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Fantasticals' Fantastic tips on dating pt. 1


 
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 5:12 am    Post subject: Fantasticals' Fantastic tips on dating pt. 1   Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

Hey there cats and kittens.
Fantastial here and I thought I would share some of the wisdom I have acquired over the years
I am not a dating guru nor do I believe that any one system of dating works
If you bought the David D'angelo, The Rules or watched that God Awful VH1 series on dating then you might have an idea of how all of that stuff works and doesn't work
But I digress. Right now this is about you.
It always has been.
When you talk to anyone you are in a way selling yourself.
You are in a fact a sales person. a social salesman.
Dating isn't hard. In fat i;s the easiest thing to do.
Hell I think dating is easier than painting a room by yourself with no latter and just a brush.

There is no secret
There is no spoon
There is no way to really prepare you for talking to a particular person.

But there are ways to prepare yourself for yourself
Practice good hygene.
I can't stress this enough
Not a day goes by when you just feel like being funky for one day and the person you wish you could talk to sees you at the perfect moment.
But you look like crap on a crap cracker.
1. HYGENE
If you need to shave in the morning do so.
bristled faces are only for rockers and drunks
and unless you an play Battery by Metallica on a guitar don't bother
Guitar Hero doesn't count.
ALWAYS be prepared.
That means bring gum
lotion for those dried, ashy elbows and hands.
baby wipes ( they work in a pinch if it's good for a baby's feces encrusted but it's good enough for you.
some sort of breath freshner. Not mint. ANYTHING BUT MINT.
Mint has that medicinal smell. Plus everyone else does it and the smell just triggers pick-up. fruity trident or a 99 cent worth of bubble gum children's mouthwash is best.

2. clothing style.
First you have fashion and then you have style
fashion is fleeting
style is forever.
For isntane. I barely rarely ever wear jeans.
I know..jeans are comfortable and they are fashionable.
I wear jeans when I am doing somethng that I know is gonna make me so dirty that my clothing is gonna be destroyed
I like wearing a shirt and tie. French Cuffs always.
I get it from my grandfather. He always had a suit and a hat. he wore it everywhere.
Suits kinda slow me down and make me more aware of myself. To stay neat.
I know if i wear jeans I'll look like rap cuz that is who I am.
I know myself enough to take that equation out of the formula an dmake myself look decent. I dress for the person and mentality that I want to attrct. If I wanted a rocker emo goth hick or guy I would dress like that. But emo baggage ain't fantastic so I stay away.
I know what I want by knowing who I am. Sure I could be blowing off the sweetest mopey girl in town but I don't want to be with someone mopey. I personally like a person that reads more than the headlines and understand that reality tv isn't reality.
ANd to be honest I oculd be messing up Miss Mopey's chance of meeting Mr. Mopey
Sure I culd date her until she stops being mopey but that's in a way trying to change somebody into who they aren't and everyone wants to be themselves. If they want to be mopey then by all means mope. If they want to be happy please be happy. it's your choice. But that doesn't mean I want talk and of course treat them as human beings they see themselves as. more on that later.


3. Get a hobby
Look we all hopefully have jobs and or go to school
jobs don't define a person but it gives a sliver to a person's personality
try something you have been curious about. eveE if it seems that only the opposite sex does it.
Guys can knit. chiks can install noz on their rides.
it's the 21st century and if you think doing this or that is gay trust me...you don't know gay.
If you are a guy try soap making.
It sounds girly enough but nothing sez creativity like making your own bar of soap with toys in it. Besides. If it was good enough for Tyler Durden in fight Cub it's good enough for you. One thing is for sure. nothing sez giggity when u the girl you are dating smells like the scent you made cuz she washed herself with the bar you made with your bare hands.
If you are a female do something that doesn't sound girly at all. for some strange reason video games are still considered a boy's toy and nothing makes a guy quiver like a jelly fish in an electric hair like a gal that can out Halo, out Gran Turismo, and out Street Fighter her man. Sure his ego may be bruised but one he sees you beat his friends his pride won't be the only thing swelling. And ask any guy that the one thing sexier than a sweet proper lady is a sweet and proper lady that isn't afraid and does get dirty.

you see folks, shopping, video games, drag racing, Russian Roulette with your co-workers can be hobbies but a hobby that seems mundane and dare I say cliche usually is.
Hell take up ballroom dancing.
It'll make grandma proud and want to take you to places sure but nothing sez wow like being able to actually dance like on Dancing with the Stars. (google it)
You might actually need to know how to tango in the future
I was actually a dance instructor on a cruise ship. didn't get any dates but I had a lot of people trying to hook me up with their daughters and sons and oddly enough 3/4 of them wanted to date me to see what the big deal was. You never know

4. Know who you are.
I know..sounds like zen buddhist nonsene but bear with me.
You want someone to be interested in you right?
But who are you?
If you want someone to like you but you don't know who you are then how are they going to know who to like. ANd that boils down to being yourself
What you did and what you do make up a grand percentage of who you are.
not all of it but a good amount. If you have a dream about doing something do it.
fail...fail some more.
fail so much that by accident you get good.
and next thing you know your dream is a reality.
Being yourself doesn't mean not having manners or scratching yourself in public. no one should.
ever
no.
But don't do thing to alter your personality
it never lasts.
You an only enrich your life and broaden the view in which you see the world.

What's the difference between being confident and being ****?
**** is thinking that you are the best
Confident is knowing that you are good enough to know that there is always something new to learn

So go out there and discover who you are.
Date and time don't really mean muh. it's the experience.
So you had dinner with a famous movie star.
Big Whoop. How did your favourite song made you feel when u first heard it?What was it like when you cooked your first meal by yourself? What did it taste like? (good is never a real answer) Be descriptive.
Those are the things that are important. That experience. That moment
That is what you want and that is what they want.
To share a moment or two. and if you have some interesting moments to share and hopefully make new ones and invite a person along for the moment..
then you possibly just got yourself a date.

I am sure there are lots of question but I am not though yet but if you have any please share.

Here is an exercise for y'all
Describe what chicken taste like WITHOUT using another food for reference
and
go to a bar.
find the hottest person there.
Buy them a drink (male or female)
and tell the bartender not to say who it's from.

COMING UP: PART II Where to date.

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HongKongChickOffline
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 4:24 pm    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

wow. u know what u are talking about!! Smile thank goodness i am not a guy, i dont do a whole lot when it comes to picking up a guy! AHAHAH Big Smile
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 4:44 pm    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

HongKongChick wrote:
wow. u know what u are talking about!! Smile thank goodness i am not a guy, i dont do a whole lot when it comes to picking up a guy! AHAHAH Big Smile


True but the sad thing is...I am the doctor that made the ultimate wonder drug that actually works.
and cures Billions but it's actually a placebo
and the only thing that can cure my ailment is my own pill

I could fix the world. I know all the ins and outs but sadly enough

The people I run into oh boy...a lot of close to bulls eye until...
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 4:58 pm    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

I need confidence, shouldn't be thinking of dating before I've got that.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 5:31 pm    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

Keiko1981 wrote:
I need confidence, shouldn't be thinking of dating before I've got that.


nope...dating is perfect in fact speed dating would be even better.
You can't be confident about something unless you know it work.Speed dating allows you to get comfortable with talking to another person.


You don't have to worry about if is she single or married or even if she is interested.
she is or he is because they are there just like you.
So just be yourself and that odd ass collection of bottle caps you have she jsut might have the other set and be relieved that you are weird just like her.
Which bring me to another point

Normalcy
there is no sych thing as normal so you can just forget it.
seriously.
just forget about it.
there are benchmarks but not normal.
whats' the difference.
Benchmarks are things you can measure yourself against.
kinda like an average but benchmarks in a social term is more of the highest and lowest.
Kinda like blood pressure. (google it if ya don't know)
each person including me has many many MANY benhmarks for everythign we do.
Some peopel are specialist.
They can focus on one thing and hit or exceed the benchmark
SOme or generalist like myself. I like to see myslef liek the Red Mage of Final Fantasy tatics. I don't like to focus on any one thing which has given me a great insight into life. However I am not the best f the best at any one thing.

So yeah you're not normal which is good because no one is either.

and to clarify dating is not a commitment.
dating is an interview process to see if you wish to be commited to one person.
you can date 2 or 3 people. as long as they know that you are doing so.
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 5:44 pm    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

Dear Fantastical,

YES !! Hygiene most important.

What I almost think is you.......



There was a boy
A very strange enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far, very far
Over land and sea
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he

And then one day
A magic day he passed my way
And while we spoke of many things
Fools and kings
This he said to me
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return"

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return"

*********************************

Once you do it all you find that life is really not that difficult. People make their own lives tricky by trying to be something they are not for someone else to critique.
Just go with the flow and enjoy each minute and don't do anything to others that you wouldn't want them to do to you.

It's all in the mind babe.

Peg
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 6:14 pm    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

Peggy wrote:
Dear Fantastical,

YES !! Hygiene most important.

What I almost think is you.......



There was a boy
A very strange enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far, very far
Over land and sea
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he

And then one day
A magic day he passed my way
And while we spoke of many things
Fools and kings
This he said to me
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return"

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return"

*********************************

Once you do it all you find that life is really not that difficult. People make their own lives tricky by trying to be something they are not for someone else to critique.
Just go with the flow and enjoy each minute and don't do anything to others that you wouldn't want them to do to you.

It's all in the mind babe.

Peg


AWWW THANK YOU SO MUCH! cheers

That is so sweet of you to do! I am very touched!
Thak you so much
I would have to say the core of my believe of life life and everything is Wabi-Sabi
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wabi-sabi
Pretty much perfection in being inperfect.

There is only one thing that is perfect in the universe. and that is death itself.
There is no perect date, boyfriend, girlfriend, or anything that is organic.
Our differnces especially the ones you may not usually go for is a good reason just to talk to a person.
It doesn't have to end with akiss at the frost steps. or ramp if they are in a wheelchair
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 9:34 pm    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

Fantastical,
thank you for the wiki site. Have pegged it to take my time going through it. It looks just the sort of thing that fits for me.

Not sure I can agree that nothing is perfect. I had the perfect love affair and happy marriage with my own true love for sixty years. Because of that I can now go on dealing with life day by day and finding all sorts of things of interest...such as someone called Fantastical. Cool

Will take this subject up later. I do have to do some practical stuff at the bank. Argue

Peg
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 9:57 pm    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

Peggy wrote:
Fantastical,
thank you for the wiki site. Have pegged it to take my time going through it. It looks just the sort of thing that fits for me.

Not sure I can agree that nothing is perfect. I had the perfect love affiar and happy marriage with my own true love for sixty years. Because of that I can go on dealing with life day by day and finding all sorts of things of interest...such as someone called Fantastical.

Will take this subject up later. I do have to do some practical stuff at the bank. Argue

Peg


Let me know when u get back Peggles.
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 11:46 pm    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

I'm Back.

I have been wallowing in the wabi sabi and then sidetracked into the Japanese poetry pages.
I am very interested in haiku and more recently in waka. Just the history of waka alone is fascinating.

I try to write it and at first it is impossible. Then you think 'Oh I can see... I can do this' and then again you come to the realisation that you don't have a clue. There is not enough time in the day to do all the things I would like to try. I just can't get by with five hours sleep anymore.

I think I must be in my sabi stage. I like being in my little cave and I enjoy being alone.
Once you find you have no-one else to take care of you think..'Now what am I going to do with my life.' Life is going to go on and I am not one to give up on life. Having gone through three years of radiation, surgery and 14 months of chemo I found plenty of time to think and learn more about the Internet. It certainly is a roadway to the rest of the world. I will never know all I want to know about the technical side of the PC but it is the world that makes me want to reach out. This world is such a marvelloous place and most of the people are wonderful and interesting and everyone wants to be known in some way by someone somewhere. It is easier by PC because it is all in the mind and you don't have to worry if you are wearing the correct clothes or if you have jam on your face.... In fact it's OK even if you don't spell the words right every time. I used to be very uptight when I found that someone didn't know how to spell. Now I just sail right over the word because if it sounds right, then that's OK. Message received. Oh serenity... Smile

For good measure..my last recent waka

Where did the song go
How did the melody fade
No sound, no light shines
And yet a bird is singing,
The heart impaled on a thorn.

Peggy
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 11:54 pm    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

Fantastical,

I think we are now so far off topic that we need another thread. However it does relate to human relations in a way. Just not for the very young who are still feeling unsteady about being open to another person's ideas. Once you gain a little confidence you can talk more easily. If the other person looks at you sideways you know that they will not be a life time companion.... so move on..it's their loss..right?

Peg
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:21 am    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

That's awesome P-Diddy!
about the "perfect marriage."

The idea of the perfect marriage is that there is no perfection.
That not only your marriage may not work for me or everyone else or that your husband may not be the ideal husband for everyone.
but you made it work for 60 years.
and that's beautiful.

There is no perfect life either

You know that astrophysicist Stephen Hawking.
in a wheelchair speaks with a robot box.
Wrote that book about blackhole and outerspace?
Well he wrote that AFTER his current set in.
AFter his first wife left him because she couldn't take the current situation she was in
and got married BEFORE he wrote the book.
Still married still teaching.

There is no perfection.
Just what fits for you.
not me or him or that guy over there eating nachos
perfect would be 1+1 = 2


Thus perfection in inperfection.

oh and you should start a haiku thread.
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 2:29 am    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

Fantastical,

No use starting a haiku or waka thread. It would become a monologue. No one really interested or will not post their efforts. I can't blame them altho I would love to read what others try to do.

Yes you are right about perfectiion. BUT if everything was perfect we would all be automatons. If my true love was perfect to anyone but me that would never be perfect for me. He disregarded all others. He was perfect for me and I am happy with that. I would not want anyone other than the one I found. I do not understand how there can be more than one perfect love or marriage. I could not marry anyone else. I don't know anyone but the one I found who would find me perfect. Setting for less than perfect is not perfection. I hope you find that person one day. You will surely know.

You can't settle for the first person who likes you. Nor even for the first person you think is charming. I had lots of beaus when I was young. Good friends. Funny and good to play tennis or go dancing or the movies. Good to write to when they were overseas during the war. But just not the right one. I don't know if it is destiny but things have a way of happening. It's all very interesting as the pieces fall into place. I think the thing for young people to remember or even 'older' young people...just don't push so hard and let things happen and time will take care of everything. It always has for me.
You have to pick a lot of flowers before you find the one that lasts the longest with the sweetest smell.

You said it right my dear. Hygiene is the first answer and I think going easy on the alcohol so you know what goes on.

Ain't life fun... Didn't you just love Nat King Cole.

Peg
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 3:15 am    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

Peggy wrote:
Fantastical,

No use starting a haiku or waka thread. It would become a monologue. No one really interested or will not post their efforts. I can't blame them altho I would love to read what others try to do.

Yes you are right about perfectiion. BUT if everything was perfect we would all be automatons. If my true love was perfect to anyone but me that would never be perfect for me. He disregarded all others. He was perfect for me and I am happy with that. I would not want anyone other than the one I found. I do not understand how there can be more than one perfect love or marriage. I could not marry anyone else. I don't know anyone but the one I found who would find me perfect. Setting for less than perfect is not perfection. I hope you find that person one day. You will surely know.

You can't settle for the first person who likes you. Nor even for the first person you think is charming. I had lots of beaus when I was young. Good friends. Funny and good to play tennis or go dancing or the movies. Good to write to when they were overseas during the war. But just not the right one. I don't know if it is destiny but things have a way of happening. It's all very interesting as the pieces fall into place. I think the thing for young people to remember or even 'older' young people...just don't push so hard and let things happen and time will take care of everything. It always has for me.
You have to pick a lot of flowers before you find the one that lasts the longest with the sweetest smell.

You said it right my dear. Hygiene is the first answer and I think going easy on the alcohol so you know what goes on.

Ain't life fun... Didn't you just love Nat King Cole.

Peg


Yes I did love nat king cole. I am a standards man myself.

Speaking of alcohol I just found a bottle of Hai Karate!
I wish they did a limited run of that stuff!
SO bad yet so good cuz it's bad.
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 7:02 am    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

Speaking of alcohol..

If you take care of your liver..your liver will take care of you.



I used to like Midori poured over lots of ice. Otherwise it's only good over the best vanilla icecream.
the same applies to cointreau.

But I usually enjoyed a screwdriver in a bucket.


Now reduced to one glass of wine with dinner. Even that makes me take a whirl around on my broomstick on a full moon night. That's when I usually see Ethlenn flinging her nine tails around the universe. cheers

Peg
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 8:18 am    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

This topic became so somber that my wild, foxy nature really can't stand it so I came to mess around^^

Peggy is right, kids nowadays don't read anything that surpass standard leaflet from a supermarket, no one would appreciate any efforts in composing a beautiful and vague in description poem, that would bring you a Nobel Prize...

Happy enough I'm able to get true Absinthe, mehehe...

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 6:25 pm    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

Welcome Ethlenn,

thanks for entering once again and please lift the mood. Don't know if absinthe will be elevating however!!!!! Got to watch that stuff. Who loved that..was it Toulouse Lautrec?? No someone else I think. I'll think on that for awhile.

Now you have folded up the nine tails what is the next journey going to be?? I shall keep a watch just in case it is one of my special joys.

Peg.
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:46 am    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

Yes I did remember correctly. Toulouse Lautrec...also Beaudelaire. Van Gogh and Gaugin.

also Picasso....and Oscar Wilde. etc etc etc.

Peg
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PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2010 10:47 pm    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

Yup, Toulouse-Lautrec, and all that bunch of Počtes maudits, I guess who else than you would know that^^ Also all that boheme artistique^^
Absinthe is illegal in most countries, but it kicks, that "green fairy".
In the meantime, there is always gin to douse in.

OK, since the topic is on dating, here's my priceless tip on it:

Don't.

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PostPosted: Wed May 26, 2010 5:29 am    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

Dating....my take in this is: go have fun getting knowing that person or them people; depends on how many you are seeing at the time, but don't ever get serious in your dating, it won't be fun if your getting serious....
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 8:42 pm    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

Well I wonder where this page went to. Probably off doing something interesting.
Fantastical vanished. I'm still here as the song says. Ethlenn definitely swishing around.

Aren't there any other people who like words with some meaning nowadays.

Even rappers can make life interesting if they have a mind.... full of words.

The thing about rapping that I find difficult , is trying not to slide into poetry with rhyming
sentences.
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 3:14 am    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

This is pretty piss poor dating advice... here's that I've learned (short version).

For guys:
Look Healthy - Everyone is attracted to healthy looking people because healthy people produce healthy & strong offspring. If a woman has to spend 30 minutes doing their make up everyday to look good, you can least spend 30 minutes to work out. Girls needs to feel secure and protected around their man and being a little stronger/bigger helps. Looking healthy also means wash your face, do your hair, wear fitted clothes, etc. Look in the mirror, if you would do you then you're good.

Have a Career (Plan) - Women needs to know and their offspring are taken care of. If you're not in school, you should be working. If you love computers, you should become an IT. If you don't have a career, work two jobs until you do. Work on what you love and the women will come. Women love career driven men with goals. Watching every single Kdrama or beating every game is not a career.

Social Skills - You may be the nicest and sweetest person in the world, but no one will know unless you know how to properly show it. You think you're being nice to a girl, but she may think you're a creep because your body language seems uncomfortable, you can't keep eye contact, or you stutter. Work on your social skills and talk to the person in front of you waiting in line, the cashier, the person sitting on the bench, compliment your friend's clothes, etc. Now your that you're not nervous talking to strangers, try asking out that waitress you think is cute or ask that hot chick to study with. Failing is the first step and practicing is the second step towards success.

Confidence: fake it till you make it
Questions: write down and memorize 5 interesting questions for the sake of conversation (ie If you could take a vacation anywhere in the world, where would it be?)
Jokes: write down and memorize 5 jokes (ie what type of food is good for your eyes? SEEfood)
Story telling: write down and practice telling 3 stories well (ie So me and these 4 girls were standing outside the club, some random guy hits up the hottest of the 4, but gets rejected. I know it takes a lot of guts, but I told him that he did good and at least he tried unlike 90% of the guys out here. I told the girl that she should take it as a compliment because it takes a lot of courage, she laugh and decided to give the random guy her number.)
Practice/Fail: How many hours of losing or playing in Starcraft did it take to get where you're at right now. It's the same thing here with women...

Smile, talk about things that the person is interested in, ask questions based off the answer that was given, be excited and interested when that person is talking, pretend that person is your best friend, and stay away from politics and religion.

Approachable- If you're home alone, you probably won't be able to ask anyone or be asked out. This mean, join a club, go study at a tea/coffee place, etc. If you're a girl and you're forming a circle with 3 other girls, guys can't approach you. Approaching people is hard enough, so make it easier by putting yourself in a approachable position. Guys should approach every single girl they are attracted to because she could have been that .00001% chance the girl of your dream. If she's taken, you won't be thinking what if, if she's not suitable for you she could be suitable for your buddy or has friends that are suitable for you.

For girls: Ask a guy out if you're interested in him, he will not think you're a slut for making the first move. If a girl asks me out, I'd probably give her a chance even if I'm only slightly attracted to her because it takes a lot of guts to approach and I just got complimented.

Think that's all I have for now, please feel free to correct or add to this guide.
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 06, 2013 12:41 pm    Post subject:    Post Rating: 0 Reply with quote

I guess we should count as well on how will you approach a girl.. It's not like you'll just say, hi! on someone else especially in our country were woman are outsidely conservatives, meaning as they're not b****es.. So introduction I guess as well is a big deal.. I've been into that, trust me.. We're walking in a mall with my girlfriend and her sister, and there's this guy who just bumps up and says hi.. Seriously? He'd got all the rejects from my girlfriend's sister.. So I guess, you'll need a pretty cool timing as well..
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