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yamcha Joined: 02 Dec 2006 Total posts: 93 Location: Causeway Bay Age: 25 Gender: Female |
 Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:20 pm Post subject: Arranged Marriage thank Goodness! Post Rating: 0 |
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My parents have set up an arranged marriage for me and I get to meet/see my future husband and his parents for the first time this weekend! I'm so excited!
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pokuteJoined: 27 Apr 2005 Total posts: 1313 Gender: Unknown |
| Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:34 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0 |
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| TROLL!
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Carbon DixoideJoined: 11 Nov 2006 Total posts: 19 Location: Canada Age: 20 Gender: Unknown |
| Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:38 pm Post subject: lol Post Rating: 0 |
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| i think arranged marriages suck... cause u don't realli 'love' the person u're married to...and that can create a lot of troubles and pain....
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yamchaJoined: 02 Dec 2006 Total posts: 93 Location: Causeway Bay Age: 25 Gender: Female |
| Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:44 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0 |
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Why would you say something like that? How would you know? My parent's marriage was also arranged and they are still together and they love each other a lot. Conventional methods of meeting people are based on the improbability of discovering commonality during a random encounter. That typical approach to relationships, by which people first meet, then decide to date, and finally compromise for mutual dissatisfaction so they can make a relationship "work", was flawed because it was built backwards.
You should think before you talk.
Last edited by yamcha on Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:47 pm; edited 1 time in total
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JKHJoined: 20 Jun 2005 Total posts: 164 Location: Fantasyland Gender: Unknown |
| Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:46 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0 |
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Wow! I haven't heard a lot about arranged marriages in this modern day, although I know that they still exist. Can I ask you some cultural questions? You don't have to answer, but I'm so curious!
Are you living in America? Is your family super traditional (Chinese, Indian, etc)? Why did you agree to an arranged marriage? What do you feel the benefits are?
There are so many mixed opinions about arranged marriage, I've heard good and bad, but mostly bad. So please enlighten me! ^^
But regardless, good luck! I hope that things work out the way that you want them to!
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pokuteJoined: 27 Apr 2005 Total posts: 1313 Gender: Unknown |
| Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:46 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0 |
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| See? You fell for it... And you're totally outclassed. Think before you feed the troll next time.
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CoronaJoined: 20 Sep 2005 Total posts: 167 Location: Netherlands Age: 26 Gender: Female |
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yamchaJoined: 02 Dec 2006 Total posts: 93 Location: Causeway Bay Age: 25 Gender: Female |
| Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:53 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0 |
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| JKH wrote: | Wow! I haven't heard a lot about arranged marriages in this modern day, although I know that they still exist. Can I ask you some cultural questions? You don't have to answer, but I'm so curious!
Are you living in America? Is your family super traditional (Chinese, Indian, etc)? Why did you agree to an arranged marriage? What do you feel the benefits are?
There are so many mixed opinions about arranged marriage, I've heard good and bad, but mostly bad. So please enlighten me! ^^
But regardless, good luck! I hope that things work out the way that you want them to! |
Well there are many good things about it. If you were a mother would you rather you son randomly meet some girl at a bar or club who is pretty but has no education, who is up to her ear in deb, whose father is in jail and mother runs a illegal massage place. Or would you rather set up your son with someone whose family background is agreeable with yours and has a proper education and propper values? A girl who will be respectful to you and your husband and will raise your grand children properly.
Love is important too. And it makes sense to me that two people from similar backgrounds would have more things in common, thus making life together more happy. That's what I consider love. More important is conversation. If you look back on any long lasting relationship you will see that most of it was spent in conversation.
I am Chinese from HK and my family is more or less typical.
Last edited by yamcha on Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:59 pm; edited 1 time in total
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AboutDramaJoined: 07 Aug 2005 Total posts: 107 |
| Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:57 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0 |
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| Quote: | | My parents have set up an arranged marriage for me and I get to meet/see my future husband and his parents for the first time this weekend! I'm so excited! |
Wow... interesting. I heard about arrange marriage a lot actually from friends from India.
After u meet him, do you have to agree in marrying him right away? Or you can meet a few first right?
You remind me of a J-drama called "Omiai Kekkon." Very nice drama and to see another perspective of relationship.
I think arrange marriage can work too.
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nikochanr3Joined: 22 Apr 2005 Total posts: 649 Location: NY Gender: Male |
| Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 12:02 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0 |
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Sigh, troll. NOt even interesting troll. You need to be more confrontational._________________ Please visit my homepage!  Nikos World
AIM me at Nikochanr3 if you like. I''m bored. |
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yamchaJoined: 02 Dec 2006 Total posts: 93 Location: Causeway Bay Age: 25 Gender: Female |
| Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 12:03 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0 |
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| AboutDrama wrote: |
Wow... interesting. I heard about arrange marriage a lot actually from friends from India.
After u meet him, do you have to agree in marrying him right away? Or you can meet a few first right?
You remind me of a J-drama called "Omiai Kekkon." Very nice drama and to see another perspective of relationship.
I think arrange marriage can work too. |
I don't klnow how they do it in India or other cultures but a typical arranged Chinese marraige doesn't really have any kind of acceptance meeting. The meet that we will have this weekend is really just to formalize things. It's not really that important for me to even be there but I want to be polite too.
I will look for that torrent.
Last edited by yamcha on Sat Feb 03, 2007 12:04 am; edited 1 time in total
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freezspiritJoined: 14 Aug 2006 Total posts: 106 Gender: Female |
| Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 12:03 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0 |
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| Sorry if this sounds a bit stupid Is the arranged marriage meeting, to see if you like him to start dating with the intention of marriage or has the marriage been agreed by both sets of parents and its a meeting for you both to meet to see if you like him, so like, your final approval..
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yamchaJoined: 02 Dec 2006 Total posts: 93 Location: Causeway Bay Age: 25 Gender: Female |
| Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 12:06 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0 |
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| I have already accepted. Our parents have already approved. It's a good thing. My parents are wise and have always choosen what is healthy and best for me and the family, so why would it be different now?
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AboutDramaJoined: 07 Aug 2005 Total posts: 107 |
| Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 12:11 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0 |
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| Quote: | | Sorry if this sounds a bit stupid Is the arranged marriage meeting, to see if you like him to start dating with the intention of marriage or has the marriage been agreed by both sets of parents and its a meeting for you both to meet to see if you like him, so like, your final approval.. |
Sometime in Chinese culture, the elders have "see"the life of two person, if match, most likely the marriage will be a good one. Means that the couple can get a long each other well, peaceful and compatible... Hard to explain this kind of things...
Anyways, if you don't believe that is fine. Nothing big deal here.
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yamchaJoined: 02 Dec 2006 Total posts: 93 Location: Causeway Bay Age: 25 Gender: Female |
| Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 12:15 am Post subject: Re: lol Post Rating: 0 |
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| Carbon Dixoide wrote: | | i think arranged marriages suck... cause u don't realli 'love' the person u're married to...and that can create a lot of troubles and pain.... |
Your opinion kind of hurts me so I would like to address what you said again. My parent's criteria for choosing a husband for me is not just based on family background and education but also on my happiness. My parent highly havue such things as love and romance and in choosing a son in law they will first look at his personality, to see if it could be compatible with mine or not.
When two people desire nothing more than to please the other in thoughtful, caring ways, this fuels a feedback cycle that increasingly gains energy and grows. Thus from a spark which casts a light of possibility blossoms a sustainable landscape which can beautifully erupt from time to time in blazes of passion that prove the power of romance.
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