother and his brother's girlfriend treat you like that. That's verbal abuse, what they are doing to you, and its not right.

So my question is, how long are you going to let this happen? He's not doing anything about it, and yeah, I'd be really hurt too if I were you, I understand how your feeling. So, if he's not doing anything now, he probably won't do anything in the future either. So, you need to weigh how much you love him versus how much you are willing to stand being treated like this.

And if he continues to do nothing, then I'd leave him and find someone who knows how to respect a person and stand up for them and REALLY show them what it means to love them.

Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:49 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:54 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Wow that doesn't seem like much of love to me. If someone did love you i dont think they would let you fight battles alone and i know he seems to be in a bad position because he's in between the one he's in love with and his family, but if his family goes that far something should be said. Even though he tells you he loves you just never forget ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. and to me it seems like his actions are barely whispering right now.

Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:05 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:07 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

you did right by breaking up with him!! bcos he is freaking whimp!!!! afraid to get in conflict with his brother, he doesnt dare to speak up for you! Nobdy and i MEAN NOBODY would let someone talk shit about ur love ones!!!! iam sorry to put it this way but he is a p***y...i guy like that doesnt deserve you,... for my friends i would shake the roof off if something like this happened, bcos they are my friends..for the ones i truely love like BF, i would go further...if the guy just stood still and said nothing, he just lost my trust l*snap* like that..you are suppose to protect and care for ur loved ones, if he couldnt even stand up for you, imagine when worse things happens in the future, he would be running the other direction...sorry but security feeling within this guy is lost...

Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 11:08 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 11:11 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

To me it seems like your boy friend just keep quiet because he didn't know what to do because he never was in a situation like that. i think after that happened that he probably is a little better at situations like that. i don't know him or you but u seem to care about him a lot. so i say if i was you i would think about giving him a second chance because everyone deserves a second chance. i mean i i had a boy friend that did that to me and i loved him very much i would give him a second chance. but what do i know i'm very optimistic anyways.

hope this helps you good luck

Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 11:46 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 12:04 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

i dont know as i said before he might have not known how to deal with those situations. as i said i'm very optimistic. if you loved him the whole time and he loved you the whole time to that point i would find it in my heart to forgive him one last time and talk it out with him. maybe he isn't as bad as you think

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 12:07 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

plus everybody deserves three chances you know the rule 3 strikes and your out

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 12:19 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 12:22 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

i see your point, but i say why waste 1 year of your life if you might be able to work it out. and he probably learned hiss lesson and he might man up and protect you in the future. plus if he realy loved you he would try too get you back anyway possible which means he is becoming less of a whimp.

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 12:33 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 12:37 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

well how much time passed since the first and second time. if it was a week or less well i mean can you expect anybody to change their ways in a few days. or has it been like a month or so then i understand what you mean. i know if it was me i might not be able someone i love that much you know what i mean