Impossible relationships, ever thought about it?

Hey everyone, it's been a long time since I posted on here, quite possibly too long. But I just wanted everyone's opinion on 'impossible relationships' so to speak. Of course.. this kind of discussion isn't fair unless I have something to present myself:

I just completed my second year of Japanese study, and it was tough as I'm sure anyone who has taken a language course will tell you, but this semester was particularly unbearable. I didn't notice it at first, but within days I couldn't stop thinking about her, she was my class TA. From her wonderful smile, cute laugh and innocent responses, I thought about her for hours on end, probably every minute or every other minute of everyday for the past 3 1/2 months. Being quite unsociable myself, I had a really tough time talking to her at first, the language barriers weren't helping either. But I took it as it was, tried conversing with her in Japanese, and we talked nearly every other day briefly. The story just unfolded like a drama though, she's going home to Japan in July and I haven't spoken to hear in over a week. Our 'last farewell' ended with a written letter I gave to her (in Japanese), and I haven't seen her since.

There's more details of course, but I don't want to bore anyone with a winded post. Anyone had something that made them think, "It'll never work?" but you still went on anyways?

Thanks everyone, have a nice weekend~

Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 9:35 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

I met my tiny little adorable Japanese wife when I was in high school. I spoke no Japanese and she didn't speak much English. She was 8 years older and I was out of my league. I didn't give it up though. Years of dating, a couple of years of long distance romance from Canada to Japan and now we're very happily married. So nothing is impossible if you go the distance and there's a spark of attraction to kick things off.

Go for it Smile

Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 9:36 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Hope it works, but if you haven't seen her at all since you gave her the letter... it kinda looks bad then. Sad

Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 10:17 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Ah yes, the first time i saw her, i was thoroughy amazed, she was beatiful, she was funny, she was almost perfect. WHY YOSHIZAWA HITOMI!? WHY!?!?!??!?!?!?!

lmao, sorry, anyway bro, good luck, it's cool to think about her, but dont turn into a stalker Then it'll really turn into the drama, but you'll be the little roach everyone hates.

just my two cents Tongue

Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 10:19 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 12:39 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

vulcan300, wow that sounds really great, thanks for your input. Although they're quite rare I like to hear stories such as yours, they give me hope on otherwise rainy days~ Strangely too I'm from Canada as well.. maybe its not impossible as you say, just incredibly unlikely..

javinian, I spoke to her briefly since then a few times, but nothing else really.... so yeah..

TRaven, thanks for your support, no I'm not a stalker, all the things I've learned about her were public knowledge or I got from her directly so hopefully I'm nothing of a roach... except the part about being stepped on.. hah..

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 2:59 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

I wish you the best. Smile

What exactly did you write in your letter? Did you make it clear of your intentions? At least your her friend, aren't you? That's a good start I think. Have you tried calling her to see how she is? Practice as much Japanese and learn as much as you can I guess, then try talking to her.. thumright

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 3:05 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

She could have someone she's interested in or already have boyfriend back in Japan.

Just a high possibility one has to consider.

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 3:07 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Yeah, that's true too.. Sad

Not a possibility one wants to consider but could be that...

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 3:14 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 4:02 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

If I may give my opinion...

The possibilities here are not THAT highly impossible. They're just as impossible as any other relationship... A girl and a boy.

Distance, third party, one-sided emotion, it's just as possible in any other circumstance of boy wants girl.

Smile

So... I don't think your case is that helpless. After all, she was only a TA, so if circumstances are normal, she shouldn't be too much older and is a student herself.

But I think for yourself, you should be sure if this is infatuation or be prepared for any unfavorable possibilities. Since I think this is always most difficult.

I think it's nice for you to keep in touch with her. I'd find it nice if one of my students wanted to write to me.

I'm not sure I entirely agree with some of the comments on here. You shouldn't make your "intentions" clear. In fact, you shouldn't have any intentions. Because you're just setting yourself up.
I don't mean you should give up, though. I just mean you should put it in the back burner. Fact is, she's in another country. And long-distance is usually not an appealing relationship. Besides, it's kind of awkward to get confessed to from an ocean away.

So, only fess up if you think she's got the same feelings. Because currently, if you confess your feelings, it's too unrealistic. You're in two separate countries, you still have your degree to finish, what can you expect to happen? Nothing.

I'd say, use the communication to get to know the person.

My opinion.

Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 3:59 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 7:22 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

I know what you're going through...I fell in love with my TA too..but it was in French class. I couldn't stop thinking about him every second of every day for two months..I had it bad just like you man. I wrote french poems about him and watched french movies and hummed myself to sleep with french songs...

Then I found out he might be married and have children..and well, let's just say I had a -really- hard time.

--But hey, this girl could be single and totally into you, so go for it if you can!!! Hopefully your story won't end up at a dead end like mine did ^_^;

As for the language barrier, I think that might be good for you because it will REALLY motivate you to learn Japanese. After falling in love with french man, my drive to study french went through the roof and I started studying French poetry, writing songs in French, and even decided to DOUBLE MAJOR in french! So..I think that this may be a good opportunity for you to get ahead in Japanese AND potentially score a nice girl :D So indulge in your emotions! Being infatuated can be a real blessing sometimes. Best of luck to you!

Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 11:16 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

things arent going as bad as it could go! think about it there's the internet, and hehe, maybe you should start building up your courage to ask for her number before its too late! ganbatte!
and as vulcan300 said, long distance relationship is possible to keep the relationship going!

why dont you try giving something special to her, or leave a happy memory between you guys? that way she would definitely remember you when shes in japan, or maybe even want to talk to you <3

Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 5:57 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Well you know what they say: its better to have loved and lost than never ha... pffff haahaah, I almost wrote that with a straight face! You should have banged her then all your fantasizing about her would vanish and you would be able to focus on important things (a category of things women do not belong to). Or maybe you've watched so many dramas that you are trying to turn your life into one.