World Stupidest Criminals

Naked as a Jailbird

Travion Davis, 19, suspected that Los Angeles police would recognize his distinctive clothing if he robbed a bank. So he stripped naked before his July 1993 raid, and made off with $15,000 in two shopping bags. Not surprisingly, the sight of a naked man running down back alleys with bags stuffed full of cash was distinctive enough to attract the attention of sheriff's deputies, who pursued him over several fences before grabbing him (by what we're not told) and taking him into custody.

In A Pinch

In December 1994, Winston Treadway took two live lobsters from a tank in a Boston, Massachusetts supermarket and stuffed them down his trousers. The lobsters fastened onto his manhood and refused to let go. Doctors reportedly said the result was "a do-it-yourself vasectomy" and told him he might never be a father.

Justice Might Be Blind...

Klaus Schmidt, 41, burst into a Berlin bank in August 1995, waved a pistol, and screamed "Hand over the money!" When staff asked if he wanted a bag, he replied "Damn right it's a real gun!" Guessing Schmidt was deaf, the manager set off the alarm, saying later, "It was ridiculously loud, but he didn't seem to notice."

After five minutes punctuated by Schmidt occasionally shouting "I am a trained killer!" police arrived and arrested him. Schmidt then sued the bank, accusing them of exploiting his disability.

...Or Maybe Just Crazy

In September 1994, Manila's "hanging judge" Maximiano Asuncion declared that people convicted of crimes carrying the death sentence should be made to wrestle poisonous snakes inside a giant aquarium open to the public.

Scott Free

Edward Williams of Houston, Texas, was fined $10,000 and given 10 years probation in March 1987. Formerly a storeroom supervisor at Houston's Jefferson Davis Hospital, Williams had been convicted of stealing 79,680 rolls of toilet paper. No one knew for sure what he'd done with the purloined paper.

A Chilling Effect

Joyce Lebrom fainted at a supermarket checkout counter in Berne, Switzerland, in September 1991. Staff thought she'd had a heart attack, but when paramedics arrived they found a stolen chicken stuffed down her bra. The cold from the chicken had caused her to pass out. After recovering in the hospital she was charged with theft.

Back Seat Driver

In the early hours of the morning, in June 1995, Mike Cyprian ducked into a restaurant in Hammond, Louisiana, to make a phone call. He left his car engine running and his nine-foot python lounging uncaged inside. When Cyprian came out of the restaurant he saw his car in a different spot and a man running away.

Driving Miss Daisy

When Patricia Wakelin of Westbury-on-Trym, England, advertised her Ford Fiesta for sale, David Brice, 28, seemed like an ideal buyer. He turned up with his granny and left the elderly woman with her while he took the car for a test-drive. That was the last Wakelin saw of both Brice and her car.

The old lady turned out not to be his granny at all, but someone from an old people's home whom he'd offered to take for a drive. Brice was eventually sentenced to two years in prison for the car theft and a number of other cons in May 1995.

Monkey Business

The owner of a zoo in Coviha, Portugal, dressed his three children in monkey suits and displayed them as "rare Sumatran orangutans," apparently with some success. He was arrested in September 1994.

Mr. Bubbles

Sacramento, California, December 1995: Burglar Brett Woolley, 25, had a stereo and other items from the home he'd broken into, lined up by the front door and all ready to go. He was then struck with the desire to take a bubble bath. He fell asleep in the tub, the owner returned, and the police were called to wake Woolley.

It's a Jungle out There

A burglar who broke into a bakery in Vilblach, Austria, in August 1985, found it something of an alarming experience. As he crept across the office in the dark, he was suddenly attacked by Lola the cockatoo. During the fight, the burglar knocked over a glass tank containing Egor the viper. By flashlight, he saw Egor slithering across the floor and, at that moment, the baker's pet mynah, Peppino, started his favorite imitation: a doorbell. Terrified, the burglar crashed through a window, cutting himself as he escaped. Baker Robert Koloini, roused by the noise, came downstairs to find his office in chaos, but the $3,600 in his safe still intact.

What a Rip-Off!

An uninformed burglar who stole a 300-year-old violin, in September in 1993, returned it to its owner's door in Munich, Germany, with a note complaining that it was out of tune. The violin was actually worth $80,000.

Picture Perfect

While lightening the load of a security van by $160,000 in May 1995, two robbers in Arlington, Texas, foolishly ignored the 23 Japanese tourists nearby. Although none of the visitors spoke English, they silently handed police 39 photos of the getaway car's license plate. The men were arrested soon after.

Damsels of Distress

Purse snatcher Daniel Pouchin ended up in the hospital when he tried to rob two women in a street in Nice, France, in August 1993. The victims were "burly" transvestites who beat him up and left him with broken ribs.

Hansel Seeks Gretel

The shortest trail we know of was left by Lee Hawke of Melbourne, Australia, in June 1993. Hawke's loot included a leaky bag of popcorn which led police, kernel-by-kernel, to his house, next door to the scene of the crime.

Armed and Idiotic

A Thai man was arrested in Bangkok in November 1994 and charged with impersonating a police officer. Using a stolen uniform, he had spent two months posing as a traffic cop in order to extort money from motorists. The trickster finally came unstuck when a senior officer passed by on an inspection tour and he saluted with the wrong hand.

Exercising Their Freedom

In February 1995, prison guards in Calaya were lambasted after six inmates escaped during fitness sessions in the exercise yard. The convicts apparently bounced over the wall using a trampoline.

Fuzzy Logic

In December 1995, Scott Plumley was told by authorities in Pensacola, Florida, that they couldn't shut down neighborhood drug dealers because they lacked evidence. Plumley went down the street, bought a $4 bag of marijuana and called sheriff's deputies to collect the evidence. Instead they arrested him and left him facing a year in jail. "It is illegal to buy drugs for whatever reason," said a police spokesman.

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

When Elizabeth Howell Boykins, 25, returned to her apartment in Charleston, South Carolina, after a weekend trip in July 1990, she found another woman living there, and wearing her clothes. The intruder greeted Ms. Boykins, took her luggage, and slammed the door in her face.

"I thought I was going crazy," said Ms. Boykins. "The woman took all of my paintings off the walls, and bought a new lamp and a shower curtain and rug for the bathroom."

The police were called, but the stranger insisted it was her apartment. She gave herself away when she misidentified the owner of the apartment building and said that John Wayne was taking her to dinner. She was detained for psychiatric evaluation.

Marching to a Different Beat

In New Zealand, we have the 21-year-old Muppet fan who took a radio station manager hostage in March 1996, because he wanted to hear a song by Kermit the Frog. In fact, he wanted to hear the song Rainbow Connection played non-stop for 12 hours. Police cordoned off the station in Wanganui and evacuated several buildings, when the man said he had a bomb. When the bomb was later found to be fake, the cops stormed the station and arrested him.

Dressed for Success

Bob Briggs, 24, owner of a Domino's Pizza restaurant in Independence, Missouri, dressed as a giant red rabbit and stood in the road to attract business. In August 1991, he was knocked unconscious by Bobo the Clown, who was promoting a Pizza Hut across the road. Briggs declined to press charges, which is perhaps unfortunate as it would have made an interesting court case.

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 1:58 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

great to read!! purely entertaining...lol.....i remembered watching programs where they show videos of them...i think i laughed my stomach out....

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 2:02 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Hahaha.... that is FUNNY. Where'd you get them from?

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 2:11 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Love that classic car...

Once on TV I watched a car chased by lots of cops. But eventually the car ran out of fuel, so the driver got out to give it a push ... when he got tired, he got back in to get some rest. Then afterwards he tried to push it again. It didn't take long for the cops to arrive and arrest him. They've captured the scene from a police helicopter above.

Knowing your gun...

Two cops chased after a man for carrying an illegal firearm. The man had a gun in his hand but decided to throw it away before the cops catch him. However, the cops found the gun that he threw away. The two cops caught him and ask him if he had carried a gun. He said he never had a gun. The two cops tried to play mind trick on him and it worked.

1st cop said. "I found a gun back there."
2nd cop. "What kind of gun is it?"
1st cop. "I think it's a .45mm"
2nd cop. "No way! It's bigger that. I think it's a magnum."
1st cop. "You're crazy. It's a .45mm."

And then out of nowhere the man who was chased by the cops said. " Both of you are crazy. It's a 9mm. And you guys call youself cops! "

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 7:25 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Haha.. I like the deaf man robbing the bank one. These and the Darwin awards are always entertaining Laugh

Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 7:35 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

HAHA.. They are so funny! thumright

Thanks for sharing them with us... thumright

i agree, the deaf one was very funny.

Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 12:17 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Aww..... no more?? Crying

Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 12:21 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

We Card ID...

Colorado Springs: A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

Partners for life...

Detroit: A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

Free checking or is it...?

San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 2:19 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

HAha.. I feel sorry for the partner in crime. Blink

Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 6:26 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a Hefty-bag face mask over his head--and realized that he'd forgotten to cut eye holes in the mask.

Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 6:32 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

lmao. .funny stuff ^__^

Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 8:48 pm Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Haha, where did you find all of this anecdotes? Laugh

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 9:07 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

lol.. i found mine on the net. Maybe everyone can find some more and share it here.

Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 9:11 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Haha..pure stupid criminals....my gosh...

Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2006 3:36 am Post subject: Post Rating: 0

Yahoo! News
Jun 16, 2006

Billionaire's son charged with burglary

The son of billionaire oil tycoon T. Boone Pickens was charged with burglary after he was found hiding under a table in a fly fishing shop, authorities said.

He was found Sunday inside the Housatonic Meadows Fly Shop after the store's owner noticed something wrong and called police, according to state police. State police said investigators found a nearby stash of items taken from the shop and found Pickens groggy and hiding under a table inside.